Wednesday, September 22, 2021

Randy Andy’s Painful PR Offensive

Prince Andrew’s attempts to launch a PR offensive to get himself out of the civil case against him are nothing but crass; arse-licking journalists Camilla Tominey and Matthew Parris should be ashamed of themselves for their toady support suggests Matthew Steeples.

A Megayacht Bargain

What will be the world’s 28th largest ‘megayacht’ to be offered for sale for the surprisingly low bargain basement sum of ‘just’ £18.3 million and at no reserve; why doesn’t Boris Johnson buy it for Britain?

The ‘Battersea Power Station (Station)’ Debate

Twitter users get into a tizzy as to whether the new ‘Battersea Power Station’ should be called that or ‘Battersea Power Station Station’; let’s get them started on ‘King’s Road’ vs. ‘Kings Road’

Tweet of the Week – Mocking Madeley

Alleged shoplifting tellybox twerp Richard Madeley is turned into a lookalike of inept comedy character broadcaster Alan Partridge.

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EDITORIAL

Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

Randy Andy’s Painful PR Offensive

Prince Andrew’s attempts to launch a PR offensive to get himself out of the civil case against him are nothing but crass; arse-licking journalists Camilla Tominey and Matthew Parris should be ashamed of themselves for their toady support suggests Matthew Steeples.

Foot-In-Mouth Monster Fergie

Matthew Steeples suggests Sarah, Duchess of York ought not to be banging on about monsters at a time when the Duke of York faces a civil suit over sexual abuse.

The Dopey Dumbass DVLA

Matthew Steeples condemns the inept organisation that is the DVLA – its headquarters on strike for months and staff riddled with COVID.

THE ROLL CALL

A list of influence

OBSERVERS

PERSONALITIES

CREATIVES

BUSINESS

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Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

Randy Andy’s Painful PR Offensive

Prince Andrew’s attempts to launch a PR offensive to get himself out of the civil case against him are nothing but crass; arse-licking journalists Camilla Tominey and Matthew Parris should be ashamed of themselves for their toady support suggests Matthew Steeples.

Foot-In-Mouth Monster Fergie

Matthew Steeples suggests Sarah, Duchess of York ought not to be banging on about monsters at a time when the Duke of York faces a civil suit over sexual abuse.

The Dopey Dumbass DVLA

Matthew Steeples condemns the inept organisation that is the DVLA – its headquarters on strike for months and staff riddled with COVID.

Luxury and the arts

A Megayacht Bargain

What will be the world’s 28th largest ‘megayacht’ to be offered for sale for the surprisingly low bargain basement sum of ‘just’ £18.3 million and at no reserve; why doesn’t Boris Johnson buy it for Britain?

Could This Be Chelsea’s Cheapest Flat?

Two-bedroom flat in Chelsea, SW3 goes on sale for just £10,995 in spite of having a rental potential of £14,000 per year.

The 62,000 Square Foot McMansion

Chinese billionaire gets planning permission to expand a £210 million Knightsbridge house to create a ludicrously large single family 62,000 square foot ‘McMansion’

A ranked assembly of individuals of note along with details of their achievements and quirks

Roy Rocket (AKA ‘The King of Brighton’ and the ‘Brighton Legend’, 2010 – 2021)

Legendary racehorse Roy Rocket was a wildcard punters’ favourite at Brighton. He was trained by John Berry and was allowed to do as he wanted at his yard. “Roy’s the boy” was regularly cheered to success by an octogenarian with a flask full of gin.

Luke Durbin

Luke Durbin from Hollesley, near Woodbridge went missing aged just 19 after a night out with friends in Ipswich. After after being unable to...

Penny Streeter OBE (née Penny Stiff)

A classic ‘rags to riches’ tale is that of Penny Streeter. Born in what was then Rhodesia, this police superintendent’s daughter came to England...

The snakes and ladders of society

Tweet of the Week – Mocking Madeley

Alleged shoplifting tellybox twerp Richard Madeley is turned into a lookalike of inept comedy character broadcaster Alan Partridge.

Time Out MeGain

‘Time’ magazine’s decision to make ‘Cringe’ and ‘Ginge’ (AKA the Duke and Duchess of Sussex) their poster children is quite beyond cringeworthy.

Website of the Week 2021 – Cold Dahl

New site Cold Dahl makes a mockery of Prince Andrew’s nonsensical gibberish about not sweating; its first video clip is a ‘must watch’
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Food, drink and fine dining

Dim Tim Martin’s Doom

Nikolay Kalinin on extremist Brexiteer Tim Martin moaning about shortages at Wetherspoons being caused ironically by Brexit; ‘Dim Martin’ should blame himself only for such a situation.

Flora’s ‘Little Pot of Sunshine’

9-year-old girl’s prize-winning “little pot of sunshine” conserve goes on sale in Fortnum & Mason after beating 3,000 others in the world marmalade awards; 99-year-old’s grandson meanwhile claims marmalade helped her beat coronavirus.

Celebrating The Doggy Bag

Nikolay Kalinin celebrates the ‘Daily Mail’s’ campaign to encourage restaurant customers to take doggy bags home with them and joins those slamming Wetherspoons decision to refuse to participate.

From playing the field to buying a team

A Horse Named For Rooney

In the wake of his latest alleged sexual antics scandal, granny grabbing Wayne Rooney gets amusing suggestions for what he’d be called if he was a racehorse.

Racism Should NOT Be Coming Home

Nikolay Kalinin on racism from comedians, estate agents and politicians in the wake of England’s loss in the UEFA football final on Sunday.

Pitiful Anderson and Priti Awful Patel

Nikolay Kalinin slams Home Secretary Priti Patel and fellow Tory twerp Lee Anderson MP over their off-pitch antics over tonight’s football final.

The economy, politics and current affairs

The ‘Battersea Power Station (Station)’ Debate

Twitter users get into a tizzy as to whether the new ‘Battersea Power Station’ should be called that or ‘Battersea Power Station Station’; let’s get them started on ‘King’s Road’ vs. ‘Kings Road’

Hero of the Hour 2021 – Terry Lubbock

The late Terry Lubbock deserves to be remembered and recognised for his campaign for justice for his raped and murdered son Stuart.

Randy Rob Must NOT Return

Nikolay Kalinin suggests that 12 weeks suspension is far from enough for serial sex pest ‘Randy Rob’ Roberts MP.

The comings and goings of the entrepreneurial classes

Mobile Madness

Nikolay Kalinin slams Gavin Williamson’s war on mobile phones in schools.

Dim Martin

Nikolay Kalinin mocks Brexiteer and founder of Wetherspoons Tim Martin for now wanting EU migrant workers; he relabels the champagne, social media and dog...

The Boat Britain Didn’t Ask For (Or Need)

Nikolay Kalinin joins those condemning Boris Johnson’s decision to waste £200 million on a boat Britain didn’t ask for (or need).

Science, technology and gadgets

Death By E-Scooter Hurtles Towards RBKC

As a 16-year-old dies after being hit on an e-scooter at 1.20am, inept Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea council shamefully big up the arrival of a rental scheme for them in the borough.

Ban The E-Scooter in Britain

Video of e-scooter turning into fireball illustrates why these dangerous death traps should be completely banned in Britain.

Phone Home Snowdon & Sellers

1964 Aston Martin DB5 convertible – complete with very first car phone in Britain – owned originally by Peter Sellers and subsequently by Princess Margaret’s husband to be auctioned.