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Tossed Out Tommy

News that Tommy Robinson has become a ‘refugee’ is the ultimate in irony.

Burley to Barnard Castle

Kay Burley makes a mockery of Dominic Cummings on Twitter.

Shopping the McCann Media Mess

The latest developments in the Madeleine McCann case have been spun to a media willing to believe utterly preposterous stories suggests Matthew Steeples.

Maxwell’s Trump Card

That Donald Trump is “wishing Ghislaine Maxwell well” speaks volumes.

Bring Back The Beaver!

As it is revealed that red kite numbers in the UK have risen from just 13 in 1990 to 2,000 today, we join those backing the reintroduction of the beaver and the white stork to Britain.

Moron of the Moment – Owen Jones

Owen Jones has yet again proven himself to be nothing but a self-indulgent berk in banging on about ‘cancel culture’ and the right ‘playing the victim’ card.

Pooling Barrymore

As outdoor swimming pools reopened, Michael Barrymore trended on social media; it is time thus to remind the disgraced entertainer to reveal the truth about what happened on the night of the 31st March 2001.

Berkoff on Bears & Barbarians

Acclaimed actor, writer and producer Steven Berkoff responds to an article in ‘The Times’ featuring an image of a sub-human barbarian with a polar bear he’d mercilessly slayed.

A Security Lobotomy at The Botanist

‘The Steeple Times’ reports on anything but a ‘Super Saturday’ at The Botanist on Sloane Square; we share here imagery and a video of a thieving woman whom must be caught.

Wally of the Week – Disgraceful Dimwit Darren Grimes

As manipulated millennial Darren Grimes gets himself into yet another racism storm with the help of his beloved bigot Dr David Starkey, one has to ask: “Who is this cretin’s puppet master?”

Hero of the Hour – Lenin Gutierrez

After standing up to a woman named Amber Lynn Gilles who berated him whilst doing his job, Starbucks barista Lenin Gutierrez is going to use the unexpected donation ‘tips’ he received to help others.

Meghan Feet First

Previously unseen footage of the then Meghan Markle’s engagement interview shows how “weird” and “controlling” this meddling minx truly is.

A Priced Down Penthouse

After a ritzy New York penthouse in the Walker Building at 212 West 18th Street, New York goes into contract for a sum 64% lower than it sold for in 2014 during a government orchestrated fire sale, the building’s board go crackers.

Boris Bashed!

Steve ‘Stop Brexit’ Bray captures Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s Jaguar limousine getting rear-ended by his own security Range Rover in Parliament Square.

Moron of the Moment – Julia Hartley-Brewer

In her crass comments about a right-wing thug who relieved himself by the memorial to PC Keith Palmer, the constable murdered in the 2017 Westminster attack, Julia Hartley-Brewer simply made a prat of her stupid self.

Elevating Count Binface

Poll of 500 Twitter users backs the erection of a statue in honour of Count Binface (formerly known as Lord Buckethead).

Quote of the Week – Wilde Morality

Journalist and author Petronella Wyatt is spot on in quoting Oscar Wilde on morality in art; “books are either well written or badly written,” they are not “moral or immoral.”

Encouragement for Bamber

In spite of a judge rejecting evidence disclosure, Jeremy Bamber’s case now looks more likely to be reviewed by the Criminal Cases Review Commission.

The Murky McCann Milieu

Former lead investigator in Madeleine McCann case predicted latest development involving German paedophile in April 2019; Goncalo Amaral suggested the man would be made a “scapegoat” by Scotland Yard.

Wigan Wanderer Whacked Out

Woman from Wigan named Deborah Barlow wins latest round in the long-running case of ‘walk in a park ruined by exposed tree root’ at the Court of Appeal.

Justice for James Scurlock

Power of social media proven after senseless killing of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a controversial bar owner named Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.

Arcuri Attacks App

Boris Johnson’s alleged ex-mistress Jennifer Arcuri has slammed the NHS coronavirus tracking app and suggested: “There is no way I would download that!” Separately, it’s claimed she’s going on ‘Hunted’ on Channel 4.

Desmond Dropped

Ex-Daily Express owner Richard Desmond’s plans for a 1,500 apartment complex kicked out as Tory housing minister Robert Jenrick MP is shown to have “unlawfully approved” the proposed scheme.

Moron of the Moment – Darren Grimes

In threatening respected writer Peter Jukes with legal action, Darren Grimes yet again shows himself as nothing but a petulant pillock.

