Sunday, April 21, 2024

Cheap Meals

A McCrispy Funeral – McDonald’s Mocked For Placing “Darkly Comical” Advert Next To Crematorium

As McDonald’s attracts mockery for placing a “darkly comical” advert for their McCrispy sandwich next to a crematorium sign in Cornwall, we discover a journalist enthusiast for the processed chicken product who even wears McDonald’s branded leisurewear.

Moron of the Moment 2022 – Grim Grifter Jack Monroe

The elevation of busybody-bore and all-round grim grifter Jack Monroe by ‘The Grocer’ represents a pinnacle in pointlessness claims Matthew Steeples; Keith Floyd this lentil loving loon certainly ain’t.

Heroes of the Hour – Free Christmas Lunch With Wine For All Lonely Singles At The Alexandra Wimbledon, 25th December 2022

As the cost of living crisis deepens, the kindness of The Alexandra Wimbledon is to be saluted; they are offering free Christmas lunches with wine on 25th December for all lonely single people.

Give Thanks Ghislaine – Mucky Madam Maxwell Gets Tofurky® Dinner For Thanksgiving 2022

Noxious nonce Ghislaine Maxwell will no doubt give thanks that she’s getting Tofurky® this Thanksgiving; the notoriously fussy eater will likely love this vegan nosh-up.

Hero of the Hour 2022 – Crusading £1 Per Head Chef Miguel Barclay

In actually showing the British public how to actually cook a meal costing no more than £1 per head, TV chef Miguel Barclay contributes something useful whereas the likes of food bank fighters Lee Anderson MP and Jack Monroe continue just to carp.

Wonderful Wise Waitrose – Supermarket Sensibly Scraps Best-Before Dates On 500 Fresh Products

In scrapping best-before dates on 500 fresh products, Waitrose has seen sense and will help reduce food waste; they should be saluted, but what will ‘went-off-at-birth’ Waitrose-hater Owen Jones have to say?

Monroe v Anderson 2022 – Mouthy Menace v Mouthy Menace

As mouthy menace Jack Monroe threatens to sue mouthy menace Lee Anderson MP, Matthew Steeples suggests the only winner will be the laughing-all-the-way-to-the-bank lawyers; why don’t these tiresome attention seekers forget Monroe v Anderson and have a 30p cook-off hosted by Jamie Oliver instead?