Thursday, February 25, 2021

Latest Editorial from The Steeple Times

A Brolly Wally 2021 – Samurai sword handled umbrella causes havoc – “Britain’s most troublesome brolly” goes to auction on eBay after its wally owner Mike Devlin nearly gets shot by armed police whilst carrying it.

A Brolly Wally

“Britain’s most troublesome brolly” goes to auction on eBay after its wally owner nearly gets shot by armed police whilst carrying it.
Ban Merelize van der Merwe from Facebook in 2021 – Change.org petition started by ‘The Steeple Times’ seeking to ban giraffe slaying monster Merelize van der Merwe from Facebook goes viral with over 4,000 signatures in less than 24 hours.

Ban Merelize van der Merwe from Facebook

Change.org petition started by ‘The Steeple Times’ seeking to ban giraffe slaying monster Merelize van der Merwe from Facebook goes viral with over 4,000 signatures in less than 24 hours.
Hero of the Hour 2021 – Josh Kelly, Popham Pies taxi delivery service – Enterprising Islington cabbie Josh Kelly turns to delivering pie and mash to replace fare absence during coronavirus lockdowns.

Hero of the Hour 2021 – Josh Kelly

Enterprising Islington cabbie Josh Kelly turns to delivering pie and mash to replace fare absence during coronavirus lockdowns.
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EDITORIAL

Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

A Yellow Stickered Spending Splurge 2021

Matthew Steeples shares his “yellow stickered” spending splurge just as it is revealed the average British family spent an extra £50 on groceries in January 2021.

A French Farce

Matthew Steeples slams the likely coverup of the latest Conservative Party sex scandal involving a still unnamed MP as a “French farce” and suggests that the Tories really shouldn’t sweep this matter under the carpet.

Help the Homeless in Lockup 3.0

Matthew Steeples suggests the government has made progress with its decision to help the homeless in the UK during ‘Lockup 3.0’ – but it must go further.

THE ROLL CALL

A list of influence

OBSERVERS

No. 1 - Emily Bolton

A Shackleton Award winning campaigner who “fights miscarriages of justice and demands reform,” practicing solicitor Emily Bolton is married to Reprieve founder and one...

No. 2 - Jessica Jackson Sloan (born Jessica Hurst)

Born in Alabama in 1982, Jessica Jackson Sloan has morphed from a high-school dropout with a baby and a drug addict, jailbird husband in...

No. 3 - Dame Louise Casey DBE, CB

In 2018, Tony Blair’s former ‘homelessness tsar’ Dame Louise Casey “blasted” Theresa May’s government as anything but “kind.” A former director of Shelter and...

PERSONALITIES

No. 1 - Luke Durbin

No. 2 - Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

Alongside a cat (yes, a cat) named ‘(Frederick Albert) Hitler’ as his barman, the landlord of the “maddest pub in Britain” Steve Cotten is...

No. 5 - Alan Holmes (1943 – 1996)

Attacked for just £1,000 in his own home in Parkway, Camden, NW1 on Christmas Day 1995, Derry born police mechanic Alan Holmes was left...

No. 2 - Mike Posner

Detroit born singer-songwriter Mike Posner became best known after the remixed version of I Took A Pill In Ibiza went viral. Whilst that single...

CREATIVES

No. 2 - Susie Steiner

No. 1 - Michael Russell (1933 – 2020)

Described in The Telegraph’s obituary of him as a “publisher, wit and author,” Michael Russell is best known for writing the spoof memoirs of...

No. 1 - Evelyn McHale (1923 – 1947)

Little is known about what drove Evelyn McHale to jump from the Empire State Building and be captured in the “most beautiful suicide ...

No. 1 - Dame Dorothy Tutin DBE (1930 – 2001)

A resident of a Chelsea houseboat named ‘Undine’ from 1953, Dame Dorothy Tutin was “one of UK’s most versatile actresses” and someone whom “bridged...

BUSINESS

No. 2 - Lawrence Stroll (born Lawrence Strulovitch)

Montreal born “archetypal billionaire,” “fashion mogul” and “Ferrari fanatic” Lawrence Stroll arranged £536 million of funding to save Aston Martin, much of which came...

No. 1 - Sarah Winchester (née Pardee, 1839 – 1922)

New Haven, Connecticut born Sarah Winchester became one of the wealthiest women in the world after the death of her Winchester Repeating Arms Company...

No. 2 - Hetty Green (AKA Henrietta Green, ‘The Witch of Wall Street,’ née Henrietta Robinson, 1834 – 1916)

“The greatest miser” and “richest woman in America” during the Gilded Age, Hetty Green lived by the rule of “buy cheap and sell dear.”...
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Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

A Yellow Stickered Spending Splurge 2021

Matthew Steeples shares his “yellow stickered” spending splurge just as it is revealed the average British family spent an extra £50 on groceries in January 2021.

A French Farce

Matthew Steeples slams the likely coverup of the latest Conservative Party sex scandal involving a still unnamed MP as a “French farce” and suggests that the Tories really shouldn’t sweep this matter under the carpet.

