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    The Steeple Times is an online magazine with a following of upto 880,000 unique views per day on our best day yet.

    • We have 91,000 daily subscribers by email.

    • We typically average around 320,000 unique views per day.

    • We currently have 65 contributing authors who range from students to the actor, writer and producer Steven Berkoff and the champion jockey Frankie Dettori.

    Combining a mix of society’s last word and both wit and wisdom, The Steeple Times covers food, drink and fine dining as well as luxury, travel, the arts, individuals of influence and current affairs in the United Kingdom, America and elsewhere. We are best described as being akin to “a cross between The Huffington Post and Private Eye”.

     

    The magazine’s following is affluent, engaged and international. With 41% of readers coming from the UK and 38% from America, The Steeple Times also has strong presence within Canadian, Italian, German and Australian territories.

     

    A Grand Old Man’s Grand Old Merc – President Félix Houphouët-Boigny – 1967 Mercedes ‘Dictator Car’ owned until 1993 by the first President of Ivory Coast to be auctioned after being restored at vast expense – 1967 Mercedes-Benz 600 Six-Door Pullman to be sold by RM Sotheby’s at their 24th to 27th June 2020 sale in Essen, Germany on behalf of current owner Dr Urich Speicher. An estimate of £220,000 to £247,000 ($273,000 to $306,000, €250,000 to €280,000 or درهم1 million to درهم1.1 million) has been set.

    A Grand Old Man’s Grand Old Merc

    1967 Mercedes ‘Dictator Car’ limousine owned until 1993 by the first President of Ivory Coast to be auctioned after being restored at vast expense Félix Houphouët-Boigny (whom claimed to be born in 1908, but was more likely born in 1905, and died in 1993) was known variously as ‘Papa Houphou ...   Continue reading

    • Headline News

    Put A Stamp In It – Pensioner Dave French gets angry about stamps – Bath pensioner gets very, very, very worked up about the quality of stamps available in a Post Office in a WHSmith store.

    Put A Stamp In It

    Bath pensioner gets very, very, very worked up about the quality of stamps available in a Post Office in a WHSmith store Right now, whilst most people are either worrying about the ...   Continue reading

    Moron of the Moment – Lindsay Lohan Washed-up wench Lindsay Lohan sinks to a new low during coronavirus crisis and attempts to relaunch her tawdry self on April Fool’s Day.

    Moron of the Moment – Lindsay Lohan

    Lindsay Lohan sinks to a new low during the coronavirus crisis and attempts to relaunch her tawdry self on April Fool’s Day; the washed-up wench claims to be “evolving” Loath ...   Continue reading

    A COVID-19 Respite for NHS Workers in SW7 – Flat for £65 per night – Luxurious South Kensington apartment offered to NHS workers for 75% less than it generally rents for during the coronavirus crisis. Offered by actress, film producer and film financier Alexa Jago – who is also involved in military charities and was executive producer of Kajaki, the true British war docu-drama.

    A Respite for NHS Workers in SW7

    Luxurious South Kensington apartment offered to NHS workers for 75% less than it generally rents for during the coronavirus crisis by film producer Alexa Jago A born and bred Royal ...   Continue reading

    THE ROLL CALL

    A list of influence

    EDITORIAL

    Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples
    • Putting The Police Right – George Osborne & Lord Sumption on COVID-19 – George Osborne is right to call out the police whilst Lord Sumption is spot on in suggesting we should not put up with a “police state.”

      Putting The Police Right

      Former Chancellor George Osborne is right to call out the police whilst Lord Sumption is spot on in suggesting we should not put up with a “police state” suggests Matthew Steep ...   Continue reading

    • A Double Fail – Mail on Sunday blame Barnier for BoJo’s coronavirus – ‘The Mail on Sunday’ went far too far in attempting to blame Michel Barnier for Boris Johnson getting coronavirus and the Chinese for virtually everything else. Sunday 29th March 2020.

      A Double Fail

      ‘The Mail on Sunday’ went far too far in attempting to blame Michel Barnier for Boris Johnson getting coronavirus and the Chinese for virtually everything else; they deservedly ...   Continue reading

    • Shame on the Met – Met Police shouldn’t waste resources on Madeleine McCann – At a time when public resources are totally overstretched, that the Met Police are set to waste more money on the plainly pointless search for Madeleine McCann is an outrage.

      Shame on the Met

      Matthew Steeples suggests that at a time when public resources are totally overstretched, that the Met Police are set to waste more money on the plainly pointless search for Madele ...   Continue reading

    • Moron of the Moment – Policeman biter James Abbott-Thompson – Diane Abbott’s policeman biting son James Abbott-Thompson is proof of her own inadequacies as a parent; this loopy Labour MP should get her own house in order before lecturing others.

      Moron of the Moment – James Abbott-Thompson

      Diane Abbott’s policeman biting son is proof of her own inadequacies as a parent; this loopy Labour MP should get her own house in order before lecturing others Diane Abbott is k ...   Continue reading

    • Heroine of the Hour – Lady Glenconner on coronavirus – Lady Glenconner speaks sense amidst the media encouraging panic over the coronavirus outbreak in Britain.

      Heroine of the Hour – Lady Glenconner

      Lady Glenconner speaks sense amidst the media encouraging panic over the coronavirus outbreak in Britain In today’s Guardian, Lady Glenconner, the former lady-in-waiting to the l ...   Continue reading

    • Taking The Flack

      Matthew Steeples suggests that both the press and the legal system have a lot to answer for in the wake of the death of Caroline Flack The media created her and the media took her ...   Continue reading

    • Oh Good Grief – Reaction to “coming out” Phillip Schofield is laughable – Matthew Steeples suggests the fuss about Phillip Schofield “coming out” as gay is nothing but a storm in a teacup.

      Oh Good Grief!

      Matthew Steeples suggests the fuss about Phillip Schofield “coming out” as gay is nothing but a storm in a teacup This week, “the silver soufflé” that is Phillip Schofield ...   Continue reading

    • MeGain Goes Commercial – Shame on the Duke and Duchess of Sussex – Matthew Steeples joins those condemning the ‘Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ and her under-the-thumb hubbie ‘Prince Halfwit.’

      MeGain Flies Commercial

      Matthew Steeples joins those condemning the ‘Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ and her under-the-thumb hubbie ‘Prince Halfwit’ Today is the Duchess of Cambridge’s birthday, so natu ...   Continue reading

    • A Kimono Too Far – Jolyon Maugham killed a fox, Twitterati went mad – The reaction to Jolyon Maugham’s somewhat ill-thought tweet about killing a fox (whilst wearing a kimono) has been ludicrous.

      A Kimono Too Far

      Matthew Steeples suggests the reaction to Jolyon Maugham’s somewhat ill-thought tweet about killing a fox (whilst wearing a kimono) to be ludicrous at a time when thousands freez ...   Continue reading

    • A Wary Eye – An analysis of the 2019 General Election campaign – Matthew Steeples reflects on the losing campaign he supported in the 2019 General Election and what will come next.

      A Wary Eye

      Matthew Steeples reflects on the losing campaign he supported in the 2019 General Election and what will come next; here he gives ten outtakes from the result This morning on Adam ...   Continue reading

    • Closure & Clifford – Max Clifford inquest reveals his luxurious existence in jail even – The inquest into the paedophile monster Max Clifford’s death in prison reveals that even whilst locked up he lived the high-life.

      Closure & Clifford

      The inquest into the paedophile monster Max Clifford’s death in prison reveals that even whilst locked up he lived the high-life; those that enabled him in the clink have questio ...   Continue reading

    • Troubles at The Tele – Why has The Telegraph fallen into decline? Matthew Steeples analyses ‘The Telegraph’s’ decline and laments its likely future in the land of bubblegum journalism and fluff.

      It’s Grim at The Tele

      Matthew Steeples analyses ‘The Telegraph’s’ decline and laments its likely future in the land of bubblegum journalism and fluff It’s Grim Up North was a 1991 single by The ...   Continue reading

    • Grating Greta – Greta Thunberg means well but gets it so wrong – Matthew Steeples suggests Greta Thunberg to be well meaning but misguided; her approach to environmental issues is beyond over-simplistic.

