Monday, September 18, 2023
OPULENCE & SPLENDOUR

No. 1, The Thames – Kent Gun Tower For Sale For Sum 92% Lower Than In 2020

Derelict gun tower on the Kent coast for sale for just £150,000 after it failed to sell previously for £1.9 million.
MOVERS & SHAKERS

‘Comeback King’ Kevin Spacey – Actor Seeks To “Leave The Nonsense Behind”

As Kevin Spacey’s eccentric ‘friend’ Geoffrey Mark claims the “exonerated” actor will now “leave the nonsense behind” and begin his comeback, we remind of his friendships with ‘curious sorts’ including Prince Andrew, Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell and Harvey Weinstein.
MOVERS & SHAKERS

Poundland Pinching Pest Out – Sex Pest Chris Pincher Resigns As An MP

As the grubby groper Chris Pincher resigns as an MP, this sex pest bizarrely pens a crass column in which he laments times passed when “life was to be lived and not loathed.”
EDITORIAL

Summer Silly Season Stories 2023 – ‘The Steeple Times’ Is Back

Matthew Steeples highlights the stories he’s been following during the ‘silly season’ summer of 2023 – amongst them matters Ghislaine Maxwell and Rudy Giuliani and podcasts about ‘true crime’ as a genre.

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EDITORIAL

Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

EDITORIAL

Summer Silly Season Stories 2023 – ‘The Steeple Times’ Is Back

Matthew Steeples highlights the stories he’s been following during the ‘silly season’ summer of 2023 – amongst them matters Ghislaine Maxwell and Rudy Giuliani and podcasts about ‘true crime’ as a genre.
Read more
EDITORIAL

Matthew Steeples: Uncensored

Premiering tonight at 9pm tonight, Matthew Steeples will launch his ‘Uncensored’ chitter-chatter show on YouTube.
Read more
EDITORIAL

‘This Morning’ Must End – Enough Was Enough; Car Crash Interview With Michael Barrymore

After ratbag Michael Barrymore’s cringeworthily car-crash interview on ‘This Morning’ with dozy Josie Gibson, complaints are unsurprisingly made to Ofcom and in a Change.org petition; it is time for this outdated show simply to be cancelled.
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THE ROLL CALL

A list of influence

OBSERVERS

PERSONALITIES

CREATIVES

BUSINESS

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EDITORIAL

Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

Summer Silly Season Stories 2023 – ‘The Steeple Times’ Is Back

Matthew Steeples highlights the stories he’s been following during the ‘silly season’ summer of 2023 – amongst them matters Ghislaine Maxwell and Rudy Giuliani and podcasts about ‘true crime’ as a genre.
Read more

Matthew Steeples: Uncensored

Premiering tonight at 9pm tonight, Matthew Steeples will launch his ‘Uncensored’ chitter-chatter show on YouTube.
Read more

‘This Morning’ Must End – Enough Was Enough; Car Crash Interview With Michael Barrymore

After ratbag Michael Barrymore’s cringeworthily car-crash interview on ‘This Morning’ with dozy Josie Gibson, complaints are unsurprisingly made to Ofcom and in a Change.org petition; it is time for this outdated show simply to be cancelled.
Read more

OPULENCE & SPLENDOUR

Luxury and the arts

No. 1, The Thames – Kent Gun Tower For Sale For Sum 92% Lower Than In 2020

Derelict gun tower on the Kent coast for sale for just £150,000 after it failed to sell previously for £1.9 million.
Read more

Pushed-Up Price For Pushy Pad – Former Home Of Prince & Princess Michael Of Kent Goes On Sale For 91% More Than It Sold...

Former Gloucestershire home of Prince and Princess ‘Pushy’ Michael of Kent goes on the market for £11 million; it last sold to Labour peer Lord Drayson for £5.75 million in 2006.
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Bargain Basement Bernie – Price Of Bernie Ecclestone’s £30m Gin Palace Yacht ‘Petara II’ Slashed To ‘Just’ £16m

As he faces a £400 million fraud trial, coffin dodging skinflint Bernie Ecclestone has slashed the price of one his gin palaces, Petara; the 190-foot yacht is now on sale for the bargain basement price of ‘just’ £16 million.
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THE ROLL CALL

A ranked assembly of individuals of note along with details of their achievements and quirks

Julian Sessé, ‘The Belgravia Butler’ (1906 – 1970, murdered by meat cleaver)

Belgian born butler Julian Sessé was said to be a “kind and generous man;” devoted to his employer Lord Bernstein, he was slayed with a meat cleaver in a basement in Belgravia on a snowy December evening in 1970.

Malin Baker Bogue (AKA Lord Bailey’s ‘Red Dress’ Partygate Pisshead)

Tory twerp Malin Baker Bogue will go down in history for being Partygate’s pisshead in a red dress; a wastrel woman filmed dancing to The Pogues as the rest of Britain followed the rules of COVID lockdown 2.0 in 2020.

Big Zuu (Birth Name – Zuhair Hassan)

A rapper and grime MC turned TV star of ‘Big Zuu’s Big Eats,’ Zuhair Hassan is an example of a youngster with infectious positivity and great talent. A modern-day Keith Floyd in the making.

