Saturday, July 31, 2021

The Cheery Street Sweeper

Never without a decent word to say, Knightsbridge’s cheeriest street sweeper is an asset to the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea. Unlike the incompetent, avaricious councillors representing the area, this diligent worker never moans and he never complains. Come sun, rain, wind or snow, here is someone who takes pride in his work and here is someone who is a joy to encounter. He deserves an honour and should be commended for such.


The Roll Call - CHARACTERS

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Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’) – The Politmore Arms, Yarde Down, South Molton, Devon, EX36 3HA – Alongside a cat named ‘Frederick Albert Hitler’ as barman, landlord of the “maddest pub in Britain” Steve Cotten is certainly eccentric.

1

Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

Mrs Filthy Piece of Toerag – Angry pensioner constituent of Boris Johnson – This purple coated pensioner told Sky News’ Sophy Ridge that she considers Prime Minister Boris Johnson “a filthy piece of toerag” in Uxbridge on 6th October 2019.

2

Mrs Filthy Piece of Toerag

Angela Millington (1981 – 2014) – Murdered homeless woman – The skeletal remains of murdered homeless woman Angela Millington were found on Foulness Island in Essex in 2014 complete with a gaffer tape mask. Nobody has been convicted of her murder.

3

Angela Millington (1981 – 2014)

The Cheery Street Sweeper – Knightsbridge’s cheeriest street sweeper is a joy to behold. He is quite the contrast to the Royal Borough of K&C’s incompetent, avaricious councillors.

4

The Cheery Street Sweeper

Katherine Knight – This “sweet, matronly looking Australian woman” killed her partner John Price, skinned him, boiled his head in a pot and served up his body parts to his children with baked potatoes and gravy in 2000.

5

Katherine Knight

2017 – The Sinners and The Saints – The Steeple Times chooses the 25 best and 25 worst people of 2017; Brenda from Bristol and the Mary Berry are crowned our winners

6

Brenda from Bristol

7

The Cross Word Couple (AKA ‘The Crossword Couple’)

The Pret Prayer – Pret A Manger, 15 Old Brompton Road, South Kensington, London, SW7 3HZ

8

The Pret Prayer

The Pret Sleeper – Pret A Manger, 15 Old Brompton Road, South Kensington, London, SW7 3HZ

9

The Pret Sleeper

Prince John Zylinski (AKA ‘Prince Twinkle Toes’)

10

Prince John Zylinski

The Pret Spitter

11

The Pret Spitter

Fly-fisherwoman Marina Gibson

12

Marina Gibson

Margaret Wooliscroft

13

Margaret Wooliscroft

Angelo Vizcaino

14

Angelo Vizcaino

Mr Penny Farthing

15

Mr Penny Farthing

Adolfo Orsi, Jr.

16

Adolfo Orsi, Jr.

Helen Brach (AKA “The Candy Lady”, 1911 – 1977, body never found)

17

Helen Brach (AKA “The Candy Lady”, 1911 – 1977, body never found)

Mikel Ruffinelli

18

Mikel Ruffinelli

Ziyanda Palesa Tutu

19

Ziyanda Palesa Tutu

Kensington Claus

20

Kensington Claus

The Knightsbridge rose seller

21

The Knightsbridge rose seller

Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

22

Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

Paul and Selena Bailey

23

Paul and Selena Bailey

John Bly

24

John Bly

Joyce Cohen

25

Joyce Cohen (formerly Joyce McDillon, née Joyce Lemay)

Malavath Poorna

26

Malavath Poorna

Linda Sandler

27

Linda Sandler

Pablo Salcedo

28

Pablo Salcedo

Pedro López

29

Pedro López (AKA “The Monster of the Andes”)

june and leon bernicoff

30

June and Leon Bernicoff

Leah Chase

31

Leah Chase (AKA “The Queen of Creole Cuisine”)

32

Dominic and Stephanie Parker (AKA “The Posh Couple”)

33

Sarah Meakin

34

Julia Bradbury

35

Raine Spencer; Raine, Countess Spencer (AKA “Acid Raine”)

36

Hannah Campbell (AKA “The Bionic Woman”)

37

Candida Lycett Green (1942 – 2014; nicknamed “Wibz”)

38

The musical tramp

39

Doris Thompson MBE OBE (1903 – 2004) and Geoffrey Thompson (1936 – 2004)

40

Charity Charity

41

Kimi Räikkönen

42

Elisabetta and Francesca Grillo

43

Kester Thomas (1975 – 2013)

44

Gavin Rankin

45

Marina Oswald Porter (born Marina Nikolayevna Prusakova, Russian: Марина Николаевна Прусакова)

46

Elena Salvoni (1920 – 2016)

47

Sultan Kösen

48

Boaty Boatwright (also known as Boaty Boatwright Baker)

49

Cedric Robinson MBE

50

Oliver Newton

Dawn Ward

51

Don who's Donna at night

52

Captain Pugwash (AKA ‘Captain’ Michael M. Maricic)

53

Peter Grace OBE (1938 – 2013)

54

Jim Bowen (born Peter Williams)

55

Derek Bell MBE

56

Pamela Jennings (better known as “Soho Pam”, 1964 - 2013)

57

£50 grifter

58

Parrot Man

59

Jocelyn Wildenstein (née Périsset and also known as “Jocelynnys Dayannnys da Silva Bezerra”)

60

John Gaze (1947 - 2011)

61

Charlie Richardson (1934 – 2012)

62

Count Robin de la Lanne-Mirrlees (1925 – 2012)

63

Christian Gerhartsreiter (main alias Clark Rockefeller)

64

The Rt. Hon. Baroness Shackleton of Belgravia LVO (Fiona Shackleton)

65

Sir Peter O'Sullevan CBE (1918 – 2015)

66

Nancy Wake AC GM (1912 – 2011)

67

Claus Von Bülow

Alexander Fiske-Harrison

68

Alexander Fiske-Harrison

69

Lord Lucan (also known as Richard John Bingham, 7th Earl of Lucan)

70

Umberto Scomparin


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3 COMMENTS

  1. Here here! Roadsweepers, drain clearers, dustbin collectors and more are vital services too often taken for granted, and too often without thanks. These skilled workforces turn out come snow, rain or shine and perform said duties with expertise and commitment. And if one goes above and beyond, as with this particular street sweeper, that should never go unnoticed. I live in rural Berkshire and once a week, very early in the morning, walk my Springer Spaniel in a beautiful riverside park where I meet a team of cleaners who ‘sweep’ the park for litter including picking up endless fag ends cast aside by thankless visitors. They do this with amazing commitment so when the park gets busy from 9.30am onwards it looks every inch the beautiful spot it is. And every week, to do my little bit, I also pick up some litter which gives me the option to hand it over and thank the team. And it’s obvious from the look on their faces how much they appreciate this tiny bit of effort on my part. Thanks chaps and chapesses!

  2. These poor people have to do the disgusting job of clearing up after the trashy people who infest the area around Harrods. Matthew is right They are always cheerful despite working in all weathers.
    Harrods pay a vast amount to C. Gov in business rates. Some if it should be diverted to pay for more street cleaners. Unfair this small team should carry the burden of the slobbish visitors.

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