Sunday, November 29, 2020

No. 23 - Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)Hailing from Canada and Cameroon respectively, Sam Malin and Irène Major can best be described as “a curious couple”. Whilst Madagascar based Malin claims to have made his fortune in oil, gas and minerals, Major was one half of a singing duo named MAJOR that appeared on X Factor and was unceremoniously rejected by Simon Cowell as his “idea of hell” in 2014. Having paid £600,000 for a former headmaster’s residence in Thurrock, Essex circa 2007, Malin and Major pumped around £1 million into adding such features as a hair salon to it. The couple appeared on Channel 4’s Million Pound Properties in April 2015 and despite a price of just £950,000 for the “quirky” property, it was shown as an illustration of a house not worth the amount spent on it. As of 2009, the couple were also reported to own a 13th century ruined castle in Scotland (that came with “the Scottish feudal title of Lord and Baron of Hailes and Lady Hailes”), a £136,000 house in Cameroon, a £410,000 property in British Columbia and a £340,000 property in Madagascar. Whilst Sam Malin, who is also president of Burke’s Peerage and collects classic cars, attempted to show modesty by telling Growth Business: “We also have a Vauxhall Carlton [for] when we want to lower our profile a bit”, his overtly confident wife appeared in the Daily Mail and on ITV’s This Morning in 2014 to share her views on skincare products. She controversially yet casually remarked: “When my skin is lighter, I just feel prettier… You grow up knowing that the lighter ladies are the prettier ones. It’s just a fact”. Sam Malin and Irène Major added Ingress Abbey – in the middle of a Crest Nicholson development described as “Estuary England, home of the Ford Escort Cabriolet, the glottal stop and now the mega housing estate” – in Greenhithe, Kent to their “collection” circa 2012 and plainly won’t stop until they’ve achieved global domination.

 

 

The Roll Call - CHARACTERS

< Categories
Luke Durbin – Went missing in Ipswich, Suffolk in May 2006 aged 19 – Grocery store worker Luke Durbin went missing aged 19 in Ipswich, Suffolk in 2006. He has never been seen again and no trace of him found.

1

Luke Durbin

Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’) – The Politmore Arms, Yarde Down, South Molton, Devon, EX36 3HA – Alongside a cat named ‘Frederick Albert Hitler’ as barman, landlord of the “maddest pub in Britain” Steve Cotten is certainly eccentric.

2

Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

Mrs Filthy Piece of Toerag – Angry pensioner constituent of Boris Johnson – This purple coated pensioner told Sky News’ Sophy Ridge that she considers Prime Minister Boris Johnson “a filthy piece of toerag” in Uxbridge on 6th October 2019.

3

Mrs Filthy Piece of Toerag

Angela Millington (1981 – 2014) – Murdered homeless woman – The skeletal remains of murdered homeless woman Angela Millington were found on Foulness Island in Essex in 2014 complete with a gaffer tape mask. Nobody has been convicted of her murder.

4

Angela Millington (1981 – 2014)

The Cheery Street Sweeper – Knightsbridge’s cheeriest street sweeper is a joy to behold. He is quite the contrast to the Royal Borough of K&C’s incompetent, avaricious councillors.

5

The Cheery Street Sweeper

Katherine Knight – This “sweet, matronly looking Australian woman” killed her partner John Price, skinned him, boiled his head in a pot and served up his body parts to his children with baked potatoes and gravy in 2000.

6

Katherine Knight

2017 – The Sinners and The Saints – The Steeple Times chooses the 25 best and 25 worst people of 2017; Brenda from Bristol and the Mary Berry are crowned our winners

7

Brenda from Bristol

8

The Cross Word Couple (AKA ‘The Crossword Couple’)

The Pret Prayer – Pret A Manger, 15 Old Brompton Road, South Kensington, London, SW7 3HZ

9

The Pret Prayer

The Pret Sleeper – Pret A Manger, 15 Old Brompton Road, South Kensington, London, SW7 3HZ

10

The Pret Sleeper

Prince John Zylinski (AKA ‘Prince Twinkle Toes’)

11

Prince John Zylinski

The Pret Spitter

12

The Pret Spitter

Fly-fisherwoman Marina Gibson

13

Marina Gibson

Margaret Wooliscroft

14

Margaret Wooliscroft

Angelo Vizcaino

15

Angelo Vizcaino

Mr Penny Farthing

16

Mr Penny Farthing

Adolfo Orsi, Jr.