      Grating Greta

      Matthew Steeples suggests Greta Thunberg to be well meaning but misguided; her approach to environmental issues and innovation is beyond over-simplistic Sixteen year old ‘eco war ...   Continue reading

    • Bloomberg For President – Michael Bloomberg vs. Donald Trump – Michael Bloomberg is the man who can beat Donald Trump and his likely entry into the race to become President is to be saluted.

      Bloomberg For President

      Michael Bloomberg is the man who can beat Donald Trump and his likely entry into the race to become President is to be celebrated suggests Matthew Steeples Michael Bloomberg KBE, 7 ...   Continue reading

    • Royally Ridiculous – Royal Court Theatre should not be banning bottles – The Royal Court’s decision to ban theatregoers from bringing in single-use plastic bottles is utterly ludicrous suggests Matthew Steeples.

      Royally Ridiculous

      The Royal Court’s decision to ban theatregoers from bringing in single-use plastic bottles is utterly ludicrous suggests Matthew Steeples The Royal Court Theatre on Sloane Square ...   Continue reading

    • A Must March – People’s Vote March, London, 19th October 2019 – ‘The Steeple Times’s’ Matthew Steeples urges readers to join the Together for the Final Say People’s Vote March in London tomorrow.

      A Must March

      ‘The Steeple Times’s’ Matthew Steeples urges readers to join the Together for the Final Say People’s Vote March in London tomorrow I’m not normally one for protest marche ...   Continue reading

    • Real News – Dawn Ward and Norah Lawlor attack The Steeple Times – As Dawn Ward suggests ‘The Steeple Times’ is short of news, publicist for animal charity backed by Trumps brands us “fake news.”

      Real News

      As dimwitted Dawn Ward suggests ‘The Steeple Times’ is short of news, publicist for animal charity backed by the Trumps brands us “fake news” George Orwell once stated: “ ...   Continue reading

    • No Joke Joker – That Warner Brothers decided to use a song by the incarcerated paedophile Gary Glitter in their new film ‘Joker’ is utterly disgraceful suggests Matthew Steeples.

      No Joke Joker

      That Warner Brothers decided to use a song by the incarcerated paedophile Gary Glitter in their new film ‘Joker’ is utterly disgraceful suggests Matthew Steeples “Public hate ...   Continue reading

    • MeGain’s Mail Mess – The Duchess of Sussex’s decision to sue the Mail on Sunday is the wrong course of action; she ought to instead make peace with her family suggests Matthew Steeples

      MeGain’s Mail Mess

      The Duchess of Sussex’s decision to sue the Mail on Sunday is the wrong course of action; she ought to instead make peace with her family suggests Matthew Steeples In deciding to ...   Continue reading

    • A News Nightmare – Right wing media need to take responsibility for the mess – Matthew Steeples analyses how the mess that is Boris Johnson Britain has engulfed any impartiality the right wing press had left.

      A News Nightmare

      Matthew Steeples analyses how the mess that is Boris Johnson Britain has engulfed any impartiality the right wing press had left With The Telegraph even suggesting Boris Johnson re ...   Continue reading

    • Picture of the Week – Bankrupt Belgravia – Matthew Steeples condemns Westminster Council, Grosvenor and others for doing little to nothing to help the homeless in Belgravia.

      Picture of the Week – Bankrupt Belgravia

      Matthew Steeples condemns Westminster Council, landowners Grosvenor and others for doing little to nothing to help the homeless in Belgravia Most days I go to Sainsbury’s in Eliz ...   Continue reading

    • Bog Off Brazen Boris – Boris Johnson is wrong to prorogue Parliament – Matthew Steeples suggests Boris Johnson proroguing parliament is an outrage; he comes out in support of the High Court challenge by Gina Miller – who is elsewhere backed by James Stunt.

      Bog Off Brazen Boris

      Matthew Steeples suggests Boris Johnson proroguing parliament is an outrage; he comes out in support of the High Court challenge by Gina Miller – who is elsewhere backed by James ...   Continue reading

    • Turfing Out The Trash – The royal family – Does it have a purpose? The royal family needs to wash its hands of its hangers on suggests Matthew Steeples.

      Turfing Out The Trash

      The royal family needs to wash its hands of its hangers on suggests Matthew Steeples With even the staunchly royalist Daily Mail condemning Prince Andrew and his on-off ex-wife, Za ...   Continue reading

    • Hypocrite Harry – Tedious twerps Duke and Duchess of Sussex – That the hypocrite Prince Harry and his tedious wife have come to rely on Sir Elton John to defend them about sums up how ghastly they truly are suggests Matthew Steeples – Private Jet travel criticism.

      Hypocrite Harry

      That the hypocrite Prince Harry and his tedious twerp of a wife have come to rely on Sir Elton John to defend them about sums up how ghastly they truly are suggests Matthew Steeple ...   Continue reading

    • Banishing Boris – Conservative majority in parliament is now just one – Matthew Steeples suggests Boris Johnson must face up to the fact that his majority is likely to disappear.

      Banishing Boris

      Matthew Steeples suggests Boris Johnson must face up to the fact that his majority is likely to disappear Last night after the Lib Dems stormed to victory in Brecon & Radnorshi ...   Continue reading

    • Murky Mucky’s Magazine Mess – Duchess of Sussex guest edits Vogue – Matthew Steeples suggests the Duchess of Sussex ought to give up any ambition to become a magazine editor.

      Murky Mucky’s Magazine Mess

      Matthew Steeples suggests the Duchess of Sussex ought to give up any ambition to become a magazine editor The Duchess of Sussex just cannot help herself. This mendacious meddler, i ...   Continue reading

    • The Steeple Times is Back – Apologies for the delay – The Steeple Times returns.

      The Steeple Times is Back

      Apologies for the delay – The Steeple Times returns You may have noticed we’ve not published anything for quite a while. Our most sincere apologies for this – but now, to mis ...   Continue reading

    • The Stupidity of The Standard – In backing Boris Johnson as the candidate best able to “give Britain back its mojo” today, the Evening Standard lets down London suggests Matthew Steeples

      The Stupidity of The Standard

      In backing Boris Johnson as the candidate best able to “give Britain back its mojo” today, the Evening Standard lets down London suggests Matthew Steeples London is a city that ...   Continue reading

    • Dimwitted Davidson – London says good riddance to Jim Davidson – That Jim Davidson has announced he doesn’t ever want to set foot in London again is something to be celebrated suggests Matthew Steeples

      Dimwitted Davidson

      That Jim Davidson has announced he doesn’t ever want to set foot in London again is something to be celebrated suggests Matthew Steeples Sadiq Khan is undoubtedly an irritating p ...   Continue reading

    • An Outrage Too Far – Jo Brand went too far, but the reaction is stupid – The reaction to Jo Brand’s ill-placed ‘joke’ is somewhat overblown suggests Matthew Steeples; that she angered Nigel Farage is just brilliant.

      An Outrage Too Far

      The reaction to Jo Brand’s ill-placed ‘joke’ is somewhat overblown suggests Matthew Steeples; that she angered Nigel Farage is just brilliant Jo Brand certainly put her foot ...   Continue reading

    OPULENCE & SPLENDOUR

    Luxury and the arts
    • A Grand Old Man’s Grand Old Merc – President Félix Houphouët-Boigny – 1967 Mercedes ‘Dictator Car’ owned until 1993 by the first President of Ivory Coast to be auctioned after being restored at vast expense – 1967 Mercedes-Benz 600 Six-Door Pullman to be sold by RM Sotheby’s at their 24th to 27th June 2020 sale in Essen, Germany on behalf of current owner Dr Urich Speicher. An estimate of £220,000 to £247,000 ($273,000 to $306,000, €250,000 to €280,000 or درهم1 million to درهم1.1 million) has been set.

      A Grand Old Man’s Grand Old Merc

      1967 Mercedes ‘Dictator Car’ limousine owned until 1993 by the first President of Ivory Coast to be auctioned after being restored at vast expense Félix Houphouët-Boigny (who ...   Continue reading

    • A Corona Getaway in London – Residence at The Milestone Hotel, 1 Kensington Court, Kensington, London, W8 5DL, United Kingdom – For those looking to self-isolate in luxury in London, taking a ‘residence’ at The Milestone Hotel in Kensington could be the perfect option. Two bedroom suite apartment available for £7,700 per week ($9,600, €8,600 or درهم35,200 per week) or the equivalent of £550 per room per night ($685, €615 or درهم2,515 per room per night).

