Thursday, May 30, 2024

Gordon The Gopher’s Gone – Phillip Schofield Quits ‘This Morning’; Will Further Scandal Follow?

As the queue-jumping puppet master of Gordon The Gopher Phillip Schofield quits ‘This Morning’, Matthew Steeples asks: “Will further scandal follow for this flogger of plughole-fit-only plonk?”

This morning, The Observer asked: “Will the Phil and Holly saga put an end to the absurd notion of the TV couple?” and aside from examining the storm-in-a-teacup of the end-of-the-road being reached for the dastardly queue-jumping duo, referenced the likes of the ‘washed-up old soak’ Judy Finnigan and her ‘modern day Dorian Gray-esque’ husband, Richard Madeley.


Whilst the married telly box duo of the alleged shoplifter Madeley – he still claims to have been falsely accused and even once pointed this out to President Bill Clinton – and his ‘mummy-like’ wife Finnigan remain together, “the silver soufflé” Phillip Schofield’s ‘sofa based’ relationship with Holly Willoughby is now finally toast.


After several weeks of the story not being about This Morning itself, but instead swirling around Phillip Schofield’s policeman-turned-nonce brother, Timothy, being sent down for twelve years, Willoughby refusing to speak to him off screen and allegations concerning a runner whom the presenter met when he was just thirteen, this became an out of control juggernaut that just had to be stopped.


Slammed even by the frankly nasty and noxious Tory twerp Nadine Dorries MP as someone “rather up himself” who “scared” her, the interesting question as we say goodbye and good riddance to ‘Pip’ is this: “Will further scandal follow for Phillip Schofield or will he simply left to fade away into the sunset along with his old mucker Gordon The Gopher?”


Editor’s Note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.


This morning on Twitter, Matthew Steeples polled his 10,600 personal followers of @M_Steeples. He asked: “Will further shocking stories about bitter bore Phillip Schofield emerge in wake of his departure from ITV1’s ‘This Morning’?” By 11:30am on Sunday 21st May 2023, the very clear majority of the 1,000 plus respondents took the view: “Yes; more scandals on the way.”

Twitter reacts to Matthew Steeples’s poll…

MS Twitter reaction 1
MS Twitter reaction 2

Twitter delights in the disappearance of Phillip Schofield from ITV1’s daytime screens…

Wacky and weird Phillip Schofield’s worst moments…

On himself (in spite of being condemned by everyone from Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford to Nadine Dorries MP):

“I am only about 26 in my head.”


“If I was a pig to work with, I wouldn’t get asked back.”


“My dad was the archetypal charming man. If I’ve inherited even a small bit of what he had, that would be enough for me.”


“I’m incredibly sentimental, although I’m not one of those people who doesn’t chuck anything out; I don’t keep used tea bags, just special mementos.”


To his one-time ‘friend’ turned ‘runner’ (for a time) on This Morning, Matthew McGreevy (whom he met when the young whippersnapper was just 12 or 13 years old) asking him about what they might end up doing in three years:

“Well, if I’m still getting away with it, I’ll be a happy man.”


On the world in general:

“We live in a world that has very sharp edges. It can be very bitter.”


On Holly Willoughby (who subsequently has distanced herself from the crying cretin):

“Holly is my rock.”


On being gay (in spite of hidden such for years):

“I thought maybe I was bisexual.”


“If you ask anyone who is gay, they know, there is no confusion.”


“You never know what is going on someone’s head when they think they are leading the perfect life.”


As he cut off invited guests on ‘This Morning’ who he believed misgendered LGBTQX+ sorts:

“We’ll get back to the show and we’ll get back to 2017 and not get back to medieval Britain in just a moment.”


On his now ex-wife’s keenness to be rid of him:

“My wife Steph never tells me to take on less work; she’s just glad to have me out of the house.”


On birthdays:

“I hate birthdays.”


On putting wine ahead of family:

“Wine is the biggest passion of my life without question.”


“I don’t do anything by halves and wine is an expensive passion.”


On preferring to travel alone:

“In general, I’d say that I need to be with the right people in the right place, although one of the best holidays I ever had was alone.”


On quitting Twitter:

“I have another secret Twitter account.”


“There’s nothing that winds me up more on Twitter than people who are stupid and who say the most ridiculous things.”


On the people he’s interviewed:

“I’m not being arrogant or blasé, but I got a bigger buzz sitting opposite Jean-Bernard Delmas at Château Haut-Brion than I did from interviewing Elton John, Liza Minelli or Whitney Houston.”


