12.1 C
London
Sunday, September 27, 2020

The Pret Sleeper

Spotted early in the mornings in Pret A Manager in South Kensington, the Pret Sleeper wears loafers and an entirely black outfit. He usually purchases nothing and sits and sleeps. Occasionally he takes out a notebook and biro but only once has he been heard to speak; he choose to ring his bank manager about a transfer of the sum of £50,000. A sleeping millionaire?

 

The Pret Sleeper – Pret A Manger, 15 Old Brompton Road, South Kensington, London, SW7 3HZ

1 COMMENT

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Most Popular

Drip & Draining Michael Jackson

IV drip and fluid bag that was “in the arms” of Michael Jackson on his deathbed sells at auction for an astounding sum.

Rotten Reeking Rolf Returns

As Rolf Harris is spotted pounding the pavements in soiled clothing, the public must be reminded that this paedo pest is still nothing but a mucky monster.

Bombshell Bill

“Bombshell revelation” about Bill Clinton dining with Ghislaine Maxwell after she was first accused is a signal he’s likely headed under the bus.

Stand Up Against Snitch O’Flock

Matthew Steeples condemns the government’s ludicrous new 10pm bar, pub and restaurant curfew and slams the snitch culture of the next likely lockdown.

A Highway Ponzi House

Montauk beach house built for Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff resurfaces for sale for double what U.S. Marshalls got for it in 2009; its price seems crazy given it could be washed away by erosion.

A Socially Distanced Showcase

An invitation from businesswoman Heather Bird Tchenguiz to a socially distanced ‘by appointment’ exhibition of the works of William Cookson in Knightsbridge this September.

Ban the InstaKiller

Wolf slaying ‘InstaKiller’ Larysa Switlyk disgracefully remains on Instagram in spite of campaign to remove her going viral on Change.org

The Collapse of The Clown

Despite all of Dominic Cummings’ efforts Boris Johnson is morphing into the most miserable Prime Minister of modern times; how much longer will the blubbering buffoon ‘Bosie The Clown’ last?

Escaping the Dick

That an escaped prisoner couldn’t get himself rearrested in spite of willingly handing himself into the Met Police seven times is ludicrous; Cressida Dick should take responsibility and resign

Coming up for Ayr

‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the top picks for today’s Ayr Gold Cup Handicap and opts for a tidy priced 28/1 option.

Neighbours from Hell

As Priti Patel is slammed by her neighbours as a ‘snitch,’ the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are voted “the famous couple Brits would least like to live next door to” along with Boris Johnson and Kerry Katona.

The Distraction of Christian B

As Christian Brueckner’s lawyer highlights that German police have found no link to ‘disappearance’ of Madeleine McCann, we suggest distraction technique is ‘in play.’

Mother Maxwell

Matthew Steeples suggests Jeffrey Epstein treated Ghislaine Maxwell like a “mother figure.”

Phillip Schofield – What a Plonker!

All-round plonker Phillip Schofield’s wine range condemned as “only fit for the bin” and “no more palatable than fizzy Ribena;” it looks like his “sh*tty offering” might go the same way as that sold by Sir Cliff Richard.

Is Now a Good Time?

As Britain likely moves into further lockdowns, drug dealers are changing the way they operate and communicate; they now bizarrely demand customers ask: “Is now a good time?”

Five of the Worst – Undesirable Homes Currently For Sale

‘The Steeple Times’ selects five undesirable homes currently for sale that many would say would remain best avoided; they’ve all been in the news and they’re all connected to infamous names.

Weather Now

London
overcast clouds
12.1 ° C
13 °
11.1 °
66 %
3.1kmh
90 %
Sun
12 °
Mon
18 °
Tue
18 °
Wed
17 °
Thu
15 °