      A Corona Getaway in London

      For those looking to self-isolate in luxury in London, taking a ‘residence’ at The Milestone Hotel in Kensington could be the perfect option (if you’ve got £7,700 per week t ...   Continue reading

    • Going Thin – Two Into One? The Thin House, 5 Thurloe Square, South Kensington, London, SW7 2TA, United Kingdom. Second apartment in South Kensington’s famous ‘Thin House’ comes to the market in March 2020 after another has languished for sale for four years since 2016. Second floor for sale through Winkworth for £875,000. Third floor for sale through Rokstone for £895,000.

      Going Thin – Two Into One?

      Second apartment in South Kensington’s famous ‘Thin House’ comes to the market after another has languished for sale for four years; the two could potentially be merged to ma ...   Continue reading

    • Muting Masterpiece – Masterpiece London 2020 cancelled due to coronavirus – Highlight of the art and antiques calendar, Masterpiece London, announces its 2020 fair has been cancelled due to coronavirus.

      Muting Masterpiece

      Highlight of the art and antiques calendar, Masterpiece London, announces its 2020 fair has been cancelled due to coronavirus The brainchild of renowned dealer Harry Apter and thre ...   Continue reading

    • A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea – Actor Harry Fowler’s apartment for sale Art deco mansion block apartment in Chesil Court, Chelsea Manor Street, Chelsea, London, SW3 5QS, United Kingdom that was once home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler for sale for £975,000.

      A Cockney Paradise in Chelsea

      Art deco mansion block apartment in Chelsea that was once home to the “cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler for sale “Cheeky Cockney” actor Harry Fowler MBE (1926 – 2012) a ...   Continue reading

    • A Belgravian Yo-Yo – £3m for Orpheo House, 50a Eaton Square, Belgravia, London, SW1W 9BE, United Kingdom down from £4.5m through agents Rokstone– Nicky Haslam designed Belgravia house for sale for 33% less than in 2010 in spite of yoyo-ing up and down in price for ten years.

      A Belgravian Yo-Yo

      Nicky Haslam designed Belgravia house for sale for 33% less than in 2010 in spite of yoyo-ing up and down in price for ten years Estate agents like to make things sound grander gen ...   Continue reading

    • A Poirot Curve – Curve shaped neo-Georgian house that wouldn’t look out of place in an Agatha Christie Poirot novel on the St. George’s Hill estate in Surrey for sale for an extraordinary sum. Hamstone House, South Ridge, St. Georges Hill, Weybridge KT13 0NF, United Kingdom is offered for £16 million ($18.4 million, €17.2million or درهم67.6 million) by agents Beauchamp Estates.

      A Poirot Curve

      Curve shaped neo-Georgian house that wouldn’t look out of place in an Agatha Christie Poirot novel on the St. George’s Hill estate in Surrey for sale for an extraordinary sum F ...   Continue reading

    • A Seat or a Smallholding? Two seats at the Albert Hall vs. Smallholding – Two seats at the Royal Albert Hall for sale leasehold; their £300,000 price is equivalent to buying a renovated freehold smallholding in Scotland. Agents: Harrods Estates and South West Property Centre.

      A Seat or a Smallholding?

      Two seats at the Royal Albert Hall for sale leasehold; their price is equivalent to buying a freehold smallholding with 2.47 acres of land and a renovated 4-bedroom house in Scotla ...   Continue reading

    • A Reverend’s Residence - £975,000 for Hailsham Grange, Vicarage Road, Hailsham, Wealden, East Sussex, BN27 1BL at Savills auction on 26th March 2020 – Part vacant Grade II* listed Queen Anne former vicarage in East Sussex to be auctioned online (due to the coronavirus outbreak).

      A Reverend’s Residence

      Part vacant Grade II* listed Queen Anne former vicarage in East Sussex to be auctioned online (due to the coronavirus outbreak) With social distancing becoming increasingly common ...   Continue reading

    • Blown Out Cheap In Chelsea – Cheap studio flat in Chelsea, SW10 – First floor flat in Redcliffe Gardens, Chelsea, London, SW10 for sale for just £150,000 in spite of having a 61 year lease; the street was made famous in The Beatles song ‘A Day in the Life’ – Offered by May & Co.

      Blown Out Cheap In Chelsea

      First floor flat in Redcliffe Gardens, Chelsea for sale for just £150,000 in spite of having a 61 year lease; the street was made famous in a song by The Beatles A flat in Redclif ...   Continue reading

    • A Savvy Pad – £2.5 million for Peter de Savary’s motor yacht – Unusual river barge and motor yacht combo owned by Peter de Savary for sale through River Homes; it is currently moored at Cadogan Pier in Chelsea.

      A Savvy Pad

      Unusual river barge and motor yacht combo owned by “quite possibly the most interesting man in the world” Peter de Savary for sale; it is currently moored at Cadogan Pier in Ch ...   Continue reading

    • Caravan Calamity – Lloyd Smith and Low Wood, Haverthwaite caravan park – Angry caravan owner complains to local newspaper after his sardine tin is told to move on.

      Caravan Calamity

      Angry caravan owner complains to local newspaper after he and his sardine tin are told to move on Nobody sane would wish to spend their holidays in a glorified sardine tin, but now ...   Continue reading

    • Change From £100k – London Classic Car Show 2020 – New contributor and classic cars enthusiast Theodora Ong covets roadsters with wings, curves and chrome at the London Classic Car Show 2020.

      Change From £100k

      New contributor and classic cars enthusiast Theodora Ong covets roadsters with wings, curves and chrome at the London Classic Car Show 2020 If you dashed over to this year’s Lond ...   Continue reading

    • A Cottage or a Cage? £375,000 for a farmhouse vs. same sum for a cage – Knightsbridge ‘cage’ in an underground car park for sale for the same price as a 6 bedroom former farmhouse in 1 acre in Scotland.

      A Cottage or a Cage?

      Knightsbridge ‘cage’ in an underground car park for sale for the same price as a 6 bedroom former farmhouse in 1 acre in Scotland In Kincardineshire, you’ll get a 4,090 squar ...   Continue reading

    • Gassed in a Gothic Box – £2.95 million for 22 Bury Walk, Chelsea, London, SW3 6QB through Russell Simpson – ‘Gothic box’ in Chelsea where theatrical designer Sophie Fedorovitch was accidentally gassed to death for sale for £2.95 million.

      Gassed in a Gothic Box

      ‘Gothic box’ in Chelsea where theatrical designer Sophie Fedorovitch was accidentally gassed to death for sale for £2.95 million Nicky Haslam wrote fondly of 22 Bury Walk – ...   Continue reading

    • A Cottage With A Catch - £35,000 for cottage in Uckfield, East Sussex – Victorian country cottage in picturesque rural setting in East Sussex for sale for less than a new BMW 3 series saloon – 1 Jubilee Cottages, Eastbourne Road, Uckfield, East Sussex, TN22 5QN, United Kingdom to be sold at auction by Savills on 12th February 2020 at The Marriott Hotel, Grosvenor Square, London, W1K 6JP.

      A Cottage With A Catch

      Victorian country cottage in picturesque rural setting in East Sussex for sale for less than a new BMW 3 series saloon A brand new BMW 3 series saloon will set you back approximate ...   Continue reading

    • A Cut-Price Gulbenkian – Ex-Nubar Gulbenkian Rolls-Royce for sale – Rolls-Royce owned by eccentric tycoon Nubar Gulbenkian expected to sell for just £30,000 in spite of £200,000 spent on restoration to date – Offered by Historics Auctioneers at Ascot Racecourse on 7th March 2020 with no reserve.

      A Cut-Price Gulbenkian

      Rolls-Royce owned by eccentric tycoon Nubar Gulbenkian expected to sell for just £30,000 in spite of £200,000 spent on restoration to date Last August, we reported on a Mercedes- ...   Continue reading

    • Britain’s Cheapest Freehold? £100 for a flying freehold room in Nene Quay, Wisbech, Cambridgeshire, PE13 1AQ, United Kingdom through William H. Brown – Waterfront property in Wisbech, Cambridgeshire heads to auction for an extraordinarily low price.

