Sunday, February 25, 2024

Shut-Up ‘Sherlock’ Sarah – Sarah, Duchess Of York’s Comparison Of Her Bonkbusters To Sherlock Holmes Is Beyond Bonkers

In comparing her tawdry bonkbuster books to Sherlock Holmes, Matthew Steeples suggests Sarah, Duchess of York to be beyond bonkers; elsewhere another billionaire chum of hers has been accused of financing a sex trafficking ring

Earlier this month we joined those highlighting the latest grifting activities of Sarah, Duchess of York. ‘Freeloader Fergie’ has now added fuel to the fire and ludicrously, in reference to her bag of bilge bonkbuster ‘writing’ for Mills & Boon, compared her ‘literary works’ to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s beyond brilliant Sherlock Holmes in terms of style.

 

Whilst Sir Arthur initially struggled to find a publisher, he was eventually accepted for publication of his first work featuring Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson, A Study in Scarlet, aged 27 in November 1886. He went on to have a career that deservedly brought him fame and fortune and remains loved by millions.

 

Sarah, Duchess of York, meanwhile, has lived off her royal name, associated with crooks, taken loans from paedophiles including Jeffrey Epstein (and presumably not repaid them) and now thinks herself a top-drawer author. Here, indeed, is a woman clearly having a laugh (and being deservedly laughed at) and that she declared her books to be a cross between “Sherlock Holmes and Peaky Blinders” is just further evidence of how delusional she truly is.

 

Elsewhere late last week, came further revelations that on top of her having taken loans and other benefits from the croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein, one of the dimwitted dunce formerly known as Sarah Ferguson’s “billionaire associates” has been accused of “bankrolling a sex trafficking ring” in a lawsuit in California.

 

Featured in the Daily Mail on 19th March, Daniel Bates revealed:

 

“Trammell Crow, 72, who Sarah Ferguson has reportedly struck up a friendship with, is alleged to have financed the enterprise which led to two women being abused.”

 

“The Texan property tycoon and environmental philanthropist, who is worth £6 billion ($7.3 billion, €6.8 billion or درهم27 billion), is accused of a string of lurid claims in the court papers filed in California.”

 

“The lawsuit was filed by two women, Julia Hubbard and Kayla Goedinghaus against Crow and his associates in a court in November. They claimed that the ring was run by a man called Richard Hubbard with the ‘with the essential financial assistance and influence’ of Crow.”

 

“Fergie and Crow are said to have bonded over their shared interest in environmental issues. Their friendship was first reported at the beginning of the month.”

 

“The lawsuit claims that Crow used ‘force, threats of force, fraud, or coercion to compel Hubbard and Goedinghaus to engage in commercial sex acts.’ The case was filed under laws governing racketeering and it claims that the defendants ‘conspired together’ to commit offences including human trafficking. The women claim that Crow forced the alleged victims to take drugs like Xanax ‘in order to force them to participate in sex acts.’”

 

“It is alleged that Crow was ‘key to the venture’s existence and long running success’ as he invested in it.”

 

Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.

 

This morning on Twitter, Matthew Steeples asked: “In comparing her tawdry bonkbuster books to Sherlock Holmes, has grifter Sarah, Duchess of York shown herself to be beyond bonkers?” By 11:30am on Saturday 25th March 2023, the majority of respondents had taken the view: “Yes; off her merry rocker.”
Garney Nicholls
Responding to the poll, Garney Nicholls was very direct in his views about Sarah, Duchess of York. He didn’t share his thoughts on her comparing herself to Sherlock Holmes, but he did state: “She was a tart when she was a teenager, mummy ran off with a polo player and daddy had it way in a plane I once read. Just ‘cos they got money, don’t mean they bad cop, bad lot.”
A Most Intriguing Lady
The latest drivel from Sarah, Duchess of York (written ‘with’ someone named Marguerite Kay) is due out on 30th March 2023. It is titled ‘A Most Intriguing Lady’ and is published by Mills & Boon. The grifter’s ‘novel’ is priced at £14.99 and she has been out doing the rounds comparing it to Sherlock Holmes and ‘Peaky Blinders.’ The loon is clearly having a laugh (or just, as most would actually rightly assume, off her merry-rocker).
Trammell Crow
Sleazy looking billionaire Trammell Crow has brought further shame on ‘Feckless Fergie’ and her non-sweating hubby Prince Andrew after being accused of being involved in sex trafficking. One is left asking: “What was it about this creepy looking creature that first attracted the former Sarah Ferguson to him?”

