MOVERS & SHAKERS

As noxious nitwit Lady Victoria Hervey sticks her oar in over Ukraine, fellow Epstein-Maxwell associate and feckless fruitcake Sarah, Duchess of York heads off to the USA to try and rake in more wonga; shame on these pointless prattling profiteers.

Could the Duchess of Sussex’s half-sister Samantha Markle prove to be her ultimate nemesis? ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan most definitely thinks so.

Matthew Steeples asks: “Given that both Jeffrey Epstein and Jean-Luc Brunel have been ‘suicided,’ will Ghislaine Maxwell now cough up the names of any of her co-conspirator sex abusers?”

Newly discovered photograph shows notorious party crasher and pretend owner of Harvey Nichols David Pun living it up large with Carrie Johnson at the Russian Embassy in London back in 2012.

As Prince Andrew’s notches on the bedpost non-counter Michael Wynne-Parker talks of their “wild times” bedding birds, we suggest the randy royal might do better to silence his chirping chums including ‘Lady Herpes’ also.

As ‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie claims Sadie Quinlan (AKA ‘Yankee Wally’) is “on a watch list” with the “good folk at South Wales Police and Scotland Yard” and the “Fixated Threat Assessment Centre” also, the popular YouTuber reports him to the police herself.

Party pest and piffle peddling pillock Lady Victoria Hervey vanishes from Twitter; the mouthy moron likes to criticise others, yet clearly can’t take criticism herself.

Matthew Steeples questions the murky motives of those questioning the authenticity of THAT 2001 photo of Prince Andrew, Virginia Roberts and Ghislaine Maxwell; it is time that the personal profiteer Lady Victoria Hervey was called out for the fake that she is and it is time to remind the public that it is Ghislaine Maxwell and her avaricious associates who’ve actually been exposed for faking photos.

As she faces sentencing for sex trafficking, morally bankrupt mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell turns to the words of morally superior Mark Twain; all they really have in common is mutual experience of financial bankruptcy.

In telling companies to give their workers time to meditate when they should be working, Prince Harry shows himself as nothing but a delusional drip.

As Prince Andrew gets support from the dregs of society in the form of disgraced news baron felon toff Lord Black and washed up wastrel daughter of a criminal twerp Lady Victoria Hervey, we suggest he’s truly scraping the barrel.

Will guffawing gadabout Prince Andrew’s antics in Tramp prove to be his downfall or will his old fellow golf and girl loving mucker Donald Trump come out to “wish him well”?

Dumber than dumb non-entity Lady Victoria Hervey morphs from ‘TwIt Girl’ to ‘InstaIdiot’ in a series of Instagram posts about her mucky madam mate Ghislaine Maxwell; she charmingly labels one victim she doesn’t even know a “complete whore” and another she claims to actually know a “drug addict slut and a f*ck up.”

Former federal prosecutor suggests convicted mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s chances of getting an appeal will have “major hurdles” and will “have to meet a very high standard.”

As a former Buckingham Palace employee reveals that “spoilt” Prince Andrew made her run up four flights of stairs to shut his curtains whilst he sat next to them, we suggest it’s now curtains for him.

As Prince Andrew loses yet more responsibilities, quits social media and plunges deeper into debt, we suggest he turns to one of his last remaining chums, the notoriously noxious skinflint Bernie Ecclestone.

Lady Victoria Hervey’s latest airing to share irrelevant claims about Ghislaine Maxwell simply show her lack of connection with the real story; this tedious twerp ought to now learn the art of silence.

The blithering buffoon that is Boris Johnson and the randy rotter that is Prince Andrew should do the decent thing… Disappear from public view forever and get a room together with their weird wack job wives.

Simpleton Sarah, Duchess of York “pauses” her unsurprisingly unpopular ‘Fergie & Friends’ YouTube channel as her increasingly friendless husband continues to face sexual assault allegations in New York.

That billionaire murderer Robert Durst effectively becomes an innocent man in death is utterly outrageous; that he has defeated justice is ludicrous and the key question now is: “Who gets his fortune?”