Help the Homeless in Lockup 3.0

Matthew Steeples suggests the government has made progress with its decision to help the homeless in the UK during ‘Lockup 3.0’ – but it must go further.

Luxury and the arts

Lock Him Up 2021!

Ideal new ‘home’ for likely to be impeached Donald Trump for sale just as he prepares to leave office; it comes with its own jail – the perfect place to “lock him up!”

A Christmas Nightmare

“Mini castle” in Pennsylvania goes on sale in time for Christmas for 512% more than it sold for in 2000 in spite of its decoration being nightmare nasty.

Elvis & Epstein’s ‘Dictator Car’

1969 Mercedes-Benz 600 ‘Dictator Car’ sedan originally owned by Elvis Presley and currently by an Epstein is being sold by auction.

A ranked assembly of individuals of note along with details of their achievements and quirks.

No. 1 - Luke Durbin

Luke Durbin from Hollesley, near Woodbridge went missing aged just 19 after a night out with friends in Ipswich. After after being unable to...

No. 1 - Penny Streeter OBE (née Penny Stiff)

A classic ‘rags to riches’ tale is that of Penny Streeter. Born in what was then Rhodesia, this police superintendent’s daughter came to England...

No. 2 - Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

Alongside a cat (yes, a cat) named ‘(Frederick Albert) Hitler’ as his barman, the landlord of the “maddest pub in Britain” Steve Cotten is...

The snakes and ladders of society

A Distraction Disgrace – ‘Christian B’ Cleared

As Christian Brueckener is cleared of the abduction of the “German Madeleine McCann” Inga Gehricke, we again slam the use of the distraction technique.

A Brolly Wally

“Britain’s most troublesome brolly” goes to auction on eBay after its wally owner nearly gets shot by armed police whilst carrying it.

Fergie Goes Potty

Sarah, Duchess of York gets overexcited about a potty on YouTube, yet fails to address what went on in mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s bathtub in 2001.
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Food, drink and fine dining

A Sorry Shelf Saga

Northamptonshire Tesco shopper gets into a tizzy over shelf movements and furiously compares matter to wartime.

Pensioners’ Portion Palaver 2021

Angry magnifying glass carrying pensioner Tony Crook complains about “pensioners’ portions” of fish and chips being “obnoxious” in Barnard Castle – the land of Dominic Cummings’ famous eye test outing in 2020.

Heroes of the Hour 2021 – Bill and Cath Mullarkey

Bill and Cath Mullarkey are using their EuroMillions winnings to to feed homeless people in the COVID-19 lockdown.

From playing the field to buying a team

Ban Merelize van der Merwe from Facebook

Change.org petition started by ‘The Steeple Times’ seeking to ban giraffe slaying monster Merelize van der Merwe from Facebook goes viral with over 4,000 signatures in less than 24 hours.

Diabolical in Dallas

As the Dallas Safari Club disgustingly auction off an “opportunity” to kill an endangered black rhino, we urge readers to support our petition to put a stop to their shameless poster girl Larysa Switlyk.

Runners & Riders – The Classic Chase 2021 at Warwick

‘The Steeple Times’ examines the tipsters’ selections and offers 4 options for The Classic Chase 2021 at Warwick – as well as a 15/1 at Market Rasen.

The economy, politics and current affairs

‘Henley’s 9/11’ – BinGate (Part II)

Row about ‘heritage’ bins and solar bins in Henley rumbles on; temper tantrum prone ‘Cavalier councillor’ David Eggleton still isn’t satisfied.

Justice for Stuart Lubbock 2021

As it is revealed that the father of Stuart Lubbock, murdered in Michael Barrymore’s swimming pool in 2001, has terminal cancer, it is time that the disgraced entertainer finally told the truth.

Plane Perverted

EXCLUSIVE – Previously unnamed 9-year-old child pictured on the lap of Jeffrey Epstein on his plane in ‘Daily Mail’ suggested to be daughter of billionaire Glenn Dubin.

The comings and goings of the entrepreneurial classes

Hero of the Hour 2021 – Josh Kelly

Enterprising Islington cabbie Josh Kelly turns to delivering pie and mash to replace fare absence during coronavirus lockdowns.

Heroine of the Hour 2021 – Anne Robinson

Anne Robinson’s appointment as the ‘Countdown’ host is a breath of fresh air and the carping ‘woke’ should pipe down about it.

Shifty Job Killer

‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green’s legacy now should be just one thing; this beached whale billionaire should go down in history as a job killer.

Science, technology and gadgets

Put a Bloody Bin in it!

“Waste expert” Henley-on-Thames deputy mayor resigns over ding-dong over a decision about 22 new ‘heritage’ bins; two of the bins are remarkably solar powered and in total are set to cost a staggering £19,000.

MacBook Maxwell

Mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s lawyers demand she gets access to a laptop seven days per week; one can assume she’ll expect a ritzy MacBook Pro.

Erecting a C(l)ock

WARNING: EXPLICIT – Chi-chi auction house auction smutty Benny Hill-esque novelty automotive clock; it’ll be erecting a lot of interest.