Thursday, April 25, 2024

Buffoon Boris & Rotten Randy… Get A Room!

The blithering buffoon that is Boris Johnson and the randy rotter that is Prince Andrew should do the decent thing… Disappear from public view forever and get a room together with their weird wack job wives

Boris Johnson can’t help telling porkie pies and nor can the Duke of York. Equally, the pugnacious pair of them have a problem with keeping their members in their pants and with each of them in frankly boiling hot water right now, it is time for them to both simply go.


Whilst Johnson clearly told falsehoods about going to a bring-your-own-bottle (BYOB) gathering that was clearly a “party” and not a “work event,” as he cretinously claimed in the House of Commons on Wednesday, Prince Andrew’s problems before a New York judge increased significantly also yesterday. This occurred simply because of the same traits shared by these two twerps – sheer arrogance and a complete lack of moral compasses.


Neither ‘Randy Andy’ nor ‘Buffoon Boris’ needed to end up where they have, but neither mouse-not-men have the nous to see when common sense needs to prevail and equally both are guided by rotten, ridiculous women.


In ‘Farting Fergie’ – a woman described in The Sunday Telegraph last weekend by an ‘insider’ as a spendaholic for whom “it doesn’t matter how much money she has, it just seems to slip through her fingers” – the queen’s supposed “favourite son” has a noose round his neck.


Condemned elsewhere by the usually anything but spot on the mark acerbic pen of Amanda Plattell in the Daily Mail on Saturday as a “cling-on… life sentence” just for her presence, whilst the toesucking lover that is the former Sarah Ferguson is a well-meaning yet totally incapable simpleton, Johnson’s appendage is actually a far more dangerous deviant.


Equal to the ‘Duchess of Dim’ in her love for indulging in £840 a roll Lulu Lytle wallpaper and £27,000 takeaways from Lady Bamford’s especially ritzy Daylesford Organic, ‘Costly Carrie’ is someone whose poisonous past stands before our very eyes. Known for chucking red wine at her now husband during temper tantrums, employed for a time by a charity with close links to the incarcerated sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell and the ex-lover of a man with links to the far-right Traditional Britain Group and exposed by the BBC for a Russian fake news scandal, the former Miss Symonds is a pernicious public relations disaster in the making.


It is now time for these four freaks to take the only option left to them… Disappear from public view forever and get a room. They say “birds of a feather flock together” and in Andy, Boris, Carrie and Fergie, there’s most definitely one of those.


Boris Johnson Prince Andrew Duke of York Carrie Symonds Carrie Johnson
Boris Johnson and Prince Andrew (pictured together along with Prince Harry, Prince Michael of Kent, Carrie Symonds and the Duchess of Sussex) are birds of a feather. They both like younger women and they both behave like buffoons.
Lorraine Kelly
Yesterday, television presenter and ‘Queen of Gorbals Gobbledygook’ Lorraine Kelly OBE amusingly tweeted: “Well Boris Johnson will be most grateful to Prince Andrew for taking the heat off.” In due course, their roles will certainly reverse.
Prince Andrew Bentley ski chalet
Last April, in spite of likely facing having to pay a settlement of what could amount to as much as £10 million to Virginia Giuffre (née Roberts), the Duke of York treated himself to a new motor, a £220,000 Bentley. How does someone with no tangible or credible source income afford such and how did he has live-in ex-wife afford to buy an £18 million ski chalet also?
Carrie Symonds Lady Bamford Daylesford Organic Lulu Lytle wallpaper
Equally and displaying the same traits, one has to ask if it is right that Boris and Carrie Johnson were able indulge in £27,000 of takeaways from Daylesford Organic and wallpaper at £840 a roll as part of their £200,000 makeover of their grace and favour flat in Downing Street. Ordinary people are rightly outraged at their Marie Antoinette-like antics of another couple clearly living beyond their means.
Amanda Platell
For once in her sorry existence, Amanada Platell got it right in suggesting Prince Andrew is already living a “life sentence” in being stuck with his dimwitted dope of an ex-wife last Saturday in her ‘Daily Mail’ column: “Some legal experts say the very least Prince Andrew can expect is social exile, being stripped of his royal title and forced to sever all his military connections. Surely still living with his cling-on ex-wife Fergie is a life sentence for any man?”
Bernie Ecclestone Prince Andrew
Prince Andrew has been reduced to having the likes of anti-democracy supporting Bernie Ecclestone – a man who once said he’d take a bullet for President Putin and lauded Adolf Hitler for “get[ting] things done” – round for dinner at his crib (presumably Sloppy Giuseppe’s from Pizza Express, Woking were served). That he keeps such company speaks volumes as to his clear decline in popularity in more dignified social circles in the wake of the death of his one-time ‘bestie,’ croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
Carrie Symonds Henry Newman Ghislaine Maxwell
Carrie Johnson describes Henry Newman as “one of my four favourite people” whilst her hubby Boris labelled him “one of my three musketeers.” That this couple rely on people suspected as a leaker is one thing, but that this former PR peddler also worked for Oceana, a charity with clear links to the incarcerated mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell is quite something else.
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. Unfortunately, these entitled types spring up like mushrooms after a day’s rain…There will be plenty more to fill their boots, our Public School system has an endless supply….God help the long-suffering British public…Having said that, its entertaining and there’s never a dull moment, as MS is on the ball with all this…Keep at it, Matthew…

  2. Great article Matthew, and as mentioned, there are plenty more of these self entitled types waiting in the wings. Why the general public as a whole worship these people is beyond me. I see on the news this morning, Randy Andy has been stripped of his military honours, and will continue not to undertake any public duties, also he has to defend his case as a private citizen. What a joke, if he had been a private citizen, he would have been banged up months ago, and what private citizen would have the lawyers he has access to? This begs the question now, where is Andy getting his dosh from, and who is funding his, and her indoors, lavish life style?
    Philip must be turning in his grave.

  3. Andy’s mortgage rate would be cheap as he’s royal so prob is only 1% a year.
    He also earns a lot of income from private sources


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