Moneybags Madeley’s £500k Pay Day

Alleged shoplifter turned moneybags man Richard Madeley can certainly now afford to actually pay for Krug champagne after landing a £500k pay day with ITV

Tellybox twerp Richard Madeley well and truly hit the jackpot this morning with revelations that he’s getting £200,000 to appear on ITV1’s I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! this month as well as an annual salary of £300,000 to present the same channel’s Good Morning Britain going forward from December.

First reported by the MailOnline’s Eve Buckland, news that motormouthed Madeley will replace Piers Morgan on Good Morning Britain “alongside a revolving team of guest presenters” was immediately condemned on social media. According to Buckland, Judy Finnigan’s annoying husband “is expected to host for two or three days a week.”

Assessing why the former This Morning co-host – whose cringeworthy car crash Alan Partridge-esque moments we feature below – decided to take on the role, a source commented:

“[Richard had a] heart to heart [with Judy]… [He] has always maintained he would never do GMB full-time, as he loves his life as it is.”

“But as the weeks have gone by, and he’s proven a constant hit with viewers, he’s really got into his stride and has been enjoying it more and more. He polls really well with fans and ratings have steadily been on the rise again over the past six months.”

“After a couple of meetings with ITV bosses, he was offered a full-time contract. And after consulting with his family, especially wife Judy, he decided ‘sod it’ – and to go for it.”

On Twitter, one user, Matthew Payne, declared of the channel’s decision: “Money for old rope. A sad, biased, ill-informed prat” whilst another, Rob McGuire, added: “[He’s just] a tactless, ignorant, rich, Tory clown.” Going further, quite rightly, John Slater concluded: “The bottom of the barrel has well and truly been scraped.”

‘Moneybags Madeley’ – whose washed-up wastrel wife is best known for necking rather than sipping her booze and flashing her tits at awards ceremonies – must be doing cartwheels. He’ll no longer have to worry about being accused of shoplifting champagne when heading down the booze aisle at Waitrose. The Krug’s most definitely now on him.

‘Moneybags’ Madeley’s Finest Moments

On his son’s wedding

“There’s been so much angst about it… It’s been so choppy, but, yes, he got married and now we’ve got a daughter-in-law.”

Of his daughter

“Sorry Chloe, but you were an accident and you know it!”

In conversation with President Clinton

“I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent.”

Of women

“I’ve never met a single woman who’s happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I’ve never met her.”

Of alleged mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell

“The sharks are circling; they smell blood in the water… Cynics would say the [FBI] agency is playing a long game, seeking to sway the minds of jurors in advance of Maxwell’s trial next year… Innocent until proven guilty? That honourable credo is in shreds.”

“Firstly, consider the conditions under which Ms Maxwell is being held. They are truly grim… It would take a heart of stone not to feel empathy for another human being suffering what amounts to mental torture. To coin a phrase: you wouldn’t treat a dog like that.”

“But it’s not sadism, or premature punishment ahead of a verdict. No; there’s calculated purpose behind this pitiless regime. But, here’s another prediction… it will. They’re trying to break her.”

On elephants

“So, are you telling me elephants are not born evil?”

To a man crying after paramedics saved his life

“Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway, after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it!”

Showing sympathy for people who died in quicksand in Morecambe Bay

“Yes, what an awful way to die.”

In Nostradamus-like fashion on coronavirus and lockdowns

“We are being duped… [They are trying to] put the fear of God into the public. A great reckoning is coming.”

“There’s no point in running away and hiding from the virus.”

“We must learn to live with coronavirus.”

“If I had a bell, I would ring it… Only 59 people who have been double vaccinated and without any other serious underlying health problems, died from COVID, out of 50,000 deaths in England, this year.”

“I have to say that the majority of people are surprisingly forgiving [to government representative Steve Barclay], and are actually saying that they understand that the reason for some of the mistakes wasn’t malpractice but scientific ignorance – we didn’t know enough… But on the whole, you seem to be getting away with it – as far as our viewers are concerned.”

Of old women skipping

“There’s not many better things than seeing an older woman skipping.”

Of wanting to be black

“I hope when I’m reincarnated I come back black because you age better.”

To Keira Knightley

“Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore.”

Of an autistic teenager

“The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s ‘Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”

To a caller

“I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”