Monday, April 22, 2024

The Lights Are On But No One Should Be Home… Royal Ratbag Prince Andrew SHOULD Be Turfed Out Of Royal Lodge

As Prince Andrew and Sarah, Duchess of York fall into yet another Daphne Barak trap, Matthew Steeples suggests this dimwitted pair of dunces SHOULD now be turfed out of Royal Lodge

Neither non-sweater Prince Andrew nor his “needy and greedy,” live-in ex-wife Sarah, Duchess of York are known as Britain’s brightest brainboxes. Now, though, with news that they’re “digging their heels” in and refusing to leave Royal Lodge, Windsor comes further proof that this pugnacious pair of pillocks simply cannot read the room and that they clearly most definitely realise that the writing is one the world.


Not the brightest bulbs in the box and in fact also clearly the dimmest dunces in the royal family, the ‘Grand Old Duke of Broke’ and his repeatedly nigh on bankrupt sidekick, if Daphne Barak – a PR peddler very tellingly associated with not only ‘Feckless Fergie,’ but also Hillary Clinton, Ghislaine Maxwell and her own very own Jeffrey Epstein chum uncle, former Prime Minister of Israel Ehud Barak – is to be believed, are now supposedly seeking a “showdown” with King Charles and the new Prince of Wales over whether or not they should be able to remain at the royal residence they’ve occupied for some thirty years.


In an article, penned by Barak for this morning’s The Mail on Sunday and clearly penned with assistance from the Yorks themselves, yet more unnamed sources claimed:


“Friends of the Yorks say Andrew, who was forced to step back as a front-line Royal because of his association with paedophile millionaire Jeffrey Epstein, is ‘refusing to budge’ from Royal Lodge. They say he’s in low spirits and has become reclusive. One friend said: ‘He is so fragile. He’s refusing to see anybody. This has been his family home for the past 20 years. Is it really sensible to kick him out?’”


“‘He’s concerned that now the Coronation is over, the knives are out. He’s worried that the Royals might even turn off the utilities to get him out of there. But we’re dealing with human beings, not real estate.’”


“‘If Charles wants Andrew to play ball and help the family through these difficult times, aren’t there better ways of going about it?’”


“‘Why not do the decent thing, sit down and talk? If they need the house for William, perhaps Andrew should be told. Perhaps William should invite his uncle for tea and explain.’”


“‘Or why doesn’t Charles invite his brother for a meeting and ask him if he’d leave Royal Lodge to help his nephew and the future of the monarchy? And agree a schedule acceptable to both sides.’”


“‘Is a little decency so difficult? There are real people at the heart of all this. He’s just lost his mother. Who, straight after that, would want to be evicted by his brother?’”


At the end of this very clearly ‘Randy Andy’ and ‘Feckless Fergie’ placed puff piece, Donald Trump supporting Daphne Barak then proceeds to promote her latest book, Struggling for One America, and “pop culture scoops.” The article’s mere existence proves that the without-any-sense-of-sense Duke of York and Sarah, Duchess of York have yet still to understand the concept of “with friends like these who needs enemies.”


Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.


Pictured Top – Guffawing goon Prince Andrew and his grimacing grabber sidekick Sarah, Duchess of York; their current crib Royal Lodge, Windsor. How long will these dimwits be able to remain there?


