Friday, January 22, 2021
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TIPPLE & FARE

A Tale of Two Lukes

Luke Johnson is wrong to urge consumers to embrace alcohol free spirits whilst Luke Jones was right to urge them to love martinis Under Luke...

More Matters of Marmalade

The debate over marmalade making and longevity continues in the ‘Guardian’ with a letter from a 74-year-old In the Guardian, the correlation of marmalade making...

Death by Mixed Grill

Brewers Fayre steak, gammon, fried eggs, chicken breast, pork sausage, chips, onion rings, grilled tomato and peas combo kills woman; five other gruesome culinary...

A Matter of Marmalade

Readers of the ‘Guardian’ share their amusing stories correlating longevity and marmalade During the last month, the Guardian has published a series of letters about...

Heroes of the Hour – The Dreadnought

Edinburgh pub that has banned men with bare ankles and suggests alcohol free gin to be nothing but overpriced cordial is to be saluted Men...

Draconian Drinking

Brexit bore Tim Martin, chairman of Wetherspoons yet again shows himself to be a draconian drip; what will this nutty nuisance ban next? On Monday,...

Name & Shame – Fergie’s (Fat) Farm

Sarah, Duchess of York should be ashamed of her latest attempt to profit from her (former) royal status Sarah, Duchess of York (AKA ‘Fergie’) just...

Food Fury – Tezza The Steak Terror

Angry supposedly homophobic ex-Labour councillor contacts his local newspaper to rant about buying supposedly rotten meat in Morrisons There are people with too much time...

Hero of the Hour – Alain Ducasse

French chef Alain Ducasse is right to condemn Dry January and to suggest diners drink more, not less January is frankly the month when people...

Chelsea’s Chicken McNugget Girls

It’s no longer “Who Sloanes Wins” in Chelsea; welcome to the 2020s in SW3 – and the arrival of an age of vulgarity and...

Raising a Toast to Ginuary

Matthew Steeples suggests readers avoid ‘Veganuary’ and instead take up ‘Ginuary’ this month ‘Veganuary’ is all the rage at the moment. Articles about it abound...

It’s a NO to New Year’s Day Dining

Matthew Steeples comes to concur that dining out on New Year’s Day is an utterly stupid idea (unless you want food poisoning) Last week on...

Moron of the Moment – Jordi Casamitjana

Sacked League Against Cruel Sports employee Jordi Camamitjana is the personification of crazy for seeking to have “ethical veganism recognised as a protected philosophical...

Brazen Bigoted Baroness’ Boxing Day Baloney

Bigoted ‘baroness’ Marie Claire von Alvensleben, famed for rolling around on the floor with disgraced TV star Michael Barrymore, spotted bargaining (unsuccessfully) in the...

Anth Gets “A Bit Silly”

Scrooge-like Anthea Turner patronises the public yet again and announces she’ll be serving chicken rather than turkey this Christmas “Hardly on the breadline” Anthea Turner...

The Greatness of Gary

The early demise of the master of modern British cuisine Gary Rhodes is truly a loss to be lamented “Chef’s chef” Gary Rhodes OBE, unlike...

Martin’s Gone Bananas

Yet more proof that the J. D. Wetherspoon pub chain is to be avoided is revealed… Aside from European booze and dogs being banned,...

A Quid For A Pub

Detached Essex pub put up for sale for less than the price of half a pint just as “Britain’s best pub” celebrates 20 years...

Wally of the Week – Tim Martin

JD Wetherspoon’s should be punished for spending nearly £100,000 on pro-Brexit beer mats at the behest of Tim Martin Tim Martin is an odious man...

A Gingerly Roller

1927 Rolls-Royce Phantom I originally owned by Edward VIII for sale; it comes with a bottle of Berry Bros. & Rudd’s The Kings Ginger Richard...

Motoring Gin

Grade I listed Jacobean manor house on the Dorset-Somerset border for sale for the price of 170,000 bottles of gin; it comes with its...

Gaylord Gone

Iconic “Fawlty Towers-esque” Indian restaurant Gaylord in Mortimer Street, W1 permanently closes due to cockroach infestation After being served with a hygiene emergency prohibition notice in...

