Wednesday, October 20, 2021

The Pret Spitter

The Pret SpitterAlways in a red ski jacket and always with a trolley and umbrella, The Pret Spitter is a most unpleasant vagrant. A definite loner and spotted on the streets of Chelsea and South Kensington, this Eastern European or perhaps Russian man loathes computers and has been known to spit at Apple Mac laptops in Pret South Kensington. In past years, he probably was spotted gobbing at Johnny Rotten.

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    The Roll Call - CHARACTERS

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    Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’) – The Politmore Arms, Yarde Down, South Molton, Devon, EX36 3HA – Alongside a cat named ‘Frederick Albert Hitler’ as barman, landlord of the “maddest pub in Britain” Steve Cotten is certainly eccentric.

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    Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

    Mrs Filthy Piece of Toerag – Angry pensioner constituent of Boris Johnson – This purple coated pensioner told Sky News’ Sophy Ridge that she considers Prime Minister Boris Johnson “a filthy piece of toerag” in Uxbridge on 6th October 2019.

    2

    Mrs Filthy Piece of Toerag

    Angela Millington (1981 – 2014) – Murdered homeless woman – The skeletal remains of murdered homeless woman Angela Millington were found on Foulness Island in Essex in 2014 complete with a gaffer tape mask. Nobody has been convicted of her murder.

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    Angela Millington (1981 – 2014)

    The Cheery Street Sweeper – Knightsbridge’s cheeriest street sweeper is a joy to behold. He is quite the contrast to the Royal Borough of K&C’s incompetent, avaricious councillors.

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    The Cheery Street Sweeper

    Katherine Knight – This “sweet, matronly looking Australian woman” killed her partner John Price, skinned him, boiled his head in a pot and served up his body parts to his children with baked potatoes and gravy in 2000.

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    Katherine Knight

    2017 – The Sinners and The Saints – The Steeple Times chooses the 25 best and 25 worst people of 2017; Brenda from Bristol and the Mary Berry are crowned our winners

    6

    Brenda from Bristol

    7

    The Cross Word Couple (AKA ‘The Crossword Couple’)

    The Pret Prayer – Pret A Manger, 15 Old Brompton Road, South Kensington, London, SW7 3HZ

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    The Pret Prayer

    The Pret Sleeper – Pret A Manger, 15 Old Brompton Road, South Kensington, London, SW7 3HZ

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    The Pret Sleeper

    Prince John Zylinski (AKA ‘Prince Twinkle Toes’)

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    Prince John Zylinski

    The Pret Spitter

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    The Pret Spitter

    Fly-fisherwoman Marina Gibson

    12

    Marina Gibson

    Margaret Wooliscroft

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    Margaret Wooliscroft

    Angelo Vizcaino

    14

    Angelo Vizcaino

    Mr Penny Farthing

    15

    Mr Penny Farthing

    Adolfo Orsi, Jr.

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    Adolfo Orsi, Jr.

    Helen Brach (AKA “The Candy Lady”, 1911 – 1977, body never found)

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    Helen Brach (AKA “The Candy Lady”, 1911 – 1977, body never found)

    Mikel Ruffinelli

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    Mikel Ruffinelli

    Ziyanda Palesa Tutu

    19

    Ziyanda Palesa Tutu

    Kensington Claus

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    Kensington Claus

    The Knightsbridge rose seller

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    The Knightsbridge rose seller

    Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

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    Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

    Paul and Selena Bailey

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    Paul and Selena Bailey

    John Bly

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    John Bly

    Joyce Cohen

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    Joyce Cohen (formerly Joyce McDillon, née Joyce Lemay)

    Malavath Poorna

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    Malavath Poorna

    Linda Sandler

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    Linda Sandler

    Pablo Salcedo

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    Pablo Salcedo

    Pedro López

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    Pedro López (AKA “The Monster of the Andes”)

    june and leon bernicoff

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    June and Leon Bernicoff

    Leah Chase

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    Leah Chase (AKA “The Queen of Creole Cuisine”)

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    Dominic and Stephanie Parker (AKA “The Posh Couple”)

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    Sarah Meakin

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    Julia Bradbury

    35

    Raine Spencer; Raine, Countess Spencer (AKA “Acid Raine”)

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    Hannah Campbell (AKA “The Bionic Woman”)

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    Candida Lycett Green (1942 – 2014; nicknamed “Wibz”)

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    The musical tramp

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    Doris Thompson MBE OBE (1903 – 2004) and Geoffrey Thompson (1936 – 2004)

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    Charity Charity

    41

    Kimi Räikkönen

    42

    Elisabetta and Francesca Grillo

    43

    Kester Thomas (1975 – 2013)

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    Gavin Rankin

    45

    Marina Oswald Porter (born Marina Nikolayevna Prusakova, Russian: Марина Николаевна Прусакова)

    46

    Elena Salvoni (1920 – 2016)

    47

    Sultan Kösen

    48

    Boaty Boatwright (also known as Boaty Boatwright Baker)

    49

    Cedric Robinson MBE

    50

    Oliver Newton

    Dawn Ward

    51

    Don who's Donna at night

    52

    Captain Pugwash (AKA ‘Captain’ Michael M. Maricic)

    53

    Peter Grace OBE (1938 – 2013)

    54

    Jim Bowen (born Peter Williams)

    55

    Derek Bell MBE

    56

    Pamela Jennings (better known as “Soho Pam”, 1964 - 2013)

    57

    £50 grifter

    58

    Parrot Man

    59

    Jocelyn Wildenstein (née Périsset and also known as “Jocelynnys Dayannnys da Silva Bezerra”)

    60

    John Gaze (1947 - 2011)

    61

    Charlie Richardson (1934 – 2012)

    62

    Count Robin de la Lanne-Mirrlees (1925 – 2012)

    63

    Christian Gerhartsreiter (main alias Clark Rockefeller)

    64

    The Rt. Hon. Baroness Shackleton of Belgravia LVO (Fiona Shackleton)

    65

    Sir Peter O'Sullevan CBE (1918 – 2015)

    66

    Nancy Wake AC GM (1912 – 2011)

    67

    Claus Von Bülow

    Alexander Fiske-Harrison

    68

    Alexander Fiske-Harrison

    69

    Lord Lucan (also known as Richard John Bingham, 7th Earl of Lucan)

    70

    Umberto Scomparin

    The Steeple Times
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    8 COMMENTS

    1. I’ve seen him on my way to work waiting outside Pret South Ken myself. He stands by the door waiting for it to open and when I’ve seen him inside he sits glaring at customers angrily. He is a most intimidating man and most certainly, as you point out, unpleasant.

    2. I threw him out of the cafe I work in only a week ago! He got quite aggressive but I could not understand what he was saying. He scared the customers.

    3. To the tune of ‘Fings ain’t wot they used to be

      There used to be class doing the town wearing an Eton Rambler’s tie
      Their like used to be rude to anyone who looked them in the eye

      All’s now changed at Knightsbridge, Sloane and Kensington
      We now have a nasty new ill bred eccentric moron

    4. A disgusting specimen. I have seen him in Pret South Kensington and was appalled at his conduct. They should have removed him but failed to do anything when I complained.

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