Combining a mix of society's last word and both wit and wisdom, The Steeple Times covers food, drink and fine dining as well as luxury, travel, the arts, individuals of influence and current affairs in the United Kingdom, America and elsewhere. We are best described as being akin to "a cross between The Huffington Post and Private Eye".
The magazine's following is affluent, engaged and international. With 41% of readers coming from the UK and 38% from America, The Steeple Times also has strong presence within Canadian, Italian, German and Australian territories.
The economy, politics and current affairs
Money, power and its guiding forces
February 24, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
James Stunt calls out the police over their inaction against those who sold his plainly illegally destroyed Lamborghini without his permission Thanks to Theresa May as the most useless Home Secretary in history, the police have no resources. Proof of the consequences has yet again been provided in the form of the total inaction of … Continue reading “Non-Policing a Lambo”
February 21, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
Cousin of Prince Andrew speaks with the FBI about alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s involvement in the Jeffrey Epstein case The Duke of York’s very own cousin has called the FBI about what she knows about the Epstein case according to Sebastian Shakespeare in the Daily Mail this morning. Speaking to the columnist, Christina Oxenberg, … Continue reading “Calling Out A Creep”
February 18, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
Hull woman complains to local newspaper about a mural that she believes features someone fondling Jesus’s genitals Where most people see a mural featuring “hardworking” local people “going about their everyday lives in times gone by,” Rose White sees demons, Jehovah’s Witnesses and the “abuse of children.” In comments to Grimsby Live, the Hessle … Continue reading “Raging Rose”
February 12, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
Did Sheila Caffell shoot herself once or twice or was she murdered by her bother Jeremy Bamber? New evidence is revealed On the eve of the final episode of ITV’s White House Farm airing, fresh doubt has been raised as to whether Sheila Caffell was the victim of murder or whether she was the perpetrator … Continue reading “A Double Shot or Not?”
February 11, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
As a deportation flight leaves for Jamaica, Twitter users have rightly angrily reacted asking why the paedophile Rolf Harris was not sent back to Australia after his release The disgraced Australian ‘entertainer’ (if you can call this creep such) Rolf Harris is also a convicted paedophile. He was released from jail in May 2017 after … Continue reading “Deport Rotten Rolf”
February 7, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
Michael Barrymore’s bizarre rant prior to Channel 4’s documentary about the death of Stuart Lubbock proves him a lying maniac; the crazed nutjob has now also blocked ‘The Steeple Times’ During the screening of Barrymore: The Body in the Pool, the television personality India Willoughby announced to her 38,000 followers on Twitter: “I find Michael … Continue reading “The Baloney of Barrymore”
February 5, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
“Fed up” Maidenhead constituent who fears “one foot wrong and you could be over” gets no help from Theresa May over a missing lamp post When she’s not naughtily wandering through wheat fields or rambling around with her garden gnome-like money magnet husband Philip, our former Prime Minister Theresa May should surely be helping her … Continue reading “Where’s Theresa (When You Actually Need Her)?”
February 4, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
Michael Barrymore belittles the father of the late Stuart Lubbock by taking to Instagram to join those mocking the new investigation into the murder as “parasites” Michael Barrymore is a man with no heart. Aside from no doubt encouraging Twitter to suspended Terry Lubbock, the father of the man who died in his swimming pool, … Continue reading “Shame on Michael Barrymore”
February 2, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
Stuart Lubbock was MURDERED claims new detective investigating his death in Michael Barrymore’s swimming pool; his father, meanwhile, has his Twitter account suspended This Thursday on Channel 4 at 9pm, a new documentary will air about the death of Stuart Lubbock on 31st March 2001 in a swimming pool at the home of the since … Continue reading “Michael Barrymore – It’s Time For Answers”
January 29, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
Boris Johnson’s launch of a range of limited edition tea towels celebrating Brexit sums up the damp deal he’s “achieved” perfectly That the Conservative Party have resorted to peddling ‘Got Brexit Done’ tea towels to celebrate Brexit is pure comedy – especially given they cannot even deliver them until 10 days after ‘Brexit Day’ on … Continue reading “A Wishy Washy Washup”
January 21, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
