Cheats

As prized pillock Prince Andrew reacts to mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s interviews, we suggest that he’s a case of “with friends like these, who needs enemies.”

Boxed plonk selling plonker Philip Schofield outrages brilliantly bonkers ‘British Battleaxe’ Christine Hamilton by skipping the queue to pay respects to Her Majesty The Queen.

Whose troll is worse? The bigots who support racist Tommy Robinson, the apologists for mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell or Meghan Markle’s ‘Sussex Squaddies’?

Both blubbing bed sh*tter Amber Heard and boring botherer the Duchess of Sussex should be heard less and ignored more; it is time to cancel these woke wazzocks.

ITV1’s ‘The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe’ is a must watch; it recasts the narrative of the 2002 disappearance of John Darwin and shows his wife as an under the thumb woman manipulated into fraud – just as said 71-year-old fraudster has supposedly headed off to Ukraine to fight.

As she faces sentencing for sex trafficking, morally bankrupt mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell turns to the words of morally superior Mark Twain; all they really have in common is mutual experience of financial bankruptcy.

The blithering buffoon that is Boris Johnson and the randy rotter that is Prince Andrew should do the decent thing… Disappear from public view forever and get a room together with their weird wack job wives.

‘The Steeple Times’ chooses our Heroes & Villains 2021; the 25 best and 25 worst people of the last year and the 25 who’ll be missed and the 25 who won’t.

As rumours circulate that Ghislaine Maxwell will claim to be insane to try to halt her trial, she rightly yet again gets denied bail; will she make it to the mental house?

Mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell has a meltdown and barricades herself in the conference room of the Metropolitan Detention Center.

Associate of the family of mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell, disgraced “reckless” ex-solicitor Malcolm Grumbridge, is exposed as “mysterious figure” behind a network of shell companies.

As it is revealed Donald Trump nearly pardoned Ghislaine Maxwell, Kirby Sommers’ book about her is released and the screws turn on her connections with the Clintons also.

Pointless prattler Lady Victoria Hervey yet again cashes in on her connections with the deceased nonce Jeffrey Epstein and his mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell.

Crackpot clairvoyant Michael Schneider claims he’s found the location of Madeleine McCann’s body; he remarkably did so with Google Maps, his fingers and the help of God (according to the ‘Mirror’).

Matthew Steeples demands to know why Boris Johnson was able to marry his puppet mistress in a Catholic cathedral given he’s already had two wives prior and highlights the wine chucking wife’s deviancy also.

‘The Devil’s Advocate’ Giovanni Di Stefano’s life is set to be made into a film following his forthcoming release from jail (and deportation from Britain).

Liverpool drug dealer Carl Stewart sent down after sharing an image of a block of Marks & Spencer mature blue Stilton in the palm of his hand is a reminder of the curious case of Max Clifford and his “short penis.”

Matthew Steeples suggests, as she seeks bail for a fifth time, mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell has become a real-life Violet-Elizabeth Bott.

Mendacious madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s moaning about her prison conditions exposed as bogtrot as she is revealed to be a mucky pup in the bathroom area.

EXCLUSIVE – Kirby Sommers shares a chapter from her latest book ‘Ghislaine Maxwell: An Unauthorized Biography’ with readers of ‘The Steeple Times.’

Houses of Horror SOLD – As New York residence of croaked paedo Jeffrey Epstein goes into contract for 192% less than was asked for it, London home of mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell supposedly nears sale for 400% more than she paid for it also.

As wicked witch Ghislaine Maxwell complains about losing her hair and being “forced to clean a shower with a broom,” her ‘bestie’ Prince Andrew trended on Twitter for all the wrong reasons.

Southend councillor gets into hot water over building sheds in his garden where his son engaged in “sexual activities.”

Fashion fruitcake Alexa Chung arrogantly announces that she has no interest in anything other than “endless parties” in “post-pandemic” times.