17

Adolfo Orsi, Jr.

Helen Brach (AKA “The Candy Lady”, 1911 – 1977, body never found)

18

Helen Brach (AKA “The Candy Lady”, 1911 – 1977, body never found)

Mikel Ruffinelli

19

Mikel Ruffinelli

Ziyanda Palesa Tutu

20

Ziyanda Palesa Tutu

Kensington Claus

21

Kensington Claus

The Knightsbridge rose seller

22

The Knightsbridge rose seller

Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

23

Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

Paul and Selena Bailey

24

Paul and Selena Bailey

John Bly

25

John Bly

Joyce Cohen

26

Joyce Cohen (formerly Joyce McDillon, née Joyce Lemay)

Malavath Poorna

27

Malavath Poorna

Linda Sandler

28

Linda Sandler

Pablo Salcedo

29

Pablo Salcedo

Pedro López

30

Pedro López (AKA “The Monster of the Andes”)

june and leon bernicoff

31

June and Leon Bernicoff

Leah Chase

32

Leah Chase (AKA “The Queen of Creole Cuisine”)

33

Dominic and Stephanie Parker (AKA “The Posh Couple”)

34

Sarah Meakin

35

Julia Bradbury

36

Raine Spencer; Raine, Countess Spencer (AKA “Acid Raine”)

37

Hannah Campbell (AKA “The Bionic Woman”)

38

Candida Lycett Green (1942 – 2014; nicknamed “Wibz”)

39

The musical tramp

40

Doris Thompson MBE OBE (1903 – 2004) and Geoffrey Thompson (1936 – 2004)

41

Charity Charity

42

Kimi Räikkönen

43

Elisabetta and Francesca Grillo

44

Kester Thomas (1975 – 2013)

45

Gavin Rankin

46

Marina Oswald Porter (born Marina Nikolayevna Prusakova, Russian: Марина Николаевна Прусакова)

47

Elena Salvoni (1920 – 2016)

48

Sultan Kösen

49

Boaty Boatwright (also known as Boaty Boatwright Baker)

50

Cedric Robinson MBE

51

Oliver Newton

Dawn Ward

52

Don who's Donna at night

53

Captain Pugwash (AKA ‘Captain’ Michael M. Maricic)

54

Peter Grace OBE (1938 – 2013)

55

Jim Bowen (born Peter Williams)

56

Derek Bell MBE

57

Pamela Jennings (better known as “Soho Pam”, 1964 - 2013)

58

£50 grifter

59

Parrot Man

60

Jocelyn Wildenstein (née Périsset and also known as “Jocelynnys Dayannnys da Silva Bezerra”)

61

John Gaze (1947 - 2011)

62

Charlie Richardson (1934 – 2012)

63

Count Robin de la Lanne-Mirrlees (1925 – 2012)

64

Christian Gerhartsreiter (main alias Clark Rockefeller)

65

The Rt. Hon. Baroness Shackleton of Belgravia LVO (Fiona Shackleton)

66

Sir Peter O'Sullevan CBE (1918 – 2015)

67

Nancy Wake AC GM (1912 – 2011)

68

Claus Von Bülow

Alexander Fiske-Harrison

69

Alexander Fiske-Harrison

70

Lord Lucan (also known as Richard John Bingham, 7th Earl of Lucan)

71

Umberto Scomparin


8 COMMENTS

  1. They buy awful houses, spend a fortune on them and then wonder why they don’t sell. The evidence m’lud:
    1. A castle that is a ruin. Bought to get a crappy title.
    2. A former school headmaster’s house with no garden in the middle of a tacky housing estate. They added a hair salon and a naff bar and wonder why nobody wants it.
    3. A mansion that ended up engulfed by industrial sprawl and now a vile housing estate.

    Off to The Tower with ’em.

  2. We met Irene at her Daughters birthday party and she was lots of fun, inviting all the parents onto the children’s bouncy castle. What a character.