The thugs that filmed themselves attacking Steve ‘Stop Brexit Man’ Bray should be prosecuted On Saturday in Westminster, vile thugs attacked Steve ‘Stop Brexit Man’ Bray. Shouting: “He hits his wife” and “she’s f**king gorgeous, I’d do her” at a lady in the company of the anti-Brexit campaigner, the potty-mouthed cowards then stole Bray’s … Continue reading “Name & Shame – Buska Patriot”
by Matthew Steeples
New evidence about movements inside White House Farm on the evening of the massacre there raises new questions about Jeremy Bamber’s conviction This morning the Mirror splashed its front page with an exclusive about Jeremy Bamber. Featuring the headline: “New evidence gives me ultimate alibi for White House Farm massacre,” the “sensational claim” relates to … Continue reading “Timing Bamber”
January 20, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples calls out the PR stunt that is ‘Blue Monday’ for what it really is – banal baloney Today is supposedly ‘Blue Monday.’ It is the “day of the year when the UK is collectively feeling the lowest” according to the doom-mongering oracle of depression that is the Daily Mail and it is all … Continue reading “Blue Baloney”
January 18, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples condemns London4Europe for ludicrously publishing an article comparing Brexit to the “treatment” of the Duchess of Sussex; the two are frankly mutually exclusive On Friday, London4Europe published a blog article by some named Sharon Leclercq-Spooner that was frankly one of the most ridiculous pieces of drivel I’ve ever read. In it, Leclerq-Spooner … Continue reading “MegExit Ain’t About Brexit”
January 17, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
This week Belgravia morphed into the scene of some rather dramatic motoring escapades reports Matthew Steeples (and this time it’s nothing to do with the BBC’s ‘The Capture’) Oh so genteel Belgravia is an area of London one would traditionally associate with dowager duchesses and ageing colonels. It is about to be brought to the … Continue reading “Bumper Bashing in Belgravia”
January 16, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples slams the campaign to raise £500,000 to make Big Ben ‘bong’ to market Brexit as ridiculous and irresponsible “Big Ben’s a clock. It chimes on the hour. So what?” sensibly remarked Adam Boulton on Sky News this morning. Meanwhile, elsewhere the devious lobbyist-not-a-journalist Isabel Oakeshott took to Twitter to moan that Downing … Continue reading “Bong Off”
January 12, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
Lady Hale shows humour in stating that she doesn’t like being called Brenda because she read about a woman of the same name “and she was an absolute bitch” “The Beyoncé of the legal world” that is The Right Honourable the Baroness Hale of Richmond DBE PC – better known as Lady Hale and born … Continue reading “Hero of the Hour – Baroness Hale”
January 6, 2020
by Matthew Steeples
That “they” has been named “word of the decade” about sums up how our use of language has sunk into the abyss The cringeworthy “[I’ve endured] a lifetime of being at war with my gender” singer Sam Smith – a “person” known for singing frankly the worst Bond movie theme known to man, Writing’s on … Continue reading “‘My’ Oh ‘They’”
December 31, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Jeremy Bamber and his legal team call on ITV to postpone screening their forthcoming drama series ‘White House Farm’ Just as Freddie Fox revealed he “decided against contacting the real-life Jeremy Bamber” and announced he’ll be “leaving it up to the audience to decide whether or not Bamber is guilty,” the convicted familial serial killer’s … Continue reading “A Whitewash over ‘White House Farm’?”
December 30, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
‘The Steeple Times’ urges readers to join the 180,000 people who’ve signed a petition demanding Iain Duncan Smith not be knighted When Iain Duncan Smith famously announced that “the quiet man is here to stay and he’s turning up the volume” at the Conservative Party conference in 2003, everybody rightly turned off. Now news … Continue reading “Revoke The Quiet Knight”
December 26, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Kylie Minogue cheerfully attempts to lure “Brexit-weary” Brits to Australia as part of an advertising campaign Australia may be sadly burning and its premier might have put his foot in the proverbial by shockingly heading off on holiday, but ‘Down Under’ they’re eternally cheerful it seems. With news that the pint-sized, pint-pulling pop star … Continue reading “Matesong”
December 24, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
‘The Steeple Times’ urges readers to support the International Fund for Animal Welfare this Christmas The Steeple Times has been honoured to partner with the International Fund for Animal Welfare in 2019 and hosted events with the charity at The Chelsea Corner and Granger & Co. in Chelsea during the year. Our picture of … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – Honouring Elephants”
December 20, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Author J. K. Rowling was right to support Maya Forstater and she should not be insulted for her perfectly factual tweet J. K. Rowling is never anything but forthright, but in coming to the defence of Maya Forstater – a woman who was sacked for a perfectly true tweet that sated “men cannot become women” … Continue reading “Hero of the Hour – J. K. Rowling”
