Friday, October 30, 2020
Bog Off Bungling Boris – Bungling Boris Johnson must quit – Matthew Steeples suggests now is time for bungling Boris Johnson to quit; he is not in control and he has no coordinated plan.

Bog Off Bungling Boris

Matthew Steeples suggests now is time for bungling Boris Johnson to quit; he is not in control and he has no coordinated plan for Brexit or coronavirus.
A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat – Dawn Ward charged with racial abuse and drugs possession – Notorious prosecco “gag reflexer” and Sinitta “napkin slapper” Dawn Ward resurfaces; the Cheshire cat has been charged with racial abuse and coke possession.

A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat

Notorious prosecco “gag reflexer” and Sinitta “napkin slapper” Dawn Ward resurfaces; the Cheshire cat has been charged with racial abuse and coke...
Randy & Mucky – Time to Face The Music – More woes for Maxwell – Things are about to get a hell of a lot worse for ‘Randy Andy’ the Duke of York and the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell – just as her feudal family crawl out of the woodwork and a silver-haired, Savile Row suited socialist PR man tries to get her out of the clink.

Randy & Mucky – Time to Face The Music

Things are about to get a hell of a lot worse for ‘Randy Andy’ the Duke of York and the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell – just as her feudal family crawl out of the woodwork and a silver-haired, Savile Row suited socialist PR man tries to get her out of the clink.

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    EDITORIAL

    Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

    Feeding Brueckner

    As Scotland Yard suggest Christian Brueckner will likely never be charged over the ‘disappearance’ of Madeleine McCann, Matthew Steeples argues that the British government finally put a stop to funding this pointless search and instead feed hungry children.

    Get Menendez Out of The Hole

    As Erik Menendez is undeservedly thrown in ‘the hole’ in the most ludicrous fashion in California, Matthew Steeples suggests it is time both him and his equally abused brother Lyle were finally released.

    Junk the Junk Mail

    Instead of banning people from enjoying themselves, the government should should do something useful and ban a genuine disease spreader: Junk mail.

    THE ROLL CALL

    A list of influence

    OBSERVERS

    Barbara Smoker (1923 – 2020)

    A promoter of “causes many of us now take for granted,” Catford born campaigner and humanist activist Barbara Smoker believed in surviving “on her...

    Emily Bolton

    A Shackleton Award winning campaigner who “fights miscarriages of justice and demands reform,” practicing solicitor Emily Bolton is married to Reprieve founder and one...

    Jessica Jackson Sloan (born Jessica Hurst)

    Born in Alabama in 1982, Jessica Jackson Sloan has morphed from a high-school dropout with a baby and a drug addict, jailbird husband in...

    Dame Louise Casey DBE, CB

    In 2018, Tony Blair’s former ‘homelessness tsar’ Dame Louise Casey “blasted” Theresa May’s government as anything but “kind.” A former director of Shelter and...

    PERSONALITIES

    Luke Durbin

    Luke Durbin from Hollesley, near Woodbridge went missing aged just 19 after a night out with friends in Ipswich. After after being unable to...

    Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

    Alongside a cat (yes, a cat) named ‘(Frederick Albert) Hitler’ as his barman, the landlord of the “maddest pub in Britain” Steve Cotten is...

    Alan Holmes (1943 – 1996)

    Attacked for just £1,000 in his own home in Parkway, Camden, NW1 on Christmas Day 1995, Derry born police mechanic Alan Holmes was left...

    Mike Posner

    Detroit born singer-songwriter Mike Posner became best known after the remixed version of I Took A Pill In Ibiza went viral. Whilst that single...

    CREATIVES

    Susie Steiner

    “I’m sorry I still love him” unabashedly declared author, journalist and “stationary addict” Susie Steiner of Tony Blair on Twitter during the coronavirus lockdown...

    Michael Russell (1933 – 2020)

    Described in The Telegraph’s obituary of him as a “publisher, wit and author,” Michael Russell is best known for writing the spoof memoirs of...

    Evelyn McHale (1923 – 1947)

    Little is known about what drove Evelyn McHale to jump from the Empire State Building and be captured in the “most beautiful suicide ...

    Dame Dorothy Tutin DBE (1930 – 2001)

    A resident of a Chelsea houseboat named ‘Undine’ from 1953, Dame Dorothy Tutin was “one of UK’s most versatile actresses” and someone whom “bridged...

    BUSINESS

    Penny Streeter OBE (née Penny Stiff)

    A classic ‘rags to riches’ tale is that of Penny Streeter. Born in what was then Rhodesia, this police superintendent’s daughter came to England...

    Lawrence Stroll (born Lawrence Strulovitch)

    Montreal born “archetypal billionaire,” “fashion mogul” and “Ferrari fanatic” Lawrence Stroll arranged £536 million of funding to save Aston Martin, much of which came...

    Sarah Winchester (née Pardee, 1839 – 1922)

    New Haven, Connecticut born Sarah Winchester became one of the wealthiest women in the world after the death of her Winchester Repeating Arms Company...

    Hetty Green (AKA Henrietta Green, ‘The Witch of Wall Street,’ née Henrietta Robinson, 1834 – 1916)

    “The greatest miser” and “richest woman in America” during the Gilded Age, Hetty Green lived by the rule of “buy cheap and sell dear.”...
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    Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

    Feeding Brueckner

    As Scotland Yard suggest Christian Brueckner will likely never be charged over the ‘disappearance’ of Madeleine McCann, Matthew Steeples argues that the British government finally put a stop to funding this pointless search and instead feed hungry children.

