Monday, October 25, 2021

Prince John Zylinski

Prince John Zylinski (AKA ‘Prince Twinkle Toes’)A cross between Donald Trump and Liberace in terms of his liking for all things gold in interiors, Ealing based Prince John Zylinski is an eccentric property tycoon with a taste for duels and ballet dancing. An independent candidate to be Mayor of London in 2016, Zylinski challenged Nigel Farage to a duel in April 2015 for insulting Poles and stated: “I would like us to meet in Hyde Park one morning with our swords and resolve this matter in a way that an 18th century Polish aristocrat and English gentleman would traditionally do”. Described by The Sunday Times’ Julia Llewellyn Smith as “jovial and slightly scruffy”, Zylinski modestly claims to be “one of the wealthiest Poles in Britain”, of aristocratic lineage and a descendant of “Catherine the Great of Russia… twenty Roman Catholic Cardinals, twelve Popes and six Saints in Heaven”.

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    The Roll Call - CHARACTERS

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    Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’) – The Politmore Arms, Yarde Down, South Molton, Devon, EX36 3HA – Alongside a cat named ‘Frederick Albert Hitler’ as barman, landlord of the “maddest pub in Britain” Steve Cotten is certainly eccentric.

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    Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

    Mrs Filthy Piece of Toerag – Angry pensioner constituent of Boris Johnson – This purple coated pensioner told Sky News’ Sophy Ridge that she considers Prime Minister Boris Johnson “a filthy piece of toerag” in Uxbridge on 6th October 2019.

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    Mrs Filthy Piece of Toerag

    Angela Millington (1981 – 2014) – Murdered homeless woman – The skeletal remains of murdered homeless woman Angela Millington were found on Foulness Island in Essex in 2014 complete with a gaffer tape mask. Nobody has been convicted of her murder.

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    Angela Millington (1981 – 2014)

    The Cheery Street Sweeper – Knightsbridge’s cheeriest street sweeper is a joy to behold. He is quite the contrast to the Royal Borough of K&C’s incompetent, avaricious councillors.

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    The Cheery Street Sweeper

    Katherine Knight – This “sweet, matronly looking Australian woman” killed her partner John Price, skinned him, boiled his head in a pot and served up his body parts to his children with baked potatoes and gravy in 2000.

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    Katherine Knight

    2017 – The Sinners and The Saints – The Steeple Times chooses the 25 best and 25 worst people of 2017; Brenda from Bristol and the Mary Berry are crowned our winners

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    Brenda from Bristol

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    The Cross Word Couple (AKA ‘The Crossword Couple’)

    The Pret Prayer – Pret A Manger, 15 Old Brompton Road, South Kensington, London, SW7 3HZ

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    The Pret Prayer

    The Pret Sleeper – Pret A Manger, 15 Old Brompton Road, South Kensington, London, SW7 3HZ

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    The Pret Sleeper

    Prince John Zylinski (AKA ‘Prince Twinkle Toes’)

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    Prince John Zylinski

    The Pret Spitter

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    The Pret Spitter

    Fly-fisherwoman Marina Gibson

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    Marina Gibson

    Margaret Wooliscroft

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    Margaret Wooliscroft

    Angelo Vizcaino

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    Angelo Vizcaino

    Mr Penny Farthing

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    Mr Penny Farthing

    Adolfo Orsi, Jr.

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    Adolfo Orsi, Jr.

    Helen Brach (AKA “The Candy Lady”, 1911 – 1977, body never found)

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    Helen Brach (AKA “The Candy Lady”, 1911 – 1977, body never found)

    Mikel Ruffinelli

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    Mikel Ruffinelli

    Ziyanda Palesa Tutu

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    Ziyanda Palesa Tutu

    Kensington Claus

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    Kensington Claus

    The Knightsbridge rose seller

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    The Knightsbridge rose seller

    Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

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    Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

    Paul and Selena Bailey

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    Paul and Selena Bailey

    John Bly

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    John Bly

    Joyce Cohen

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    Joyce Cohen (formerly Joyce McDillon, née Joyce Lemay)

    Malavath Poorna

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    Malavath Poorna

    Linda Sandler

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    Linda Sandler

    Pablo Salcedo

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    Pablo Salcedo

    Pedro López

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    Pedro López (AKA “The Monster of the Andes”)

    june and leon bernicoff

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    June and Leon Bernicoff

    Leah Chase

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    Leah Chase (AKA “The Queen of Creole Cuisine”)

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    Dominic and Stephanie Parker (AKA “The Posh Couple”)

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    Sarah Meakin

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    Julia Bradbury

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    Raine Spencer; Raine, Countess Spencer (AKA “Acid Raine”)

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    Hannah Campbell (AKA “The Bionic Woman”)

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    Candida Lycett Green (1942 – 2014; nicknamed “Wibz”)

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    The musical tramp

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    Doris Thompson MBE OBE (1903 – 2004) and Geoffrey Thompson (1936 – 2004)

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    Charity Charity

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    Kimi Räikkönen

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    Elisabetta and Francesca Grillo

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    Kester Thomas (1975 – 2013)

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    Gavin Rankin

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    Marina Oswald Porter (born Marina Nikolayevna Prusakova, Russian: Марина Николаевна Прусакова)

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    Elena Salvoni (1920 – 2016)

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    Sultan Kösen

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    Boaty Boatwright (also known as Boaty Boatwright Baker)

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    Cedric Robinson MBE

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    Oliver Newton

    Dawn Ward

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    Don who's Donna at night

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    Captain Pugwash (AKA ‘Captain’ Michael M. Maricic)

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    Peter Grace OBE (1938 – 2013)

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    Jim Bowen (born Peter Williams)

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    Derek Bell MBE

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    Pamela Jennings (better known as “Soho Pam”, 1964 - 2013)

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    £50 grifter

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    Parrot Man

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    Jocelyn Wildenstein (née Périsset and also known as “Jocelynnys Dayannnys da Silva Bezerra”)

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    John Gaze (1947 - 2011)

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    Charlie Richardson (1934 – 2012)

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    Count Robin de la Lanne-Mirrlees (1925 – 2012)

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    Christian Gerhartsreiter (main alias Clark Rockefeller)

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    The Rt. Hon. Baroness Shackleton of Belgravia LVO (Fiona Shackleton)

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    Sir Peter O'Sullevan CBE (1918 – 2015)

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    Nancy Wake AC GM (1912 – 2011)

    67

    Claus Von Bülow

    Alexander Fiske-Harrison

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    Alexander Fiske-Harrison

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    Lord Lucan (also known as Richard John Bingham, 7th Earl of Lucan)

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    Umberto Scomparin

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    14 COMMENTS

    1. If he dislikes Nigel Farage, I’d support him but he’d be better off just joining Zac Goldsmith’s campaign instead of splitting the vote. We do not want the terrorist apologist Khan to win after all.

    2. Ah, the idle rich, another senile old fart, with far too much money.
      Always complaining about being discriminated against in the uk, but funny how they never want to live in their own country. He probably knows nobody there would tolerate him.
      Mayor of London, give me a break.

    3. I agree with Betina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Prince Zylinski sounds like he’d make a great mayor for London!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And he’s brilliant at ballet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He should go on Strictly too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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