Friday, June 9, 2023
BRAINSTORM

Is It Time-Up For ‘The Telegraph’ & Shutdown At ‘The Spectator’?

Matthew Steeples asks: “Can ‘The Telegraph’ and ‘The Spectator’ survive as the Barclays are forced out and new media replaces the printed press?”
TIPPLE & FARE

The Pizza Express Princes – Shouldn’t Pizza Express Be Given A Royal Warrant After Being Mentioned In Legal Matters Concerning Both Prince Andrew &...

As Prince Harry brings Pizza Express up in legal proceedings against Mirror Group Newspapers, shouldn’t the chain be given a royal warrant given Prince Andrew used it as an alibi also?
EDITORIAL

High Court Harry – “Sword of truth, shield of justice” depiction of delusional Duke of Sussex

Artist parades work depicting Prince Harry in Jonathan Aitken “sword of truth and shield of justice” type fashion as the rabid ranting royal arrives at the High Court in London reports Matthew Steeples.
THE FOG

Mizzy Makes Mockery Of Media – TikTok Tearaway Twerp Bacari-Bronze O’Garro Makes Fool Of Bigoted Braggart Bully Andre Walker

“Which one is actually worse?” asks Matthew Steeples. ‘TikTok tearway twerp’ Bacari-Bronze O’Garro (AKA ‘Mizzy’) or ‘bigoted braggart bully’ Talk TV host Andre Walker?

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EDITORIAL

Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

EDITORIAL

High Court Harry – “Sword of truth, shield of justice” depiction of delusional Duke of Sussex

Artist parades work depicting Prince Harry in Jonathan Aitken “sword of truth and shield of justice” type fashion as the rabid ranting royal arrives at the High Court in London reports Matthew Steeples.
Read more
EDITORIAL

Bring Them Back – International Missing Children’s Day 2023

On International Missing Children’s Day 2023, Matthew Steeples reminds readers of missing children whose cases aren’t getting the disproportionate resources misallocated to that of the search for Madeleine McCann.
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EDITORIAL

Gordon The Gopher’s Gone – Phillip Schofield Quits ‘This Morning’; Will Further Scandal Follow?

As the queue-jumping puppet master of Gordon The Gopher Phillip Schofield quits ‘This Morning’, Matthew Steeples asks: “Will further scandal follow for this flogger of plughole-fit-only plonk?”
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THE ROLL CALL

A list of influence

OBSERVERS

PERSONALITIES

CREATIVES

BUSINESS

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EDITORIAL

Editorial comment from Matthew Steeples

High Court Harry – “Sword of truth, shield of justice” depiction of delusional Duke of Sussex

Artist parades work depicting Prince Harry in Jonathan Aitken “sword of truth and shield of justice” type fashion as the rabid ranting royal arrives at the High Court in London reports Matthew Steeples.
Read more

Bring Them Back – International Missing Children’s Day 2023

On International Missing Children’s Day 2023, Matthew Steeples reminds readers of missing children whose cases aren’t getting the disproportionate resources misallocated to that of the search for Madeleine McCann.
Read more

Gordon The Gopher’s Gone – Phillip Schofield Quits ‘This Morning’; Will Further Scandal Follow?

As the queue-jumping puppet master of Gordon The Gopher Phillip Schofield quits ‘This Morning’, Matthew Steeples asks: “Will further scandal follow for this flogger of plughole-fit-only plonk?”
Read more

OPULENCE & SPLENDOUR

Luxury and the arts

Bargain Basement Bernie – Price Of Bernie Ecclestone’s £30m Gin Palace Yacht ‘Petara II’ Slashed To ‘Just’ £16m

As he faces a £400 million fraud trial, coffin dodging skinflint Bernie Ecclestone has slashed the price of one his gin palaces, Petara; the 190-foot yacht is now on sale for the bargain basement price of ‘just’ £16 million.
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Maxwell House Open – Chance To Tour £4.7 Million Former Crib Of Ghislaine Maxwell

As £668,000 is sliced off the price of Ghislaine Maxwell and Scott Borgerson’s former home (and an ‘open house’ is arranged at ‘Maxwell House’), here is a perfect outing for those that want to take a gander at such features as their sick ‘party shower’ this May.
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And Then There Were None – Agatha Christie’s Bolthole Burgh Island For Sale

Burgh Island in South Devon, where Agatha Christie wrote several novels and The Beatles stayed also, goes on sale for the staggering sum of £15 million.
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THE ROLL CALL

A ranked assembly of individuals of note along with details of their achievements and quirks

Big Zuu (Birth Name – Zuhair Hassan)

A rapper and grime MC turned TV star of ‘Big Zuu’s Big Eats,’ Zuhair Hassan is an example of a youngster with infectious positivity and great talent. A modern-day Keith Floyd in the making.

Ken Smith (AKA ‘The Hermit of Treig’)

After having been attacked and left for dead aged 26, Derbyshire born Ken Smith found solace in the Scottish Highlands and has lived as a hermit for around 46 years in a cabin that is 27 miles from the nearest settlement. He lives off the land and has 70 gallons of hooch on the go and “wants everyone to be merry” when he dies.

Dr Margaret McCollum (AKA ‘Mrs Mind The Gap’)

Voice of “mind the gap” on London’s Northern Line underground service’s widow Dr Margaret McCollum got him back there.