December 14, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Now ex-MP for Kensington Emma Dent Coad’s rant in the Huffington Post shows her for what she truly is – nothing but bonkers On Friday, in the wake of her defeat in Kensington by 150 votes, royal hater and ex-Labour MP Emma Dent Coad wrote an opinion piece for the Huffington Post moaning about how … Continue reading “Lies, Lies and Damned Emma Dent Coad”
December 11, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Five highlights from the fallout of Boris Johnson’s attempt to “Get Brexit Done” ‘Mrs Piece of Toerag’ Nobody actually got to the bottom of who the woman who called ‘Bosie The Clown’ a “dirty piece of toerag,” but here was a woman who truly eclipsed the hearts of the nation. Brenda from Bristol and Gillian … Continue reading “Five of the Best – Moments from the 2019 General Election”
December 9, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Blathering bozo Boris Johnson proves himself as stupid as ever in being unable to answer a very simple question on Monday Appearing alongside the former Labour politician and birdbrain of Brexit Gisela Stuart – whom brazenly boasted “Boris and I shared a bus for four months” as she introduced him on Monday afternoon – Boris … Continue reading “Bosie’s Not Got The Foggiest”
by Matthew Steeples
Jeremy Bamber begins challenge against his conviction just as a TV series similar to that that generated renewed interest in the conviction of the Menendez brothers is about to be aired Jeremy Bamber may be innocent or he may be guilty. Now, alongside renewed interest in his case – not quite yet akin to that … Continue reading “Could Jeremy Bamber Actually Be Innocent?”
December 3, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
“Tough Brexit” supporter Felicity ‘Flicka’ Buchan shown to be exactly opposed to wholeheartedly remain supporting Kensington electorate; her questionable choice of ‘friends’ also is telling “Your issues are my issues” boldly claims Felicity ‘Call Me Flicka’ Buchan, the Conservative candidate for Kensington, in spite of the fact that she is saying “up yours” to the … Continue reading “Failing Flicka’s Freaky Friends”
December 1, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
That the paedophile Hubert Chesshyre has not had his fellowship to the Society of Antiquaries revoked is an utter outrage Hubert Chesshyre FSA FHS abused a male teenager in the 1990s, but – due to him supposedly having had a stroke and suffering from alleged dementia – he’s got away with his crimes. Spared … Continue reading “The Hideous Heraldry of Hubert”
November 26, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Lord Heseltine speaks great sense in urging lifelong Tories to back the Lib Dems and defrocked Conservative candidates Last night, David ‘Uncork The’ Gauke shared a photograph of himself on Twitter “backstage in Gerrards Cross” with Dominic Grieve, Anne Milton and Michael Heseltine. All four smiled, but what it showed is something else – here … Continue reading “Uncork The Real Conservatives”
November 22, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Footballer Jamal Blackman revealed as the “black man with dyed green hair” who falsely claimed to be the owner of James Stunt’s now burnt out Lamborghini When the Daily Mail’s Sam Greenhill reported that a “black man with dyed green hair” had stood next to a burning Lamborghini – registration ‘1 57UNT’ – in Kingswood, … Continue reading “A Not So Jolly Green Giant”
November 18, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Boris Johnson’s Wikipedia entry is something that must be seen Boris Johnson is known for many things. Most of them are less than appealing, but one of the funniest yet strangely little discussed matters is his most curious Wikipedia entry. On the page dedicated to our less than esteemed philandering Prime Minister there is … Continue reading “BoJo’s Wikipedia Weirdness”
November 16, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Roland Rudd’s departure from the People’s Vote campaign is to be celebrated; now it is time all remain supporters came together Roland Rudd proved himself to be nothing but self-serving and divisive as chairman of the People’s Vote campaign. News that he’s resigned is to be celebrated, but what now needs to happen is … Continue reading “Rod Off Roland”
November 13, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Completing his disgrace, rent boy loving ex-Labour MP Keith Vaz’s ‘On Your Side’ sign is finally removed from his constituency office On Monday, Karam Bharij, a member of the ‘P45 For Keith Vaz’ Facebook group, shared an image of two men taking down a sign – captioned ‘Keith Vaz – On Your Side’ – from … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – Vanishing Vaz”
November 11, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
In condemning wearing a poppy, the historian Dr. David Starkey has yet again shown himself to be nothing but a pompous ass Son of a cleaner and a washing machine factory foreman from Kendal (not that there is anything wrong with that in itself), Dr. David Starkey CBE is, without any good reason at all, … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – David Starkey”