Could Mark Alexander be Innocent?

With humanitarian Terry Waite questioning the safety of the conviction of Mark Alexander for murdering his conman father Samuel, is it time that this curious case was reviewed?

A Box Office Balls-up

Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea council’s decision to approve replacement for Kensington Odeon with a 63% smaller cinema is deservedly condemned as a “box office balls-up.”

Smiling Churchill and Scowling Edward

Rare photograph of Winston Churchill dining with Edward VIII to be sold as part of a sale on the eve of the 80th anniversary of him becoming Prime Minister. In a reversal of roles, it is the royal (nicknamed ‘Our Smiling Prince’) who is scowling whilst the future Prime Minister (nicknamed ‘Our Scowling PM’) smiles.

Heroine of the Hour – Anne Diamond

Heroine of the Hour – Anne Diamond on Duchess of Sussex book – Anne Diamond is right to call out the Duchess of Sussex’s mint-making collaboration with Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand’s ‘Finding Freedom’ as annoying, daft and delusional.

Dopey Derbyshire Dunces

Derbyshire Police yet again show themselves inept at the art of public relations in tweeting about trying to locate a man who...

Wally of the Week – Nadine Dorries

Tory twerp and Twitter twaddler ‘Mad Nad’ Nadine Dorries MP deserves to be sacked (if she doesn’t first resign) after disgracefully smearing...

Disciplining BoJo

Actor Tony Discipline amusingly tears up Boris Johnson’s utterly confusing ‘Stay Alert’ coronavirus lockdown revision statement Tony Discipline – best known...

Canary Claims Corbyn Still Hasn’t Croaked

That ‘The Canary’ is still lauding Jeremy Corbyn as “the best Prime Minister we never had” about sums up that sorry shower...

Plastered Meyer

Swivel-eyed berk Sir Christopher Meyer appears on Sky News in a plastered condition; his “Chanel-clad” pointy-fingered wife was, however, nowhere to be...

Wally of the Week – The Duchess of Sussex

In throwing out major elements of her argument against Associated Newspapers yesterday, the Duchess of Sussex’s defeat marked not just a battle...

Bamber Bats Back

Jeremy Bamber’s legal team go to the high court after it emerges that the CPS may have handed crucial evidence – not...

Horrified of Haddenham Takes a Spin

‘Horrified of Haddenham’ Garry May gets taken to the cleaners – and then quite literally put through the launderette’s washing machine

Three of the Best – Things to Get You Through Lockdown

Matthew Steeples highlights three things that are keeping him going through coronavirus lockdown living (aside from not running out of gin)

Horrified of Haddenham

Irrational ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ type correspondence is on the increase in national newspapers during the coronavirus lockdown; ‘Horrified of Haddenham’ cash-coronavirus...

Moron of the Moment – Eamonn Holmes

Multi-millionaire 5G conspiracy theorist Eamonn Holmes deserves condemnation for inviting a scion to a billion pound fortune on to ‘This Morning’ to...

Sod Off Branson

In a rare moment of sanity, Katie Hopkins entirely rightly sums up the public’s attitude to the reprehensible attempt by job killer...

Another Bamber Bungle

Further questions about the conduct of Essex Police raised as it is revealed they destroyed the bible, nightclothes and pillows that were...

A Respite for NHS Workers in SW7

Luxurious South Kensington apartment offered to NHS workers for 75% less than it generally rents for during the coronavirus crisis by film...

Hero of the Hour – Terry Waite

Former hostage Terry Waite wisely tells the nation to keep their dignity, structure their day, become creative and be grateful during the...

Angry About Otters

Wiltshire manor house owner proves himself a fine example of an ‘angry person in a local newspaper’ in ranting about otters

Strike It Corona

As he plays ‘Strike It Lucky’ on Instagram during the coronavirus lockdown, we ask: “Is there nothing that Michael Barrymore won’t do...

Wally of the Week – Sir Christopher Meyer

Pompous pillock Sir Christopher Meyer sticks his oar in over coronavirus and makes a most bigoted suggestion as to its origin in...

Heroine of the Hour – Dame Vera Lynn

Forces sweetheart Dame Vera Lynn shares her thoughts on coronavirus and urges the public to “pull together” Fresh from having beaten...

Bamber Reflects

Jeremy Bamber slams ITV’s ‘White House Farm’ drama as “nonsense” and thanks those who’ve shared “positive news” about his case In...