“You can tell when you look at someone and think: ‘He’s on the brink of fainting’ or that certainly something’s not right.”


On offending people:

“I love the fact we do break taboos.”


Asked why he and Holly Willoughby skipped the 13-hour queue to attend the lying-in-state of the late Queen Elizabeth II:

“Have you got nothing better to do with your time? … Why should I apologise?”


On ghosts and his past life:

“[I have] a rule about never borrowing money… [I was] ‘murdered’ in a past life over a debt… I opened the door to silence and felt horror wash over me. Three steps in, and I saw them – two murdered bodies on the floor. knew they were my wife and small child. Horror turned to fury. I knew why they were dead. I owed money to two brothers who worked at the end of the street in a sawmill. The brother [then] found me, dragged me outside, punched me to the ground and, as my head hit the mud, he repeatedly stamped on it until I was dead!”


“Our back garden is allegedly haunted by a ghost called the Grey Lady. When one of my daughters was three, she said she’d been speaking to a lady in the garden and we went running around trying to find this woman. There was no one there.”


On refusing to go near churches:

“Going into a church reminds of the terrifying vision of [past life] death… [I am] not willing to take the risk again.”


To a flower pot that he felt got in his way on television:

“Go back to where you were, go back to where you were… Only I can see them.”


To Lady Colin Campbell (whom he was interviewing about her latest book on the Duke and Duchess of Sussex):

“For someone who allegedly moves in aristocratic circles, isn’t it all a bit tawdry and undignified? … Paul Burrell, who’d have thought we’d quote him, said of one of your previous books on the Queen: ‘You can only be a true, reliable witness to history if you are there. Lady Colin Campbell was none of these things.’ … You are a gossip. Well, you’re a gossip, but only when it suits you.”


Whilst interviewing television personality Kim Woodburn (who responded by slamming his rudeness):

“I know why people reacted in the way that they reacted to you. It’s because of the way you make me feel sitting on that sofa. You are already making me feel controversial. [You are] confrontational… We’re just asking you a question.”


On dealing with problems (in spite of being the creator of many himself):

“I’m a very good clearer-upper.”


Whilst shockingly sharing a list of ‘names’ of Conservative politicians live on-air with then Prime Minister David Cameron of those he believed might be abusers (he was subsequently forced to apologise and pay £125,000 to Lord McAlpine, an innocent man):

“I have those names there. Those are the names on a piece of paper. You know the names on that piece of paper. Will you be speaking to those people?”


On the ‘work’ he has done:

“I’m not a workaholic.”


“I do have a rule about how much I will take on. The last thing you want is to be on TV too much and for people to be sick of you.”


On being on television:

“I am very conscious of the fact I am in peoples’ living rooms every day and they feel like they know me.”


“I meet people who are so sniffy about daytime TV… Ghastly.”


“I don’t want people turning on the telly and going: ‘Dear God, not him again.’”


‘Schofe’s’ extremely curious history… “What’ll come next for this raging ratbag?” is indeed the question…