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The snakes and ladders of society

Strike It Unlucky Schofield – Phillip Schofield’s Car-Crash BBC Interview Compared To Those Of Michael Barrymore & Prince Andrew

Further disaster strikes for telly box twerp Phillip Schofield as he strikes it unlucky and finds his TV tell-all compared to the car crash interviews of Michael Barrymore, Prince Andrew, Amber Heard and the Duchess of Sussex.

Sorry, Not Sorry – Weird Wazzock Phillip Schofield Should Stop Milking The Self-Inflicted Misery He Himself Caused

Not sorry in the slightest… In blubbing about how “sorry” he is and asking if people want him dead, Phillip Schofield just shows he’s a self-serving weird wazzock who doesn’t really think he’s done anything wrong suggests Matthew Steeples.

Attention Seeking Maxwell – Evil Nonce Ghislaine Maxwell’s Latest Audacious Antics

Attention seeking noxious nonce Ghislaine Maxwell continues to misbehave; fellow prisoners respond with “snitches get stiches” comments after she “ratted out” two “violent” Cuban inmates.
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TIPPLE & FARE

Food, drink and fine dining

The Pizza Express Princes – Shouldn’t Pizza Express Be Given A Royal Warrant After Being Mentioned In Legal Matters Concerning Both Prince Andrew &...

As Prince Harry brings Pizza Express up in legal proceedings against Mirror Group Newspapers, shouldn’t the chain be given a royal warrant given Prince Andrew used it as an alibi also?

Gobby Monroe v Gobby Anderson– What Came Next In Promised Libel Action?

A year-to-the-day on Matthew Steeples asks: “Whatever became of the libel suit of gobby Jack Monroe v gobby Lee Anderson MP?”

Please, God No… ‘The Tig’ To Be Revived By ‘HighGella Lawson’ Wannabe Meghan Markle

As the Duchess of Sussex gets busy with ‘lemon olive oil cake’ for a new cookery book and revives ‘The Tig’ also, one is left wondering if she’ll collaborate with Elizabeth Arden and promote ‘todger cream’ as well.

THE SPORTING LIFE

From playing the field to buying a team

Do NOT Parole Pistorius – Evil Oscar Pistorius Does NOT Deserve To Be Freed

Matthew Steeples suggests that the murdering monster Oscar Pistorius should NOT be released on parole; he is completely lacking in remorse and clearly his continuing arrogance shows he has not yet been rehabilitated.

Five Famous British Poker Players – The Stories Of Poker Hand Success

David Lennox shares the stories of five famous British poker players and what makes them good at their game.

Runners & Riders – The Cheltenham Festival 2023, Day 4, ‘Gold Cup Day’

‘The Steeple Times’ examines the tipsters’ selections and offers options for ‘Gold Cup Day’ at the Cheltenham Festival 2023 including a 20/1 outsider owned by Sir Alex Ferguson and a 50/1 wildcard.

THE FOG

The economy, politics and current affairs

Mizzy Makes Mockery Of Media – TikTok Tearaway Twerp Bacari-Bronze O’Garro Makes Fool Of Bigoted Braggart Bully Andre Walker

“Which one is actually worse?” asks Matthew Steeples. ‘TikTok tearway twerp’ Bacari-Bronze O’Garro (AKA ‘Mizzy’) or ‘bigoted braggart bully’ Talk TV host Andre Walker?

Reservoir Rubbish – More Wasted Money In £14m Search For ‘Missing’ Madeleine McCann

Matthew Steeples slams the decision to waste yet more money on top of the £14 million spent by searching a reservoir for Madeleine McCann; it is time precious resources were reallocated to searches for missing people capable of actually being found.

Taxi For ‘Has-Been’ – The “Catastrophic” Crap Of Prince Harry

After ‘Has-Been’ Prince Harry nonsensically claimed he was pursued for TWO HOURS by paparazzi, all he has proven is that he’s nothing but a whining whingebag.

BRAINSTORM

The comings and goings of the entrepreneurial classes

Is It Time-Up For ‘The Telegraph’ & Shutdown At ‘The Spectator’?

Matthew Steeples asks: “Can ‘The Telegraph’ and ‘The Spectator’ survive as the Barclays are forced out and new media replaces the printed press?”

With Mates Like Mandy… More Meetings Between Ponzi Scheming Paedo Jeffrey Epstein & ‘Prince Of Darkness’ Peter Mandelson Revealed

As new evidence of meetings between Lord Mandelson and Jeffrey Epstein after the latter got out of the clink emerges, one is left asking: “What continued to attract ‘Mandy’ to a known billionaire sex offender?”

The Deadly Waters of Divorce – ‘The Steeple Times’ Guide to Finding The Best Divorce Lawyers in the UK and the USA

Legal eagle David Lennox unravels the complexities of finding the best divorce lawyers in the UK and the USA. Discover the top law firms for wives, husbands, optimal settlements, and protective strategies.

THE WIRE

Science, technology and gadgets

Ferrari Tastes On A Reliant Robin Budget

Perfect car for a wannabe Del Boy offered at auction; ideal for those with “Ferrari tastes on a Robin Reliant budget;” talk about a “cushty” makeover of a 1990 three-wheeler.

A Tepid Twitter Storm – If You Don’t Like Twitter, You Have The Right To Leave

Matthew Steeples suggests those getting overexcited about Twitter should just get over their ever-so-sanctimonious selves; at a time of strife and strikes, the tepid Twitterati do have the right to leave.

Off With His Head!

As Carrie Johnson continues to be nicknamed ‘Carrie Antoinette,’ she could buy a Napoleonic bone model of a guillotine and shout out “Off with his head!” about her enemies instead of gyrating to Abba with her groupies in her Downing Street flat.

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