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Saturday, September 19, 2020
Escaping the Dick – Cressida Dick should take responsibility for escaped prisoner debacle – That an escaped prisoner couldn’t get himself rearrested in spite of willingly handing himself into the Met Police seven times is ludicrous; Cressida Dick should take responsibility and resign

Escaping the Dick

Coming up for Ayr – Ayr Gold Cup Handicap, 19th September 2020 – ‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the top picks for today’s Ayr Gold Cup Handicap and opts for a tidy priced 28/1 option.

Coming up for Ayr

‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the top picks for today’s Ayr Gold Cup Handicap and opts for a tidy priced 28/1 option.
Neighbours from Hell – Duke and Duchess of Sussex voted worst neighbours – As Priti Patel is slammed by her neighbours as a ‘snitch,’ the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are voted “the famous couple Brits would least like to live next door to.”

Neighbours from Hell

As Priti Patel is slammed by her neighbours as a ‘snitch,’ the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are voted “the famous couple Brits would least like to live next door to” along with Boris Johnson and Kerry Katona.
The Distraction of Christian B – Madeleine McCann disappearance – As Christian Brueckner’s lawyer highlights that the German police have not established any link to the ‘disappearance’ of Madeleine McCann, we suggest the distraction technique is ‘in play.’

The Distraction of Christian B

As Christian Brueckner’s lawyer highlights that German police have found no link to ‘disappearance’ of Madeleine McCann, we suggest distraction technique is ‘in play.’

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EDITORIAL

Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

The Crackpottery of Coronavirus

Coronavirus has become the go-to excuse for just about anything that goes wrong and it is ridiculous suggests Matthew Steeples.

The Death of the High Street

Matthew Steeples laments the death of the high street, but sees some hope in a shift to a new way of retailing

A Lament for London

Matthew Steeples expresses lament for London’s post-coronavirus future – here is a city that faces an exodus and recession.

THE ROLL CALL

A list of influence

OBSERVERS

Barbara Smoker (1923 – 2020)

A promoter of “causes many of us now take for granted,” Catford born campaigner and humanist activist Barbara Smoker believed in surviving “on her...

Emily Bolton

A Shackleton Award winning campaigner who “fights miscarriages of justice and demands reform,” practicing solicitor Emily Bolton is married to Reprieve founder and one...

Jessica Jackson Sloan (born Jessica Hurst)

Born in Alabama in 1982, Jessica Jackson Sloan has morphed from a high-school dropout with a baby and a drug addict, jailbird husband in...

Dame Louise Casey DBE, CB

In 2018, Tony Blair’s former ‘homelessness tsar’ Dame Louise Casey “blasted” Theresa May’s government as anything but “kind.” A former director of Shelter and...

PERSONALITIES

Luke Durbin

Luke Durbin from Hollesley, near Woodbridge went missing aged just 19 after a night out with friends in Ipswich. After after being unable to...

Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

Alongside a cat (yes, a cat) named ‘(Frederick Albert) Hitler’ as his barman, the landlord of the “maddest pub in Britain” Steve Cotten is...

Alan Holmes (1943 – 1996)

Attacked for just £1,000 in his own home in Parkway, Camden, NW1 on Christmas Day 1995, Derry born police mechanic Alan Holmes was left...

Mike Posner

Detroit born singer-songwriter Mike Posner became best known after the remixed version of I Took A Pill In Ibiza went viral. Whilst that single...

CREATIVES

Susie Steiner

“I’m sorry I still love him” unabashedly declared author, journalist and “stationary addict” Susie Steiner of Tony Blair on Twitter during the coronavirus lockdown...

Michael Russell (1933 – 2020)

Described in The Telegraph’s obituary of him as a “publisher, wit and author,” Michael Russell is best known for writing the spoof memoirs of...

Evelyn McHale (1923 – 1947)

Little is known about what drove Evelyn McHale to jump from the Empire State Building and be captured in the “most beautiful suicide ...

Dame Dorothy Tutin DBE (1930 – 2001)

A resident of a Chelsea houseboat named ‘Undine’ from 1953, Dame Dorothy Tutin was “one of UK’s most versatile actresses” and someone whom “bridged...

BUSINESS

Penny Streeter OBE (née Penny Stiff)

A classic ‘rags to riches’ tale is that of Penny Streeter. Born in what was then Rhodesia, this police superintendent’s daughter came to England...

Lawrence Stroll (born Lawrence Strulovitch)

Montreal born “archetypal billionaire,” “fashion mogul” and “Ferrari fanatic” Lawrence Stroll arranged £536 million of funding to save Aston Martin, much of which came...

Sarah Winchester (née Pardee, 1839 – 1922)

New Haven, Connecticut born Sarah Winchester became one of the wealthiest women in the world after the death of her Winchester Repeating Arms Company...