This morning on Twitter, Matthew Steeples asked: “Should ‘Grand Old Duke of Broke’ Prince Andrew and his ‘needy and greedy’ live-in ex-wife Sarah, Duchess of York be turfed out of Royal Lodge, Windsor and should their utilities be turned off to aid the process?” By 11:30am on Sunday 14th May 2023, the majority of respondents favoured the answer: “Yes; send in the bailiffs.”
Grade II listed Royal Lodge, Windsor Great Park, Windsor, SL4 2JD has been home to Prince Andrew since he took a 75-year lease on it from the Crown Estate in August 2003. He paid around £1 million for it and had to agree to spend £7.5 million at September 2002 prices excluding VAT on the building’s renovation. In January 2022, the building was valued as being worth a sum of £30 million on the open market.
Royal Lodge entrance gates
The entrance gates to the house are suitably grand for the known to be beyond pompous second son of the late Queen Elizabeth II and the late Duke of Edinburgh. For the Coronation, ‘Fergie’ promised to offer coronation chicken sandwiches at the end of the drive to the public. No photographs of her doing such have emerged; proof yet again that this self-publicist is nothing but a self-serving and self-centred piece of rubbish.
Royal Lodge interior
A reception room in the royal residence. Regular guests here are said to include the coffin dodging skinflint Bernie Ecclestone – a diminutive dwarf awaiting a trial for a fraud estimated at £400 million later this year. Supposedly, not many others choose to visit the croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s former ‘bestie’ since his juggernauth wreck of an interview with Emily Maitlis for ‘Newsnight’ anymore. Should the public feel sorry for the non-sweating, Pizza Express loving sort? We say: “Certainly not.”
Frogmore Cottage received a £2.4 million ‘MeGain makeover.’ At the time, a predictably unnamed “royal source” told the ‘Daily Mail’ of the two orangeries added: “Natural light is important for the Sussexes as Meghan misses the LA sunshine.” A new kitchen at the property was said to have cost in excess of £100,000 whilst the predictably ‘woke’ wench formerly known as Meghan Markle also demanded all paints used must be from the vegan and chemical free £74 a tin Auro range. Somehow, however, one could not imagine pompous Prince Andrew and his live-in grifter ex-wife feeling suitable for their occupation considering how pretentious the pair of them are.
Guffawing Fergie and Randy
The rotten associations and poor decisions of the Duke of York and Sarah, Duchess of York are the reason that this reprehensible royal and his sidekick should be thrown out of a house that is also clearly far too large to be occupied by just two grifters and those that wait on their every want and need. It is time that the former home of the late Queen Mother be given to a family that might actually enjoy it and to a family that might actually use it for its true purpose – entertaining others for the benefit of the nation.
Duke of York Ghislaine Maxwell
It should NOT be forgotten that Ghislaine Maxwell was a regular visitor to the house and was not only just a ‘friend’ of ‘Fergie,’ but also allegedly a lover of not only Jeffrey Epstein but also the Duke of York supposedly also. The web of deceit and deviousness that has for too long invaded this 10-bedroomed, 30-room house must finally be banished to the past.
Mocked universally, this pair of bellends should finally be sent to social Siberia. King Charles III and his son clearly are on the right track and do not need this pair of toerags, and also the Duke and Duchess of Sussex in addition, causing yet further havoc for the rest of their family. Get them gone.
Fergie Venice Stroll wedding
Elsewhere yesterday, it was revealed Sarah, Duchess of York was in Venice, Italy “with at least three suitcases in tow” attending the wedding of the Canadian billionaire owner of Aston Martin Lawrence Stroll’s daughter Chloe to an Olmpian named Scotty James. In spite of her likely being made ‘homeless’ soon, it seems as if “life ain’t hard” for a woman who has still failed to answer the question: “Did you ever repay the loans and other benefits from the at-the-time-you-took-them criminal sex abuser Jeffrey Epstein?”
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. I’d hardly think Frogmore Cottage is making do after the Royal Lodge. More than enough space – and newly renovated – for his children and grandchildren to visit without having to rely on kipping down on the sofa.
    Andrew’s friends might feel aggrieved on his behalf but his current home is a) Crown property and b) needs serious renovations. He should be able to move out by year end.

  2. Andrew is fragile ? Andrew is a human being? Andrew is not budging from Royal Lodge. Andrew is binge watching television ….Andrew is reclusive….geez…but, he is a Knight of the Garter ..and he has private photos to prove it .
    He is making himself pathetic….he will feel much better if he moves to Frogmore Cottage…or the best western business suite.


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