Saturday, January 23, 2021

No. 8 - The Cross Word Couple (AKA ‘The Crossword Couple’)

Though never a cross word was uttered between this duo during their visits to the sadly now defunct Chelsea restaurant La Brasserie, their dislike of what they perceived as “loud music” (and other forms of noise) made them retreat to a quiet corner. Known to occasionally ‘share’ a cocktail – though firm believers in “one between two will do” – ‘The Cross Word (or Crossword) Couple’ enjoy puzzles but intensely dislike pointless chit-chat. Cross them at your peril.

 

The Roll Call - CHARACTERS

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Luke Durbin – Went missing in Ipswich, Suffolk in May 2006 aged 19 – Grocery store worker Luke Durbin went missing aged 19 in Ipswich, Suffolk in 2006. He has never been seen again and no trace of him found.

1

Luke Durbin

Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’) – The Politmore Arms, Yarde Down, South Molton, Devon, EX36 3HA – Alongside a cat named ‘Frederick Albert Hitler’ as barman, landlord of the “maddest pub in Britain” Steve Cotten is certainly eccentric.

2

Steve Cotten (AKA ‘Britain’s Grumpiest Landlord’)

Mrs Filthy Piece of Toerag – Angry pensioner constituent of Boris Johnson – This purple coated pensioner told Sky News’ Sophy Ridge that she considers Prime Minister Boris Johnson “a filthy piece of toerag” in Uxbridge on 6th October 2019.

3

Mrs Filthy Piece of Toerag

Angela Millington (1981 – 2014) – Murdered homeless woman – The skeletal remains of murdered homeless woman Angela Millington were found on Foulness Island in Essex in 2014 complete with a gaffer tape mask. Nobody has been convicted of her murder.

4

Angela Millington (1981 – 2014)

The Cheery Street Sweeper – Knightsbridge’s cheeriest street sweeper is a joy to behold. He is quite the contrast to the Royal Borough of K&C’s incompetent, avaricious councillors.

5

The Cheery Street Sweeper

Katherine Knight – This “sweet, matronly looking Australian woman” killed her partner John Price, skinned him, boiled his head in a pot and served up his body parts to his children with baked potatoes and gravy in 2000.

6

Katherine Knight

2017 – The Sinners and The Saints – The Steeple Times chooses the 25 best and 25 worst people of 2017; Brenda from Bristol and the Mary Berry are crowned our winners

7

Brenda from Bristol

8

The Cross Word Couple (AKA ‘The Crossword Couple’)

The Pret Prayer – Pret A Manger, 15 Old Brompton Road, South Kensington, London, SW7 3HZ

9

The Pret Prayer

The Pret Sleeper – Pret A Manger, 15 Old Brompton Road, South Kensington, London, SW7 3HZ

10

The Pret Sleeper

Prince John Zylinski (AKA ‘Prince Twinkle Toes’)

11

Prince John Zylinski

The Pret Spitter

12

The Pret Spitter

Fly-fisherwoman Marina Gibson

13

Marina Gibson

Margaret Wooliscroft

14

Margaret Wooliscroft

Angelo Vizcaino

15

Angelo Vizcaino

Mr Penny Farthing

16

Mr Penny Farthing

Adolfo Orsi, Jr.

17

Adolfo Orsi, Jr.

Helen Brach (AKA “The Candy Lady”, 1911 – 1977, body never found)

18

Helen Brach (AKA “The Candy Lady”, 1911 – 1977, body never found)

Mikel Ruffinelli

19

Mikel Ruffinelli

Ziyanda Palesa Tutu

20

Ziyanda Palesa Tutu

Kensington Claus

21

Kensington Claus

The Knightsbridge rose seller

22

The Knightsbridge rose seller

Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

23

Sam Malin and Irène Major (AKA “Lord and Lady Hailes”)

Paul and Selena Bailey

24

Paul and Selena Bailey

John Bly

25

John Bly

Joyce Cohen

26

Joyce Cohen (formerly Joyce McDillon, née Joyce Lemay)

Malavath Poorna

27

Malavath Poorna

Linda Sandler

28

Linda Sandler

Pablo Salcedo

29

Pablo Salcedo

Pedro López

30

Pedro López (AKA “The Monster of the Andes”)

june and leon bernicoff

31

June and Leon Bernicoff

Leah Chase

32

Leah Chase (AKA “The Queen of Creole Cuisine”)

33

Dominic and Stephanie Parker (AKA “The Posh Couple”)

34

Sarah Meakin

35

Julia Bradbury

36

Raine Spencer; Raine, Countess Spencer (AKA “Acid Raine”)

37

Hannah Campbell (AKA “The Bionic Woman”)

38

Candida Lycett Green (1942 – 2014; nicknamed “Wibz”)

39

The musical tramp

40

Doris Thompson MBE OBE (1903 – 2004) and Geoffrey Thompson (1936 – 2004)

41

Charity Charity

42

Kimi Räikkönen

43

Elisabetta and Francesca Grillo

44

Kester Thomas (1975 – 2013)

45

Gavin Rankin

46

Marina Oswald Porter (born Marina Nikolayevna Prusakova, Russian: Марина Николаевна Прусакова)

47

Elena Salvoni (1920 – 2016)

48

Sultan Kösen

49

Boaty Boatwright (also known as Boaty Boatwright Baker)

50

Cedric Robinson MBE

51

Oliver Newton

Dawn Ward

52

Don who's Donna at night

53

Captain Pugwash (AKA ‘Captain’ Michael M. Maricic)

54

Peter Grace OBE (1938 – 2013)

55

Jim Bowen (born Peter Williams)

56

Derek Bell MBE

57

Pamela Jennings (better known as “Soho Pam”, 1964 - 2013)

58

£50 grifter

59

Parrot Man

60

Jocelyn Wildenstein (née Périsset and also known as “Jocelynnys Dayannnys da Silva Bezerra”)

61

John Gaze (1947 - 2011)

62

Charlie Richardson (1934 – 2012)

63

Count Robin de la Lanne-Mirrlees (1925 – 2012)

64

Christian Gerhartsreiter (main alias Clark Rockefeller)

65

The Rt. Hon. Baroness Shackleton of Belgravia LVO (Fiona Shackleton)

66

Sir Peter O'Sullevan CBE (1918 – 2015)

67

Nancy Wake AC GM (1912 – 2011)

68

Claus Von Bülow

Alexander Fiske-Harrison

69

Alexander Fiske-Harrison

70

Lord Lucan (also known as Richard John Bingham, 7th Earl of Lucan)

71

Umberto Scomparin


The Steeple Times
We research and background check our articles. If you believe we have made and error in some detail please get in touch, we seek always to write the truth and stand against a press owned by a self selected few. Please help us, we will accept all your likes, subscriptions and anonymous suport. The Editor and his team at the Steeple Times.
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4 COMMENTS

  1. Good God! Them! I recall them moaning when anything more modern than Cliff Richard was played. A true pair of killjoys and about the only thing about La Brasserie I don’t miss.

  2. The 90 year old cafe owner Arthur Woodham was anything but a fan of these two. He cringed whenever they came in on a Saturday and he thought them proper miseries.

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