      Britain’s Cheapest Freehold?

      Waterfront property in Wisbech, Cambridgeshire heads to auction for an extraordinarily low price A property – if you can call it such – that extends to approximately 129.17 squ ...   Continue reading

    • A Cut Price Mucky Motor – Repossessed Katie Price Range Rover for sale – Saxton 4x4 slash the asking price for the especially hideously coloured ex-Katie Price ‘Barbie Rosa’ pink 2015 Land Rover Range Rover to £50,000.

      A Cut Price Mucky Motor

      Asking price for the hideously coloured ex-Katie Price ‘Barbie Rosa’ pink Range Rover slashed; no mention made by sellers as to whether it’s been cleaned up On her uppers and ...   Continue reading

    • Portered Art – £950,000 for studio in Chelsea Studios, 414 – 416 Fulham Road, London, SW6 1EB, United Kingdom – Charming hidden artist’s studio next to Chelsea Football Club for sale in Chelsea Studios, SW6 for £950,000 through Marsh & Parsons.

      Portered Art

      Charming hidden artist’s studio next to Chelsea Football Club for sale A 794 square foot one bedroom raised ground floor apartment complete with a space now used as an art studio ...   Continue reading

    • A Castle of Commerce – £60.3 million ($79 million, €70.6 million or درهم290.1 million)for penthouse at Woolworth Tower Residences, Woolworth Building, 2 Park Place, 233 Broadway, New York, United States of America – Penthouse in “the cathedral of commerce” that is the Woolworth Building in NYC for sale for £60min spite of just being a raw space.

      A Castle of Commerce

      Penthouse in “the cathedral of commerce” that is the Woolworth Building in New York for sale for £60 million in spite of just being a raw space Boldly described by developers ...   Continue reading

    • Dr II Poo – Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen, registration “Dr II Poo” – Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen spotted with a lavatory related numberplate in Chelsea.

      Dr II Poo

      Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen spotted with a lavatory related numberplate in Chelsea There’s tasteless and there’s lavatorial humour.   A Mercedes-Benz G-Wagen spotted on the Kings Ro ...   Continue reading

    • A Bonkers Priced Box – A box at Royal Albert Hall for £3 million or a castle in Durham for the same price? Box seating twelve people at the Royal Albert Hall for sale for the same price as a 15,000 square foot ‘castle’ in County Durham. Agents: Harrods Estates and Urban Base.

      A Bonkers Priced Box

      Box seating twelve people at the Royal Albert Hall for sale for the same price as a 15,000 square foot ‘castle’ in County Durham A box at the Royal Albert Hall has gone on sale ...   Continue reading

    • Pugin & Panic – £9,000 per month for Oswaldcroft, Woolton Road, Woolton, Childwall, Liverpool, L16 8NG, United Kingdom through Denton Clark Rentals – Pugin designed mansion with two panic rooms for rent in Liverpool; its décor leaves a lot to be desired but it does come with a beer pump.

      Pugin & Panic

      Pugin designed 14,000 square foot mansion with two panic rooms for rent in Liverpool; its décor leaves a lot to be desired but it does come with a beer pump A gaudily decorated Gr ...   Continue reading

    • A Hell of a House – Section of Knightsbridge church conversion for sale for 5,000% more than it sold for in 1998 or 450% more than it fetched in 2003 – St Saviour’s House, Walton Street, Knightsbridge, London, SW3 1SA for sale for £55 million ($73 million, €66 million or درهم269 million) through Knight Frank.

      A Hell of a House

      Section of Knightsbridge church conversion for sale for 5,000% more than it sold for in 1998 or 450% more than it fetched in 2003; this £55 million property is more hellish than h ...   Continue reading

    • An Electric Mansion - £37,000 for 113 North Street, Auburn, New York – Victorian New York state mansion in the area where the world’s first execution by electric chair occurred goes on sale for just £37,000 –James Seymour Mansion, 113 North Street, Auburn, Cayuga County, New York, NY 13021, United States of America – For sale for £37,000 ($50,000, €45,000 or درهم184,000) with a deadline of 5pm on Wednesday 18th December 2019 through Michael DeRosa.

      An Electric Mansion

      Victorian New York state mansion in the area where the world’s first execution by electric chair occurred goes on sale for just £37,000 in spite of being tax assessed for a far ...   Continue reading

    • O (Costly) Christmas Tree, O (Costly) Christmas Tree – London declared “more merry” than New York as it is revealed Christmas trees in the former can be had for sums 50,000% less than the latter. Claridge’s, Poundland, Home Bargains, Maddox Gallery, Annabel’s, Tamara Ecclestone, Soho Trees, Cindy Adams, Aretha Franklin.

      O (Costly) Christmas Tree, O (Costly) Christmas Tree

      London declared “more merry” than New York as it is revealed Christmas trees in the former can be had for sums 50,000% less than the latter in 2019 Aside from the American high ...   Continue reading

    • A Hovel House – Not so miserable looking house named ‘The Hovel’ on the quaintly named ‘Duck Lane’ for sale for virtually the same price as in 2005 – £400,000 for The Hovel, Duck Lane, Ludgershall, Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire, HP18 9XZ through agents Michael Graham in November 2019.

      A Hovel House

      Not so miserable looking medieval cottage rather unfortunately named ‘The Hovel’ on the quaintly named ‘Duck Lane’ for sale for virtually the same price as in 2005 Describe ...   Continue reading

    • A Porsche or a Pad? – One bedroom, first floor flat in Cadogan Gardens, Chelsea, London, SW3 for sale for just £175,000 through Russell Simpson. Alternatively Hexagon Classics have a 1992 Porsche 911 (964) Carrera RS Lightweight from Hexagon Classics. They have one on offer for £179,995.

      A Porsche or a Pad?

      One bedroom, first floor flat in Cadogan Gardens, Chelsea for sale for less than the price of a 1992 Porsche 911 A 754 square foot apartment on the first floor of a red brick Victo ...   Continue reading

    • A Grand Grosser – 1965 Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman for sale – “As good as new” 1965 Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman “dictator car” to be sold at auction in London by Bonhams. They offer the limousine at their 7th December 2019 sale at their New Bond Street showroom and have set an estimate of £300,000 to £500,000 ($388,000 to $646,000, €352,000 to €586,000 or درهم1.4 million to درهم2.4 million).

      A Grand Grosser

      “As good as new” 1965 Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman “dictator car” to be sold at auction in London for a staggering sum A “like new” 1965 Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman saloon i ...   Continue reading

    MOVERS & SHAKERS

    The snakes and ladders of society
    • Put A Stamp In It – Pensioner Dave French gets angry about stamps – Bath pensioner gets very, very, very worked up about the quality of stamps available in a Post Office in a WHSmith store.

      Put A Stamp In It

      Bath pensioner gets very, very, very worked up about the quality of stamps available in a Post Office in a WHSmith store Right now, whilst most people are either worrying about the ...   Continue reading

    • Moron of the Moment – Lindsay Lohan Washed-up wench Lindsay Lohan sinks to a new low during coronavirus crisis and attempts to relaunch her tawdry self on April Fool’s Day.

      Moron of the Moment – Lindsay Lohan

      Lindsay Lohan sinks to a new low during the coronavirus crisis and attempts to relaunch her tawdry self on April Fool’s Day; the washed-up wench claims to be “evolving” Loath ...   Continue reading

    • Guardian Gets Giddy – The Guardian tells readers to call sex chatlines – Coronavirus has plainly sent the ‘Guardian’s’ editorial team giddy; they’re now urging their readers to call sex chatlines.

