Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Twit Girls

Lettuce & Jam – Which’ll end up having lasted longer? The Liz Truss lettuce or Meghan Markle’s jam?

As meddling minx Meghan Markle gets mocked about her jaunt into jam and loopy lettuce-loathing loon Liz Truss gets mocked about bumbling like a buffoon about her book, Samantha Markle speaks exclusively to ‘The Steeple Times’ about her soppy, self-centred sister.

Not Quite The Full Ticket – Disgraceful Omid Scobie And Disgraceful Duke & Duchess of Sussex Strike Again

As a ticket package to a dinner with the Duchess of Sussex is laughably peddled for £795,000, Matthew Steeples reminds the much loathed ‘MeGain’s’ PR peddler Omid Scobie that “recollections may vary” as he heads to court to support Prince Harry.

Horror In The Hamptons… 2020 Coronavirus Crisis Ransackings v 2022 Cost-Of-Living Crisis Riots in This Ritzy Resort

Whilst the Hamptons was the scene of “bidding wars” and “supermarket spats” over £275 bottles of Chablis during the 2020 coronavirus crisis, it’s become the scene of socialites being arrested in “wife beaters” for assaulting “glampin’ workers” in the 2022 cost-of-living-crisis.

Briefcase Bore – ‘Moaning Meg’ Is A Bimbo And A Bore

The moaning menace Duchess of Sussex’s claims that she was treated as a “bimbo” when working as a ‘briefcase girl’ just prove that she’s a blithering, blubbing bore.

Maximum Maxwell – 55-Year Sentence For Grubby Groper Ghislaine Maxwell

Prosecutors rightly demand mucky madam sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell gets maximum 55 years in the clink and thus likely deservedly dies there; they also want the deviant liar to pay the maximum £615,000 fine and call out her spreading “horror stories” about her incarceration as “unfounded.”

Cash, Rockets & Mucky Madams 2022

As Ghislaine Maxwell’s former business partner Jemma Kidd takes part in a car rally that raises money for victims of sex trafficking, we again call out the ridiculous vanity project of rich-not-robust women that is Cash & Rocket.

The End Is Nigh – Ghislaine Maxwell’s Sentencing Timeline

As sentencing approaches on 28th June, the end is nigh for Ghislaine Maxwell; elsewhere Elon Musk asks about her client list as the mucky madam’s pugnacious PR peddlers go crickets.

Chequer-ed Carrie – PM’s Wife Treats Staff Appallingly (Again)

As it is revealed Carrie Johnson has been abusive to staff at Chequers, perhaps it is time for her to be told: “Carrie Shouldn’t Live Here Anymore;” this demanding wench along with her hapless husband deserve kicking out of all of their grace-and-favour residences ASAP.

Carrie Doesn’t Live Here Anymore – PM Wife Missing 2022

It seems “Carrie doesn’t live here anymore” has become the likely fate of Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s currently missing wine chucking puppet mistress as “Where is Carrie Johnson?” trends on Twitter.

The Epstein-Maxwell Profiteers – Lady Victoria Hervey & Sarah, Duchess of York

As noxious nitwit Lady Victoria Hervey sticks her oar in over Ukraine, fellow Epstein-Maxwell associate and feckless fruitcake Sarah, Duchess of York heads off to the USA to try and rake in more wonga; shame on these pointless prattling profiteers.

Will Grubby Ghislaine Give Up Names?

Matthew Steeples asks: “Given that both Jeffrey Epstein and Jean-Luc Brunel have been ‘suicided,’ will Ghislaine Maxwell now cough up the names of any of her co-conspirator sex abusers?”

“Wild Times” With ‘Randy Andy’

As Prince Andrew’s notches on the bedpost non-counter Michael Wynne-Parker talks of their “wild times” bedding birds, we suggest the randy royal might do better to silence his chirping chums including ‘Lady Herpes’ also.

The Truth About THAT 2001 Photo

Matthew Steeples questions the murky motives of those questioning the authenticity of THAT 2001 photo of Prince Andrew, Virginia Roberts and Ghislaine Maxwell; it is time that the personal profiteer Lady Victoria Hervey was called out for the fake that she is and it is time to remind the public that it is Ghislaine Maxwell and her avaricious associates who’ve actually been exposed for faking photos.

Mucky Madam’s Mark Twain Moment

As she faces sentencing for sex trafficking, morally bankrupt mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell turns to the words of morally superior Mark Twain; all they really have in common is mutual experience of financial bankruptcy.

Randy Andy Turns To Toff Twerps

As Prince Andrew gets support from the dregs of society in the form of disgraced news baron felon toff Lord Black and washed up wastrel daughter of a criminal twerp Lady Victoria Hervey, we suggest he’s truly scraping the barrel.

Top Trumped or Top Tramped?

Will guffawing gadabout Prince Andrew’s antics in Tramp prove to be his downfall or will his old fellow golf and girl loving mucker Donald Trump come out to “wish him well”?

From ‘TwIt Girl’ to ‘InstaIdiot’ – Lady Victoria Hervey

Dumber than dumb non-entity Lady Victoria Hervey morphs from ‘TwIt Girl’ to ‘InstaIdiot’ in a series of Instagram posts about her mucky madam mate Ghislaine Maxwell; she charmingly labels one victim she doesn’t even know a “complete whore” and another she claims to actually know a “drug addict slut and a f*ck up.”