Thursday, April 7, 2022

Pintless, Pointless & Pathetic

The government’s decision to ban people from further drinking after they’ve finished a “substantial meal” is pointless and pathetic

This morning, The Sun on Sunday revealed that the government is ludicrously banning people dining on “substantial meals” from having an extra drink after they have finished munching in pubs.

 

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‘Carrie Not On Regardless’s’ puppet ‘Bosie The Clown’s’ spokesman told the paper:

 

“The length of exposure is one of the main factors in the spread of the virus which is why alcohol may only be served as part of a main table meal, and cannot be served once the meal is finished.”

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“There is no prescribed limit for how long a meal is expected to take, however we expect people to act reasonably and exercise good judgement.”

 

In response, readers left some very pointed comments. They numbered:

 

  • “Order a soup and request a fork to eat it with. Simple.”
  • “Just leave a chip on the plate.”
  • “Eat slowly, very slowly!”
  • “They are extracting the urine, big time.”
  • “So go to Wetherspoons, order egg and chips and six pints. Eat a chip and then spend three hours drinking. That’s how Tory Tim [Martin] will get round this one.”
  • “They want you to stuff yourself silly in a packed bar, restaurant piling on the pounds when their own scientific evidence suggests that fatties are some of the most vulnerable to COVID-19.”
  • “Just order the food and eat half of it, take three or four hours to eat slowly, order more drinks. Now bog off Doris and co.”
  • “I’d be cutting my peas into quarters.”
  • “Fish, chips and eight pints of wife-beater, please.”
  • “Large bowl of rice a toothpick, please.”

 

Yet again providing evidence of how all-over-the-shot the chaotic new ‘tiering’ system will be, here is another death knell for an already on its knees sector. With seven out ten pubs predicted to close as a result of the already “damaging” restrictions, where, after this all ends, will be left to go for a cheeky pint?

 

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Pintless, Pointless & Pathetic – Fun police strike again at boozers – The government’s decision to ban people from further drinking after they’ve finished a “substantial meal” is pointless and pathetic.
Pintless, Pointless & Pathetic – As a result of the damaging yet pointless policies of this government, we might end up left with just 30% of the pubs that were open before the coronavirus pandemic struck.

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Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.

8 COMMENTS

  1. If a small number of people cannot act responsibly everyone has to suffer.
    Instead of continually moaning why don’t you use your pen to get investment into pubs so that the industry still exists when normality comes?

    • Why don’t you? You don’t like our articles, yet nobody forces you to read them.

      I am supporting hospitality friends as much as I can.

  2. But they’ve only got our best interests at heart. Why don’t they tell us when we should eat, it’s not good to eat dinner after 7pm. And how long we should take to eat a meal, stop dawdling. Oh, and what we should eat – too much fried food isn’t good for you, replace with delicious kale.

  3. Covid Carnage takes everyone down, decimated business, bankrupt people , mental health dive, how far will this totalitarian Gov go ? How are they still allowed to destroy this country? utterly incompetent bunch of politicians

  4. I will consume my my first pint of beer in a soup dish, with a spoon. I am certain to be wanting a second helping and I will have a pint of Dorothy Goodbodies to go with it please.

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