Baglioni Hotel London – 60 Hyde Park Gate, Kensington, SW7 5BB
The bar at the Baglioni Hotel serves gin and tonics. They don’t actually know how to serve gin and tonics. If you’re lucky, you get something close to a single measure of something ghastly like Gordon’s and then they charge you something like £28 for the bloody privilege. Forget it.
Bluebird – 350 Kings Road, Chelsea, SW3 5UU
Two stories to keep beside you
Five of the Best: Hotel bars in New York City
Oliver Estreich selects his five favourite hotel bars in New York Oliver Estreich, the founder of the well-known social network theNativeSociety, is the man about town to know in New York. Here, he selects five of his favourite hotel bars
Five of the Best – The Royal Borough’s Best Restaurants
Matthew Steeples highlights five stalwart restaurants for your Rolodex in the Royal Borough of Kensington & Chelsea The Chelsea Corner 451 Fulham Road, London, SW10 9UZ; +44 (0) 20 3055 0088 The Chelsea Corner replaced the ‘no frills’ Chelsea Kitchen in August 2018 and occupies what was originally a public house. Managed by the most […]
Described as “soulless and overpriced” by the New York Times, Bluebird on Kings Road is too vast for its own good. It’s rather like a warehouse but one full of the trashiest cast members of Made in Chelsea. A total dump and a hangout for angry middle-aged, divorced women and their braying brats, this is a place that serves the most revolting food known to man. The fare is so bad, in fact, that even a dog starved for a year wouldn’t touch it.
Harry’s Dolce Vita – 27-31 Basil Street, Knightsbridge, SW3 1BB
Harry’s Dolce Vita is somewhere Giles Coren hates. It’s somewhere the ‘Gulfies’ love. Narrow and full of oiks like Lucy Siddiqi and her deranged ‘vlogger’ daughter, Tijan, this idiotic hell-hole makes you throw a dice if you want a Negroni. God knows why. I’d throw a dice to Never Ever go back. There’s a reference to the pop group All Saints in that, but what is clear is this: We’d even rather the fleapit that was Café Rouge came back. (Pictured immediately above: Lucy Siddiqi harrassing the gold door of Harry’s Dolce Vita)
Janet’s Bar – 30 Old Brompton Road, South Kensington, SW7 3DL
Janet’s Bar has quite possibly the worst set of reviews ever on TripAdvisor. The majority fall into the category “terrible” and such news won’t surprise anyone who has actually been there. “Run” – if this acid tongued Tory councilor is capable of such an action – by one Janet Evans, here is a bar that should be a hit. For one, it is has late licence and for two, it’s in the middle of South Kensington – but no, Janet just cannot help herself. She is mean to her staff we’re reliably told, but worse still, this vicious old bat treats her customers like shit. Supposedly, also, she rarely bothers to wash the glasses. Go there at your peril.
Princi – 135 Wardour Street, Soho, W1F 0UT
Princi in Wardour Street is a pizza joint with bouncers. If you dare criticise their frankly crap “plastic pizza,” they’ll chuck you out. Avoid the bother and just go somewhere wonderful like Delfino in Mount Street or Riccardo’s in Fulham Road instead.
Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes
Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes
Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples
Readers have their say
6 comments
Surprised Brinkleys isn’t on the list. Although have met some attractive one nighters there.
I always see Lizzie Cundy when I pass Bluebird. I don’t go in. One wonders if she’s wearing knickers.
thank you for alerting us to those.
There also many unsavoury arab and italian and other restaurants round the corner from me in Knightsbridge, one in particular has its curtains closed at all times as inside is a smoking inferno, and no doubt there is more than cigarettes.. It is opposite the Bulgari Hotel side entrance. There are scary bouncers outside this bunker . The council is turning a blind eye. I would suspect there must be on the take.. otherwise how to explain .
Very well observed and well written. I totally agree with NYT review of Bluebird Cafe. Soulless. What ever is it meant to be?
Ugh that siddiqi brunch. Father is Tariq who is the biggest fake out there. Always trying to get invites to Tchenguiz’s parties etc….
Close them all down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now!!!!!!!!!!!!