November 10, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Emma Dent Coad MP shown to be insensitive and exposed as a pro-Brexit charlatan; we urge readers in Kensington to back the Liberal Democrats instead The Member of Parliament for Kensington, Emma Dent Coad, has a majority of just 20. Given an easy ride because her predecessor, the unctuous Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ Borwick, … Continue reading “Denting Dent Coad”
November 5, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
After the convicted paedophile Jonathan King endorsed Jeremy Corbyn last week, he’s gone on to condemn Brexit, laud ‘woman manhandler’ Mark Field and share all sorts of his other rather odd political views When the convicted paedophile Jonathan King’s support for a candidate in an election is making headlines, one knows the world is going … Continue reading “The Most Curious Jonathan King”
November 2, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Whinging couple who were taken off a flight for being disruptive and drunk rightly get their compensation cancelled “Boozed-up” engineer Paul Dempsey and his hairdresser partner Victoria Parker got taken off a BA flight from Naxos, Greece for getting smashed on wine and ouzo. In spite of admitting to being a “bit squiffy” (for … Continue reading “Wallies of the Week – Paul Dempsey and Victoria Parker”
October 29, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Boris Johnson, Mark Francois, Nigel Evans and Katie Hopkins yet again shown to be utter berks Today, a General Election will be announced. The date is yet to be confirmed, but given that the totally pointless and wasteful £100 million 31st October Brexit advertising campaign has been put on hold also, one has to ask: … Continue reading “Boris’ Ditch”
October 23, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Death, taxes and Boris Johnson find themselves united whilst the dust jacket of David Cameron’s ‘For The Record’ gets a pillorying edit In 1789, Benjamin Franklin wrote: “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes,” but now a witty reader has added something else. In a message to … Continue reading “All That’s Certain About Boris and Dave”
October 21, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
In calling the legendary Steve Bray an “anti-democratic plonker” obstinate Brexiteer Andrea Jenkyns MP shows herself as a total prat When asked to name countries that trade solely with the EU on WTO rules earlier this year, Tory Brexiteer and ERG member Andrea Jenkyns MP responded with an “um” and was unable to provide an … Continue reading “Moron of the Moment – Andrea Jenkyns MP”
October 16, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Booksellers and the public alike mock David Cameron’s ‘For The Record’ memoirs by placing it next to titles about failing and adding comments to its cover David Cameron called a referendum that was not needed and when, after barely putting in any effort, he didn’t win, he walked away. Now, after receiving a reported … Continue reading “Making a Cameron Of It”
October 11, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples slams Rescue Dogs Rock NYC for allowing the wife of the elephant slayer Eric Trump to host its fundraiser Rescue Dogs Rock NYC plainly doesn’t care about anything other than getting itself publicity and grandstanding with individuals that most frankly anyone decent would simply avoid. In allowing the wife of the sick … Continue reading “Rock Off”
October 7, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Anne Sacoolas should not be able to evade justice simply because she is married to a US diplomat; she should be brought back to Britain immediately argues Matthew Steeples American diplomat’s wife Anne Sacoolas (nee Goodwin), 42, crashed her car on the wrong side of the road at Park End, Croughton, Northamptonshire and killed a … Continue reading “Arrest Anne”
October 5, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
As “kinky ex MP” and lover of canes Harvey Proctor storms out of a BBC interview, he again shows himself as nothing but an arrogant, self-entitled prick Harvey Proctor is a bit like the cat that ate the canary. This self-satisfied wazzock may have been vindicated over the false allegations made by Carl Beech, but … Continue reading “Hideous ‘Headmaster Harvey’”
October 3, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Lady Borwick makes a fool of herself on Sky News yet again and shows her lack of knowledge of historical sequence; meanwhile her son finds himself embroiled in the Jennifer Arcuri-Boris Johnson scandal “They seek her here, they seek her there, Sky News seeks her everywhere” seems to be applicable to Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Lady Borwick”
September 26, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
“I don’t hack, I just have a great rack” rent-a-gob Madeleine Grant’s attack on Gina Miller is uncalled for and below the standard of what one expects from ‘The Telegraph’ The Telegraph’s Madeleine Grant uses the nickname ‘Madz’ on Twitter and that moniker definitely reflects her acerbic personality. Aside from bizarrely describing herself as … Continue reading “Moron of the Moment – Madeleine Grant”