      Guardian Gets Giddy

      Coronavirus has plainly sent the ‘Guardian’s’ editorial team giddy; they’re now urging their readers to call sex chatlines One has traditionally associated the Guardian wit ...   Continue reading

    • Wally of the Week – Sarah, Duchess of York sticks her oar in over coronavirus – Sarah, Duchess of York sticks her oar in over coronavirus, but makes no mention of the benefit the outbreak has given her husband Prince Andrew in relation to the Jeffrey Epstein ‘problem’

      Wally of the Week – Sarah, Duchess of York

      Sarah, Duchess of York sticks her oar in over coronavirus, but makes no mention of the benefit the outbreak has given her husband in relation to the Jeffrey Epstein ‘problem’ O ...   Continue reading

    • Inapproriate Anth’ – Anthea Turner mocks coronavirus – Anthea Turner makes an inappropriate joke about coronavirus in referencing her knicker flashing chum Lizzie Cundy as ‘Cundyvirus’

      Inapproriate Anth’

      Anthea Turner makes an inappropriate joke about coronavirus in referencing her knicker flashing chum Lizzie Cundy as ‘Cundyvirus’ Anthea Turner can be relied upon to swing into ...   Continue reading

    • Clothing Famous Kids – Clothing trends of rich and famous children – Lucy Smith shares her thoughts about the trends in the clothing choices of the children of royalty and the rich and famous.

      Clothing Famous Kids

      Lucy Smith shares her thoughts about the trends in the clothing choices of the children of royalty and the rich and famous The attire of children of royalty and those of the rich a ...   Continue reading

    • Overheard – 15th March 2020– Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’

      Overheard – 15th March 2020

      Clangers overheard and snippets spotted by readers of ‘The Steeple Times’ Laughable Drinks “I’ll have a Seedlip [a disgusting tasting, overpriced non-alcoholic spirit that ...   Continue reading

    • Roasting Randy Andy – Caitlin Moran destroys Prince Andrew – Caitlin Moran sums up the Duke of York perfectly in mocking the deviant royal’s creepiness. Prince Andrew gets rightly roasted.

      Roasting Randy Andy

      Caitlin Moran sums up the Duke of York perfectly in mocking the deviant royal’s creepiness There’s awkward and then there’s Prince Andrew and then there’s awful and there ...   Continue reading

    • Schofield Axed – Philip Schofield’s new TV show axed – Fresh from ‘outing’ himself Phillip Schofield finds his new television series ‘How To Spend It Well’ axed in the wake of allegations of an affair with a young man named Matt McGreevy.

      Schofield Axed

      Fresh from ‘outing’ himself Phillip Schofield finds his new television series ‘How To Spend It Well’ axed After outing himself and facing allegations of an affair with a yo ...   Continue reading

    • Stick A Sock On – Loafers and the socks or no socks question – Matthew Steeples criticises ‘The Telegraph’ for suggesting men can wear loafers without socks.

      Stick A Sock On

      Matthew Steeples criticises ‘The Telegraph’ for suggesting men can wear loafers without socks According to this morning’s Telegraph, “2020 is the year of the loafer, appare ...   Continue reading

    TIPPLE & FARE

    Food, drink and fine dining
    • More Matters Marmalade – Part IV – Guardian readers on marmalade – As some ‘Guardian’ readers attempt to move on from marmalade, others demand the “marmalade saga” is allowed to continue on the letters pages.

      More Matters Marmalade – Part IV

      As some ‘Guardian’ readers attempt to move on from marmalade, others demand the “marmalade saga” is allowed to continue on the letters pages Readers of the Guardian have be ...   Continue reading

    • Riccardo’s Responds – Riccardo’s in Chelsea helps during coronavirus – Riccardo’s Italian restaurant in Chelsea leads the way in showing community mindedness during the coronavirus outbreak. 126 Fulham Road, Chelsea, London, SW3 6HU.

      Riccardo’s Responds

      Riccardo’s restaurant in Chelsea leads the way in showing community mindedness during the coronavirus outbreak Across the land small businesses are doing their bit for their comm ...   Continue reading

    • Hero of the Hour – Anonymous Fish & Chip Donor – Good Samaritan paying for villagers of Denchworth, Oxfordshire to have fish and chips once per week from their local pub, The Fox, during the coronavirus lockdown deserves to be saluted.

      Hero of the Hour – Anonymous Fish & Chip Donor

      Good Samaritan paying for villagers of Denchworth, Oxfordshire to have fish and chips once per week during the coronavirus lockdown deserves to be saluted For the next three months ...   Continue reading

    • More Matters Marmalade – Part III – ‘Guardian’ readers continue their debate about marmalade (and reference how they’re interacting with it during coronavirus).

      More Matters Marmalade – Part III

      ‘Guardian’ readers continue their debate about marmalade (and reference how they’re interacting with it during coronavirus) In Tuesday’s letter pages in the Guardian, one C ...   Continue reading

    • Picture of the Week – A Fish Finger F**k Up – As coronavirus panic buying hits supermarkets, Tesco show they’ve lost the plot when it comes to pricing Birds Eye fish fingers.

      Picture of the Week – A Fish Finger F**k Up

      As coronavirus panic buying hits supermarkets, Tesco show they’ve lost the plot when it comes to pricing Birds Eye fish fingers Tesco operates by the mantra that “Every Little ...   Continue reading

    • Considering Corned Beef – Daniel Farrington writes to Derby Telegraph – Angry man sends bizarre letter to local newspaper to complain about the design of corned beef tins.

      Considering Corned Beef

      Angry man sends bizarre letter to local newspaper to complain about the design of corned beef tins There are people with too much time on their hands and then there’s Daniel Farr ...   Continue reading

    • More Matters of Marmalade – Part II – ‘Guardian’ readers continue their debate about marmalade (and get rather het up about the variety made with grapefruit).

      More Matters of Marmalade – Part II

      ‘Guardian’ readers continue their debate about marmalade (and get rather het up about the variety made with grapefruit) We thought they’d finished with this particular topic, ...   Continue reading

    • Who Sells Roger Rabbit? Why don’t supermarkets sell rabbit? In spite of being popular with the media classes as a meat of choice, Matthew Steeples asks: Why don’t supermarkets sell rabbit?

      Who Sells Roger Rabbit?

      In spite of being popular with the media classes as a meat of choice, Matthew Steeples asks: ‘Why don’t supermarkets sell rabbit?’ Last week in The Times, I came across a rec ...   Continue reading

    • With Friends Like These… Bernie Ecclestone and the Duke of York – That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached.

      With Friends Like These…

      That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the diminutive skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached ‘Randy Andy’ has never been considered capable ...   Continue reading

    • McGee Magic – Debbie McGee appears in advert for crappy kitchen makeover company Kitchen Magic – “The Lovely Debbie McGee” hits a new low in appearing in adverts for a crappy kitchen makeover company (with captions across her cleavage).

      McGee Magic

      “The Lovely Debbie McGee” hits a new low in appearing in adverts for a crappy kitchen makeover company (with captions across her cleavage) The late Caroline Aherne (AKA Mrs Mer ...   Continue reading

    • Damp Chips – Joanne Leaman complains to local newspaper – Moaning granny complains to local newspaper about being treated like “trailer trash” after being “forced” to eat chips in the rain.

      Damp Chips

      Moaning granny complains to local newspaper about being treated like “trailer trash” after being “forced” to eat chips in the rain Joanne Leaman – a chav-like woman resem ...   Continue reading

    • The Kratom Craze – An examination of the facts about kratom – a herb you’ve likely never heard of.

      The Kratom Craze

      An examination of the facts about kratom – a herb you’ve likely never heard of Mitragyna Speciosa (commonly known as kratom) is a mind-altering drug you’ve likely never heard ...   Continue reading

    • Peeved – Angry granny Mary Ingamells complains about wood in peas – Angry granny Mary Ingamells contacts press to complain about finding a piece of wood in a tin of Tesco carrots and peas; she can also still feel a piece of orange in her throat that was there when she was two.

      A Peeved Pensioner

      Angry granny Mary Ingamells contacts press to complain about finding a piece of wood in a tin of Tesco carrots and peas; she can also still feel a piece of orange in her throat tha ...   Continue reading

    • Ask Charlie – How to perfect a Sunday roast – New columnist Charlie Gray of ‘Ask Charlie’ shares her tips as to how to cook a perfect Sunday roast.

      Ask Charlie – How to perfect a Sunday roast

      New columnist Charlie Gray of ‘Ask Charlie’ shares her tips as to how to cook a perfect Sunday roast A Sunday roast is the perfect time to leave your phones to one side, turn o ...   Continue reading

    • A Tale of Two Lukes – Luke Johnson vs. Luke Jones on booze – Luke Johnson is wrong to urge consumers to embrace alcohol free spirits whilst Luke Jones was right to urge them to love martinis.

