A Transatlantic Triumph – The Amazing Art Of Amanda Watt
Northern Irish ‘fusionist’ artist Amanda Watt’s ‘Release’ exhibition in St James’s, London is a must visit suggests Matthew Steeples.
Glorious Goodwood Gin – Great New 43.6% ABV Gin
Matthew Steeples samples the Goodwood estate’s latest creation and finds Levin Down Goodwood Gin utterly glorious.
Libelled Out – Madeleine McCann’s Parents Lose Libel Case In Highest Court In Europe
As Gerry and Kate McCann lose their libel case in the European Court of Human Rights, it is time for the pointless and totally wasteful £14 million search for their daughter to finally wind down.
Shame On Schofield – Plonk Flogging Plonker Causes Outrage By Queue Jumping With No Respect To The Queen
Boxed plonk selling plonker Philip Schofield outrages brilliantly bonkers ‘British Battleaxe’ Christine Hamilton by skipping the queue to pay respects to Her Majesty The Queen.
EDITORIAL
Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples
The Right To Protest v The Responsibility Of Restraint – Protest & Prince Andrew
Matthew Steeples suggests that though people should have the right to protest they and the police also must exercise the responsibility of restraint – especially in the context of the rotten rabid ratbag Prince Andrew.
Cut The Conspiracy Claptrap – Crazy Theories About The Deaths Of Her Majesty The Queen And Jeffrey Epstein Should Be Called-Out As Being As...
Matthew Steeples suggests that the crazy conspiracy claptrap that has followed in the wake of the death of Her Majesty The Queen and the ongoing nonsense that circulates online about Jeffrey Epstein is exactly that; crazy claptrap.
The World Mourns – Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II (1926 – 2022)
As the world mourns the death of Her Majesty The Queen, it is time to remember this remarkable monarch’s dedication, decency and dignity and to celebrate her wonderful contribution to the world.
THE ROLL CALL
A list of influence
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Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples
The Right To Protest v The Responsibility Of Restraint – Protest & Prince Andrew
Matthew Steeples suggests that though people should have the right to protest they and the police also must exercise the responsibility of restraint – especially in the context of the rotten rabid ratbag Prince Andrew.
Cut The Conspiracy Claptrap – Crazy Theories About The Deaths Of Her Majesty The Queen And Jeffrey Epstein Should Be Called-Out As Being As...
Matthew Steeples suggests that the crazy conspiracy claptrap that has followed in the wake of the death of Her Majesty The Queen and the ongoing nonsense that circulates online about Jeffrey Epstein is exactly that; crazy claptrap.
The World Mourns – Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II (1926 – 2022)
As the world mourns the death of Her Majesty The Queen, it is time to remember this remarkable monarch’s dedication, decency and dignity and to celebrate her wonderful contribution to the world.
Luxury and the arts
A Transatlantic Triumph – The Amazing Art Of Amanda Watt
Northern Irish ‘fusionist’ artist Amanda Watt’s ‘Release’ exhibition in St James’s, London is a must visit suggests Matthew Steeples.
SW3’s Smallest – Smallest Stand-Alone House In Chelsea For Sale For Staggering Sum
Smallest stand-alone house in Chelsea for sale for 100% more than it was offered for in 2017; there’s barely room to swing a cat.
Evil Epstein Erased – “Cape Dutch McMansion” To Replace “Paedo Pad” In Palm Beach At Site Of Former Jeffrey Epstein Home
Latest owners of sickening site of Jeffrey Epstein’s Palm Beach £13.2 million “paedo pad” seek to erase memories of what went on there with construction of a “Cape Dutch” style crib.
A ranked assembly of individuals of note along with details of their achievements and quirks
Big Zuu (Birth Name – Zuhair Hassan)
A rapper and grime MC turned TV star of ‘Big Zuu’s Big Eats,’ Zuhair Hassan is an example of a youngster with infectious positivity and great talent. A modern-day Keith Floyd in the making.
Ken Smith (AKA ‘The Hermit of Treig’)
After having been attacked and left for dead aged 26, Derbyshire born Ken Smith found solace in the Scottish Highlands and has lived as a hermit for around 46 years in a cabin that is 27 miles from the nearest settlement. He lives off the land and has 70 gallons of hooch on the go and “wants everyone to be merry” when he dies.
Dr Margaret McCollum (AKA ‘Mrs Mind The Gap’)
Voice of “mind the gap” on London’s Northern Line underground service’s widow Dr Margaret McCollum got him back there.
The snakes and ladders of society
Shame On Schofield – Plonk Flogging Plonker Causes Outrage By Queue Jumping With No Respect To The Queen
Boxed plonk selling plonker Philip Schofield outrages brilliantly bonkers ‘British Battleaxe’ Christine Hamilton by skipping the queue to pay respects to Her Majesty The Queen.