September 21, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
‘Daily Mail’ columnist Amanda Platell proves herself to be nothing but a bombastic bigot with a mouth the size of Australia and a brain the size of a pea Gobby Aussie hack Amanda Platell just can’t help but upset people. This former spinner for William Hague has got ever worse since the Daily Mail gave … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Amanda Platell”
September 20, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Thug who yelled “to the gallows” at Gina Miller needs to be named and shamed Yesterday a mouse-not-a-man shouted “to the gallows” and “build a gallows” at Gina Miller as she left the Supreme Court. Accompanied by a Burberry clad chav-like woman who was yelling: “Go f**king hang yourself,” this turd-like specimen subsequently … Continue reading “Name & Shame – Mr. Gallows”
September 18, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Tedious twerps Sir Christopher and Baroness Meyer take to Twitter to berate those who dare criticise deviant liar Boris Johnson Mr. “I wasn’t nice to everyone” Sir Christopher Meyer KCMG was always pompous. His “Chanel-clad” wife always loved a good old charity knees up. Together they morphed into a monstrosity of epic arrogance and together … Continue reading “Morons of the Moment – Sir Christopher and Baroness Meyer”
September 14, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Fake news creator Isabel Oakeshott dresses “inappropriately” for a book launch and then stands next to the lapdance loving MP John Whittingdale; what a bummer they didn’t get a room Current squeeze of the chlorinated chicken and yellow discount sticker loving Brexiteer Richard Tice MEP Isabel Oakeshott was snapped this week by an eagle eyed … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – Oakeshott Bums”
September 13, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
As Michael Morpurgo condemns Britain as “nasty,” Matthew Steeples reports from the launch of Alexander Lebedev’s ‘Hunt the Banker’ where the author condemns Brexit also The British, a people once thought of for fair play and decency, have morphed into something “nasty” according to the renowned author Michael Morpurgo. In an interview published today … Continue reading “The Unkind Kingdom”
September 12, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
As it is confirmed Boris Johnson lied to the Queen about prorogation of Parliament, it is time for this pathological liar to just go People used to refer to Tony Blair as ‘B.Liar’ but now that moniker can be given to Boris Johnson also. Johnson has lied to his wives, he’s lied to his … Continue reading “Liar Boris”
September 10, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
‘Lady Macbeth’ Theresa May’s resignation honour list is symbolic; it is symbolic of cronyism and the toxicity of those she associated with Shahmir Sanni claims not to care that Theresa May gave the man that outed him a peerage. Late last night, he tweeted about how Stephen Parkinson, his ex-lover and SPAD to May, existed … Continue reading “It’s Not Cricket”
September 5, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
In spite of her ill health, Betty Boothroyd’s intervention is illustrative that it is not just the young that don’t want Brexit Belgravia resident The Rt. Hon. Baroness Boothroyd OM, PC, Hon. FSLL – better known simply as Betty Boothroyd – is a formidable lady of stature. Known to be a firm but fair speaker … Continue reading “Bang On Betty”
September 4, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
As the Conservative Party lurches to become “The Brexit Party (Rebadged)” we salute the twenty-one decent MPs who stood up to Boris Johnson Moderate Conservatism died last night when Boris Johnson childishly chucked out twenty-one MPs who did the right thing and rebelled against the runaway lunacy he was trying to impose on Parliament. … Continue reading “The Magic Twenty-One”
August 30, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Gina Miller creates a double act by pairing up with former Prime Minister Sir John Major to stop Boris Johnson proroguing Parliament Yet again Gina Miller has pulled it off. Not only did she yesterday get the High Court to accept that her legal case needed to proceed, but today she slam dunked it and … Continue reading “The John & Gina Show”
August 28, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Brexiteer Richard Tice MEP spotted buying discounted salmon at Waitrose Belgravia; What next? Chlorinated American chicken? ‘Celebrity Waitrose’ in Belgravia is somewhere you often see the regal royal Lady Helen Taylor casually pushing a shopping cart without an air or a grace. You might also find John Cleese perusing the aisles and sadly even the … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – Stickered Tice”
August 23, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Liverpudlian Esther McVey MP offends the city of her birth by supporting ‘The Sun’ In Liverpool The Sun is banned. In this part of Britain the legacy of how that paper covered the Hillsborough disaster and the death of 96 people is still raw. Esther McVey MP, born in Liverpool in October 1967, however, … Continue reading “Name & Shame – The Liar Bird”
August 18, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
