Spoilt Prats

As mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell is moved to a low security prison in Florida where prisoners will supposedly likely “hate” her, PR peddler Jay Beecher’s ‘The Maxwell Files’ website bizarrely starts promoting organic vegetables in Sussex and lists stories about this anything but wholesome criminal as “recipes.”

Former Las Vegas stripper attempts to auction drippy Prince Harry’s black underpants for the ludicrous sum of £800,000; who on earth would want these soiled goods?

As the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are slammed as “hypocrites” and “liars,” they perform another “PR stunt” in announcing a forthcoming speech on Mandela Day.

As mendacious mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell is set to rot in the clink for 20 years, her mouthy mucker mate Prince Andrew may be arrested by the FBI.

As convicted mucky madam nonce Ghislaine Maxwell begins her 20-year jail sentence, it is not surprising that no prisoners want to share a dorm with her; her prison diaries will deservedly make for grim reading.

Prosecutors rightly demand mucky madam sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell gets maximum 55 years in the clink and thus likely deservedly dies there; they also want the deviant liar to pay the maximum £615,000 fine and call out her spreading “horror stories” about her incarceration as “unfounded.”

As Ghislaine Maxwell faces 30 years in prison, her lawyers have ludicrously countered suggesting she should serve just 4 years; her few “remaining friends” and family laughably blub about the mucky madam being a “fundamentally good and decent person” who “still has much to contribute to the world if she is given a meaningful opportunity to do so.”

As Ghislaine Maxwell’s former business partner Jemma Kidd takes part in a car rally that raises money for victims of sex trafficking, we again call out the ridiculous vanity project of rich-not-robust women that is Cash & Rocket.

Hypocritical Duke and Duchess of Sussex deserve condemnation for indulging in £320,000 worth of private jet flights for their Jubilee trip; just who paid for these unwanted wastrels’ travels remains unknown.

As sentencing approaches on 28th June, the end is nigh for Ghislaine Maxwell; elsewhere Elon Musk asks about her client list as the mucky madam’s pugnacious PR peddlers go crickets.

MeGain’s nodding dog PR peddler Omid Scobie claims “clownery” forced him to delete a tweet deemed by many “hateful” to a 4-year-old child, Prince Louis.

As it is revealed Carrie Johnson has been abusive to staff at Chequers, perhaps it is time for her to be told: “Carrie Shouldn’t Live Here Anymore;” this demanding wench along with her hapless husband deserve kicking out of all of their grace-and-favour residences ASAP.

Both blubbing bed sh*tter Amber Heard and boring botherer the Duchess of Sussex should be heard less and ignored more; it is time to cancel these woke wazzocks.

As Katie Price is finally forced to face the prospect of jail for breaching a restraining order, we suggest it is time this “gutter slag” grew up.

As Sarah, Duchess of York talks about “standing strong… when the winds get violent,” we again remind this toesucking twerp to answer the question: “Did she ever repay the croaked paedophile Jeffery Epstein?”

As PR peddler for the ‘House of Montecito’ Omid Scobie again “rants” about the royals, all this one-time mate of the not so glamorous glamour model Jodie Marsh does is show himself up.

Mother of God! Law firm give notice that the Duchess of Sussex’s pugnacious PR peddler Omid Scobie has been sent a cease and desist letter and reported to the Metropolitan Police regarding “the harassment, threats and stalking of Sadie Quinlan.”

It seems “Carrie doesn’t live here anymore” has become the likely fate of Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s currently missing wine chucking puppet mistress as “Where is Carrie Johnson?” trends on Twitter.

Aside from showing audacity in wearing shoes featuring the words ‘Never Complain’ and ‘Never Explain’ after her ex-husband’s £12 million payout to a woman he claimed to have never met, isn’t it time that Sarah, Duchess of York confirms if she ever paid the paedophile Jeffrey Epstein back?

Matthew Steeples suggests those moaning that Ghislaine Maxwell’s trial should have been covered by the media in the same way as Johnny Depp’s libel suit do not understand the differences between the two cases; there is simply no “conspiracy” or “cover-up” going on here.

The appointment of the PR peddling pillock Omid Scobie to ‘Royal Executive Editor’ at ‘Yahoo! News’ is just yet another own goal by the wicked wench formerly known as Meghan Markle; it is time this sop was simply told to “sod off!”

In constantly referencing the Duchess of Sussex as “Duchess Meghan,” PR peddler and arse-licker Omid Scobie proves himself anything but an expert on royalty, titles, honours and protocol.

As the ‘Daily Mail’ claims to share new ‘bombshell’ revelations suggesting Ghislaine Maxwell herself a victim of abuse, we remind them that this story is nothing new and abused to abuser should not be allowed as her excuse.

That taker of loans from paedophiles and reader of books about farting Sarah, Duchess of York thinks she can get away with keeping £225,000 in tainted cash shows her yet again as nothing but a total berk.