Gordon The Gopher Phillip Schofield
Gordon The Gopher (also known as ‘Gordon T. Gopher’) was Phillip Schofield’s puppet ‘friend’ on ‘Children’s BBBC’ (‘CBBC’) between 1985 and 1987. The yellow puppet gopher with red pads – which were said to “represent lobster claws” – is amongst the many that the now former ITV ‘This Morning’ presenter turned upon. Of the puppet, Schofield once told ‘Heat’ magazine: “Gordon the Gopher is in rehab. It’s all gone horribly wrong for him. It’s a shame. I’ve got a restraining order against him and we don’t speak. He’s quite bitter and he has been ever since I got my role in ‘Doctor Dolittle’ in the West End and he didn’t get offered the part. It was the straw that broke the gopher’s back.”
Phillip Schofield claims not to check Twitter anymore; he has also said he has a ‘secret account’ so most likely does monitor the many thousands of messages slamming his utterly reprehensible antics.
Phillip Schofield claims not to check Twitter anymore; he has also said he has a ‘secret account’ so most likely does monitor the many thousands of messages slamming his utterly reprehensible antics.
Phillip Schofield with his now convicted and now jailed criminal 54-year-old paedophile brother Timothy Schofield in happier times. After the verdict earlier in April – in a case where the television presenter’s civilian police officer sibling was convicted of three counts of causing a child to watch sexual activity and three counts of engaging in sexual activity in the presence of a child – in a statement released by his lawyer, Phillip Schofield remarked: “My overwhelming concern is and has always been for the wellbeing of the victim and his family. I hope that their privacy will now be respected. If any crime had ever been confessed to me by my brother, I would have acted immediately to protect the victim and their family. These are despicable crimes and I welcome the guilty verdicts. As far as I am concerned, I no longer have a brother.” Timothy Schofield was also found guilty of three counts of causing a child to engage in sexual activity and two of sexual activity with a child at Exter Crown Court and had told the television presenter that he’d “had time together” (including watching porn and masturbating) with a child whilst the ‘This Morning’ host was doing the washing up in his very own kitchen.
On 8th November 2012, Schofield handed the then Prime Minister David Cameron a list of names of alleged sex offenders in the Conservative Party which he had found through research on the Internet. That list was partially visible to ‘This Morning’s’ millions of viewers and as a result one person on it, Lord McAlpine, sued. Subsequently, the broadcaster was quite rightly forced to issue and unreserved apology and a statement that read: “ITV and Phillip Schofield have now reached agreement with Lord McAlpine to settle his libel claim, made in relation to the This Morning programme broadcast… ITV and Phillip Schofield apologise unreservedly to Lord McAlpine, have agreed the terms of a statement to be made in open court, and have agreed to pay him damages of £125,000 and his legal costs.” According to ‘International Business,’ “the ITV settlement [was] reportedly less than McAlpine was seeking. However, the peer’s lawyer, Andrew Reid, said he was ‘pleased’ with ITV’s admission that it was wrong and called the settlement ‘pragmatic.’ … Reid told the BBC: ‘The Schofield stunt added fuel to the fire that was already there and we had to take that into account.”
Now former ITV1 ‘This Morning’ co-host Phillip Schofield cringed and looked as if he was about to snap when approached outside his West London home by GB News presenter Ben Leo in November 2022 about the ‘Queuegate’ scandal that utterly disgraced him. Here is a mouse-not-a-man who wrongly assumes that he’s some kind of national treasure worthy of not a jot of criticism.
Instead of skipping queues and upsetting the nation on multiple occasions, the all-round-angry man and now ex ‘This Morning’ host and ex-sidekick of Gordon the Gopher should now focus on improving his deservedly slammed boxed wines (right). He thought his red “perfect with olives” whilst the public decided it “better poured down the plughole.” Alternatively, he could put some effort into ‘making up’ with his missing from our screens for quite some time now former close friend, Matthew McGreevy.
The television presenter and all-round plonker with his supposed ‘former friend’ Matt McGreevy on another occasion.
Matt McGreevy semi-naked swimming shorts Anthea Turner Ruth Langsford
On one occasion, Matthew McGreevy – who has allegedly since been made to sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) – was paraded around on an episode of ‘This Morning’ in a just a pair of swimming trunks. Ruth Langsford looked on sheepishly whilst ‘Princess Tippy Toes’ swung into action and covered skinny McGreevy in sun tan lotion. Phillip Schofield’s role in orchestrating this puff piece remains unknown.
Simon Schofield
In recent days, Schofield has supposedly come to rely on a man named Simon Schofield (who is not a relation, but whom the ‘Daily Mail’ this week most tellingly described as like “a rock” to the now ex ‘This Morning’ presenter). Here, the latter is pictured with the pair’s ‘friend’ Matthew McGreevy.
The ‘This Morning’ host is known for being a very angry and bitter man. Like Ferne McCann (pictured right), a fellow presenter on ITV1 with a reputation for being an utter rotter and for having had a child with a monster who threw acid over innocent people in a London nightclub, he is also known for being incapable of owning his own mistakes.
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. Can’t stand creepy PS. The way he cuts off Holly all the time used to drive me mad !
    I have a feeling there are many more scandalous stories to come out about Phil and I can’t wait 🙃

  2. I don’t think we have heard the last of PS. I suspect the odd victim from his past will probably come forward over the coming months, now he’s not being protected by the TV network.
    The whole thing has a funny Saville smell to it.

  3. I find PS as obnoxious as you do but some things are blown out of proportions: he was just being cheeky about that flower pot in an over the top rambuctious way. Just a bit precious.
    As a journalist (term used loosely) he should not express an opinion or show biais which he did with that dole bludger. But frankly, isn’t every tax payer with no means to pay for their heating annoied at her as well?
    Also he believes in the afterlife? Big deal, lots of people do in the East. ( And lots of people should in the Christian West as that notion was initially part and parcel of the Bible.)
    I could go on but won’t and that is the point here: schofield is insignificant and finally gone. Now on to get rid of Willoughby and her lights on but nobody home stare. Those people have dragged the nation’s intellect for far too long. I’ll have more Attenborough please.


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