That Sarah, Duchess of York posed for pictures with a man accused of sexual offences at a time when her ex-husband’s links to dead padeophile Jeffrey Epstein are under scrutiny is shocking; that she leaves them on Instagram only further emphasises her stupidity Allegedly summoned to Balmoral last week for a “bollocking” alongside her plainly … Continue reading “The Duchess of Dimness”
August 14, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
New UKIP leader Dick Braine is deservedly mocked for his unfortunate name, but the reality is that he’s deranged and delusional There are people with unfortunate names – an example being a petrol station manager named Dick Assman (nickname: ‘Assman the Gasman’) – and then there’s Dick Braine. Software developer and photographer turned politician … Continue reading “Moron of the Moment – Dick Braine”
August 11, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Pavement pest Ambar Zohra just cannot help herself; that she encourages people to threaten others proves how ghastly this little madam truly is Ambar Zohra got herself into trouble by smashing into a pensioner in Walton Street, Chelsea on a mobile weapon known as a ‘pavement scooter.’ This foul-mouthed wench then launched into a tirade … Continue reading “Ambar’s Antics”
August 8, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Churchill’s grandson Sir Nicholas Soames shares wise words just as ‘The Telegraph ’bizarrely tips Ken Clarke as Britain’s next Prime Minister It sadly won’t likely happen, but Sir Nicholas Soames ought to be our next Prime Minister. Weirdly, this morning, the once great but now the deranged and increasingly right leaning The Telegraph suggested: … Continue reading “Hero of the Hour – Sir Nicholas Soames MP”
August 6, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Conservative RBKC councillor Matthew Palmer exposed as a rotter and hypocrite; he’s even caught campaigning for the Brexit Party A tubby Tory councillor named Matthew Palmer is best known for having mouthed: “Do not let them in” on camera when Grenfell Tower protestors tried to enter Kensington Town Hall in July 2017. This insensitive berk … Continue reading “A Royal Borough Rotter – Councillor Matthew Palmer”
August 3, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
The Steeple Times urges readers to support the crowdfunding campaign to help the courageous journalist Carole Cadwalladr see off the nasty piece of work that is Arron Banks This morning, Nigel Farage – after his Brexit Party’s rather pathetic performance in Brecon & Radnorshire on Thursday – was featured in an article in the Daily … Continue reading “Crowdfunding Carole”
August 1, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Restraint order against businessman James Stunt lifted The media – well, the Daily Mail and The Sun – enthusiastically and somewhat obsessively reported news of a restraint order having being issued against James Stunt. Unsurprisingly, given their bias against this businessman, they have not, however, seen fit to remark on the fact that this … Continue reading “EXCLUSIVE – Unrestrained Stunt”
July 30, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Evil poachers who killed Poko the elephant have been caught and now face up to seven years in prison Poko, one of four inseparable members of the bachelor herd of elephants in Kasangu National Park in Malawi, was recently massacred by poachers, but the good news is that the two perpetrators have now be caught … Continue reading “Justice for Poko”
July 27, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Stand-on scooters, whether manual or electric, should be banned; they are nothing but moving deathtraps Stand-on scooters – whether electric or otherwise – should be banned. These devices are utter menaces in public spaces and many now rightly question whether they are safe in any area at all. Rightly this week, in the wake … Continue reading “Perish The Pavement Pests”
July 24, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
March for Change attendees from Devon send a clear message to new Prime Minister Boris Johnson about his lies about kippers Snapped at last Saturday’s March for Change, a couple attending as part of the Devon for Europe grouping decided to bring along a packaged kipper as part of the placard they carried. The … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – Kippered Boris”
July 21, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Chelsea businesses take to naming and shaming local thieves Two Chelsea businesses sick of thievery in and around their premises have taken the decision to warn others and shame those that have targeted them. In Walton Street, the owners of the charming interiors store Percy Bass display a wall with pictures of local thieves caught … Continue reading “Caught On Camera In Chelsea”
July 2, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
That a man was able to stowaway in the landing gear of a plane in Nairobi and then fall from it into a Clapham garden is tragic; it highlights airline security is pathetic News last night that the body of a man fell from the landing gear of a Kenya Airways plane smashed into the … Continue reading “Fallen Security”
June 19, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