After her attempt to get a retrial was rightly rejected and the BBC’s ‘House of Maxwell’ reveals that she used to make ‘miaow’ noises at her late father, it is now time for the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell to give up and to also do the right thing – name names and finally tell the truth.

That the fool Prince Andrew and his feckless live-in ex-wife were prepared to accept £1.3 million from a Turkish conman illustrates how low their moral compasses truly are.

Whilst privacy obsessed yet decidedly public when for profit Prince Harry won’t be attending his grandfather’s memorial, his now disgraced uncle Prince Andrew surprisingly will be rocking up for this public occasion.

Matthew Steeples slams the vindictive campaign against YouTube sensation Sadie Quinlan – known as ‘Yankee Wally’ – by the mendacious ‘Sussex Squad’ groupies led by PR peddlers Omid Scobie and Christopher Bouzy and helped along by a bashful ‘BuzzFeed News’ busybody named Ellie Hall.

As birdbrained Sarah, Duchess of York goes on a moneymaking tour in America, this debtor to croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s tweet about her thoughts on “facts” come back to bite her in her not so regal arse.

In insulting his grandmother by deciding not to attend his grandfather’s memorial, Prince Harry yet again shows himself as nothing but a degenerate drip.

As noxious nitwit Lady Victoria Hervey sticks her oar in over Ukraine, fellow Epstein-Maxwell associate and feckless fruitcake Sarah, Duchess of York heads off to the USA to try and rake in more wonga; shame on these pointless prattling profiteers.

Could the Duchess of Sussex’s half-sister Samantha Markle prove to be her ultimate nemesis? ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan most definitely thinks so.

Matthew Steeples asks: “Given that both Jeffrey Epstein and Jean-Luc Brunel have been ‘suicided,’ will Ghislaine Maxwell now cough up the names of any of her co-conspirator sex abusers?”

As Prince Andrew’s notches on the bedpost non-counter Michael Wynne-Parker talks of their “wild times” bedding birds, we suggest the randy royal might do better to silence his chirping chums including ‘Lady Herpes’ also.

As ‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie claims Sadie Quinlan (AKA ‘Yankee Wally’) is “on a watch list” with the “good folk at South Wales Police and Scotland Yard” and the “Fixated Threat Assessment Centre” also, the popular YouTuber reports him to the police herself.

Party pest and piffle peddling pillock Lady Victoria Hervey vanishes from Twitter; the mouthy moron likes to criticise others, yet clearly can’t take criticism herself.

Matthew Steeples questions the murky motives of those questioning the authenticity of THAT 2001 photo of Prince Andrew, Virginia Roberts and Ghislaine Maxwell; it is time that the personal profiteer Lady Victoria Hervey was called out for the fake that she is and it is time to remind the public that it is Ghislaine Maxwell and her avaricious associates who’ve actually been exposed for faking photos.

As she faces sentencing for sex trafficking, morally bankrupt mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell turns to the words of morally superior Mark Twain; all they really have in common is mutual experience of financial bankruptcy.

In telling companies to give their workers time to meditate when they should be working, Prince Harry shows himself as nothing but a delusional drip.

As Prince Andrew gets support from the dregs of society in the form of disgraced news baron felon toff Lord Black and washed up wastrel daughter of a criminal twerp Lady Victoria Hervey, we suggest he’s truly scraping the barrel.

Will guffawing gadabout Prince Andrew’s antics in Tramp prove to be his downfall or will his old fellow golf and girl loving mucker Donald Trump come out to “wish him well”?

Dumber than dumb non-entity Lady Victoria Hervey morphs from ‘TwIt Girl’ to ‘InstaIdiot’ in a series of Instagram posts about her mucky madam mate Ghislaine Maxwell; she charmingly labels one victim she doesn’t even know a “complete whore” and another she claims to actually know a “drug addict slut and a f*ck up.”

Former federal prosecutor suggests convicted mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s chances of getting an appeal will have “major hurdles” and will “have to meet a very high standard.”

As a former Buckingham Palace employee reveals that “spoilt” Prince Andrew made her run up four flights of stairs to shut his curtains whilst he sat next to them, we suggest it’s now curtains for him.

As Prince Andrew loses yet more responsibilities, quits social media and plunges deeper into debt, we suggest he turns to one of his last remaining chums, the notoriously noxious skinflint Bernie Ecclestone.

Lady Victoria Hervey’s latest airing to share irrelevant claims about Ghislaine Maxwell simply show her lack of connection with the real story; this tedious twerp ought to now learn the art of silence.

The blithering buffoon that is Boris Johnson and the randy rotter that is Prince Andrew should do the decent thing… Disappear from public view forever and get a room together with their weird wack job wives.

That billionaire murderer Robert Durst effectively becomes an innocent man in death is utterly outrageous; that he has defeated justice is ludicrous and the key question now is: “Who gets his fortune?”