Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Give Thanks Ghislaine – Mucky Madam Maxwell Gets Tofurky® Dinner For Thanksgiving 2022

Noxious nonce Ghislaine Maxwell will no doubt give thanks that she’s getting Tofurky® this Thanksgiving; the notoriously fussy eater will likely love this vegan nosh-up

Forest Grove, Oregon based Turtle Island Foods developed Tofurky® – a vegan turkey replacement made from a blend of wheat protein and organic tofu – in 1995. They sold just 500 of their Tofurky® Thanksgiving roasts that year, but by 2006 were offloading in excess of 201,000 of what they call “good gracious Torfurky bodacious” ‘delights.’ Now, in 2022, they’re gaining a new ‘fan’ in the form of the grubby groper Ghislaine Maxwell.


Known for her notoriously fussy eating habits and not liking anything she’s been given since her arrest and incarceration in July 2020, the mucky madam is to be fed the turkey substitute today as part of celebrations for Thanksgiving during a “vegan feast” at low-security FCI Tallahassee prison in Florida.


Described by the’s Vanessa Serna somewhat laughably as a “tasty dinner” and “meatless alternative to the traditional bird,” the “bird-doing-bird” Maxwell will also be able to participate in holiday contests, such as volleyball, kickball, board games and a three-point shooting contest, according to a spokesperson from the prison.”


“Holiday films” will follow thereafter and there’ll also be “a boxed meal of peanut butter and jelly, fruit, whole wheat bread and dessert.” How lovely


Whilst dining, no doubt, croaked fellow paedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s ex-lover will be able to remember how her gruesome pig of a father used to ram his ham hock sized hands into cans of caviar and weep at a luxurious life now lost. Diddums.


Pictured Top – The seriously spoilt, Oxford educated, devian daughter of a pugnacious pension pot plunderer used to spend her days living it up whilst dressed in fancy (if frightful) frocks; she now spends her days pounding the parades of a Florida prison.


Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party.


Ghislaine Maxwell dining with Jean-Luc Brunel
In times past, on ‘Paedo Island’ the mucky madam Maxwell used to enjoy dinners looking out to sea with fellow sex traffickers like Jean-Luc Brunel. He’s now ‘suicided’ whilst she’s reduced to prison tray suppers.
It’ll be Tofurky® only for her for Thanksgiving 2022 (and every year now until 2037) unless she decides to fess-up the names of some of her equally grubby associates… Yum, yum, gobble, gobble. Not.
Joe Biden pardons turkey
President Joe Biden pardoned a turkey for Thanksgiving. Will he do the same for Miss Maxwell? Though she’s no doubt got dirt on the forgetful 46th POTUS, it seems he’ll be more inclined to let the convicted sex trafficker rot in spite of the dirt she’s most definitely still got on so many connected to him.
Mick Jagger with Ghislaine Maxwell
In October 2020, international animal rights organisation PETA ludicrously issued a press release demanding that prison authorities give alleged sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell (pictured here at a dinner with Mick Jagger) “her vegan meals.” In it, they remarked: “Regardless of how anyone feels about Ms Maxwell, no one should be forced to eat the corpse of an animal who felt pain and fear and didn’t want to die.” Rightminded people responded by asking: “Haven’t they anything better to campaign about or anyone better to campaign for?”
Ghislaine Maxwell with Keith Lieberthal, Julianna Margulies and Josh Lucas
The ‘Bouncing Czech’s’ daughter, in her past life as a socialite and sidekick of the now croaked paedophile ‘financier’ Jeffrey Epstein, was used to dining at ritzy functions with the likes of Keith Lieberthal, Julianna Margulies and Josh Lucas.
Ghislaine Maxweel at In-N-Out Burger, Los Angeles
In August 2019, the supposedly sophisticated vegan alleged mucky madam was spotted munching on a burger at an In-N-Out Burger fast food ‘restaurant’ in Los Angeles. Later, the image was exposed as a fake due to the fact it featured advertising in the background that had never actually appeared in that location and thus provided yet more indication of how truly deviant Robert Maxwell’s deviant daughter truly is.
Captain Bob Missing Money Sex Trafficking to No One
Rightly, the public still continue to question where the £500 million ($606 million, €582 million or درهم2.2 billion) Robert Maxwell stole from the poor pensioners of the firm he plundered went; rightly they also keep demanding to know why “not one person who paid to rape children on Epstein’s island has not been arrested also.” In the coming days, ‘The Steeple Times’ will reveal further information about how ‘Cap’n Bob’ recruited Jeffrey Epstein into his deviant scheme in London, long before his deranged, deviant daughter met the since croaked paedophile in New York.
Bill Clinton spins the wheel for Ghislaine Maxwell
A cartoon doing the rounds on social media channels pictures President Clinton – who flew on the ‘Lolita Express’ owned by the paedophile Jeffrey Epstein at least 27 times – with a ‘Pedo Elite’s Wheel of Death’ and his since incarcerated great mate Ghislaine Maxwell. One option on the wheel is: “Choked on prison food,” but it’s more likely that the meal the noxious nonce will be getting today will just make her perform the vomit comet.
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. Federal prisons in the U S take better care of their convicts than our veterans. The system is a joke.. I’ll butterball turkey over tofu


  2. Hey Matthew, while I could care less what Ghislaine has for any meal, I looked up Tofurky and intend to buy their products. I wonder if Shaun (Attwood) has tasted them.

    See you soon!


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