A judge with a sense of humour allowed a class A drug user to walk free on the basis he shouldn’t suffer any more than Michael GoveGetting Off Like Gove – Judge lets off drug user because of Michael Gove Ann Widdecombe will no doubt have spluttered her Kellogg’s Corn Flakes this morning when she … Continue reading “Getting Off Like Gove”
June 16, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Sir Max Hastings perfectly sums up the car crash of a man that is Boris Johnson; elsewhere the public say they wouldn’t buy a used car from the wannabe Conservative leader In a quote widely shared on social media, the former editor of the Daily Telegraph, Sir Max Hastings, completely slaughtered his former employee Boris … Continue reading “Bin Boris”
June 11, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
‘Stop Brexit’ Steve Bray amusingly mocks Michael Gove’s bid to become leader of the Conservative Party; ‘Brexit’ is named ‘Children’s Year of the Word’ With the especially angry columnist Melanie Philips unsurprisingly rounding on Michael Gove over his cocaine taking and The Times Diary mocking him over his choice of the notorious binger on such … Continue reading “Picture of the Week – A Coked Contest”
June 3, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
The intervention of Sir Christopher Meyer on any issue is anything but welcome; his views on Donald Trump are plainly irrelevant Sir Christopher Meyer, as is also the case with his odious “Chanel clad” wife Baroness Meyer (a woman who stupidly and completely incorrectly recently predicted Theresa May would remain in office “for years yet”), … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Sir Christopher Meyer”
May 31, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Property prices significantly down in Chelsea whilst ‘forced sales’ increase With news that house prices have fallen 19% in the Royal Borough since 2014 comes yet more proof that Brexit has taken its toll on the wealthiest area of London. Aside from that uncertainty, the number of ‘forced sales’ is increasing in the are … Continue reading “Down in Chelsea”
May 23, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
The Steeple Times echoes the Evening Standard and Gina Miller’s Remain United and urges voters to back the Liberal Democrats today “We wish them well” said former Tory chancellor George Osborne’s Evening Standard of the Liberal Democrats prospects in the European Parliamentary Elections yesterday. Elsewhere, Gina Miller’s Remain United has urged those able to … Continue reading “We Wish Them Well (Too)”
May 21, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
As Lord Heseltine has the Conservative whip suspended, Tory MP Sir Nicholas Soames speaks utter sense in calling the action “bovine” Prior to having the Conservative whip last night, Lord Heseltine stated: “[If I do lose the whip] the sun will come up tomorrow morning and I will have reserved my personal integrity.” Adding … Continue reading “Bovine Theresa vs. Triumphant Tarzan”
May 18, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
‘Man of the Elite’ Nigel Farage yet again shown in his true colours; that the Brexit Party leader has lived in luxury in Chelsea is not ‘new news’ – we exposed such back in 2017 Whilst Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party will sadly likely trounce all others in the forthcoming European Elections, ‘news’ that he’s been … Continue reading “The Fallacy of Farage”
May 15, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Wannabe Conservative leader James Brokenshire makes a prat of himself by allowing his wife to bleat on about her four ovens James Brokenshire MP is the talk of kitchens throughout the land. With revelations that he has not one but two double ovens (some claim he might even have four), this personally ambitious Tory politician … Continue reading “Moron of the Moment – James Brokenshire MP”
May 8, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Guardsman Mathew Talbot shall be remembered for his dedication in his efforts to stop the illegal wildlife trade “Proud Brummie” Mathew Talbot of the 1st Battalion, Coldstream Guards was someone who was described as being “exceptionally kind and friendly.” This 22-year old was also referred to as being “devoted, hugely proud of his work … Continue reading “Hero of the Hour – The late Mathew Talbot”
May 4, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
As James Stunt attempts to meet his detractors and face a polygraph is hijacked, yet again he proves these people cowards James Stunt’s YouTube videos may go on too long in terms of their lengths for the short-attention span of millennials, but in them he is nothing but honest and direct. Here is someone who … Continue reading “Straightforward Stunt”
by Matthew Steeples
That Tony Robinson has quit Labour and branded its leadership “sh*t’ is proof that that party has sunk to a new low “Baldrick, your head is as empty as a eunuch’s underpants” said Blackadder and now, with news that Tony Robinson has quit Labour and cited Jeremy Corbyn as a “complete sh*t,” comes confirmation of … Continue reading ““I have a plan, sir””
May 3, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
