Saturday, December 3, 2022
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OPULENCE & SPLENDOUR

Punchy & Paltry Priced Properties – From Balmy To Bonkers; £1 For A Cottage, £3 Million For A Room

Which would you prefer? One room in Knightsbridge for a punchy payment of £3 million or a detached 16th century cottage for the paltry price of £1 in the West Midlands?

Cut Price Cairness House – 58% Slashed Off Price Of “Scotland’s most important Greek Revival house”

“Internationally important” Greek Revival Cairness House has its price slashed from £3 million to just £1.25 million in spite of it having been given a renovation that supposedly cost over £1 million.

A 6-Mile Mini – 2001 Mini Cooper Sells For Staggering Sum Of £60,000

RM Sotheby’s auctioneer Lord Dalmeny hammers down a 2001 Mini Cooper with 6 miles on the clock for the staggering sum of nearly £60,000; it would have cost around £10,500 new.

Five of the Worst 2022 – Murder Houses Currently For Sale

‘The Steeple Times’ selects five houses currently for sale that previously were decked out with “police line do not cross” tape after murders occurred there.

A Transatlantic Triumph – The Amazing Art Of Amanda Watt

Northern Irish ‘fusionist’ artist Amanda Watt’s ‘Release’ exhibition in St James’s, London is a must visit suggests Matthew Steeples.

SW3’s Smallest – Smallest Stand-Alone House In Chelsea For Sale For Staggering Sum

Smallest stand-alone house in Chelsea for sale for 100% more than it was offered for in 2017; there’s barely room to swing a cat.

Evil Epstein Erased – “Cape Dutch McMansion” To Replace “Paedo Pad” In Palm Beach At Site Of Former Jeffrey Epstein Home

Latest owners of sickening site of Jeffrey Epstein’s Palm Beach £13.2 million “paedo pad” seek to erase memories of what went on there with construction of a “Cape Dutch” style crib.

A £65 Million ‘Bargain’ Boat – Seized Oligarch Gin Palace For Auction

As government of Gibraltar auctions a seized £65 million oligarch superyacht with interiors by Jeffrey Epstein’s favourite designer to ‘bargain seekers,’ Matthew Steeples asks: “Why haven’t other seized ‘questionable assets’ been sold off already?”

Catching A Bargain Artists’ Studio In SW3

Swanky renovated artists’ studio in ritzy South Kensington enclave for sale for just £375,000 – naturally, there’s a catch.

‘Island of Hope’ – Bull Sand Fort Sells For 880% Above Guide

Once planned as an ‘Island of Hope’ for detoxing drug addicts, derelict Bull Sand Fort in the Humber Estuary sells at auction for 880% above its £50,000 guide price.

A Miniature Downton – £10.5 Million Poston Court

“Stately home in miniature” Poston Court could become the most expensive small country estate ever sold in Herefordshire; is it worth £10.5 million?

The Return of the Topper

Matthew Steeples talks to Martin Ellis Jones of Hetherington Hats about the return of the ‘topper’ as real-life drama returns to Royal Ascot in June 2022.

A NYC Hotel That’s Never Been A Hotel – Apartment For Sale In Hotel Des Artistes

Duplex in a New York hotel that’s never been an actual hotel for sale for £1.1 million; Hotel Des Artistes has been home to everyone from Sir Noël Coward and Isadora Duncan to Gary Oldman and Rudolph Valentino.

Taking The Fifth – Dubious Glenn And Eva Dubin And A 16% Down-In-Price Duplex

Duplex in ritzy Upper East Side co-op where Jeffrey Epstein besties Glenn and Eva Dubin live slashed in price; who’d want them as neighbours given their links to the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell are about to be unsealed?

Monckton Murder House For Sale – ‘666 Devil Child’ Killing

Chelsea townhouse where financier John Monckton was tragically murdered by “666 Devil’s Child” Damien Hanson in 2004 for sale for sum 18% lower than it was offered for in 2013; it is situated opposite a church where a bomb in 1940 killed 19 people.

Previewing Salon Privé 2022

Matthew Steeples takes a look at what will be on offer at Salon Privé 2022 at the Royal Hospital in Chelsea from 21st to 23rd April – a showcase that will include the world’s first commercial flying car.

