MOVERS & SHAKERS

Do One Dawn

October 29, 2019

“Napkin slapper” Dawn Ward again proves herself to be a common degenerate in using the phrase “do one” Telling some to...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Carrie’s Curious Contacts

October 25, 2019

The Steeple Times reveals some of the curious people Boris Johnson’s squeeze Carrie Symonds previously associated with – a past that includes...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Crackpot Cliff Cutout

October 24, 2019

Cliff Richard shares his bizarre views about Brexit, losing friends, speaking to himself and liking being addressed by his title just as...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Lowbrow Lizzie

October 19, 2019

Rugby star Danny Cipriani to sue ageing desperado WAG Lizzie Cundy’s publishers over her tawdry claims about bedding him There’s lowbrow...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

A Trump Hole

October 9, 2019

In sharing images of herself digging a hole at the White House yesterday, Melania Trump gave rise to theories about what she...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Eating for Elephants

October 6, 2019

Matthew Steeples hosts a dinner to raise funds for the International Fund for Animal Welfare’s elephant conservation work at Granger & Co....

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Monster of the Moment – Unsexy Vegan

September 30, 2019

Californian freak who wants to be president and changed his name to ‘Sexy Vegan’ exposed as a dog rapist Hansel Marion...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Anth’ Swings Into Action

September 28, 2019

Will Anthea Turner’s chum Lizzie Cundy be joining her to swing into action with a Cadbury’s Flake at her forthcoming nuptials?

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Mopping Up

September 26, 2019

One of the world’s highest paid actresses ludicrously asks for an electric mop on her wedding registry; this mucky madam plainly wants...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Quotes of the Week – 21st September 2019

September 21, 2019

A selection of amusing and odd remarks from the media classes including ones from Benjamin Butterworth, Lady Colin Campbell, Gemma Collins, John...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Effing Hunniford

September 20, 2019

‘Inglorious’ Gloria Hunniford yet again proves herself to be anything but the ‘national treasure’ she so often claims to be There...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

It’s NOT Hilarious

September 19, 2019

As Michael Barrymore is branded “hilarious” and a “novelty” as he makes his TV comeback, we suggest there is no “comic impact”...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Me, Me, Me

September 14, 2019

Self-obsessed ‘MeGain’ refers to herself an astonishing 38 times during a speech to launch her overpriced fashion line The Duchess of...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Loudmouth Lizzie

September 10, 2019

Desperado Lizzie Cundy yet again proves she’ll do anything to get herself on the telly in calling the Duchess of Sussex “manipulative”

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Potty Lottie

September 3, 2019

Lowbrow lavatory frisker and all-round irrelevance Lottie Moss yet again makes a fool of herself by desperately selling fake news to ‘The...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Meg’s Murky Mess

September 2, 2019

Matthew Steeples suggests Thomas Markle is right to call out his daughter’s antics for what they are: Ridiculous ‘MeGain’ (AKA The...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Wally of the Week – Ben Fogle

August 30, 2019

Ben Fogle yet again shows himself to be utterly off his merry rocker in blabbering on about ‘hopepunk’ and comparing himself to...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Dawn Boobs (Again)

August 27, 2019

Creosoted creature Dawn Ward snapped in fetish gear after encouraging her poor child to have a boob job Dimwitted Dawn Ward...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The List That Many Would Rather Be Missed

August 21, 2019

‘The Steeple Times’ obtains the Epstein-Maxwell contact book; it makes for very interesting reading That Jeffrey Epstein knew just about everyone...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Pigeon Bernie

August 19, 2019

Bernie Ecclestone finally finds himself some ‘friends’; Prince Charles talks to plants, Bernie Ecclestone talks to pigeons Most people consider city...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Anth’s August Antics

August 18, 2019

That three newspapers chose to run a story about ‘f**k, I used to be famous’ Anthea Turner finding a toyboy is proof...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

With Friends Like These…

August 14, 2019

Ghislaine Maxwell’s relationships with sexual deviants were not limited to just Jeffrey Epstein; she was previously linked to former MP Harvey ‘Whacko’...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

With Friends Like These…

August 14, 2019

That Prince Andrew decided to share his birthday with the diminutive skinflint Bernie Ecclestone shows the new low he has reached

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Amazing Profanity

August 9, 2019

John Newton of ‘Amazing Grace’ fame was the world’s most accomplished swearer In a most fascinating letter to The Times yesterday,...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Name & Shame – The Garden Grabber

