11.8 C
London
Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Lockdown The Gin

With neighbours putting gin and tonics on each other’s doorsteps during the COVID-19 lockdown, we select the most amusing quotes about this fine spirit

In a letter, published in The Telegraph on Tuesday, one Madeline Glancy remarked:

SIR – Every Friday in lockdown, my neighbour has left a delicious gin and tonic at my front door. Beats tinned tomatoes hands down.

Madeline Glancy

Prestwich, Lancashire

If only if all neighbours were so community minded.

Some of the best quotes about gin follow for your amusement:

Not so strangely, most of them are without citation – probably due to the fact that they were likely made when their originators were suitably imbibed in juniper flavoured heaven.

“Let the evening beGIN!” – Anon.

“I don’t know what reception I’m at, but for God’s sake, give me a gin and tonic” –the well-known gin lover and husband of Margaret Thatcher, Denis Thatcher.

“Life is too short for single gins” – Anon.

“Red meat and gin” – America’s answer to Keith Floyd, Julia Child, on the reason for her longevity.

“I love water, especially when it’s frozen and surrounded by gin” – Anon.

“I exercise strong self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast” – American actor and comedian W. C. Fields.

“Gin-drinking is a great vice in England, but wretchedness and dirt are a greater [vice]” – Charles Dickens, Sketches (1836).

“When life gives you juniper, make gin!” – Holistic health author Laurie Buchanan.

“Don’t cry over spilt milk, it could’ve been gin” – Anon.

Night school tutor: “Write a horror story in six words.”

Student: “I-have-run-out-of-gin” – Anon.

“A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy” – Noël Coward.

“The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory; it is one of the happiest marriages on earth, and one of the shortest lived” – American historian Bernard DeVoto.

“The gin and tonic has saved more Englishmen’s lives, and minds, than all the doctors in the Empire” – Winston Churchill.

“Of all the gin joints, in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine” – Humphrey Bogart as Rick in Casablanca (1942).

“Gym? I thought you said: ‘Gin’” – Anon.

“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron” – Comedian Phyllis Diller.

“Stop saying I’m hard to buy for… You know where the gin aisle is” – Anon.

“You’d learn more about the world by lying on the couch and drinking gin out of a bottle than by watching the news” – American radio personality Garrison Keillor.

“Fortunately there is gin, the sole glimmer in this darkness. Do you feel the golden, copper-coloured light it kindles in you? I like walking through the city of an evening in the warmth of gin” – French philosopher and journalist Albert Camus.

“I tried to say no to gin… But it’s 40% stronger than me” – Anon.

“I’ll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody” – Dr. Hawkeye Pierce from M*A*S*H.

“Things, since you left, have not gone well with me: they have taken me from a place where there was gin to a place where there is no gin” – British barrister and detective story author Sarah Cockburn (pseudonym Sarah Caudwell).

“According to chemists, gin IS a solution” – Anon.

“Gin and drugs, dear lady, gin and drugs” – The reply of T. S. Eliot when asked about inspiration.

“It’s always gin o’clock” – Anon.

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

6 COMMENTS

  1. My neighbour leaves a huge gin and tonic on my garden table at 2pm each afternoon we then holler ‘cheers’ over the fence. Wonderfully welcome!

  2. Bring on the Gin with Tonics, Negronis, Martinis, John Collins and Gin Sour all are delicious tonight I will have Marmalade Gin Martini perhaps two.

  3. Myself I’m a fan of the gin without the tonic.
    Why on God’s great earth would you want to water down such masterpiece.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Most Popular

Crackpot Cliff Can Still Breathe

‘The Daily Mail’ gets over enthusiastic in sharing news of creepy crackpot crooner Sir Cliff Richard’s new album, ‘Music… The Air That I Breathe’ whilst only 18 fans react on YouTube.

Moron of the Moment – Laurence Fox

Laurence Fox has morphed from a much loved tellybox treasure into a tedious twerp; his new political party deserves only ‘destination dustbin’

Drip & Draining Michael Jackson

IV drip and fluid bag that was “in the arms” of Michael Jackson on his deathbed sells at auction for an astounding sum.

Rotten Reeking Rolf Returns

As Rolf Harris is spotted pounding the pavements in soiled clothing, the public must be reminded that this paedo pest is still nothing but a mucky monster.

Bombshell Bill

“Bombshell revelation” about Bill Clinton dining with Ghislaine Maxwell after she was first accused is a signal he’s likely headed under the bus.

Stand Up Against Snitch O’Flock

Matthew Steeples condemns the government’s ludicrous new 10pm bar, pub and restaurant curfew and slams the snitch culture of the next likely lockdown.

A Highway Ponzi House

Montauk beach house built for Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff resurfaces for sale for double what U.S. Marshalls got for it in 2009; its price seems crazy given it could be washed away by erosion.

A Socially Distanced Showcase

An invitation from businesswoman Heather Bird Tchenguiz to a socially distanced ‘by appointment’ exhibition of the works of William Cookson in Knightsbridge this September.

Ban the InstaKiller

Wolf slaying ‘InstaKiller’ Larysa Switlyk disgracefully remains on Instagram in spite of campaign to remove her going viral on Change.org

The Collapse of The Clown

Despite all of Dominic Cummings’ efforts Boris Johnson is morphing into the most miserable Prime Minister of modern times; how much longer will the blubbering buffoon ‘Bosie The Clown’ last?

Escaping the Dick

That an escaped prisoner couldn’t get himself rearrested in spite of willingly handing himself into the Met Police seven times is ludicrous; Cressida Dick should take responsibility and resign

Coming up for Ayr

‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the top picks for today’s Ayr Gold Cup Handicap and opts for a tidy priced 28/1 option.

Neighbours from Hell

As Priti Patel is slammed by her neighbours as a ‘snitch,’ the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are voted “the famous couple Brits would least like to live next door to” along with Boris Johnson and Kerry Katona.

The Distraction of Christian B

As Christian Brueckner’s lawyer highlights that German police have found no link to ‘disappearance’ of Madeleine McCann, we suggest distraction technique is ‘in play.’

Mother Maxwell

Matthew Steeples suggests Jeffrey Epstein treated Ghislaine Maxwell like a “mother figure.”

Phillip Schofield – What a Plonker!

All-round plonker Phillip Schofield’s wine range condemned as “only fit for the bin” and “no more palatable than fizzy Ribena;” it looks like his “sh*tty offering” might go the same way as that sold by Sir Cliff Richard.

Weather Now

London
overcast clouds
11.8 ° C
13 °
10 °
87 %
2.1kmh
100 %
Wed
18 °
Thu
15 °
Fri
14 °
Sat
15 °
Sun
13 °