Saturday, January 28, 2023
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TIPPLE & FARE

Gone Fishers Gin-ing!

Matthew Steeples visits Aldeburgh in Suffolk to learn the story of a business finding success in lockdown – he discovers Fishers Gin.

Beer is Very Good For You

Dutch scientist Professor Eric Claassen confirms a beer a day “would be very good for you” and suggests drinking such protects against insomnia, dementia and obesity.

A Magnum Muckup

Unilever ludicrously forced to “urgently” recall Magnum ice cream because it contains MILK. Health and safety busybodies at their finest.

More Matters Marmalade – Part V

More Matters Marmalade – Part V – Guardian readers on marmalade – Letter penning ‘Guardian’ readers return to their favourite subject – marmalade. This time marmalade and tights.

Hero of the Hour – Liam Gallagher

Rocker Liam Gallagher speaks the most sense on how to survive the coronavirus lockdown in thanking alcohol Rock stars aren’t meant to drink kale juice and herbal tea. That’s a fact, but in an interview...

Pandemic Pun

Prolific party pest David Pun spotted wandering in Waterloo having a coronavirus canapé crisis Spare a thought for David Pun, a deviant, degenerate door list dodger who has most certainly lost out more than most...

Lockdown The Gin

With neighbours putting gin and tonics on each other’s doorsteps during the COVID-19 lockdown, we select the most amusing quotes about this fine spirit In a letter, published in The Telegraph on Tuesday, one Madeline...

Ask Charlie – Lockdown Afternoon Tea

Charlie Gray of ‘Ask Charlie’ shares her thoughts how to perfect a lockdown afternoon tea and her recipe for lavender scones During these extraordinary times, I have gone back to one of my favourite pleasures...

The Ever So Dry Land of No Milk & No Honey

Jonathan Downey, owner of London’s Milk & Honey bar, takes to social media to share news he won’t be reopening without a rent holiday; it is likely he is set to head a wave...

Boozed-Up Barrymore Boobs

As out of his skull Michael Barrymore yet again makes an utter prat of himself on Instagram, we remind him to stop “destroying” games and instead help get justice for Stuart Lubbock, the man...

Not Such A Lucky Strike

Coronavirus has proved a double blow to restaurateur Keith McNally: First he got the virus himself and now his original restaurant has closed permanently due to it Currently recovering from coronavirus himself, restaurateur Keith McNally...

Churchillian Boisdale

Boisdale prepares for celebration of ‘Victory Over CV19’ with the launch of fourteen ‘war bonds’ to be redeemed when gastronomes can again gather   With outposts in Belgravia, Bishopsgate, Canary Wharf and Mayfair, Boisdale is...

Positivity From Pleurat

Refugee turned “one-man vodka band” Pleurat Shabani shares a message of positivity (and a reminder that we’ll all be having a martini or three together again soon) Having escaped the civil war in Croatia, Kosovo...

Simplifying Sunday Lunch (in Chelsea)

Chelsea favourite No. Fifty Cheyne is now offering its Sunday lunch menu “in the comfort of your own home… with only very little further cooking needed” For those stranded in Chelsea and its environs during...

Preserved by Marmalade

Nonagenarian from Stockport beats coronavirus by eating marmalade sandwiches; she’s previously survived a bomb and likes biscuits also Like Guardian readers, we at The Steeple Times love marmalade and we especially enjoy marmalade with lots...

More Matters Marmalade – Part IV

As some ‘Guardian’ readers attempt to move on from marmalade, others demand the “marmalade saga” is allowed to continue on the letters pages Readers of the Guardian have been banging on about marmalade now for...

Riccardo’s Responds

Riccardo’s restaurant in Chelsea leads the way in showing community mindedness during the coronavirus outbreak Across the land small businesses are doing their bit for their communities and a case in point in Chelsea comes...

Hero of the Hour – Anonymous Fish & Chip Donor

Good Samaritan paying for villagers of Denchworth, Oxfordshire to have fish and chips once per week during the coronavirus lockdown deserves to be saluted For the next three months every Friday, the 171 residents of...

More Matters Marmalade – Part III

‘Guardian’ readers continue their debate about marmalade (and reference how they’re interacting with it during coronavirus) In Tuesday’s letter pages in the Guardian, one Catriona Todd penned a missive about the marmalade she’s been creating...

Picture of the Week – A Fish Finger F**k Up

As coronavirus panic buying hits supermarkets, Tesco show they’ve lost the plot when it comes to pricing Birds Eye fish fingers Tesco operates by the mantra that “Every Little Helps,” but at a time when...

Considering Corned Beef

Angry man sends bizarre letter to local newspaper to complain about the design of corned beef tins There are people with too much time on their hands and then there’s Daniel Farrington of Poplar Avenue,...

More Matters of Marmalade – Part II

‘Guardian’ readers continue their debate about marmalade (and get rather het up about the variety made with grapefruit) We thought they’d finished with this particular topic, but it seems Guardian readers just can’t get enough...

Who Sells Roger Rabbit?

In spite of being popular with the media classes as a meat of choice, Matthew Steeples asks: ‘Why don’t supermarkets sell rabbit?’ Last week in The Times, I came across a recipe for rabbit pie....

With Friends Like These…

That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the diminutive skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached ‘Randy Andy’ has never been considered capable of carefulness in his choice of company,...

McGee Magic

“The Lovely Debbie McGee” hits a new low in appearing in adverts for a crappy kitchen makeover company (with captions across her cleavage) The late Caroline Aherne (AKA Mrs Merton) made an utter fool of...

Damp Chips

Moaning granny complains to local newspaper about being treated like “trailer trash” after being “forced” to eat chips in the rain Joanne Leaman – a chav-like woman resembling something like Vicky Pollard from Little Britain...

A Peeved Pensioner

Angry granny Mary Ingamells contacts press to complain about finding a piece of wood in a tin of Tesco carrots and peas; she can also still feel a piece of orange in her throat...

Ask Charlie – How to perfect a Sunday roast

New columnist Charlie Gray of ‘Ask Charlie’ shares her tips as to how to cook a perfect Sunday roast A Sunday roast is the perfect time to leave your phones to one side, turn off...

A Tale of Two Lukes

Luke Johnson is wrong to urge consumers to embrace alcohol free spirits whilst Luke Jones was right to urge them to love martinis Under Luke Johnson’s reign Patisserie Valerie collapsed. He claimed the experience of...

More Matters of Marmalade

The debate over marmalade making and longevity continues in the ‘Guardian’ with a letter from a 74-year-old In the Guardian, the correlation of marmalade making and longevity continues in their letters pages.   The latest:   My husband will...

Death by Mixed Grill

Brewers Fayre mixed grill steak, gammon, fried eggs, chicken breast, pork sausage, chips, onion rings, grilled tomato and peas combo kills woman; five other gruesome culinary deaths A Welsh woman named Karen Hopkins – not...