August 7, 2019

Fulham window box stealer is made famous on Twitter A pesky woman who made error of taking a window box from...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Borwick Binned

August 4, 2019

Kensington Conservatives bin ivory loving Lady Borwick in favour of local socialite and Brexiteer ‘Flicka’ Buchan Lady ‘Call Me Victoria’ Borwick...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Moron of the Moment – Ambar Zohra

July 25, 2019

Pavement pest Ambar Zohra is a young lady who needs a bar of soap in her mouth and her scooter confiscated

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Name & Shame – Soly Zadeh

June 21, 2019

Soly Zadeh, an artist who disgracefully failed to honour his commitments to an animal conservation charity named and shamed Soly Zadeh,...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Don’t You Know Who I Am?

June 8, 2019

Woman dressed in a set of curtains makes a prat of herself at Bibendum in South Kensington; Paris Hilton saunters in later...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Siddiqi Out-Sherlocked

June 1, 2019

Twitter troll and all-round oddity Tariq Siddiqi loses £5 million case against Sherlock Holmes Limited and others Late last month a...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Basement Journalism

May 29, 2019

That Spencer Matthews was described on Sky News as a “royal relative” is just yet another example of shoddy journalism We...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

True Crime Stories: Baroness de Stempel (and family)

May 27, 2019

Our new series examining historic crime stories of the rich and famous begins with the case of the unsolved murder of an...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Victoria’s Escort

May 25, 2019

Wannabe politician (again) Lady Borwick shares a snap of herself with a onetime male escort to “mature ladies” Benjamin Duncan

MOVERS & SHAKERS

America’s Black Hole

May 16, 2019

The pardoning of Lord Black by President Trump sums up the morally bankrupt hole that is now America The pardoning of...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Wally of the Week – Sharmadean Reid

May 11, 2019

‘Beauty entrepreneur’ Sharmadean Reid proves herself to be a bit of a berk; she is another fine example of the “we love...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The Carpetbagging Copycat

May 9, 2019

The Duchess of Sussex gets mocked on social media after “stealing” James Stunt’s ‘iconic dressing gown look’ to introduce her newly arrived...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Don’t be a mug, vote Toby Jug

May 6, 2019

That the late Lord Toby Jug’s approach to politics make more sense than we’ve currently got says a lot about where we...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The Overdue Duchess

April 30, 2019

‘Murky Mucky’ mucks up yet again; is there anything the Duchess of Sussex is capable of getting right? With rumours about...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Tubby Toff and Prattish Posh-Boy Unite

April 27, 2019

That a ‘Made in Chelsea’ twerp named ‘Toff’ has been spotted with a convicted criminal and ex-aide to Nigel Farage is nothing...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

A Virile Bentley

April 23, 2019

Bentley S1 converted into “the world’s poshest pick-up” to be sold at auction; it was created for a “sperm obsessed” Aussie Earl

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Munching Mosley spotted Breaking News

April 5, 2019

Businessman and harsher press regulation supporter Max Mosley spotted reading ‘Breaking News’ in South Kensington On Monday, Max Mosley was...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Barring Bra

March 30, 2019

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Outing Pun

March 26, 2019

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The Antics of ‘Anth’

March 7, 2019

That Anthea Turner continues to behave as if she’s a teenage hottie is quite beyond preposterous Divorcee Anthea Turner – or ‘F**k I used to...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Tarty Alexa

February 17, 2019

The Daily Mail’s reporting of Alexa Chung’s latest ‘launch’ was utterly cringeworthy; why is she considered to be newsworthy? The Daily Mail just cannot help...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

The Modern Day Marie Antoinette

February 13, 2019

Matthew Steeples suggests that is wrong that the Duchess of Sussex is being treated as a victim; she chose her path and it is...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Happily Poor

February 11, 2019

“Lotto lout” Michael Carroll’s reaction to becoming utterly broke will surprise Howard Hughes once said: “Money can’t buy happiness” and then someone else later added:...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Manic Meghan

February 5, 2019

The ‘modern day Mrs Simpson,’ the Duchess of Sussex’s, behaviour is becoming increasingly erratic; she needs to learn to control herself or she will...

MOVERS & SHAKERS

Mixed Up McGee

Moron of the Moment – Olivia Utley

Heroine of the Hour – Lorraine Kelly

Wally of the Week – Vanessa Branson

It’s Just Awful Being Alexa

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