MOVERS & SHAKERS

Stick A Sock On

March 4, 2020

Matthew Steeples criticises ‘The Telegraph’ for suggesting men can wear loafers without socks According to this morning’s Telegraph, “2020 is the...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Moron of the Moment – Christabel Milbanke

February 29, 2020

Annoying pest Christabel Milbanke is confirmed as a fruitcake and someone best avoided Christabel Milbanke claims to be able to “amplify...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

A Pickled Apology

February 24, 2020

That Michael Barrymore is willing to apologise to Sir Richard Branson but not the family of the late Stuart Lubbock is telling

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Boobed by Judy

February 22, 2020

Bra flasher Judy Finnigan labelled “sexist” by her very own husband during a discussion about naked women in saunas Potbellied pisshead...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Justice by Email

February 17, 2020

Since she cannot be physically found, alleged madam and daughter of ‘Bouncing Bob’ Ghislaine Maxwell has now been served by email

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The Phil & Matt Show

February 16, 2020

Phillip Schofield filmed smoking shisha with his alleged ex-lover Matt McGreevy (and pictured in bed thereafter); another image shows the pair together...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

SchofieldLite

February 13, 2020

‘Politicalite’ suggest Phillip Schofield orchestrated his ‘mass coming out’ after a former ‘This Morning’ runner had gone to the press about a...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Mr Childish

February 10, 2020

As son of convicted criminal Sam Palmer is branded ‘Mr Obnoxious’ in the ‘Mail on Sunday,’ we suggest he’s actually ‘Mr Childish’...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Andy’s Antics Analysed

February 8, 2020

Jeremy Clarkson rightly suggests that Prince Andrew should do two things: Shut up and bugger off Just as alleged abuse victim...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

EXCLUSIVE – Oh Randy, Oh Randy Andy

January 31, 2020

‘The Times’ allows a most curious notice to appear on its ‘Register’ page; Could it have been cryptically penned by Ghislaine Maxwell...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Angry Anth’

January 24, 2020

Flake botherer Anthea Turner swings into action to resolve a row with her magic mushroom loving fiancé at Heathrow Airport Life...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The Megaphone Maniac

January 22, 2020

Lunatic from London caught shouting “stop reproducing!” through a megaphone in Oxford; Danny Shine previously got prosecuted for shouting about masturbation

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Hero of the Hour – Laurence Fox

January 19, 2020

Actor Laurence Fox has most unjustifiably been condemned for calling out the ‘MegExit’ saga as “boring” and nothing to do with racism

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The Parson with Nine Pussies

January 14, 2020

Matthew Steeples takes a look at the life of a vicar who gave services with his nine cats in tow, the Reverend...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The Wit of Woolf

January 10, 2020

‘The Steeple Times’ remembers the late, great Woolf Gander A businessman who travelled widely across across the globe, Woolf Gander was...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Hero of the Hour – Giles Coren

January 8, 2020

Giles Coren is to be saluted for refusing to put up with harassment from the supporters of the left-wing scumbag Owen Jones

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Heroes & Villains – The Best & The Worst People of 2019

January 1, 2020

‘The Steeple Times’ chooses the 25 best and 25 worst people of the last year and the 25 who’ll be missed and...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Christmas Card of the Year

December 25, 2019

Sir Benjamin Slade excels himself with an amusing Christmas card celebrating himself (maybe) finally finding an other half Sir Benjamin...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Moaning Moron Michael

December 20, 2019

Delusional deranged ‘entertainer’ Michael Barrymore yet again shamefully cracks an inappropriate joke about death Sadly, Michael Barrymore is alive, but it...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

It is NOT “It is what is it is’

December 19, 2019

The use of the ghastly phrase “it is what it is” has rightly been condemned On Tuesday, The Guardian published a...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The Duchess is a Dork

December 14, 2019

That the Duchess of York claims the Jeffrey Epstein scandal to be “nonsense” sums up how much of an out of touch...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Wally of the Week – Nathan Thursfield

December 3, 2019

Healthcare worker who wants “the Katie price look” Nathan Thursfield is proven to be nothing but an utter nutter A regular...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The Cheque Doesn’t Lie

November 30, 2019

The release of a photograph of a cheque from Prince Andrew to Monique Giannelloni provides further evidence of his sordid ways

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Lookout! It’s Lizzie…

November 26, 2019

Prince Andrew must be toast; when knicker flasher Lizzie Cundy leaps to your defence, you know your days must be numbered

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Hero of the Hour – Lorraine Kelly

November 23, 2019

Matthew Steeples lauds “mad as hell” Lorraine Kelly in spite of her speaking in “Gorbals gobbledygook”; here is a woman who has...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Poor Beatrice

November 21, 2019

In the downfall of The Duke of York, the nation seems to have forgotten Princess Beatrice’s impending state-funded marriage When Princess...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Where’s Mucky Maxwell?

