Thursday, January 26, 2023
HomeTIPPLE & FARE

TIPPLE & FARE

Ghislaine’s Grotty Grub – Christmas 2022 For Ghislaine Maxwell v Christmas 2022 for Scott Borgerson

As noxious nonce Ghislaine Maxwell rots in jail living on grotty grub and unable to afford an appeal, her husband Scott Borgerson is spotted living it up with his sexually saucy sidekick courtesy of the £15 million the mucky madam transferred to him.

Moron of the Moment 2022 – Grim Grifter Jack Monroe

The elevation of busybody-bore and all-round grim grifter Jack Monroe by ‘The Grocer’ represents a pinnacle in pointlessness claims Matthew Steeples; Keith Floyd this lentil loving loon certainly ain’t.

The Cliffmas Gravy Train 2022

How can the pugnacious pensioner Sir Cliff Richard be spending Christmas Day making gravy ‘live’ in London with queue jumpers Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield when he also claims to be spending it in Fort Lauderdale, Florida also?

Brilliantly Bonkers Bone Idyll Gin – Old Masters With A Modern Twist

Matthew Steeples samples Bone Idyll gin and finds the concept of this “community funded” south-west London distillery brilliantly bonkers; here are “period fantasy” gins made with passion and panache.

Terrific Terlingham – Superb Gin Made With Bacchus Wine On Kentish Vineyard

Matthew Steeples samples Terlingham Vineyard’s Bacchus Dry Gin; it’s made with the last of this Kentish winery’s 2020 Bacchus wine yet still is clearly a classic, dry gin.

Give Thanks Ghislaine – Mucky Madam Maxwell Gets Tofurky® Dinner For Thanksgiving 2022

Noxious nonce Ghislaine Maxwell will no doubt give thanks that she’s getting Tofurky® this Thanksgiving; the notoriously fussy eater will likely love this vegan nosh-up.

Word of the Week 2022 – ‘Quafftide’ – A Drinker’s Delight

A 16th century word – ‘quafftide’ – announcing that “it’s time for a drink” is something that should be added to the vocabulary of every single household in the land.

Hero of the Hour 2022 – Crusading £1 Per Head Chef Miguel Barclay

In actually showing the British public how to actually cook a meal costing no more than £1 per head, TV chef Miguel Barclay contributes something useful whereas the likes of food bank fighters Lee Anderson MP and Jack Monroe continue just to carp.

Wally of the Week 2022 – Bombastic Bully & Bore Jack Monroe

In patronising the poor, bombastic bully and bore Jack Monroe yet again shows her truly nasty colours; here is a pontificating pillock who helps utterly nobody (apart from her not-so-sorry self).

Monroe v Anderson 2022 – Mouthy Menace v Mouthy Menace

As mouthy menace Jack Monroe threatens to sue mouthy menace Lee Anderson MP, Matthew Steeples suggests the only winner will be the laughing-all-the-way-to-the-bank lawyers; why don’t these tiresome attention seekers forget Monroe v Anderson and have a 30p cook-off hosted by Jamie Oliver instead?

The Restaurateur’s Restaurateur – Jeremy King Will Rise Again

As Minor International force restaurateurs Chris Corbin and Jeremy King out, loyal diners unsurprisingly back the dynamic duo and slam the tenacious Thais for their takeover.

The Fortune of Flapjackery

New contributor Anthony Smart delights in flapjacks created by two retired Devon ladies; they’ve turned Flapjackery into a £1 million business that has even attracted the attention of Prince Charles and his wife, Camilla Duchess of Cornwall.

Business As Usual For Corbin & King

Corbin & King co-founder and restaurateur par excellence Jeremy King declares “business as usual” and boldly vows to buy his company back out of administration.

Picture of the Week 2022 – BYOB Veganuary at Wetherspoons

As horrendously nutty ex-MEP Roger Helmer bangs on about having a burger at Wetherspoons, an image of PM Boris Johnson and the chain’s boss Tim Martin at a BYOB at 10 Downing Street trends on Twitter; we also remind readers of Helmer’s past antics.

Finickity Facebook Goes to War on Rustic Restaurateur

Finickity ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ Facebook group members get it completely wrong in attacking a restaurateur fined for putting up a poster advertising work at his Italian in Bristol.

Easter in January at Waitrose

Waitrose started promoting Easter merchandise on the 2nd January; Easter Sunday is not until 17th April and naturally ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ mentality kicked in on social media.

Ghislaine’s Grub

As Ghislaine Maxwell turns 60 today and remains in the clink, she gets ‘treated’ to a Christmas Day meal consisting of grub options that include meatloaf and a pack of peanuts.

Cooking With Ghislaine

Ghislaine Maxwell’s supporters seek to share “family cooking recipes” just as her lawyers compare her incarceration to scenes from ‘The Silence of the Lambs’ … Liver with fava beans and Chianti anyone?

Dim Tim Martin’s Doom

Nikolay Kalinin on extremist Brexiteer Tim Martin moaning about shortages at Wetherspoons being caused ironically by Brexit; ‘Dim Martin’ should blame himself only for such a situation.

Flora’s ‘Little Pot of Sunshine’

9-year-old girl’s prize-winning “little pot of sunshine” conserve goes on sale in Fortnum & Mason after beating 3,000 others in the world marmalade awards; 99-year-old’s grandson meanwhile claims marmalade helped her beat coronavirus.

Celebrating The Doggy Bag

Nikolay Kalinin celebrates the ‘Daily Mail’s’ campaign to encourage restaurant customers to take doggy bags home with them and joins those slamming Wetherspoons decision to refuse to participate.

Tatler Tells Fake Tales

‘Tatler’ magazine called out for suggesting a Chelsea restaurant that closed down in August 2016 as a “hot spot” post ‘Lockdown 3.0’ ending in May 2021.