Call In The Co-Collaborators – Maxwell Associates Including Sarah Kellen Should Face Justice
Matthew Steeples joins those demanding that Ghislaine Maxwell’s henchwoman Sarah Kellen and other co-collaborators face justice for their roles assisting the convicted mucky madam sex fiend.
Word of the Week 2022 – Coffin Dodger (Codger)
Is describing the likes of bungling billionaires like Bernie Ecclestone and Rupert Murdoch as ‘coffin dodgers’ or ‘codgers’ acceptable? Matthew Steeples says MOST DEFINITELY YES.
Maximum Maxwell – 55-Year Sentence For Grubby Groper Ghislaine Maxwell
Prosecutors rightly demand mucky madam sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell gets maximum 55 years in the clink and thus likely deservedly dies there; they also want the deviant liar to pay the maximum £615,000 fine and call out her spreading “horror stories” about her incarceration as “unfounded.”
Silencing By Maxwell – Sarah Ransome and Elizabeth Stein Should Be Heard
In trying to bring about the silencing of victims of abuse, Ghislaine Maxwell again shows her truly wicked ways are not behind her; victims Sarah Ransome and Elizabeth Stein should be heard.
EDITORIAL
Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples
Word of the Week 2022 – Coffin Dodger (Codger)
Is describing the likes of bungling billionaires like Bernie Ecclestone and Rupert Murdoch as ‘coffin dodgers’ or ‘codgers’ acceptable? Matthew Steeples says MOST DEFINITELY YES.
Troll Off – Bog Off, F**k Off, Do One, Jog On & Go Away
Matthew Steeples enthuses about telling online trolls supporting Ghislaine Maxwell and the Duchess of Sussex to “bog off” given their intense dislike for such.
Sham Marriage Of Levi Bellfield Should Be Stopped
Matthew Steeples joins those demanding attention seeking rapist-serial killer Levi Bellfield isn’t granted the right to have a sham marriage in prison; this maniacal monster deserves punitive punishment not privileges.
THE ROLL CALL
A list of influence
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Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples
Word of the Week 2022 – Coffin Dodger (Codger)
Is describing the likes of bungling billionaires like Bernie Ecclestone and Rupert Murdoch as ‘coffin dodgers’ or ‘codgers’ acceptable? Matthew Steeples says MOST DEFINITELY YES.
Troll Off – Bog Off, F**k Off, Do One, Jog On & Go Away
Matthew Steeples enthuses about telling online trolls supporting Ghislaine Maxwell and the Duchess of Sussex to “bog off” given their intense dislike for such.
Sham Marriage Of Levi Bellfield Should Be Stopped
Matthew Steeples joins those demanding attention seeking rapist-serial killer Levi Bellfield isn’t granted the right to have a sham marriage in prison; this maniacal monster deserves punitive punishment not privileges.
Luxury and the arts
A Miniature Downton – £10.5 Million Poston Court
“Stately home in miniature” Poston Court could become the most expensive small country estate ever sold in Herefordshire; is it worth £10.5 million?
The Return of the Topper
Matthew Steeples talks to Martin Ellis Jones of Hetherington Hats about the return of the ‘topper’ as real-life drama returns to Royal Ascot in June 2022.
A NYC Hotel That’s Never Been A Hotel – Apartment For Sale In Hotel Des Artistes
Duplex in a New York hotel that’s never been an actual hotel for sale for £1.1 million; Hotel Des Artistes has been home to everyone from Sir Noël Coward and Isadora Duncan to Gary Oldman and Rudolph Valentino.
A ranked assembly of individuals of note along with details of their achievements and quirks
Big Zuu (Birth Name – Zuhair Hassan)
A rapper and grime MC turned TV star of ‘Big Zuu’s Big Eats,’ Zuhair Hassan is an example of a youngster with infectious positivity and great talent. A modern-day Keith Floyd in the making.
Ken Smith (AKA ‘The Hermit of Treig’)
After having been attacked and left for dead aged 26, Derbyshire born Ken Smith found solace in the Scottish Highlands and has lived as a hermit for around 46 years in a cabin that is 27 miles from the nearest settlement. He lives off the land and has 70 gallons of hooch on the go and “wants everyone to be merry” when he dies.
Dr Margaret McCollum (AKA ‘Mrs Mind The Gap’)
Voice of “mind the gap” on London’s Northern Line underground service’s widow Dr Margaret McCollum got him back there.
The snakes and ladders of society
Call In The Co-Collaborators – Maxwell Associates Including Sarah Kellen Should Face Justice
Matthew Steeples joins those demanding that Ghislaine Maxwell’s henchwoman Sarah Kellen and other co-collaborators face justice for their roles assisting the convicted mucky madam sex fiend.