    Get Menendez Out of The Hole

    As Erik Menendez is undeservedly thrown in ‘the hole’ in the most ludicrous fashion in California, Matthew Steeples suggests it is time both him and his equally abused brother Lyle were finally released.

    Junk the Junk Mail

    Instead of banning people from enjoying themselves, the government should should do something useful and ban a genuine disease spreader: Junk mail.

    Luxury and the arts

    Going Bonkers For A Bin

    Auctioneers Christie’s sought to sell five waste bins for £230; they ultimately went for the astounding sum of just under £34,000.

    A Pyrotechnic Pad

    Mansion in controversial compound in The Boltons, SW10 for sale for £50 million; the setting has seen court cases and pyrotechnic parties involving a self-declared “Relentless” multi-millionaire.

    A Marvellous Party with Mrs Bucket

    Dame Patricia Routledge’s rendition of ‘I’ve Been To A Marvellous Party’ for theatrical charities will most certainly lift your spirits.

    The snakes and ladders of society

    Dirty Dawn Can’t Take the Heat of the Coke

    Dirty Dawn strikes again – Attention seeker and alleged racist and coke possessor Dawn Ward proves she cannot cope with a bit of truthful press attention.

    A Coked-Up Cheshire Cat

    Notorious prosecco “gag reflexer” and Sinitta “napkin slapper” Dawn Ward resurfaces; the Cheshire cat has been charged with racial abuse and coke...

    Schofe Banned

    As Phillip Schofield’s book is banned from sale in Wales, we ask: “Did the temperamental telly host ‘Schofe’ have another meltdown as...

    Food, drink and fine dining

    Bog Off Bungling Boris

    Matthew Steeples suggests now is time for bungling Boris Johnson to quit; he is not in control and he has no coordinated plan for Brexit or coronavirus.

    Starve a Kid to Save a Quid

    ‘Starve a Kid to Save a Quid’ goes viral in the wake of the government’s disastrous attempt to starve poor school kids whilst Tory MPs deservedly get banned from shops and restaurants.

    Anth’ Swings Back to Flakegate

    Anthea Turner swings into an interview with ‘The Sun’ and shares that she had therapy over her tacky ‘Flakegate’ wedding photos.

    From playing the field to buying a team

    Picture of the Week – A Red Squirrel Riot

    Images of a red squirrel fighting a pheasant for hazelnuts and bird seed are proof that both creatures can be quite feisty.

    Ban the InstaKiller

    Wolf slaying ‘InstaKiller’ Larysa Switlyk disgracefully remains on Instagram in spite of campaign to remove her going viral on Change.org

    Coming up for Ayr

    ‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the top picks for today’s Ayr Gold Cup Handicap and opts for a tidy priced 28/1 option.

    The economy, politics and current affairs

    Randy & Mucky – Time to Face The Music

    Things are about to get a hell of a lot worse for ‘Randy Andy’ the Duke of York and the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell – just as her feudal family crawl out of the woodwork and a silver-haired, Savile Row suited socialist PR man tries to get her out of the clink.

    Outing Randy Andy

    Will ‘Randy Andy’ the Duke of York erupt in anger with the outing of the depositions of Ghislaine Maxwell this morning? Could this be the non-sweater’s last stand?

    Filthy Natalie

    Wife of ‘Naughty Tory’ turned replacement MP Natalie Elphicke turns to talking about filthy water (but avoids the topic of her jailbird hubby’s bottom groping).

    The comings and goings of the entrepreneurial classes

    Sir Shifty Slammed by Sister

    Vile piece of toerag ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green is unsurprisingly panned by his very own sister in her memoir ‘Not in The Script’

    A Highway Ponzi House

    Montauk beach house built for Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff resurfaces for sale for double what U.S. Marshalls got for it in 2009; its price seems crazy given it could be washed away by erosion.

    Moaning Maxwell

    Mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell is now outrageously moaning about not having a desk or email access; she’ll be asking for Krug next.

    Science, technology and gadgets

    Firing Up A 20th Century Limo

    ‘Stretched’ 1994 Toyota Century for sale for less than the price of a brand new Ford Fiesta; the rammed full of gadgets limousine comes with a food heating compartment and privacy curtains favoured by notoriously shy Japanese people even.

    E-Scooter-ing a Shameless Minister For Rent

    E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.

    Gas & Golf

    Rare example of first ever production petrol powered golf cart to be auctioned; the 1957 Jato Walker Executive, however, does not come...

    A ranked assembly of individuals of note along with details of their achievements and quirks.

    Pete Halat

    Former attorney and Mayor of Biloxi, Mississippi from 1989 to 1993, Pete Halat was acquitted of but still is often connected to the 1987...

    Jassy Davis

    A top British blogger who is the lady behind the legend that is Gin and Crumpets. This freelance writer is also the co-author of...

    Dr Hyacinth Morgan (1885 – 1956)

    Twice a Labour Member of Parliament (1929 – 1931 and 1940 – 1955) and bizarrely sharing a Christian name with television’s Mrs Bucket, Dr...