  3. Wow seems like a few of you have jealousy issues! Who wouldnt enjoy the luxury of their own bar and hair salon, your clearly bitter that you would never be able to afford a home like that! They have beautiful homes, i recently visited their current residence Ingress Abbey it was lovely and Sam Malin was very welcoming such a nice man. You know the old saying if you havnt got anything nice to say dont say nothing at all!!

  4. Well it’s quiet obvious the woman has no self-esteem. To make the comment, “Women feel better when their skin is lighter is preposterous. Just ask all the pale skin women who visit the tanning salons..?

  5. Irene and Sam are two of the nicest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. Despite being worth millions they treated me like a friend. They’re extremely generous and loving people.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Most Popular

Moron of the Moment – Gordon Ramsay

That Gordon Ramsay thinks it acceptable to start selling burgers at £80 a pop at a time of economic meltdown confirms him as a cretin.

Heroine of the Hour – Micheline Stephen

Ninety-year-old daily martini drinker Micheline Stephen of Cupar, Scotland is to be saluted for grabbing a robber and calling him “a wee sh*te.”

Get Out Ghislaine

As Donald Trump looks set to pardon Michael Flynn, will he also somehow help Ghislaine Maxwell get out of jail also?

Spying a Watch

1950s Cold War espionage device disguised as a watch to be auctioned for a surprisingly low sum; someone could end up spying a bargain and something akin to what Jack Ruby even once owned.

Nasty Nat’s Naughty Notes

‘Nasty Nat’ Natalie Elphicke MP – wife of convicted ex-MP turned sex offender Charlie Elphicke – rightly called out for pestering the judiciary with naughty notes.

The World’s Worst McMansion – It’s So Bad, It’s Good

New Jersey ‘McMansion’ complete with Flintstone-esque pebbled bathrooms and gaudy grottos goes on sale for £1.65 million; it’s so bad, it’s good.

Is Covid Racist?

Channel 4’s decision to show a documentary provocatively titled: ‘Is Covid Racist’ tonight is neither clever nor appropriate argues Matthew Steeples.

The Best Gastrowagon By Far

Land Rover converted into a ‘gastrowagon’ for television chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s first television series heads to auction.

Word of the Week – Autolatry

Susie Dent’s choice of ‘autolatry’ as her ‘word of the day’ was most appropriate; it sums up both Boris Johnson and Ghislaine Maxwell perfectly.

Ban The Bear Slayer – 10,000 Signatures on Petition Against Larysa Switlyk

As our petition to ban bear slaying barbarian Larysa Switlyk from Instagram soars past 10,000 signatures, it is time the social media...

Anth’ Swings Back To The Bog

Anthea Turner’s decision to talk about how she doesn’t like seeing bleach in a bathroom confirms her desperation for any kind of publicity; shouldn’t she just bog off?

A Pintless Policy

Matthew Steeples slams ‘Bosie The Clown’s’ pub destroying lockdown; 7 out of 10 pubs are likely to close as a result and the nation will be left pintless.

Steeply Priced Roof Space Slashed

Steeply-pitched, unused mansard roof space in Hampshire House, 150 Central Park South, New York heads to a slashed no reserve auction after failing to sell for £30.3 million.

Hero of the Hour – Marcus Rashford MBE

As the public quite rightly rubbish a disgraceful ‘Mail on Sunday’ diatribe against the campaigning footballer Marcus Rashford, he responds with dignity and launches a book club.

Randy’s Anniversary

EXCLUSIVE – On the first anniversary of ‘Randy Andy’ Prince Andrew’s juggernaut wreck BBC interview about Jeffrey Epstein, authors Nigel Cawthorne and Kirby Sommers share their thoughts with ‘The Steeple Times’ reports Matthew Steeples.

Windowless in South Ken

Windowless property in Stanhope Gardens, South Kensington, SW7 goes to auction with a guide price of just £20,000; there is, of course, a catch.

Weather Now

London
overcast clouds
8.6 ° C
9.4 °
7.8 °
87 %
3.1kmh
90 %
Sun
10 °
Mon
9 °
Tue
10 °
Wed
7 °
Thu
8 °