Maximum Maxwell – 55-Year Sentence For Grubby Groper Ghislaine Maxwell
Prosecutors rightly demand mucky madam sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell gets maximum 55 years in the clink and thus likely deservedly dies there; they also want the deviant liar to pay the maximum £615,000 fine and call out her spreading “horror stories” about her incarceration as “unfounded.”
Mimimum Maxwell – Ghislaine Maxwell Laughably Wants 4 Years
As Ghislaine Maxwell faces 30 years in prison, her lawyers have ludicrously countered suggesting she should serve just 4 years; her few “remaining friends” and family laughably blub about the mucky madam being a “fundamentally good and decent person” who “still has much to contribute to the world if she is given a meaningful opportunity to do so.”
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Food, drink and fine dining
Monroe v Anderson 2022 – Mouthy Menace v Mouthy Menace
As mouthy menace Jack Monroe threatens to sue mouthy menace Lee Anderson MP, Matthew Steeples suggests the only winner will be the laughing-all-the-way-to-the-bank lawyers; why don’t these tiresome attention seekers forget Monroe v Anderson and have a 30p cook-off hosted by Jamie Oliver instead?
The Restaurateur’s Restaurateur – Jeremy King Will Rise Again
As Minor International force restaurateurs Chris Corbin and Jeremy King out, loyal diners unsurprisingly back the dynamic duo and slam the tenacious Thais for their takeover.
The Fortune of Flapjackery
New contributor Anthony Smart delights in flapjacks created by two retired Devon ladies; they’ve turned Flapjackery into a £1 million business that has even attracted the attention of Prince Charles and his wife, Camilla Duchess of Cornwall.
From playing the field to buying a team
Vardy Carrie’s On – Rebekah Vardy Joins #TeamCarrieJohnson
Birdbrained blubber Rebekah Vardy comes out in support of vicious vixen Carrie Johnson; time for a night of Lambrusco, footie and ABBA in Downing Street?
Getting Our Goat – Mark’s Club, Mayfair To Host Party For Goat Killers
‘The Steeple Times’ launches a petition calling on Mayfair’s Mark’s Club – owned by the bouffant haired billionaire Richard Caring – to cancel an event for the Capreolus Club – an organisation that shockingly charges its members to shoot GOATS in the British Isles.
Tangerines Triumph – Blackpool Beats Off Owen Oyston Woes
Just as Blackpool Football Club’s new 17-year-old star signing Jake Daniels is widely lauded after “coming out” as gay, controversial former owner Owen Oyston unsurprisingly fails in laughable £78 million claim against the receivers of the ‘Tangerine’ team.
The economy, politics and current affairs
Silencing By Maxwell – Sarah Ransome and Elizabeth Stein Should Be Heard
In trying to bring about the silencing of victims of abuse, Ghislaine Maxwell again shows her truly wicked ways are not behind her; victims Sarah Ransome and Elizabeth Stein should be heard.
Gunning For Ghislaine 2022 – Search for gun continues in Maxwell jail
Authorities confirm to ‘The Steeple Times’ that search for smuggled gun at jail housing Ghislaine Maxwell and R. Kelly continues as mucky madam continues to bang on about her life being at risk.
Markle V Markle 2022 – Samantha Markle Wants £61k+ From Sister
As it looks set to go to jury trial, the defamation case of Samantha Markle against her sibling the Duchess of Sussex in Markle...
The comings and goings of the entrepreneurial classes
‘Headmaster Harvey’s’ Back – Kinky Harvey Proctor Gets Job Back
As the former “kinky MP” Harvey Proctor gets his job back with the Duke of Rutland, we remind readers of his history supporting apartheid, caning young men “for being naughty” and connections to mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell.
A £100k Carrie Cover-Up – Why Was PM’s Wife Considered For Top Job Despite No Relevant Experience?
The BBC, MailOnline and The Times ought to explain why they don’t want to discuss Carrie Johnson and alleged corruption at the heart of government; that the PM thought he could get the state to pay his now wife £100,000 per annum is an outrage and the cover-up over it should be called out as such.
Philbrick to Phil-Nicked! Inigo Philbrick Hits The Clink
As “vain” and “greedy” Inigo Philbrick gets deservedly jailed for 7 years, we remind readers that he remains a pretentious pillock whilst his bird-brained ‘baby mama’ Victoria Baker-Harber remains a mouthy moron.
Science, technology and gadgets
Off With His Head!
As Carrie Johnson continues to be nicknamed ‘Carrie Antoinette,’ she could buy a Napoleonic bone model of a guillotine and shout out “Off with his head!” about her enemies instead of gyrating to Abba with her groupies in her Downing Street flat.
We Have All the Time in the World… Well, We Do If You Have £25k Spare
Pair of limited edition Omega James Bond Seamaster diver watches featuring ‘We Have All the Time in the World’ and the Bond coat of arms to be auctioned.
Ronaldo’s New Clothes
Online equivalent of ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’ set to occur at Bonhams today with auction of £900,000 NFT of Cristiano Ronaldo.
