Sunday, May 16, 2021

Modest Madeley (And ‘Mummy’ Finnigan)

Alleged shoplifter and ‘modern day Dorian Gray’ Richard Madeley attempts to convince ‘Mirror’ readers that his relationship with alleged old soak ‘mummy’ Judy Finnigan is “normal”

Fresh from having shared his totally irrelevant and frankly insane views about coronavirus last October, alleged shoplifter Richard Madeley has sought to get himsef back in the mix in a joint interview in the Mirror this morning with his allegedly constantly pissed-off-her-skull wife, Judy Finnigan.

 

In a feature titled “Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan’s heartbreaks – affair, baby loss and health battles” by ‘showbiz features writer’ Frances Kindon, no mention was made of Madeley’s possible penchant for helping himself in supermarkets, but instead the focus was on how the couple first met.

 

Of an epic encounter that led to “the most solid union in showbiz,” Kindon gloriously remarked: “Their paths first crossed in a newsroom back in 1982 when Judy, 72, was asked to mentor a younger Richard, 64, and greeted him with the words, ‘Hello… I’m your Mummy’” before then adding that their own daughter finds “the amount of time they spend together is not normal.”

 

Elsewhere in the puff piece, Kindon reveled in ‘Dick and Dude’s’ “natural chemistry” and celebrated their “whole lot of red-hot chemistry” and positions as “the nation’s favourites.” She referenced “hurtful rumours” about them and then even allowed “sexual oversharer” Madeley to give a riposte. In it, he remarked:

 

“We’d gone away for a week to Cornwall with our children, and the mobile went in the car.”

 

“It was our bosses at Granada saying a terrible rumour was being put around that you’re in a self-help institution for men who batter their wives because you’ve beaten Judy, that Judy’s in a drying-out clinic and that the children are in care. We were in the f**king car.”

 

“We tracked it to the source… A particularly poisonous person. He’d leaked these smears and they were never published because we would have cleaned up in a libel case. But the one thing that lingered like a piece of floating sewage is this thing that Judy drinks. And she doesn’t.”

 

Hmm… The picture above clearly tells otherwise.

 

Richard Madeley’s ‘finest moments

In conversation with President Clinton

“I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent.”

 

Of women

“I’ve never met a single woman who’s happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I’ve never met her.”

 

On elephants

“So, are you telling me elephants are not born evil?”

 

To a man crying after paramedics saved his life

“Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it!”

 

Of old women skipping

“There’s not many better things than seeing an older woman skipping.”

 

Of wanting to be black

“I hope when I’m reincarnated I come back black because you age better.”

 

To Keira Knightley

“Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore.”

 

Of an autistic teenager

“The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”

 

To a caller

“I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”

 

Modest Madeley (And ‘Mummy’ Finnigan) – Richard and Judy – Alleged shoplifter and ‘modern day Dorian Gray’ Richard Madeley attempts to convince ‘Mirror’ readers that his relationship with alleged old soak ‘mummy’ Judy Finnigan is “normal.”
Modest Madeley (And ‘Mummy’ Finnigan) – Judy Finnigan is best known for quaffing, flashing her boobs and falling off sofas. In October 2014, she inexcusably defended footballer turned convicted rapist by saying: “The rape wasn’t violent… He didn’t cause any bodily harm to the person.” Of his victim, she hypocritically then added: “She had far too much to drink.”
Modest Madeley (And ‘Mummy’ Finnigan) – Whilst ‘Dorian Gray-esque’ Richard Madeley is best known for helping himself to champagne in supermarkets, his wife Judy Finnigan will be forever remembered for flashing at an awards ceremony in 2000.

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Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.

4 COMMENTS

  1. Who continues to pay them to be on television? Viewers should vote with their feet, figuratively, by changing channels. Problem soon solved when the tv folk ses the ratings plunge.

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