From £50 to £15,000

Chinese vase found in 2-up, 2-down house in Nottinghamshire sells for sum 29,900% higher than its estimate much to surprise of owner who was told by auction house to expect just £50 for it.

A Maxwell Mess In Manchester – Ghislaine Maxwell’s Bad Taste

WORLD EXCLUSIVE – We reveal pictures never seen before inside Ghislaine Maxwell’s £5.4 million Manchester-by-the-Sea hideaway that show her and her errant hubby’s appallingly bad taste in the decorating department and share an image of the convicted sex trafficker’s super-sized “party shower” where goodness knows what went on.

Punting The Paedo Islands

Croaked Jeffrey Epstein’s ‘paedo islands’ go up for sale for ‘just’ £95 million in spite of supposedly being worth £182 million; we ask: “Who on earth would want to live in a place where such hellish abuse occurred?”

Oyston For Rent

Controversial ex-owner of Blackpool Football Club Owen Oyston – associate of paedophiles Max Clifford and Stuart Hall and also ‘Coronation Street’ actor ‘Cock Roache’ Bill Roache – puts his gaudy gold-clad Lancashire mansion up for rent for the astonishing sum of £40,000 per month.

Getting Away Scott Free – Scott Borgerson Sells Up

“Ugly memories” prompt Ghislaine Maxwell’s estranged hubby Scott Borgerson to offload his £5.4 million Manchester-by-the-Sea mansion as he moves on with a sexually saucy “yoga enthusiast” with an “ass that could crack open a walnut.”

Five Of The Best 2022 – The ‘Withnail & I’ Sale

As items from the fictional home of Uncle Monty in ‘Withnail & I’ go to auction, we choose five of the best offered starting at just £100 and share also a selection of quotes from this wonderful black comedy and offer up the ingredients to play the film’s infamous accompanying drinking game.

Blake’s Bentley Pops Up Again

One-of-one 2016 Bentley Continental GT V8 S convertible designed by artist Sir Peter Blake pops up again at auction at a price 60% higher than it achieved when last sold in 2016 (or double the price of a standard car when new).

Marvellous (Or Not So Marvellous) Marle Hall

Georgian mansion Marle Hall on 3.6 acres in Wales goes on sale for just £400,000 or £24 per square foot in spite of having 16,608 square foot of accommodation and “impressive views.”

Do Duck, Don’t Crap – Primitive Private Island On Sale

Just as former BBC Radio 4 ‘Desert Islands Discs’ host Kirsty Young buys her own island, another on the coast of Maine goes on sale for just £250,000; Ducks Ledges Island comes with a tiny cottage (but lacks a proper Thomas Crapper).

Moss Moves On

British vodka baron Julian Moss to sell his spectacular £15.8 million riverfront country estate just an hour from Sydney in Australia.

Peckham Springs Hits The Big Apple – Turn £373,000 into £75 million

Fifteen-bedroom house outside New York with supposed potential to make £75 million for sale for just £373,000; could this be America’s answer to Del Boy’s ‘Peckham Springs’?

Rolling With Karl Lagerfeld

Three Rolls-Royces that belonged to the late designer Karl Lagerfeld to be auctioned by Sotheby’s; the eccentric never drove them himself.

Epstein’s Parisian Paedo Pad

Jeffrey Epstein’s Parisian paedo pad goes on sale just as the PM’s sister leaps to mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s defence and her gyrating partner Geordie Greig gets ousted from the ‘Daily Mail.’

Website of the Week 2021 – @littlethatchedhouse

Instagram account @littlethatchedhouse shares amusing videos and quaint pictures about life in one of Britain’s smallest detached houses; the videos of cars being “attacked” by stones are hilarious.

Creepy Compton Bassett

White elephant country house in Wiltshire belonging to Robbie Williams back on the market for knockdown price after he describes it as “creepy.”

A Megayacht Bargain

What will be the world’s 28th largest ‘megayacht’ to be offered for sale for the surprisingly low bargain basement sum of ‘just’ £18.3 million and at no reserve; why doesn’t Boris Johnson buy it for Britain?