Thursday, February 22, 2024
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Kitchen Nightmares

Please, God No… ‘The Tig’ To Be Revived By ‘HighGella Lawson’ Wannabe Meghan Markle

As the Duchess of Sussex gets busy with ‘lemon olive oil cake’ for a new cookery book and revives ‘The Tig’ also, one is left wondering if she’ll collaborate with Elizabeth Arden and promote ‘todger cream’ as well.

A McCrispy Funeral – McDonald’s Mocked For Placing “Darkly Comical” Advert Next To Crematorium

As McDonald’s attracts mockery for placing a “darkly comical” advert for their McCrispy sandwich next to a crematorium sign in Cornwall, we discover a journalist enthusiast for the processed chicken product who even wears McDonald’s branded leisurewear.

Moron of the Moment 2022 – Grim Grifter Jack Monroe

The elevation of busybody-bore and all-round grim grifter Jack Monroe by ‘The Grocer’ represents a pinnacle in pointlessness claims Matthew Steeples; Keith Floyd this lentil loving loon certainly ain’t.

The Cliffmas Gravy Train 2022

How can the pugnacious pensioner Sir Cliff Richard be spending Christmas Day making gravy ‘live’ in London with queue jumpers Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield when he also claims to be spending it in Fort Lauderdale, Florida also?

Give Thanks Ghislaine – Mucky Madam Maxwell Gets Tofurky® Dinner For Thanksgiving 2022

Noxious nonce Ghislaine Maxwell will no doubt give thanks that she’s getting Tofurky® this Thanksgiving; the notoriously fussy eater will likely love this vegan nosh-up.

Wally of the Week 2022 – Bombastic Bully & Bore Jack Monroe

In patronising the poor, bombastic bully and bore Jack Monroe yet again shows her truly nasty colours; here is a pontificating pillock who helps utterly nobody (apart from her not-so-sorry self).

Monroe v Anderson 2022 – Mouthy Menace v Mouthy Menace

As mouthy menace Jack Monroe threatens to sue mouthy menace Lee Anderson MP, Matthew Steeples suggests the only winner will be the laughing-all-the-way-to-the-bank lawyers; why don’t these tiresome attention seekers forget Monroe v Anderson and have a 30p cook-off hosted by Jamie Oliver instead?