The Weird Words of “Greedy” and “Needy” Freeloader Wannabe Sherlock Holmes Sarah, Duchess of York… They Get Weirder By The Week…

Given the live-in ex-wife at Royal Lodge, Windsor of supposedly skint ‘Randy Andy’ – a non-sweating nuisance who got his long-suffering relatives to pay a supposed sum of circa £12 million to Virginia Roberts Giuffre, a woman he has previously claimed to have met – is in on a world tour to prattle on to anyone who pays to listen, perhaps she should be reminded of her own weird and even weirder warblings. They number:

 

Of sex, her and goats: “One of the worst headlines said 82% [of the population] would rather sleep with a goat than Fergie. It’s never left me.”

 

Of her writing novels and her style: “Sherlock Holmes meets Peaky Blinders.”

 

Of the royal family: “They tried to put the little redhead in a cage.”

 

Of her own family: “I do believe in family unity. I think forgiveness is key.”

 

Of the Duke of York: “A good man… In 1986, I married a very good man. Zip.”

 

Of whether she might remarry Prince Andrew: “Oh bless your heart, no. I think we’re great as we are.”

 

Of supporting her disgraced ex-husband financially: “I will always be there [for Prince Andrew].”

 

“When Andrew went through a hard time, I used to be able to throw it to ‘The Boss.’”

 

“Since he stepped back [from royal duties] he doesn’t actually take taxpayers’ money and I’m in a position where I can support him and the rest of the family through my work. And I’m really pleased and proud to do that.”

 

“All I will say is that for many years now – it started with Budgie the Little Helicopter – I’ve really pushed to look after my girls and to contribute to the York family life.”

 

Of where she and the Duke of York will end up living in the future: “Honestly, I operate from living in the present. You never get complacent and it makes for a better day because you never get disappointed, then. You look at life and you go, we can adapt, we can be flexible.”

 

Of whether she might remarry someone else: “I think I’ve got too much baggage. I look at today and if suddenly I find love again, well, that’s another bonus, isn’t it?”

 

Of her daughters Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie: “Exceptional… I love my girlies, I’m so proud of them. They are exceptional children… If mum’s OK, they’re OK.”

 

“My daughters come first in my life, they always have. Because I lost my mum so early, I’m subconsciously very present with them. When I brought them up, I always left my problems at the door. Your problem is not their problem – it’s not their fault. We laugh together a lot. We are just very close.”

 

Of her grandchildren: “I’m ‘Super Gran’… When my grandchildren see me, they immediately laugh because they know I’m going to be up to something, up to no good somewhere.”

 

“Every time I think about about co-parenting and co-grandparenting and about divorce, marriage and all these different things, I still come back to the principle that the sun will come up tomorrow, and be grateful, just get on with it.”

 

Of the late Queen Elizabeth II: “For me, she was more a mother than my own mother. Aren’t I the luckiest person alive to have had that great honour? When I was with her, I used to say: ‘I can’t believe it. People wait and put on their best dress to have an audience with you, and I’m wandering around the garden in wellies!’”

 

“For the whole nation, for the world. Steadfast, consistent, iconic. [She had an] extraordinary ability to put someone at ease. I still now think it was such an honour [to have known her].”

 

“During the last three years, her poor son [was] going through such a tumultuous time… And I think HM was very relieved I could help her with him, so we became even closer, then.”

 

“I’m so lucky. All my life, I was lucky enough to know ‘The Boss,’ HM. Like the nation and the world, she was always there. It was like having a hand at your back. It just made you always strive for being better and trying to be better, learning from her, whenever you were with her just taking everything she said as a memory. She was such an incredible legend for us all.”

 

Of the late Queen’s corgis: “They’re very good boys, they’re very gentle. I think they knew that they weren’t to jump up and be naughty. They used to sit and watch the racing with her. And when you give them a biscuit, they don’t snatch. They’re very special, they’re national treasures.”

 

“They really make me laugh and the follow me around. Sometimes I break a little ‘biccie’ – a digestive biscuit – in the same way the Queen broke it into little pieces, and give it to them and tell them to remember their boss.”

 

Of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex: “I have been judged all my life, and I have no judgment on the Sussexes.”

 

“It must be hard for Meghan and can I relate to her. I believe she is modern and fabulous. She was famous before. She is great. Why can’t Meghan be great? Why can’t she be celebrated? I have been in Meghan’s shoes, and I still am. There’s always a twist of negativity and it just gets so sad and tiring… I abhor bullying and I feel desperately sorry for the pain they must be going through.”

 

“I believe very strongly that I have absolutely no judgment on any other person’s life, and I look at how much she [Meghan] loves him [Harry] and loves the children and gives him a love that he’s never had before. That’s how I look at it… The most important thing is, Diana would be so very proud of Archie and Lili. She would have adored every moment of it.”


Of King Charles III: “It’s incredible what he’s done for the environment. He was a trailblazer and many years ago, everybody said: ‘What’s he talking about?’ But he’s right. I’m a great believer and supporter of him, as I am of the Queen Consort.”

 

Of herself and her life: “I have been in the gutter.”

 

“I’m a brilliant mother. The best mother.”

