Wednesday, September 13, 2023

Top Trumped or Top Tramped?

Will guffawing gadabout Prince Andrew’s antics in Tramp prove to be his downfall or will his old fellow golf and girl loving mucker Donald Trump come out to “wish him well”?

Prince Andrew has enjoyed partying with Donald Trump – a full of beans fellow, like him after all, whom the blabbering buffoon Lady Victoria Hervey would describe as “not a monk” – on a number of occasions. Prince Andrew has also enjoyed partying at Tramp on a number of occasions. However, Prince Andrew would also most certainly like to claim that he never sweated on any of these occasions or in any of these venues.


Now, as he either looks to make a settlement with Virginia Giuffre (neé Roberts) or to a face-off with her in a New York courtroom, the stripped of virtually all his privileges second son of the reigning monarch may find that his antics with Donald Trump in America and his antics at Tramp nightclub in England could both prove to be either a blessing or a curse.


After the royal’s alleged one-time lover Ghislaine Maxwell was first arrested on 2nd July 2020, the then 45th President of the United States of America opted to remark of the since convicted sex offender and him also: “I just wish her well, frankly. I’ve met her numerous times over the years especially since I lived in Palm Beach. I guess they lived in Palm Beach, but I wish her well, whatever it is. I don’t know the situation with Prince Andrew. I just don’t know. I’m not aware of it.”


Now, with The Guardian reporting this morning that the judge in Virginia Giuffre’s sexual abuse case against the prince “has officially requested assistance from British and Australian legal authorities in obtaining testimony from potential witnesses outside the US,” one has to ask where is Donald Trump? Will the brash billionaire braggart be leaping to the rostrum to “wish well” his fellow golf and girl loving chum or will he this time keep quiet?


More tricky for ‘Randy Andy’ however is the matter of a lady named Shukri Walker. Her name is included amongst those whose testimony will be sought.


In August 2020, Ms Walker told The Sun of the events of 10th March 2001 – the very night on which the Duke of York denies having had sexual relations with the then Miss Roberts at the Belgravia home of the mucky madam Miss Maxwell – and stated that she’d “stepped on Prince Andrew’s foot and then apologised” at Tramp nightclub in ritzy Jermyn Street, St James’s. She added:


“When I watched the BBC interview and saw Prince Andrew deny knowing Virginia, saying he has no recollection of that night, I had to come forward. Because I was there and I do have recollection of it.”


“He looked like he was having a great time. And he was with this young girl who was close to my own age, perhaps even a bit younger than me.”


“They were not that alone. They were with the woman who has just been arrested, and Epstein. I will never forget that night because I was told this is a real prince.”


“That’s the moment that stood out for me. I don’t think I would have remembered otherwise.”


“I do remember the little girl perhaps was a little bit drunk or just had a weird expression, an awkward expression. But she wasn’t smiling, it was the opposite of smiles.”


For Prince Andrew the future now looks as bleak as a band hand in the Top Trumps parlour game. Sat languishing with his delusionally dippy live-in ex-wife ‘Farting Fergie’ in Royal Lodge, Windsor, perhaps it’s time for this friendless – other than ‘Old Grinch’ Bernie Ecclestone – duo to get themselves a set and play a new game; let it be called ‘Top Trumped’ or ‘Top Tramped.’


Pictured top – The Duke of York guffawing with the notoriously noisy “Chanel clad” former charity tin banger Catherine Meyer (now outrageously elevated to Baroness Meyer courtesy of her fellow kitten heel lover, Theresa May) in New York on 14th October 2001; given they both love a freebie, they clearly had a lot to guffaw about (left) and the entrance to Tramp Nightclub at 40 Jermyn Street in St James’s, London, SW1 (right).


Prince Andrew Donald Trump
The Terrible Twins – Prince Andrew guffawing with President Donald Trump at Westminster Abbey on 3rd June 2019. Neither drink alcohol and both have a liking for young girls and golf.
Tramp nightclub interior
The interior of Tramp nightclub. Independent witness Shukri Walker alleges that she saw the Queen’s second son “with a young girl around the time that plaintiff contends Prince Andrew abused her in London after visiting Tramp nightclub.” Of this, the lawyer Lisa Bloom told ‘The Guardian’ in January: “My client says she was there and she remembers the night clearly because she never saw a royal before or since. She says Prince Andrew was happy, smiling and dancing, and Virginia did not look happy. My client was a trafficking victim herself and wants everyone to know that sex trafficking is real, ongoing and devastating.”
Pizza Express Woking Prince Andrew
The Duke of York’s claims that he was at Pizza Express at 65 Goldsworth Road, Woking, Surrey, GU21 6LJ and not at Tramp nightclub at 40 Jermyn Street, St James’s, London, SW1Y 6DN on the night of 10th March 2001, but whether or not he went to a children’s party at the former, it is quite possible he could also have got to the latter later on given the distance between the two is just 32 miles via M4 and M25. A journey between the two would take a normal driver about 1 hour and 4 minutes, though with his security detail the royal could have got there far faster. Equally, it must be considered that Princess Beatrice supposedly has “absolutely no recall whatsoever of that specific birthday party… or of her father picking her up” according to a source who spoke to ‘The Daily Express’ in December 2020.
Prince Andrew Donald Trump Melania Trump
Prince Andrew with Donald Trump and his future wife Melania at Mar-a-Lago on 12th February 2000. In this image, the randy royal’s eyes look rather inflated and it is clear he’d probably have rather liked to have got his chubby fingers into the Slovene-American model’s cleavage.
Prince Andrew Ivanka Trump
The Duke of York attempting to look vaguely intelligent in the presence of Ivanka Trump at Buckingham Palace on 3rd June 2019. ‘Randy Andy’ is rather partial to young blondes and no doubt rather resented the fact that ‘The Donald’s’ favourite child had already gone and got herself married to the son of a convicted criminal.
Prince Andrew Melania Trump Gwendolyn Beck Jeffrey Epstein
Prince Andrew guffawing with the then Melania Knauss (left), Gwendolyn Beck and the since croaked taxi driver turned paedophile Jeffrey Epstein at Mar-a-Lago, Palm Beach, Florida on 12th February 2000.
Prince Andrew Ghislaine Maxwell
The Duke of York with his alleged one-time lover turned future incarcerated, convicted sex trafficker and mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell at Heidi Klum’s ‘Hookers and Pimps’ party at New York’s “trendy” Hudson’s Hotel in October 2000. That party was also attended by the royal’s chum Donald Trump.
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. Im doubting that trump is anatomically human. His purpose is non existent even to himself. Someone please get ivanka an appointment with a hair dresser. She looks straight out of woodstock. America is drowning in stupidity and the trumps symbolize the dark ages of it all. So sad , so bad , so mad!!! Ian Maxwell expressing appreciation for “The Donalds” kind words about Ghislaine made her situation worse. The entire Trump gang should be living in a homeless shelter. Andrew enjoyed the company of cockroaches. Ill never understand the Queens approval of him, what is missing in her?? Im remembering Trumps visit to her with horror. Melanias’ absurd yellow costume and vacant fake smiles..oh it grates on me. Andrew and Ivanka, what a perfect transatlantic glamour couple. EEK.


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