November 19, 2019

‘The Steeple Times’ reveals news about the alleged madam Ghislaine Maxwell that is yet to reach the British press; this mucky woman...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Thanks Tamara!

November 15, 2019

Matthew Steeples thanks Tamara Ecclestone for giving him so much attention (at a time when her dear little daddy is trying to...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Guttered Anthea

November 12, 2019

Anthea Turner’s “berserk” convicted offender fiancé spotted “trawling roads” doing community service after biting a policeman This morning, The Sun shared...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Moron of the Moment – Vanessa Feltz

November 9, 2019

Tyre tractor like Vanessa Feltz yet again proves herself to be one of the most irritating people in Britain Voted one...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

BoJo’s Body Double

November 6, 2019

American lookalike of Boris Johnson emerges; it turns out he’s very rich and the beau of the socialite Denise Rich As...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Bonkers Bedfellows

October 30, 2019

If Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman is dating the car crash that is Lindsay Lohan, he must be bonkers; the truth is...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Do One Dawn

October 29, 2019

“Napkin slapper” Dawn Ward again proves herself to be a common degenerate in using the phrase “do one” Telling some to...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Carrie’s Curious Contacts

October 25, 2019

The Steeple Times reveals some of the curious people Boris Johnson’s squeeze Carrie Symonds previously associated with – a past that includes...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Crackpot Cliff Cutout

October 24, 2019

Cliff Richard shares his bizarre views about Brexit, losing friends, speaking to himself and liking being addressed by his title just as...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Lowbrow Lizzie

October 19, 2019

Rugby star Danny Cipriani to sue ageing desperado WAG Lizzie Cundy’s publishers over her tawdry claims about bedding him There’s lowbrow...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

A Trump Hole

October 9, 2019

In sharing images of herself digging a hole at the White House yesterday, Melania Trump gave rise to theories about what she...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Eating for Elephants

October 6, 2019

Matthew Steeples hosts a dinner to raise funds for the International Fund for Animal Welfare’s elephant conservation work at Granger & Co....

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Monster of the Moment – Unsexy Vegan

September 30, 2019

Californian freak who wants to be president and changed his name to ‘Sexy Vegan’ exposed as a dog rapist Hansel Marion...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Anth’ Swings Into Action

September 28, 2019

Will Anthea Turner’s chum Lizzie Cundy be joining her to swing into action with a Cadbury’s Flake at her forthcoming nuptials?

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Mopping Up

September 26, 2019

One of the world’s highest paid actresses ludicrously asks for an electric mop on her wedding registry; this mucky madam plainly wants...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Quotes of the Week – 21st September 2019

September 21, 2019

A selection of amusing and odd remarks from the media classes including ones from Benjamin Butterworth, Lady Colin Campbell, Gemma Collins, John...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Effing Hunniford

September 20, 2019

‘Inglorious’ Gloria Hunniford yet again proves herself to be anything but the ‘national treasure’ she so often claims to be There...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

It’s NOT Hilarious

September 19, 2019

As Michael Barrymore is branded “hilarious” and a “novelty” as he makes his TV comeback, we suggest there is no “comic impact”...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Me, Me, Me

September 14, 2019

Self-obsessed ‘MeGain’ refers to herself an astonishing 38 times during a speech to launch her overpriced fashion line The Duchess of...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Loudmouth Lizzie

September 10, 2019

Desperado Lizzie Cundy yet again proves she’ll do anything to get herself on the telly in calling the Duchess of Sussex “manipulative”

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Potty Lottie

September 3, 2019

Lowbrow lavatory frisker and all-round irrelevance Lottie Moss yet again makes a fool of herself by desperately selling fake news to ‘The...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Meg’s Murky Mess

September 2, 2019

Matthew Steeples suggests Thomas Markle is right to call out his daughter’s antics for what they are: Ridiculous ‘MeGain’ (AKA The...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Schofe Banned

Mucky Madam Maxwell Unsealed

Wally of the Week – Phillip Schofield

Randy Andy’s Last Stamp

Sorry Hopkins

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