More Mess For Murky Mucky Maxwell – Saga Never Ends
The Maxwell mess continues… Ghislaine Maxwell trial commentator for CNN Page Peter drowns in Georgia as Jeffrey Epstein whistleblower Maria Farmer curiously claims she was planning to move in with his Ponzi scheming “mentor” Steven Hoffenberg before his death; separately Maxwell gets sued by another of her former lawyers.
Me, Me, Me Meghan Mocked – Meghan Markle’s Farcical Manchester Speech Derided
As the dopey Duchess of Sussex is derided for her “me, me, me” speech in Manchester, her pugnacious PR peddler Omid Scobie continues his cretinous campaign against her husband’s family.
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Food, drink and fine dining
Glorious Goodwood Gin – Great New 43.6% ABV Gin
Matthew Steeples samples the Goodwood estate’s latest creation and finds Levin Down Goodwood Gin utterly glorious.
Hero of the Hour 2022 – Crusading £1 Per Head Chef Miguel Barclay
In actually showing the British public how to actually cook a meal costing no more than £1 per head, TV chef Miguel Barclay contributes something useful whereas the likes of food bank fighters Lee Anderson MP and Jack Monroe continue just to carp.
Five Famous Coffee Drinkers – From Bach to Britney
Coffee addict David G. Lennox examines the stories of five famous coffee drinkers – including J. S. Bach and Britney Spears.
From playing the field to buying a team
Run Sarb Run! World record attempt for most half-marathons in 30 days
‘The Steeple Times’ urges readers to support Sarb Singh Dhanoa’s attempt to break the world record for running the most half-marathons in 30 days.
Capreolus Club Canned – A Salute To Jason Atherton For Banning Sick Goat Slayers
After a successful and swift campaign by ‘The Steeple Times,’ chef Jason Atherton is to be saluted for doing the right thing and banning the sickening goat slaying Capreolus Club from his premises; it is time these barbarians were banned full-stop.
Getting Our Goat II – Chef Jason Atherton To Welcome Barbarian Goat Slaying Capreolus Club
As the UK goat slaughtering Capreolus Club swap swanky Mark’s Club for Jason Atherton’s Berners Tavern, we condemn the latter for welcoming such barbarians to their premises.
The economy, politics and current affairs
Libelled Out – Madeleine McCann’s Parents Lose Libel Case In Highest Court In Europe
As Gerry and Kate McCann lose their libel case in the European Court of Human Rights, it is time for the pointless and totally wasteful £14 million search for their daughter to finally wind down.
Moron of the Moment 2022 – Disgusting Queen Baiting Owen Jones
After rightly being crucified for baiting after the death of the Queen, rabid ranter Owen Jones today deservedly comes under fire from the gay community also.
Taking The (Brueckner) Biscuit – No Charges Still In Madeleine McCann Case
As it emerges that the Germans are taking the biscuit and the prospect of Christian Brueckner being charged in the Madeleine McCann case has slimmed further, isn’t it time that this pointless £14 million investigation was closed down?
The comings and goings of the entrepreneurial classes
No Excuses Dick – Shame On Those Trying To Suggest Dame Cressida Dick As Little Miss Innocent
Ghislaine Maxwell’s schoolmate Dame Cressida Dick’s bleating about her deserved demise should be called out as the disgrace that it truly is; with her turfed out with the trash it is now time for institutional change at the Met Police.
Death By Ponzi – Jeffrey Epstein Associate Steven Hoffenberg Found Dead And Decomposing
Ponzi scheming associate of Jeffrey Epstein and chairman of Towers Financial Corporation Steven Hoffenberg found dead and decomposing; revealed first on Twitter by crusading author Kirby Sommers.
Tone Deaf Dwarf – Skinflint Billionaire Bernie Ecclestone Curiously Claims He Can’t Hear In Court
Tone deaf Putin and Prince Andrew bestie Bernie Ecclestone’s claim that he couldn’t hear in court is yet more evidence that this dwarf-like billionaire is completely off-the-scale arrogant.
Science, technology and gadgets
Off With His Head!
As Carrie Johnson continues to be nicknamed ‘Carrie Antoinette,’ she could buy a Napoleonic bone model of a guillotine and shout out “Off with his head!” about her enemies instead of gyrating to Abba with her groupies in her Downing Street flat.
We Have All the Time in the World… Well, We Do If You Have £25k Spare
Pair of limited edition Omega James Bond Seamaster diver watches featuring ‘We Have All the Time in the World’ and the Bond coat of arms to be auctioned.
Ronaldo’s New Clothes
Online equivalent of ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’ set to occur at Bonhams today with auction of £900,000 NFT of Cristiano Ronaldo.