 

“I don’t believe that any single person has the right to judge another person. I’m not in a position myself to make any judgments.”

 

“I’m very steadfast and stoic… I won’t let anyone down. I’m very loyal.”

 

Being rather wishy-washy: “The most important thing is that the sun will come up tomorrow and the day will move on.”

 

Of food, family and dining: “As long as it is hot, wet and goes down the right way, it’s fine with me.”

 

“With every smell, I smell food. With every sight, I see food. I can almost hear food. I want to spade the whole lot through my mouth at Mach 2. Basta!”

 

“We all sit round the table and eat together. Andrew and I believe in total parent unity. We’re best friends.”

 

On the coronation of King Charles III: “Well I’ve decided the best thing about British around a coronation – although I’ve never been to one – I think we should, I should set up a tea room at the bottom of the drive with bunting and cakes.”

 

“Never presume, never assume. I don’t know. But I’ll be there at the end of the drive with a cup of tea if I’m not there.”

 

Of wanting to be a television star: “I would quite like to go on Dancing With The Stars. I would like somebody to teach me to tango. I do know the show and my children would be so proud of me.”

 

On Americans: “I divorced, went to America, wrote a book, went on Oprah and did 12 years as the longest running spokesperson of Weight Watchers. I looked to America to support me and to help me and I really can’t thank the American people enough for what they gave me and what they did for me.”

 

Of when she decided she wanted to bag a royal: “I met [Prince Andrew] when I was 12, and I said: ‘I’m going to marry him.’”

 

Of marriage, divorce and work: “I left my marriage knowing I’d have to work. I have.”

 

“I didn’t want a divorce, but had to because of circumstance.”

 

“I wish we’d never got divorced. He and I both wish we’d never divorced, but we did. I wish I could go back and be the bride again, but I can’t.”

 

Of her many, many mistakes: “I felt that I ostracised myself by my behaviour, by the past, by living with all the regrets of my mistakes, that I sort of wore a hair shirt and beat myself up most of the day thinking and regretting why did I make such a mistake. Why have I made so many mistakes?”

 

“You look at the devil in the face, which you do. Then you forgive, and you say: ‘OK, I’ve made almost a mistake that will never be forgotten,’ and forgive.”

 

“I think the obstacles are the way, as opposed to in the way. I feel very strongly that I completely and utterly own my very naïve self and made endless different wrong decisions, whatever they may be, but in the end, it’s got me to today as an author. I’m a person in my own right, I’m Sarah.”

 

“I was so out of control with desperation… I was looking for quick fixes in the places I wouldn’t normally look… I’ve been a huge overtrusting, idiotic, stupid woman that went to look for the perfect situation, and that’s all I can say really.”

 

“I’ve done the work to get to myself. I’ve done masses of mental therapy. I probably reached to the wrong places and the wrong people and made, as you call it, mistakes. I don’t call them mistakes. I call them enormous learning curves.”

 

Hello-Corgis
Desperate, as ever, for attention, there appears to be no opportunity that Sarah, Duchess of York will miss in her quest for constant publicity. Even the late Queen’s dogs have to be dragged out for a bit of personal profiteering courtesy of ‘Hello!’ magazine.
Duchess-Dishes-The-Dirrt
The decidedly dodgy duchess appeared in another article recently that was shared on social media. It was titled: “Duchess dishes the dirt!” and is indeed representative of how tawdry and tacky and tastleless this tittle-tattler truly is. Shame on Sarah, Duchess of York.
Omid-Scobie-NFT-Fergie
In January, Omid Scobie, the pugnacious pillock PR peddler for the Duchess of Sussex revealed that the ‘Duchess of Deviancy’ had moved into the world of NFTs and would be selling digital works “by established and emerging artists.” Is there any medium that will escape “the new world” of this tedious toerag?
Daily-Mirror-toe-sucking
On Thursday 20th August 1992, the ‘Daily Mirror’ shared what they called “the pictures they didn’t want you to see.” In them, a topless Duchess of York was shown having her toes sucked in the South of France by a Texan millionaire named John Bryan. Of the incident, the ‘Mirror’ later reported: “Royal writer Richard Kay claimed in the ‘Daily Mail’ that he received a message via pager from Princess Diana the night before the photos hit the newspaper stands. Diana’s message was simple: ‘The redhead’s in trouble.’”
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Maybe if she were to make judgements about other people she would be equipped to make better choices about who she hangs out with.

  2. Looks like she’s been let out of her box again.
    This woman is obviously delusional and has too much idle time on her hands. Perhaps if she did something useful with her life instead of living off the backs of others, she might be taken a bit more seriously, although I doubt it.
    I wish the royals had put this big redhead in a cage.

  3. Don’t know the truth of this BUT the books are allegedly ‘ghost-written’.

    No doubt her ex-husband may well be jumping on that bandwagon also.

    Birds of a feather do indeed stick together.

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