      A Tale of Two Lukes

      Luke Johnson is wrong to urge consumers to embrace alcohol free spirits whilst Luke Jones was right to urge them to love martinis Under Luke Johnson’s reign Patisserie Valerie co ...   Continue reading

    • More Matters of Marmalade – Longevity and marmalade making – The debate over marmalade making and longevity continues in the ‘Guardian’ with a letter from a 74-year-old.

      More Matters of Marmalade

      The debate over marmalade making and longevity continues in the ‘Guardian’ with a letter from a 74-year-old In the Guardian, the correlation of marmalade making and longevity c ...   Continue reading

    • Death by Mixed Grill – Mixed grill kills Welsh woman – Brewers Fayre steak, gammon, fried eggs, chicken breast, pork sausage, chips, onion rings, grilled tomato and peas mix kills woman.

      Death by Mixed Grill

      Brewers Fayre steak, gammon, fried eggs, chicken breast, pork sausage, chips, onion rings, grilled tomato and peas combo kills woman; five other gruesome culinary deaths A Welsh wo ...   Continue reading

    • A Matter of Marmalade – Marmalade and Longevity – Readers of the ‘Guardian’ share their amusing stories correlating longevity and marmalade.

      A Matter of Marmalade

      Readers of the ‘Guardian’ share their amusing stories correlating longevity and marmalade During the last month, the Guardian has published a series of letters about old people ...   Continue reading

    • Heroes of the Hour – The owners of The Dreadnought, Edinburgh – Edinburgh pub that has banned men with bare ankles and suggests alcohol free gin to be nothing but overpriced cordial is to be saluted.

      Heroes of the Hour – The Dreadnought

      Edinburgh pub that has banned men with bare ankles and suggests alcohol free gin to be nothing but overpriced cordial is to be saluted Men who wear loafers without socks (termed ...   Continue reading

    • Draconian Drinking – Tim Martin of Wetherspoons strikes again – Brexit bore Tim Martin, chairman of Wetherspoons yet again shows himself to be a draconian drip; what will this nutty nuisance ban next?

      Draconian Drinking

      Brexit bore Tim Martin, chairman of Wetherspoons yet again shows himself to be a draconian drip; what will this nutty nuisance ban next? On Monday, the deranged dimwit Tim Martin, ...   Continue reading

    • The Best CBD Oil – Dany German analyses the UK CBD oil market – Dany German analyses the best CBD oil available in the UK and offers tips about where to buy it.

      The Best CBD Oil

      Dany German analyses the best CBD oil available in the UK and offers tips about where to buy it CBD oil has taken the UK market by storm over the last few years. CBD oil used to be ...   Continue reading

    • Name & Shame – Fergie’s (Fat) Farm – Sarah, Duchess of York – Sarah, Duchess of York should be ashamed of her latest attempt to profit from her (former) royal status.

      Name & Shame – Fergie’s (Fat) Farm

      Sarah, Duchess of York should be ashamed of her latest attempt to profit from her (former) royal status Sarah, Duchess of York (AKA ‘Fergie’) just cannot help herself. When not ...   Continue reading

    • Analysing CBD – Dany German looks into the UK CBD market – Dany German examines the market for CBD capsules and pills in the UK and selects the three best options available.

      Analysing CBD

      New contributor Dany German examines the market for CBD capsules and pills in the UK and selects the three best options available CBD has become one of the most popular dietary sup ...   Continue reading

    • Food Fury – Angry ex-councillor Terry Lawton moans about meat – Angry supposedly homophobic ex-Labour councillor contacts his local newspaper to rant about buying supposedly rotten meat in Morrisons.

      Food Fury – Tezza The Steak Terror

      Angry supposedly homophobic ex-Labour councillor contacts his local newspaper to rant about buying supposedly rotten meat in Morrisons There are people with too much time on their ...   Continue reading

    • Hero of the Hour – Alain Ducasse condemns Dry January – French chef Alain Ducasse is right to condemn Dry January and to suggest diners drink more, not less.

      Hero of the Hour – Alain Ducasse

      French chef Alain Ducasse is right to condemn Dry January and to suggest diners drink more, not less January is frankly the month when people should drink more, not less. It is a m ...   Continue reading

    • Chelsea’s Chicken McNugget Girls – Vulgarity in Chelsea, SW3 – It’s no longer “Who Sloanes Wins” in Chelsea; welcome to the 2020s in SW3 – and the arrival of an age of vulgarity and coarseness.

      Chelsea’s Chicken McNugget Girls

      It’s no longer “Who Sloanes Wins” in Chelsea; welcome to the 2020s in SW3 – and the arrival of an age of vulgarity and coarseness Chelsea used to be the land of Peter York ...   Continue reading

    • Raising a Toast to Ginuary – Avoid Veganuary and take up Ginuary – Matthew Steeples suggests readers avoid ‘Veganuary’ and instead take up ‘Ginuary’ this month. No. 3, Beefeater, Gilpin’s Gin, Martin Miller’s.

      Raising a Toast to Ginuary

      Matthew Steeples suggests readers avoid ‘Veganuary’ and instead take up ‘Ginuary’ this month ‘Veganuary’ is all the rage at the moment. Articles about it abound and the ...   Continue reading

    • It’s a NO to New Year’s Day Dining – Do not dine out on New Year’s Day – Matthew Steeples comes to concur that dining out on New Year’s Day is an utterly stupid idea (unless you want food poisoning).

      It’s a NO to New Year’s Day Dining

      Matthew Steeples comes to concur that dining out on New Year’s Day is an utterly stupid idea (unless you want food poisoning) Last week on the BBC’s Saturday Kitchen, a guest c ...   Continue reading

    • Moron of the Moment – Vegan nutcase Jordi Casamitjana – Sacked League Against Cruel Sports employee and ‘ethical vegan’ Jordi Camamitjana is the personification of crazy.

      Moron of the Moment – Jordi Casamitjana

      Sacked League Against Cruel Sports employee Jordi Camamitjana is the personification of crazy for seeking to have “ethical veganism recognised as a protected philosophical belief ...   Continue reading

    • Brazen Bigoted Baroness’ Boxing Day Baloney – Marie Claire von Alvensleben – Bigoted ‘baroness’ Marie Claire von Alvensleben, famed for rolling around on the floor with Michael Barrymore, spotted bargaining (unsuccessfully) in the Queen’s grocers.

      Brazen Bigoted Baroness’ Boxing Day Baloney

      Bigoted ‘baroness’ Marie Claire von Alvensleben, famed for rolling around on the floor with disgraced TV star Michael Barrymore, spotted bargaining (unsuccessfully) in the Quee ...   Continue reading

    THE SPORTING LIFE

    From playing the field to buying a team
    • Hero of the Hour – Joe Wicks gives to NHS during COVID-19 lockdown – In giving “every single penny he makes” from his online P.E. lessons to the NHS during the coronavirus lockdown of schools, Joe Wicks has shown himself as a hero of the hour.

      Hero of the Hour – Joe Wicks

      In giving “every single penny he makes” from his online P.E. lessons to the NHS during the coronavirus lockdown of schools, Joe Wicks has shown himself as a hero of the hour On ...   Continue reading

    • A Bowled Down Price – £14.9 million for Mount Vernon, 4009 West Lawther Drive, Dallas, Texas, TX 75214, United States of America down from £26.1 million through Allie Beth Allman & Associates – Texan estate for sale for sum 43% less than in 2011; it comes with the “finest private bowling alley in America” and a car museum.

      A Bowled Down Price

      Texan estate for sale for sum 43% less than in 2011; it comes with the “finest private bowling alley in America” and a car museum In March 2015, The Steeple Times featured a Te ...   Continue reading

    • A Seriously Slow Subaru – 1970 Subaru 360 police car to be auctioned by RM Sotheby’s on 1st to 2nd May 2020 as part of the Elkhart Collection in Elkhart, Indiana – Quirky Subaru police car to be sold at auction; unlike anything Colin McRae drove it’s as slow as a snail.

      A Seriously Slow Subaru

      Quirky 1970 Subaru 360 police car to be sold at auction; unlike anything Colin McRae drove it’s as slow as a snail Advertised quite accurately in the United States as “cheap an ...   Continue reading

    • Post Paused – Racing Post suspends print edition after 34 years – Today, after 34 years in business, the ‘Racing Post’ has sadly stopped daily print production due to the coronavirus outbreak.

