Tuesday, November 15, 2022
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THE SPORTING LIFE

Randy’s Shot – Prince Andrew To Console Himself Shooting Whilst Fergie Lives It Up In £5 Million Pad; Who’s Paying?

As his chances to return to royal duties look beyond shot, Prince Andrew supposedly intends to spend the winter shooting whilst his live-in ex-wife moves into a £5 million London pad in Belgravia; who is paying for their lavish lifestyle?

Run Ghislaine Run! Ghislaine Maxwell Snapped Running In Prison

As mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell is spotted running on a prison track in Florida, we remind readers that this wicked wench likes to run from justice and still hasn’t named a single man she sex trafficked her victims to.

Run Sarb Run! World record attempt for most half-marathons in 30 days

‘The Steeple Times’ urges readers to support Sarb Singh Dhanoa’s attempt to break the world record for running the most half-marathons in 30 days.

Capreolus Club Canned – A Salute To Jason Atherton For Banning Sick Goat Slayers

After a successful and swift campaign by ‘The Steeple Times,’ chef Jason Atherton is to be saluted for doing the right thing and banning the sickening goat slaying Capreolus Club from his premises; it is time these barbarians were banned full-stop.

Getting Our Goat II – Chef Jason Atherton To Welcome Barbarian Goat Slaying Capreolus Club

As the UK goat slaughtering Capreolus Club swap swanky Mark’s Club for Jason Atherton’s Berners Tavern, we condemn the latter for welcoming such barbarians to their premises.

Moron of the Moment 2022 – Richard Madeley Insults A Lioness

As TV twerp and alleged tealeaf Richard Madeley patronises a member of the England ‘Lionesses,’ we call on GMB to fire this utterly reprehensible ratbag.

A £3m Wagatha Win – Coleen Rooney Trounces Rebekah Vardy

Matthew Steeples suggests that cool-and-collected Coleen Rooney very much deserved her victory over the mendacious minx Rebekah Vardy; the lesson from the ‘Wagatha Christie’ case is not to take legal action when you know you’ve told porky pies.

Vardy Carrie’s On – Rebekah Vardy Joins #TeamCarrieJohnson

Birdbrained blubber Rebekah Vardy comes out in support of vicious vixen Carrie Johnson; time for a night of Lambrusco, footie and ABBA in Downing Street?

Getting Our Goat – Mark’s Club, Mayfair To Host Party For Goat Killers

‘The Steeple Times’ launches a petition calling on Mayfair’s Mark’s Club – owned by the bouffant haired billionaire Richard Caring – to cancel an event for the Capreolus Club – an organisation that shockingly charges its members to shoot GOATS in the British Isles.

Tangerines Triumph – Blackpool Beats Off Owen Oyston Woes

Just as Blackpool Football Club’s new 17-year-old star signing Jake Daniels is widely lauded after “coming out” as gay, controversial former owner Owen Oyston unsurprisingly fails in laughable £78 million claim against the receivers of the ‘Tangerine’ team.

Who’s Davy Jones? Rebekah Vardy v Coleen Rooney 2022

Matthew Steeples suggests ‘Wagatha Christie’ Coleen Rooney is made of more grit than ‘Chatty Rat’ Rebekah Vardy; that the latter asked “Who’s Davy Jones?” and turned on the tears in court is simply illustrative that she’s a true own goaler.

Runners & Riders – The Grand National 2022

‘The Steeple Times’ examines the tipsters’ selections and offers 5 each way bet options for Saturday’s crowded Grand National 2022; we hope to repeat or improve on our 11/1 win last year.

Going Grand – Previewing The Grand National 2022

‘The Steeple Times’ takes an early look at the Grand National 2022 and highlights some of this punchy race’s most curious moments.

Five Fascinating British Gamblers

‘The Steeple Times’ takes a look at the stories of five of the most fascinating British gamblers – one’s activities even originated the word ‘sandwich.’

Bog Off Bernie!

After he banged on in support of the tyrant Vladimir Putin, billionaire Bernie Ecclestone should simply be told one thing: “Bog off back to Gstaad!” (and take your mate ‘Randy Andy’ with you) Bernie Ecclestone...

Moron of the Moment 2022 – Karren Brady

In not sacking footballer who giggled as he abused his pet cat, Karren Brady has yet again shown her true colours; shame on “overpainted Aunt Sally” Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge CBE

An ‘En Vacances’ Aston Martin

1993 Aston Martin Virage converted to a shooting brake for ‘vacances’ to be sold at auction; one of seven examples, the other six were built for Prince Jefri of Brunei One of just seven Aston...

Heroine of the Hour 2022 – ‘Flying Teenager’ Zara Rutherford

19-year-old Belgian-British aviator Zara Rutherford’s solo flight around the world in 155 days deserves to be celebrated.

Runners & Riders – Welsh Grand National 2021

Christmas betting tips – ‘The Steeple Times’ offers selections for today’s Welsh Grand National 2021 at Chepstow and options in three other races Whilst we missed out in the extraordinary spectacle of Tornado Flyer winning...

Runners & Riders – Boxing Day 2021 Racing Tips – King George VI Chase

‘The Steeple Times’ offers selections for Boxing Day’s King George VI Chase at Kempton Park and options in four other races.

Hero of the Hour 2021 – Gary Lineker OBE

In taking refugees into his own home, ex-footballer Gary Lineker not only puts his money where his mouth is, but also shows true compassion and decency.

A Horse Named For Rooney

In the wake of his latest alleged sexual antics scandal, granny grabbing Wayne Rooney gets amusing suggestions for what he’d be called if he was a racehorse.

Racism Should NOT Be Coming Home

Nikolay Kalinin on racism from comedians, estate agents and politicians in the wake of England’s loss in the UEFA football final on Sunday.

Pitiful Anderson and Priti Awful Patel

Nikolay Kalinin slams Home Secretary Priti Patel and fellow Tory twerp Lee Anderson MP over their off-pitch antics over tonight’s football final.

Runners & Riders – Day 5, Royal Ascot 2021

Matthew Steeples analyses the top tipsters’ selections for Day 5 at Royal Ascot 2021 after landing 1st places at 22/1 and 19/4 yesterday.

Runners & Riders – Day 4, Royal Ascot 2021

Matthew Steeples analyses the top tipsters’ selections for Day 4 of Royal Ascot 2021 after landing a 22/1 winner yesterday and a 45/1 third place.

Runners & Riders – Day 3, Royal Ascot 2021

Matthew Steeples analyses the top tipsters’ selections for Day 3 of Royal Ascot 2021 and offers some longshot choices at huge odds in 5 of the 7 races.

Runners & Riders – Day 2, Royal Ascot 2021

Matthew Steeples analyses the top tipsters’ selections for Day 2 of Royal Ascot 2021 after scoring a 33/1 winner yesterday.

Runners & Riders – Day 1, Royal Ascot 2021

Matthew Steeples analyses the top tipsters’ selections for Day 1 of Royal Ascot 2021 and offers selections in 5 of the 7 races.

Runners & Riders – Epsom Derby 2021

Matthew Steeples selects three ‘dark horse’ options for the Epsom Derby 2021 at 13/1, 8/1 and 15/1 as well as options for three earlier races.

Custard Cream Gate

After ‘Bingate’ comes ‘Custard Cream Gate’ in ritzy Henley-on-Thames with a red kite attacking a toddler for a custard cream.

Heroine of the Hour 2021 – Samantha Martin

16-year-old Samantha Martin’s enthusiasm for horse racing and her involvement in the racing site “for young people, by young people” ‘Rein It In’ is captivating.