That self-serving racist bigot Tommy Robinson has been attacked with milkshakes twice this week serves as poetic justice Tommy Robinson – real name Stephen Yaxley-Lennon and also known as Paul Harris, Wayne King, Stephen Lennon and Andrew McMaster – likes all things milk white. He doesn’t like colour and that he was attacked with milkshakes … Continue reading “Tantrum Tommy”
May 2, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Oligarch’s wife Lubov Chernukhin proves herself to be the most dimwitted person on the planet in paying £135,000 for dinner with the worst Prime Minister in history Lubov Chernukhin must be the most bird brained woman on the planet. That this wife of the controversial Russian oligarch Vladimir Chernukhin – a man who referred to … Continue reading “Moron of the Moment – Lubov Chernukhin”
April 28, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Far right bigot Carl Benjamin simply shows UKIP in its true colours; he has and his kind are the ones that should be banished from Britain UKIP MEP candidate Carl Benjamin (AKA ‘Sargon of Akkad’) finds racism “funny” and he likes to call disabled people “retards.” This vile, potty-mouthed specimen refers to Asian women as … Continue reading “Moron of the Moment – Carl Benjamin”
April 26, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Has the ‘F-word’ become acceptable or is it still taboo to utter it? “I’m gonna say one thing: Fuck Trump… It’s no longer down with Trump, it’s fuck Trump!” announced Robert De Niro at the 72nd Tony Awards in June 2018. He received a standing ovation and elsewhere one of the most memorable lines of … Continue reading “Analysing the F-Word”
April 25, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
The only candidate ‘The Steeple Times’ can enthusiastically endorse in the European elections is Lord Buckethead Whilst we wish ChangeUK – The Independent Group all the best, the only candidate The Steeple Times will be endorsing wholeheartedly in the forthcoming European elections is Lord Buckethead – if, indeed, this all-round genius actually decides to run. … Continue reading “Backing Buckethead”
April 24, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Ann Widdecombe’s decision to become a candidate for the Brexit Party yet again proves her simply to be nothing but nasty The Right Honourable Ann Noreen Widdecombe PC, DSG is a woman who is just about anti everything. She is anti-abortion, anti-drugs, anti-foxhunting, anti-LGBT rights and anti-EU. Now, in announcing she’ll be standing for Nigel … Continue reading “Wally of the Week – Ann Widdecombe”
April 20, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
‘Brexiting’ has finally been defined (and no it’s not just about the relationship between Britain and the European Union) In a post shared recently on his Instagram feed, actor Jake Silbermann provided what could be the most useful definition of ‘Brexiting.’ It read as follows: BREXITING (verb) /brekziting/ Meaning: Telling everyone at … Continue reading “Word of the Week – Brexiting”
April 15, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Far right Quran burning prat Frankie Rufolo has to be the least person worthy of election in Britain A 19-year-old spotty brat named Frankie Ruffolo made headlines in Devon last week after an incident in a Wetherspoon owned pub. An “atheist activist” who “identifies as LGBT” and likes to hang out with the birdbrained fruit … Continue reading “Moron of the Moment – Frankie Rufolo”
April 13, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Could wildcard millennial Pete Buttigieg become America’s first gay President? The son of a Maltese immigrant to America, openly gay and an Afghanistan war veteran Pete Buttigieg (pronounced: “boot-edge-edge”) is someone whose name is likely unfamiliar. This 37-year-old contemporary of Mark Zuckerberg at Harvard was also a Rhodes scholar at Pembroke College, Oxford and … Continue reading “America’s First Gay President?”
April 11, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Loathsome hypocrite Julian Assange’s arrest comes seven years too late but is an almighty relief for the British justice system This morning officers from the Metropolitan Police Service finally arrested the WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. Ending this ratbag’s seven years holed up in the Embassy of Ecuador in London, the Metropolitan Police issued a … Continue reading “The Rat is Caged”
April 9, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Why are the Taxpayers’ Alliance given airtime in the British media when they are not the voice of the taxpayer but instead a lobbying operation for a bunch of rich, shady foreigners? This morning Chloe Westley of the Taxpayers’ Alliance refused to declare how the operation she works for is funded on Sky News. … Continue reading “A Taxing Question”
April 7, 2019
by Matthew Steeples
Andrea Leadsom’s “pizza club” is indicative of how low the British political classes have stooped Leader of the House Andrea ‘Loathsome’ Leadsom MP appeared on The Andrew Marr Show this morning. In conversation, this strange woman – whose outfit choices recently have included a blazer resembling something that the nonce Stuart Hall would even have … Continue reading “The Pizza Prat – Andrea Leadsom”
April 4, 2019
April 2, 2019
March 31, 2019
March 27, 2019