      Post Paused

      Today, after 34 years in business, the ‘Racing Post’ has sadly stopped daily print production due to the coronavirus outbreak British horseracing’s premier publication, the R ...   Continue reading

    • Lizzie Replaces Ghislaine – Lizzie Cundy, Ghislaine Maxwell, Cash & Rocket rally – With paedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell still missing, knicker flasher Lizzie Cundy steps into the breach in the forthcoming 2020 Barcelona to Florence Cash & Rocket rally.

      Lustful Lizzie Replaces Gruesome Ghislaine

      With paedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell still missing, knicker flasher Lizzie Cundy steps into the breach in the forthcoming Cash & Rocket rally Las ...   Continue reading

    • Moron of the Moment – Karren Brady shows herself as a sore loser – Lady Brady yet again makes an utter berk of herself by declaring the premier league season be declared “null and void” due to coronavirus.

      Moron of the Moment – Karren Brady

      Lady Brady yet again makes an utter berk of herself by declaring the premier league season be declared “null and void” due to coronavirus “Muckspreader” Karren Rita Brady ( ...   Continue reading

    • Runners & Riders – Horse racing tips for Friday 13th March 2020 – The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for today’s Magners Gold Cup at Cheltenham.

      Runners & Riders – Cheltenham Gold Cup 2020

      The Steeple Times’ horse racing tips with an analysis of the top tipsters and their selections for today’s Magners Gold Cup at Cheltenham Today might be considered unlucky by s ...   Continue reading

    • Anth’ Flips – Anthea Turner injures herself whilst miming Shania Twain – Anthea Turner moves from swinging to flipping – and does so disastrously.

      Anth’ Flips

      Anthea Turner moves from swinging to flipping – and does so disastrously When in the company of she who enjoys a bit of knicker flashing in restaurants Lizzie Cundy, Anthea Turne ...   Continue reading

    • Axing Switlyk – Sex toy loving Larysa Switlyk appears in a video hurling axes at a wall whilst trying to flog ghastly leggings.

      Axing Switlyk

      Sex toy loving animal slayer Larysa Switlyk appears in a video hurling axes at a wall whilst trying to flog ghastly leggings There’s deranged and then there’s Larysa Switylk. S ...   Continue reading

    • BoJo And The Burbot – Boris Johnson and the burbot cod species – Matthew Steeples asks: “Could the return of the ‘great lost’ burbot solve Boris Johnson from the impending fisheries negotiations crisis?”

      BoJo And The Burbot

      Matthew Steeples asks: “Could the return of the ‘great lost’ burbot solve Boris Johnson from the impending fisheries negotiations crisis?” You’ve probably never heard of ...   Continue reading

    THE FOG

    The economy, politics and current affairs
    • A COVID-19 Respite for NHS Workers in SW7 – Flat for £65 per night – Luxurious South Kensington apartment offered to NHS workers for 75% less than it generally rents for during the coronavirus crisis. Offered by actress, film producer and film financier Alexa Jago – who is also involved in military charities and was executive producer of Kajaki, the true British war docu-drama.

      A Respite for NHS Workers in SW7

      Luxurious South Kensington apartment offered to NHS workers for 75% less than it generally rents for during the coronavirus crisis by film producer Alexa Jago A born and bred Royal ...   Continue reading

    • Hero of the Hour – Terry Waite – Former hostage Terry Waite wisely tells the nation to keep their dignity, structure their day, become creative and be grateful during the coronavirus lockdown.

      Hero of the Hour – Terry Waite

      Former hostage Terry Waite wisely tells the nation to keep their dignity, structure their day, become creative and be grateful during the coronavirus lockdown Speaking to Sarah-Jan ...   Continue reading

    • Angry About Otters – Wiltshire man John Aeberhard of The Manor House, Steeple Ashton rants about otters in local rag the Wiltshire Times – Wiltshire manor house owner proves himself a fine example of an ‘angry person in a local newspaper’ in ranting about otters.

      Angry About Otters

      Wiltshire manor house owner proves himself a fine example of an ‘angry person in a local newspaper’ in ranting about otters Whilst most people are worrying about where they can ...   Continue reading

    • Strike It Corona – Shameless Michael Barrymore plays on Instagram – As he plays ‘Strike It Lucky’ on Instagram during the coronavirus lockdown, we ask: “Is there nothing that Michael Barrymore won’t do to seek a return to fame?”

      Strike It Corona

      As he plays ‘Strike It Lucky’ on Instagram during the coronavirus lockdown, we ask: “Is there nothing that Michael Barrymore won’t do to seek a return to fame?” Michael B ...   Continue reading

    • Morons of the Moment – Sir Christopher and Baroness Meyer – Tedious twerps Sir Christopher and Baroness Meyer take to Twitter to berate anyone who dares criticise Boris Johnson and his deviant actions.

      Wally of the Week – Sir Christopher Meyer

      Pompous pillock Sir Christopher Meyer sticks his oar in over coronavirus and makes a most bigoted suggestion as to its origin in blaming travelling Chinese textile workers Sir Chri ...   Continue reading

    • Heroine of the Hour – Dame Vera Lynn on coronavirus – Forces sweetheart Dame Vera Lynn shares her thoughts on coronavirus and urges the public to “pull together”

      Heroine of the Hour – Dame Vera Lynn

      Forces sweetheart Dame Vera Lynn shares her thoughts on coronavirus and urges the public to “pull together” Fresh from having beaten a gin company who tried to trademark the si ...   Continue reading

    • Bamber Reflects – Jeremy Bamber slams ITV’s ‘White House Farm’ – Jeremy Bamber slams ITV’s ‘White House Farm’ drama as “nonsense” and thanks those who’ve shared “positive news” about his case.

      Bamber Reflects

      Jeremy Bamber slams ITV’s ‘White House Farm’ drama as “nonsense” and thanks those who’ve shared “positive news” about his case In a recent blog post Jeremy Bamber ...   Continue reading

    • Moron of the Moment – Daily Mail editor Geordie Greig on coronavirus – “Gnomic” Geordie Greig is rightly called out as “despicable” and a “common little man” by ‘From The Hornets Nest’

      Moron of the Moment – Geordie Greig

      “Gnomic” Geordie Greig is rightly called out as “despicable” and a “common little man” by ‘From The Hornets Nest’ The editor of the Daily Mail, Geordie Greig, has t ...   Continue reading

    • Shutting up Schofield – Phillip Schofield and the coronavirus – Phillip Schofield’s mum has more to fear from this angry man’s presence on screen than the coronavirus.

      Shutting up Schofield

      Phillip Schofield’s mum has more to fear from this angry man’s presence on screen than the coronavirus In a recent Evening Standard article, Susannah Butter reported that Phill ...   Continue reading

    • Bog Off! Good riddance to Meghan and Harry – Awful people – Matthew Steeples joins those celebrating the ‘departure’ of the grasping duo Harry and Meghan.

      Bog Off!

      Matthew Steeples joins those celebrating the ‘departure’ of the grasping duo Harry and Meghan When they first got together, I suggested the then Meghan Markle to be a “breath ...   Continue reading

    BRAINSTORM

    The comings and goings of the entrepreneurial classes

    • Hero of the Hour – Ty Warner hands over his NYC hotel The Four Seasons for medical workers – Toy manufacturing billionaire Ty Warner has most generously turned over his 368 room hotel free of charge for New York’s medical workers for the duration of the coronavirus pandemic.

      Hero of the Hour – Ty Warner

      Toy manufacturing billionaire Ty Warner has most generously turned over his 368 room hotel free of charge for New York’s medical workers for the duration of the coronavirus pande ...   Continue reading

    • Ultra Obscene – Condemning the term ‘Ultra High Net Worth’ – The brash term ‘Ultra High Net Worth’ has deservedly been condemned and as ultra awful.

      Ultra Obscene

      The brash term ‘Ultra High Net Worth’ has deservedly been condemned and as ultra awful In a letter to the Guardian on the 6th March, one Michael Peel of Axbridge, Somerset righ ...   Continue reading

    • The New ‘Knights’ of Knightsbridge – Tessal London, Beauchamp Place – As a shop selling “bringing back the royalty of [Arabia] home” opens in Knightsbridge, we ask: “Whatever next?”