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The snakes and ladders of society

‘Comeback King’ Kevin Spacey – Actor Seeks To “Leave The Nonsense Behind”

As Kevin Spacey’s eccentric ‘friend’ Geoffrey Mark claims the “exonerated” actor will now “leave the nonsense behind” and begin his comeback, we remind of his friendships with ‘curious sorts’ including Prince Andrew, Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell and Harvey Weinstein.

Poundland Pinching Pest Out – Sex Pest Chris Pincher Resigns As An MP

As the grubby groper Chris Pincher resigns as an MP, this sex pest bizarrely pens a crass column in which he laments times passed when “life was to be lived and not loathed.”

The Jim & Dan Show Up – Toerags Dan Wootton & Jim Davidson

In allowing Jim Davidson and Dan Wootton to show up together, all GB News achieves is to prove that their joke of a channel is beyond the pale.
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TIPPLE & FARE

Food, drink and fine dining

The Pizza Express Princes – Shouldn’t Pizza Express Be Given A Royal Warrant After Being Mentioned In Legal Matters Concerning Both Prince Andrew &...

As Prince Harry brings Pizza Express up in legal proceedings against Mirror Group Newspapers, shouldn’t the chain be given a royal warrant given Prince Andrew used it as an alibi also?

Gobby Monroe v Gobby Anderson– What Came Next In Promised Libel Action?

A year-to-the-day on Matthew Steeples asks: “Whatever became of the libel suit of gobby Jack Monroe v gobby Lee Anderson MP?”

Please, God No… ‘The Tig’ To Be Revived By ‘HighGella Lawson’ Wannabe Meghan Markle

As the Duchess of Sussex gets busy with ‘lemon olive oil cake’ for a new cookery book and revives ‘The Tig’ also, one is left wondering if she’ll collaborate with Elizabeth Arden and promote ‘todger cream’ as well.

THE SPORTING LIFE

From playing the field to buying a team

Do NOT Parole Pistorius – Evil Oscar Pistorius Does NOT Deserve To Be Freed

Matthew Steeples suggests that the murdering monster Oscar Pistorius should NOT be released on parole; he is completely lacking in remorse and clearly his continuing arrogance shows he has not yet been rehabilitated.

Five Famous British Poker Players – The Stories Of Poker Hand Success

David Lennox shares the stories of five famous British poker players and what makes them good at their game.

Runners & Riders – The Cheltenham Festival 2023, Day 4, ‘Gold Cup Day’

‘The Steeple Times’ examines the tipsters’ selections and offers options for ‘Gold Cup Day’ at the Cheltenham Festival 2023 including a 20/1 outsider owned by Sir Alex Ferguson and a 50/1 wildcard.

THE FOG

The economy, politics and current affairs

Monster of the Moment 2023 – Twittering Troll Alex Belfield

As former BBC host Alex Belfield is forced to apologise to the BBC host Jeremy Vine, we call out this reprehensible ratbag for his raging rant against the victim of rape-murder at the home of Michael Barrymore, Stuart Lubbock.

Moron of the Moment 2023 – Twittering Titanic Twerp Ash Sarkar

In mocking the five people who’ve tragically died in the Titanic submersible tragedy, Jeremy Corbyn supporting Commie Ash Sarkar simply shows herself to be a braindead berk.

Media Matters Mark Alexander – High Court Victory For Sir Terry Waite Supported Prisoner

As humanitarian hero Terry Waite is knighted, a prisoner he has campaigned in support of, Mark Alexander, finally gets good news with a landmark judgment at the High Court.

BRAINSTORM

The comings and goings of the entrepreneurial classes

Epstein Victim Payouts Top £384m – JP Morgan Chase Finally Settle Over Enabling Evil Jeffrey Epstein

As the total payout in compensation to circa 150 known ‘victims’ of Jeffrey Epstein tops £384 million after JP Morgan Chase stummed up an astonishing £227 million settlement this week, isn’t it time that some of his clearly many associates (other than the grubby groper Ghislaine Maxwell) were finally brought to justice?

Is It Time-Up For ‘The Telegraph’ & Shutdown At ‘The Spectator’?

Matthew Steeples asks: “Can ‘The Telegraph’ and ‘The Spectator’ survive as the Barclays are forced out and new media replaces the printed press?”

With Mates Like Mandy… More Meetings Between Ponzi Scheming Paedo Jeffrey Epstein & ‘Prince Of Darkness’ Peter Mandelson Revealed

As new evidence of meetings between Lord Mandelson and Jeffrey Epstein after the latter got out of the clink emerges, one is left asking: “What continued to attract ‘Mandy’ to a known billionaire sex offender?”

THE WIRE

Science, technology and gadgets

Ferrari Tastes On A Reliant Robin Budget

Perfect car for a wannabe Del Boy offered at auction; ideal for those with “Ferrari tastes on a Robin Reliant budget;” talk about a “cushty” makeover of a 1990 three-wheeler.

A Tepid Twitter Storm – If You Don’t Like Twitter, You Have The Right To Leave

Matthew Steeples suggests those getting overexcited about Twitter should just get over their ever-so-sanctimonious selves; at a time of strife and strikes, the tepid Twitterati do have the right to leave.

Off With His Head!

As Carrie Johnson continues to be nicknamed ‘Carrie Antoinette,’ she could buy a Napoleonic bone model of a guillotine and shout out “Off with his head!” about her enemies instead of gyrating to Abba with her groupies in her Downing Street flat.

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