In spite of being popular with the media classes as a meat of choice, Matthew Steeples asks: ‘Why don’t supermarkets sell rabbit?’
Last week in The Times, I came across a recipe for rabbit pie....
That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the diminutive skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached
‘Randy Andy’ has never been considered capable of carefulness in his choice of company,...
“The Lovely Debbie McGee” hits a new low in appearing in adverts for a crappy kitchen makeover company (with captions across her cleavage)
The late Caroline Aherne (AKA Mrs Merton) made an utter fool of...
Moaning granny complains to local newspaper about being treated like “trailer trash” after being “forced” to eat chips in the rain
Joanne Leaman – a chav-like woman resembling something like Vicky Pollard from Little Britain...
Angry granny Mary Ingamells contacts press to complain about finding a piece of wood in a tin of Tesco carrots and peas; she can also still feel a piece of orange in her throat...
New columnist Charlie Gray of ‘Ask Charlie’ shares her tips as to how to cook a perfect Sunday roast
A Sunday roast is the perfect time to leave your phones to one side, turn off...
Luke Johnson is wrong to urge consumers to embrace alcohol free spirits whilst Luke Jones was right to urge them to love martinis
Under Luke Johnson’s reign Patisserie Valerie collapsed. He claimed the experience of...
The debate over marmalade making and longevity continues in the ‘Guardian’ with a letter from a 74-year-old
In the Guardian, the correlation of marmalade making and longevity continues in their letters pages.
The latest:
My husband will...
Brewers Fayre steak, gammon, fried eggs, chicken breast, pork sausage, chips, onion rings, grilled tomato and peas combo kills woman; five other gruesome culinary deaths
A Welsh woman named Karen Hopkins – not a relative...
Readers of the ‘Guardian’ share their amusing stories correlating longevity and marmalade
During the last month, the Guardian has published a series of letters about old people and marmalade.
Amusingly, in them, the correspondents reference how...
Edinburgh pub that has banned men with bare ankles and suggests alcohol free gin to be nothing but overpriced cordial is to be saluted
Men who wear loafers without socks (termed “mankles,” we’ll have you...
Brexit bore Tim Martin, chairman of Wetherspoons yet again shows himself to be a draconian drip; what will this nutty nuisance ban next?
On Monday, the deranged dimwit Tim Martin, chairman of the J. D....
Sarah, Duchess of York should be ashamed of her latest attempt to profit from her (former) royal status
Sarah, Duchess of York (AKA ‘Fergie’) just cannot help herself. When not describing her former husband’s links...
Angry supposedly homophobic ex-Labour councillor contacts his local newspaper to rant about buying supposedly rotten meat in Morrisons
There are people with too much time on their hands and then there’s Terry Lawton from Tollesby,...
French chef Alain Ducasse is right to condemn Dry January and to suggest diners drink more, not less
January is frankly the month when people should drink more, not less. It is a month solicitors...
It’s no longer “Who Sloanes Wins” in Chelsea; welcome to the 2020s in SW3 – and the arrival of an age of vulgarity and coarseness
Chelsea used to be the land of Peter York’s Sloane...
Matthew Steeples suggests readers avoid ‘Veganuary’ and instead take up ‘Ginuary’ this month
‘Veganuary’ is all the rage at the moment. Articles about it abound and the blessed pest, the-ex-she turned somebody-of-undefined sex (‘Gender X’...
Matthew Steeples comes to concur that dining out on New Year’s Day is an utterly stupid idea (unless you want food poisoning)
Last week on the BBC’s Saturday Kitchen, a guest chef was asked about...
Sacked League Against Cruel Sports employee Jordi Camamitjana is the personification of crazy for seeking to have “ethical veganism recognised as a protected philosophical belief”
Jordi Casamitjana believes in what he calls ‘T-shirting.’ He always...
Bigoted ‘baroness’ Marie Claire von Alvensleben, famed for rolling around on the floor with disgraced TV star Michael Barrymore, spotted bargaining (unsuccessfully) in the Queen’s grocers
Convicted racist, drunk and bedraggled-pissed-up-lying-on-the-floor with he-who’s-yet-to-explain-a-death-in-swimming-pool Michael Barrymore,...
Scrooge-like Anthea Turner patronises the public yet again and announces she’ll be serving chicken rather than turkey this Christmas
“Hardly on the breadline” Anthea Turner likes excess. This anything but frugal self-publicist’s marital homes included...
The early demise of the master of modern British cuisine Gary Rhodes is truly a loss to be lamented
“Chef’s chef” Gary Rhodes OBE, unlike many of his contemporaries, was a gentleman.
Kind to his core...
