Saturday, February 24, 2024

More Front Than Frogmore… Will Prince Andrew Pen Memoirs To Pay For £1m Royal Lodge Paintjob

Matthew Steeples asks if rumours are true that Prince Andrew might be penning his memoirs to pay for a £1 million façade paintjob for his ritzy Royal Lodge residence

Impudence and effrontery are ‘qualities’ that the non-sweaty Duke of York are known for and now, illustrating he’s got more front than Pamela Anderson, Brighton, Harrods and Barbara Windsor combined, this rotten ratbag royal is supposedly asking for the astounding sum of £1 million ($1.2 million, €1.1 million or درهم4.5 million) to paint the front façade of Royal Lodge, Windsor. Goodness only knows what a Dulux job for the rest of said building would cost in addition.


Whilst rumours abound that the prince and his grifting ex-wife Sarah, Duchess of York might still yet be forced to leave the £30 million ($36.7 million, €34.1 million or درهم134.7 million) mansion and could end up in Frogmore Cottage instead after the Duke and Duchess of Sussex having conducted ‘#FROGXIT,’ it appears that Jeffrey Epstein’s former ‘bestie’ still doesn’t want to move yet.


Prince Andrew Melania Trump Jeffrey Epstein
If he were to pen a memoir, will Prince Andrew touch on his friendship and what benefits he got from associating with the since croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein?
Prince Harry Spare half price
As always “unnamed sources” are claiming that the Duke of York has been inspired in his idiotic idea for a memoir by the financial success that has resulted from his nephew, the Duke of Sussex, writing ‘Spare.’ He might do better to consider the negative kickback from not only the public that resulted, but also the rifts that have followed with other members of the royal family.
Daphne Barak
Is the “toady twaddler” Daphne Barak an appropriate person to write a book on behalf of the brother of King Charles III? Given she has been involved with the convicted nonce sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell for over 30 years and given she has been involved with the Clintons for a long time also, is this associate of the foolish and feckless Sarah, Duchess of York to be trusted with the secrets of the royal household?
Royal Lodge
Grade II listed Royal Lodge, Windsor Great Park, Windsor, SL4 2JD has been home to Prince Andrew since he took a 75-year lease on it from the Crown Estate in August 2003. He paid around £1 million for it and had to agree to spend £7.5 million at September 2002 prices excluding VAT on the building’s renovation. In January 2022, the building was valued as being worth a sum of £30 million on the open market.
Frogmore Cottage
Frogmore Cottage received a £2.4 million ‘MeGain makeover.’ At the time, a predictably unnamed “royal source” told the ‘Daily Mail’ of the two orangeries added: “Natural light is important for the Sussexes as Meghan misses the LA sunshine.” A new kitchen at the property was said to have cost in excess of £100,000 whilst the predictably ‘woke’ wench formerly known as Meghan Markle also demanded all paints used must be from the vegan and chemical free £74 a tin Auro range. Somehow, however, one could not imagine Prince Andrew and his live-in grifter ex-wife feeling suitable for their occupation considering how pretentious the pair of them are.

Instead of accepting that he really doesn’t need a Jeffry Wyatt designed, 30-room mansion in 98 acres at the age of 63 when his two children have long since quit the crib, Catherine Meyer-Funnell for the Express recently reported that “Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson [are] lobbying [the] King for more money through leaks.” She added that the Express royal correspondent Richard Palmer had stated: “There are ‘deals that can be done’ to make sure Andrew gets the support he needs.”


Turning to how the alleged ex-lover of Ghislaine Maxwell might be able to fund a continued residence at Royal Lodge, both The Sun on Sunday and Mail on Sunday covered allegations that the prince is “in talks with US authors to write a tell-all autobiography” this morning.


Citing the “success” of Prince Harry’s tittle-tattling tome Spare, the papers both termed Prince Andrew’s book to be Spare 2.0 in the making. They also referenced the likely ‘author’ to be Daphne Barak – a pugnacious PR peddler who recently conducted interviews for them with her chum of 30 years Ghislaine Maxwell and a woman who has also had a long association with Hillary Clinton.


Speaking to The Sun, “a source” – as usual unnamed – claimed:


“Andrew was the original spare and there’s plenty of material. Compared to Harry, he has a far greater depth of history to draw from.”


“Writing a book would give him the opportunity to fully explain his association with Jeffrey Epstein and the resulting fall-out. But it would also be a fascinating insight into the inner workings of the royals and their relationships. But mainly he wants to set the record straight. If he doesn’t change the narrative, no one else will.”


Given, after we asked: “In comparing her tawdry bonkbuster books to Sherlock Holmes, has grifter Sarah, Duchess of York shown herself to be beyond bonkers?” yesterday, 55.9% decided her to be “offer her merry rocker” and 40% argued her to “just £££ grabber,” the prospects of the dimwitted dunce Prince Andrew reaching the dizzy literary heights of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle seem equally grim. Instead, the Duke of York might do better to ask one of his few remaining chums, the awaiting a £400 million fraud trial dwarf Bernie Ecclestone, to bail him and ‘Freeloader Fergie’ out one more time.


Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.


This morning on Twitter, Matthew Steeples asked: “If he does pen a non-sweaty “tell-all” memoir, do you think the grifter Prince Andrew will also compare his book to the works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle as his live-in ex-wife has said of hers?” As of 11:30am on Sunday 26th March 2023, the clear majority of respondents favoured the option: “Yes; he’s arrogant enough.”
Sarah Duchess of York novel Sherlock Holmes
Yesterday’s poll, which asked: “In comparing her tawdry bonkbuster books to Sherlock Holmes, has grifter Sarah, Duchess of York shown herself to be beyond bonkers?” produced the result that 55.9% believed her to be “offer her merry rocker” whilst 40% argued her to “just £££ grabber.” Only 4.2% in total felt to the contrary.

Twitter reacts to our Prince Andrew memoir poll…

Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. My intel, no more accurate than anyone else’s, is that he got the cheap rent (£300/month for 30 bedrooms. Sigh.) because he paid for renovations. If he leaves before 2026 he gets the renovation money back, but will they then retroactively charge him market value rent? Would love to see the lease.
    Apparently there’s another major renovation due… £1 million for his memoirs ain’t going to cut it. Take Frogmore or Wood Farm or wherever and be hugely grateful for the rent deal and access to Royal security when you’re on Royal property.

    And btw be grateful if the population of York doesn’t get its way to have the York title taken away from you.


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