In spite of her victory over ‘The Mail on Sunday’ all the Duchess of Sussex will be able to do with her winnings is afford a trip to Poundland; £1 ‘MeGain’ better now also watch out for metaphorical banana skins.

Matthew Steeples explains what’s next for convicted mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell as she faces a second trial and sentencing.

‘The Steeple Times’ chooses our Heroes & Villains 2021; the 25 best and 25 worst people of the last year and the 25 who’ll be missed and the 25 who won’t.

Sanity reigns as Sir Cliff Richard announces “he would no longer be able to pose topless” and will thankfully keep his kit on instead.

Matthew Steeples reflects on shamed sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell’s conviction and slams the BBC and Sky News for their coverage of the verdict; he also calls on the Met Police to reopen their 1994 investigation into the deviant’s activities in London.

Matthew Steeples previews ‘Who Is Gatsby Randolph?’ and finds it not only refreshingly raucous, but also proof that anyone can achieve their dream.

Virginia Roberts Giuffre would be wrong to rely on the narcissistic, lying Duchess of Sussex in her case against Prince Andrew… A rerun of the ‘MeGain & Randy Show’ would benefit utterly nobody.

For once Dan Wootton got it right in condemning ‘Randy Andy’ and ‘Farting Fergie’ as “deluded… self-centred… gauche… disgraced public figures.”

Crowdfunder for documentary supporting alleged mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell fails to sign up a single supporter just as signs go up at her former home about filming and dog pee.

When you thought lowbrow loser Lindsay Lohan couldn’t go any lower, the ‘celebutard’ predictably delivers.

Paedophile and sex offender apologist Amanda Platell’s claims that the BBC “conned” her into an interview about the royals are beyond laughable.

Labour loudmouth Stella Creasy MP proves herself to be nothing but a petulant pain in the arse in moaning about not being able to breastfeed her brat in the House of Commons.

Is the era of “what Meghan wants, Meghan gets” well and truly over for the demanding and devious Duchess of Sussex?

Richard Madeley admits his career to have been “pretty pointless” yet claims being compared to Alan Partridge is “unfair.”

Author Kat Rosenfield’s article suggesting Ghislaine Maxwell won’t get a fair trial and is being unfairly treated is both contemptible and laughable at the same time.

Duchess of Sussex claims to be “too busy” to see the Queen at Christmas just as she’s advised to drop case against ‘Mail on Sunday’ after “forgetting” various email exchanges.

Maxed-out Duchess of Sussex provides proof that greed ain’t really that good and in telling “untruths” about THAT letter illustrates how warped her moral compass truly is.

As rumours circulate that Ghislaine Maxwell will claim to be insane to try to halt her trial, she rightly yet again gets denied bail; will she make it to the mental house?

Alleged shoplifter turned moneybags man Richard Madeley can certainly now afford to actually pay for Krug champagne after landing a £500k pay day with ITV.

Serial party goer Tracey Emin CBE, RA bizarrely claims she doesn’t like parties but gets it spot on when she states she is treated as a “narcissistic, deranged, screaming banshee.”

Author Kirby Sommers asks: “Who’s afraid of Ghislaine Maxwell?”

Sarah Ferguson – better known as the Duchess of Pork – makes a prat of herself trying to stick a pig up her nose, but still has failed to confirm whether she repaid the loan she took from the croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.

As it is revealed that Melania Trump was nicknamed “Rapunzel,” we again revisit the curious question of whether the former first lady was trafficked to America by Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell.

Dinner between Prince Andrew and Jeffrey Epstein is described as being like “Eyes Wide Shut with a twist” and “creepy” by journalist Katie Couric.

In claiming “Jeremy [Corbyn] is always right” the ultimate dumbo Diane Abbott MP yet again shows herself as an utter berk.

Alleged shoplifting tellybox twerp Richard Madeley is turned into a lookalike of inept comedy character broadcaster Alan Partridge.

‘Time’ magazine’s decision to make ‘Cringe’ and ‘Ginge’ (AKA the Duke and Duchess of Sussex) their poster children is quite beyond cringeworthy.

New site Cold Dahl makes a mockery of Prince Andrew’s nonsensical gibberish about not sweating; its first video clip is a ‘must watch’