Anth’ Takes A Second Bite

Anthea Turner’s second wedding will forever be remembered for pictures of her biting into a Cadbury’s Flake; her third is going to be eternally...

Eating Over The Cliff

Sir Cliff Richard wins a phallic victory against the BBC and remains left out of pocket; elsewhere the condescening crooner went overboard with a...

A Planted Prat

That Lewis Hamilton has chosen to open a “planet friendly” restaurant is surely a joke given his penchant for gas guzzlers Lewis Hamilton is best...

The Dirty Diplomat

Belgravia hotel which counts the helmet haired racist bigot Marie-Claire, Baroness von Alvensleben amongst its residents condemned for being utterly disgusting If you want sweetcorn...

Maxwell Moves On

Murky madam Ghislaine Maxwell spotted munching on a burger whilst reading a book about deaths linked to the CIA Hiding out in the Cundy Street...

The Aisle Eater

Britain’s most upmarket supermarket gets a visit from a woman who likes to help herself and eat in the aisles (in the presence of...

Tiggers & Angels

New wine tribes identified as ‘Tiggers’ and ‘Angels’ reports Matthew Steeples; both are to be avoided at all costs (unless you are the modern...

The Snottiest Restaurant in The World

New York restaurant that Googles any wannabe diner to see if they are rich enough has to be the most snotty dining spot in...

The Death of The Power Lunch

With the closure of New York’s Four Seasons, is the era of ‘the power lunch’ well and truly over both there and in Britain? In...

Hero of the Hour – Michael Portillo

In making ‘Gender X’ pest Jack Monroe admit she got it wrong over milkshaking, Michael Portillo proved himself a truly talented debater Jack Monroe is...

Pitchforks at the Ready

Owner of Britain’s remotest mainland pub, The Old Forge at Knoydart, goes to war with his very own locals  (who’ve set up their own...

Five of the Best – The Royal Borough’s Best Restaurants

Matthew Steeples highlights five stalwart restaurants for your Rolodex in the Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea The Chelsea Corner 451 Fulham Road, London, SW10 9UZ;...

Ice Cream Iris

Nonagenarian Iris Apfel yet again proves herself to be a truly brilliant gem; we should all heed her life and enjoy life to the...

Five of the Worst – London Bars and Restaurants

Matthew Steeples takes a look at where you might want to not go if you wish to avoid bad service, hygiene disasters and vile...

The Car’s The Bar

Mini Cooper Sport nicknamed ‘Chuckles’ by owner Jay Kay to be auctioned; it comes complete with a mini bar and a disco light Described as...

Barring Janet

As “arrogant, bigot” Councillor Janet Evans blocks The Steeple Times, we expose this South Kensington bar owner as utterly ridiculous and quite possibly “the...

The Madness of Michelin

Marco Pierre White is right to ban the Michelin Guide from his restaurant; he and others should take similar action against TripAdvisor   News that Marco...

TIGing a Drunken Duchess

The boozy bird the Duchess of Sussex and the newly formed The Independent Group have something in common; this “TIG moment” lover should become...

Praise Be To Pret

Matthew Steeples salutes Pret for doing more than most to help homeless people get jobs and permanent accommodation; others and the government should follow...

Harridan Heather

That Heather Mills has returned to the public eye is nothing but awful; please could someone just send her to Siberia?   When one thought the...

Billing Against Brexit

As a restaurant popular with politicians adds anti-Brexit slogans to its bills, it must be highlighted that the hospitality industry is entirely dependent on...

Supporting Giovanni

Matthew Steeples criticises the ‘Evening Standard’s’ Benedict Moore-Bridger for his unjustified attack on the Knightsbridge restaurant Giovanni   Benedict Moore-Bridger is an Evening Standard journalist who...

Proudly Proudlock

Restaurateur and Chelsea beacon Michael Proudlock dies   Michael Proudlock left this earth in a fashion befitting of a bon viveur. After a “lavish lunch” at...

Caught on Caramel

Fire at Caramel restaurant in South Kensington suspected to be arson   Now, in the wake of the fire at Caramel restaurant on Brompton Road, South...

Caramelized

Frontage of former La Brasserie premises in South Kensington – now Caramel – burnt to a crisp   Last night, at around 3.30am, the frontage...

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