      The New ‘Knights’ of Knightsbridge

      As a shop selling “bringing back the royalty of [Arabia] home” opens in Knightsbridge, we ask: “Whatever next?” Beauchamp Place, Knightsbridge used to be the street where y ...   Continue reading

    • Morons of the Moment – Drug floggers Mortimer and Jacqueline Sackler – Self-entitled drug flogging billionaires Mortimer and Jacqueline Sackler were rightly roasted by ‘Guest of a Guest’ for their (latest) bleating email.

      Morons of the Moment – Mortimer and Jacqueline Sackler

      Self-entitled drug flogging billionaires Mortimer and Jacqueline Sackler were rightly roasted by ‘Guest of a Guest’ for their (latest) bleating email Mortimer D. A. Sackler is ...   Continue reading

    • Epstein’s Fat Cat – Barclays CEO Jes Staley under investigation – Fat cat banker and Barclays CEO Jes Staley under investigation over his links to the late paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.

      Epstein’s Fat Cat

      Fat cat banker and Barclays CEO Jes Staley under investigation over his links to the late paedophile Jeffrey Epstein This morning, Barclays has been forced to reveal that its contr ...   Continue reading

    • Lazy Brady’s U-Turn – Karren Brady does a U-turn on Sir Philip Green – Muckspreader Lady Brady does a U-turn about alleged abuser Sir Philip Green (but then admits she’s often still on the blower to him).

      Lazy Brady’s U-Turn

      Muckspreader Lady Brady does a U-turn about alleged abuser Sir ‘Shifty’ Philip Green (but then admits she’s often still on the blower to him) ‘Lazy Brady’s’ at it again ...   Continue reading

    • Moron of the Moment – The Duchess of York – As the Duchess of York is dragged into yet another scandal, we have to concur that it is time this silly woman was sent to Siberia. Gate Ventures, Ginger & Moss.

      Moron of the Moment – The Duchess of York

      As the Duchess of York is dragged into yet another scandal involving her tea trading business, we have to concur that it is time this ludicrous woman was sent to Siberia On Saturda ...   Continue reading

    • Moron of the Moment – Arrogant on-the-run fraudster Sami Raja – Fraudster Sami Raja’s use of Instagram to flaunt his luxury lifestyle whilst on the run provides proof of his all-round arrogance.

      Moron of the Moment – Sami Raja

      Fraudster Sami Raja’s use of Instagram to flaunt his luxury lifestyle whilst on the run provides proof of his all-round arrogance Sami Raja stole £2.4 million ($3.2 million, € ...   Continue reading

    • Tittle Tattle Towning – James Stunt speaks out against Ian Towning – James Stunt responds to yet another nonsensical interview by the peddler of junk Ian Towning, a man who knows zilch about art. Ian Towning pictured with the late paedophile Max Clifford.

      Tittle Tattle Tosspot Towning

      James Stunt responds to yet another nonsensical interview by the peddler of junk Ian Towning and confirms the ratbag as a prat who knows zilch about art In response to a badly writ ...   Continue reading

    • A Newspaper for Nowt – Skagway News offered for sale for $0 – Alaska newspaper offered for sale; the “unbeatable price” of $0 provides indication of the decline of the printed press.

      A Newspaper for Nowt

      Alaska newspaper offered for sale; the “unbeatable price” of $0 provides indication of the decline of the printed press Yesterday, The Guardian reported that a man who’d boug ...   Continue reading

    THE WIRE

    Science, technology and gadgets

    • A Costly Coupé – Range Rover Adventum Coupé for sale for £256k through Classic Youngtimers – Coachbuilt 2018 Range Rover Adventum Coupé by Dutch designer Niels van Roij for sale for an eye-watering sum; it comes with two umbrellas with handles made of the same leather as the interior.

      A Costly Coupé

      Coachbuilt 2018 Range Rover ‘Adventum Coupé’ for sale for an eye-watering sum; it comes with two umbrellas with handles made of the same leather as the interior Niels van Roij ...   Continue reading

    • An Exceptional Estate – £130,000 to £220,000 ($161,000 to $273,000, €146,000 to €247,000 or درهم592,000 to درهم1 million) estimate for 2005 Ferrari 612 shooting brake at the Bonhams ‘Les Grandes Marques à Monaco’ sale in Monte Carlo on 8th May 2020 – One-of-one 2005 Ferrari 612 shooting brake by Vanderbrink to be auctioned in Monte Carlo; unlike other Ferrari estates, it’s not from the ownership of Brunei royalty.

      An Exceptional Estate

      One-of-one 2005 Ferrari 612 shooting brake by Vanderbrink to be auctioned in Monte Carlo; unlike other Ferrari estates, it’s not from the ownership of Brunei royalty One wouldn ...   Continue reading

    • How to Continuing Studying During Coronavirus – Educational consultant Tiffany Miles shares about how students can continue learning effectively whilst stranded due to coronavirus.

      How to Continuing Studying During Coronavirus

      Educational consultant Tiffany Miles shares thoughts about how students can continue learning effectively whilst stranded due to coronavirus Those currently in education (and those ...   Continue reading

    • A Landy or a Thing? RM Sotheby’s Palm Beach auction goes online – Nine seat, thirty year old 1990 Land Rover 110 Defender for sale for staggering sum; a cheaper alternative at RM Sotheby’s auction (forced online because of coronavirus) is a 1974 Volkswagen 181 ‘Thing’ – 20th to 28th March 2020 in Florida.

      A Landy or a Thing?

      Nine seat, thirty year old Land Rover for sale for staggering sum; a cheaper alternative at RM Sotheby’s auction (forced online because of coronavirus) is a Volkswagen ‘Thing ...   Continue reading

    • “So You Want To Test The Car? The Only Way Is To Buy One” – Theodora Ong explores the history of Bristol Cars and laments the company’s recent demise.

      “So You Want To Test The Car? The Only Way Is To Buy One”

      Theodora Ong explores the history of Bristol Cars and laments the company’s recent demise Prying into the enigma of the apparently abandoned Bristol car showroom in Kensington, l ...   Continue reading

    • he Dark Sun: James Stunt exposes ‘The Sun’ for hacking social media – James Stunt exposes ‘The Sun’ for nefariously hacking his YouTube account reports Matthew Steeples.

      The Dark Sun

      James Stunt exposes ‘The Sun’ for nefariously hacking his YouTube account reports Matthew Steeples Last night in Belgravia, James Stunt logged into his YouTube account in the p ...   Continue reading

    • Name & Shame – Brazen in Belgravia – Abusive female E-scooter pest – Female E-scooter user abuses pedestrians in Belgravia after being told it is illegal for her device to be on both the pavement and the highway.

      Name & Shame – Brazen in Belgravia

      Female E-scooter user abuses pedestrians in Belgravia after being told it is illegal for her device to be on both the pavement and the highway Whilst New York City is considering a ...   Continue reading

    • How to Solve an Unsolved Murder – Eve Stratford and Lynne Weedon – Elizabeth J. Bond examines the cases of the murders of Eve Stratford and Lynne Weedon in 1975 and suggests how they could finally be solved.

      How to Solve an Unsolved Murder

      New contributor Elizabeth J. Bond examines the cases of the murders of Eve Stratford and Lynne Weedon in 1975 and suggests how they could finally be solved I first came across the ...   Continue reading

    • A One Off – £1.25 million for 2012 Aston Martin 2+2 Jet shooting brake by Bertone through Classic Mobilia – One-of-a-kind 2012 Aston Martin shooting brake for sale for a staggering sum; it comes with all needed to build more examples.

      A One Off

      One-of-a-kind 2012 Aston Martin shooting brake for sale for a staggering sum; it comes with all needed to build more examples Aston Martins are the preserve of James Bond and the s ...   Continue reading

    • Online Gaming 2020 – What’ll happen to online gaming in 2020 – Josh Perry analyses what is in store for the world of online gaming in 2020.

      Online Gaming 2020

      Josh Perry analyses what is in store for the world of online gaming in 2020 The gaming industry is always changing and adapting to new trends and technologies. This decade has seen ...   Continue reading

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