Yet more proof that the J. D. Wetherspoon pub chain is to be avoided is revealed… Aside from European booze and dogs being banned, you might meet reckless, boozed-up mothers and bigots also
J. D....
Detached Essex pub put up for sale for less than the price of half a pint just as “Britain’s best pub” celebrates 20 years of success
The great British institution that is the public house...
JD Wetherspoon’s should be punished for spending nearly £100,000 on pro-Brexit beer mats at the behest of Tim Martin
Tim Martin is an odious man and he’s also highly irritating. That is for sure, but...
1927 Rolls-Royce Phantom I originally owned by Edward VIII for sale; it comes with a bottle of Berry Bros. & Rudd’s The Kings Ginger
Richard Biddulph of Vintage & Prestige Classic Cars gives away a...
Grade I listed Jacobean manor house on the Dorset-Somerset border for sale for the price of 170,000 bottles of gin; it comes with its own distillery and a private car museum also
Owned by the...
Iconic “Fawlty Towers-esque” Indian restaurant Gaylord in Mortimer Street, W1 permanently closes due to cockroach infestation
After being served with a hygiene emergency prohibition notice in August due to it having a “serious infestation of cockroaches,”...
Anthea Turner’s second wedding will forever be remembered for pictures of her biting into a Cadbury’s Flake; her third is going to be eternally linked to her fiancé’s policeman biting habit
‘Fuck I Used To...
Sir Cliff Richard wins a phallic victory against the BBC and remains left out of pocket; elsewhere the condescening crooner went overboard with a menu that included three salmon dishes
When he’s not crying on...
That Lewis Hamilton has chosen to open a “planet friendly” restaurant is surely a joke given his penchant for gas guzzlers
Lewis Hamilton is best known for going fast in gas guzzlers, but now it...
Belgravia hotel The Diplomat, which counts the helmet haired racist bigot Marie-Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben amongst its residents, has been condemned for being utterly disgusting.
Murky madam Ghislaine Maxwell spotted munching on a burger whilst reading a book about deaths linked to the CIA
Hiding out in the Cundy Street Flats in Belgravia didn’t work out for Ghislaine Maxwell. Plainly...
Britain’s most upmarket supermarket gets a visit from a woman who likes to help herself and eat in the aisles (in the presence of the racist bigot Marie-Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben even)
One can excuse...
New wine tribes identified as ‘Tiggers’ and ‘Angels’ reports Matthew Steeples; both are to be avoided at all costs (unless you are the modern day Boycie)
The label ‘Tigger’ was for a short time earlier...
New York restaurant that Googles any wannabe diner to see if they are rich enough has to be the most snotty dining spot in the world
Fleming by Le Bilboquet is a New York restaurant...
With the closure of New York’s Four Seasons, is the era of ‘the power lunch’ well and truly over both there and in Britain?
In October 1979, Esquire coined a new phrase: ‘The Power Lunch.’...
In making ‘Gender X’ pest Jack Monroe admit she got it wrong over milkshaking, Michael Portillo proved himself a truly talented debater
Jack Monroe is the kind of person who’d have justly got bullied at...
Owner of Britain’s remotest mainland pub, The Old Forge at Knoydart, goes to war with his very own locals (who’ve set up their own rival in protest)
British folk (and apparently even more so Scottish...
Matthew Steeples highlights five stalwart restaurants for your Rolodex in the Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea
The Chelsea Corner
451 Fulham Road, London, SW10 9UZ; +44 (0) 20 3055 0088
The Chelsea Corner replaced the ‘no...
Nonagenarian Iris Apfel yet again proves herself to be a truly brilliant gem; we should all heed her life and enjoy life to the full
On Thursday, the brilliantly talented wildcard this is the nonagenarian...
Matthew Steeples takes a look at where you might want to not go if you wish to avoid bad service, hygiene disasters and vile customers
Baglioni Hotel London – 60 Hyde Park Gate, Kensington, SW7...
Mini Cooper Sport nicknamed ‘Chuckles’ by owner Jay Kay to be auctioned; it comes complete with a mini bar and a disco light
Described as “remarkable, funky smile-a-mile” by Silverstone Auctions, a 2000 Rover...
As “arrogant, bigot” Councillor Janet Evans blocks The Steeple Times, we expose this South Kensington bar owner as utterly ridiculous and quite possibly “the rudest bar owner in London”
Janet’s Bar in South Kensington sits...
Marco Pierre White is right to ban the Michelin Guide from his restaurant; he and others should take similar action against TripAdvisor
News that Marco Pierre White has told the Michelin Guide that he’ll refuse...
The boozy bird the Duchess of Sussex and the newly formed The Independent Group have something in common; this “TIG moment” lover should become their leader
The former Meghan Markle – a bizarre woman who...
Matthew Steeples salutes Pret for doing more than most to help homeless people get jobs and permanent accommodation; others and the government should follow suit
Pret a Manger has come under a lot of flack...