Hetty Green (AKA Henrietta Green, ‘The Witch of Wall Street,’ née Henrietta Robinson, 1834 – 1916)

“The greatest miser” and “richest woman in America” during the Gilded Age, Hetty Green lived by the rule of “buy cheap and sell dear.”...
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Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

The Crackpottery of Coronavirus

Coronavirus has become the go-to excuse for just about anything that goes wrong and it is ridiculous suggests Matthew Steeples.

The Death of the High Street

Matthew Steeples laments the death of the high street, but sees some hope in a shift to a new way of retailing

A Lament for London

Matthew Steeples expresses lament for London’s post-coronavirus future – here is a city that faces an exodus and recession.

Luxury and the arts

Five of the Worst – Undesirable Homes Currently For Sale

‘The Steeple Times’ selects five undesirable homes currently for sale that many would say would remain best avoided; they’ve all been in the news and they’re all connected to infamous names.

Chic Chicheley

Grade I listed Baroque mansion Chicheley Hall in Buckinghamshire for sale for £7 million or 62% less than the current owners have spent on it.

Georges Simenon’s ‘House of Happiness’

Tiny French pied à terre on the Côte d’Azur once owned by the ‘Maigret’ author Georges Simenon for sale for just £107,000; he described the property as his ‘house of happiness.’

The snakes and ladders of society

Neighbours from Hell

As Priti Patel is slammed by her neighbours as a ‘snitch,’ the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are voted “the famous couple Brits would least like to live next door to” along with Boris Johnson and Kerry Katona.

Mother Maxwell

Matthew Steeples suggests Jeffrey Epstein treated Ghislaine Maxwell like a “mother figure.”

Wally of the Week – Lady Green

BHS bandit Sir Philip Green’s wife’s bleating about being stuck on her yacht in Monaco is nothing but pathetic; Lady Green plainly has no comprehension of how out of touch she truly is with reality.

Food, drink and fine dining

Phillip Schofield – What a Plonker!

All-round plonker Phillip Schofield’s wine range condemned as “only fit for the bin” and “no more palatable than fizzy Ribena;” it looks like his “sh*tty offering” might go the same way as that sold by Sir Cliff Richard.

Magnificent Madeleine

Matthew Steeples suggests the utterly charming Chez Madeleine as the best place for seafood in Saint Tropez, France.

Bow Wine Vaults Back

Acclaimed restaurateur Philip Lawless to reopen Square Mile institution and haunt of city financiers the Bow Wine Vaults on Monday.

From playing the field to buying a team

Coming up for Ayr

‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the top picks for today’s Ayr Gold Cup Handicap and opts for a tidy priced 28/1 option.

Monster of the Moment – Larysa Switlyk

Massacring monster Larysa Switlyk boasts about killing an endangered Coke’s hartebeest and a wolf also; she shares such for personal profit and frankly Instagram should be ashamed of itself for enabling her.

Five of the Best – Houses for Sports Fanatics

‘The Steeple Times’ discovers five properties that will appeal to serious sports fanatics with a desire to indulge their passions at home that are currently for sale.

The economy, politics and current affairs

Escaping the Dick

That an escaped prisoner couldn’t get himself rearrested in spite of willingly handing himself into the Met Police seven times is ludicrous; Cressida Dick should take responsibility and resign

The Distraction of Christian B

As Christian Brueckner’s lawyer highlights that German police have found no link to ‘disappearance’ of Madeleine McCann, we suggest distraction technique is ‘in play.’

Is Now a Good Time?

As Britain likely moves into further lockdowns, drug dealers are changing the way they operate and communicate; they now bizarrely demand customers ask: “Is now a good time?”

The comings and goings of the entrepreneurial classes

Moaning Maxwell

Mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell is now outrageously moaning about not having a desk or email access; she’ll be asking for Krug next.

Reasonable Stunt

EXCLUSIVE – James Stunt responds to offensive media reports about himself rationally and reasonably If you’d believe the Mirror and The...

Titles for the Boys and Girls – Elevation of Sir Philip May

Giving a knighthood to Philip May for “political services” is absolutely preposterous given his firm’s dubious connections; instead Count Binface would have been a better recipient.

Science, technology and gadgets

Firing Up A 20th Century Limo

‘Stretched’ 1994 Toyota Century for sale for less than the price of a brand new Ford Fiesta; the rammed full of gadgets limousine comes with a food heating compartment and privacy curtains favoured by notoriously shy Japanese people even.

E-Scooter-ing a Shameless Minister For Rent

E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.

Gas & Golf

Rare example of first ever production petrol powered golf cart to be auctioned; the 1957 Jato Walker Executive, however, does not come...