Tag: bizarre

  • Mucky Madam’s Mark Twain Moment

    Mucky Madam’s Mark Twain Moment

    As she faces sentencing for sex trafficking, morally bankrupt mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell turns to the words of morally superior Mark Twain; all they really have in common is mutual experience of financial bankruptcy

    As deranged and delusional as only a woman who “makes monster moves” and “growls” in front of prison guards most certainly has to be – qualities apparently moulded into her by her equally deranged and delusional crook father – it must be said that when she gave a TED talk in 2014, the since convicted mucky madam sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell did exhibit obvious intellectual intelligence.

     

    University of Oxford educated and the holder of both a BA and an MA – courtesy, it must be remembered, of her decidedly dodgy daddy bunging a fair wad of wonga to the college both she and her school chum Dame Cressida Dick attended – Miss Maxwell (AKA ‘Mrs Scott Borgerson’ – if he’s not given up on her and run off with his sexually “saucy” yoga partner) is now gunning for an appeal against her conviction.

     

    As part of a strategy they believe will set this sordid sex trafficker free, the Maxwell family are using their @RealGhislaine Twitter account to peddle yet more piffle about their “beloved sister.” The account has attracted 10,000 followers and some media attention, but most responses to it have without a shadow of a doubt been beyond negative.

     

    Yesterday evening whilst currently facing a long wait until sentencing on the 28th June, taking a turn further into the bizarre after babbling on about the ‘Bouncing Czech’s’ favourite child – a child he also allegedly abused, if you’d believe a word that morphs out of the mouth of onetime owner of The Daily Telegraph and The Sunday Telegraph Lord Hartwell’s daughter Eleanor Berry – @RealGhislaine went for the “intellectual” angle and tweeted:

     

    “‘When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. But I’m getting older, and soon, I’ll remember only the things that never happened.’ Mark Twain.”

     

    In sharing this, the Maxwells may think themselves clever, but they seem to forget that though Mark Twain shared having been bankrupt financially once with them, he most certainly wasn’t also morally bankrupt like their evil, murderer father. Unlike the pension pot plunderer’s kiddies with a still missing £500 million on their collective consciences, Twain paid back his creditors in full and unlike them, history remembers him fondly. History and especially the pensioners cheated out of comfortable retirements will never remember the duplicitous Maxwells in that way.

     

    On the last day of January, obviously irritated at the way in which their seriously sinister sibling was quite deservedly being presented, @RealGhislaine shared another laughable tweet. It read:

     

    “The narrative that says ‘she’s the daughter of a bad man, she’s treated badly, she goes with another bad man’ it’s so simplistic… It’s just intellectually lazy and it’s wrong.”

     

    As crusading author Kirby Sommers highlighted in Ghislaine Maxwell: An Unauthorized Biography, Robert Maxwell once remarked: “I have a beautiful daughter and she’s just like me.” As, we have pointed out repeatedly when quoting it: The word “beautiful” should be replaced with “deviant” and it is jolly well time the mendacious Maxwell family faced that unsavoury truth.

     

    To purchase a copy of ‘Ghislaine Maxwell: An Unauthorized Biography’ by Kirby Sommers, click here.

     

    Jeffrey Epstein Ghislaine Maxwell
    Ghislaine Maxwell might like to think of herself as a bit of a brainbox, but forevermore she’ll be remembered for sex trafficking young girls with the croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein and for teaching the dimwitted dumb disgrace Lady Victoria Hervey how to give blowjobs.
    Ghislaine Maxwell TED 2014
    Ghislaine Maxwell has spoken on TED and at such events as the Westchester Digital Summit. In promotional material for such she was referenced as “a private helicopter pilot, a trained EMT, and a qualified ROV and Deepworker submarine pilot.” They added: “She speaks four languages: English, French, Spanish and Italian,” but neglected to mention that in addition to her American, British and French passports, she bizarrely told lawyers at Boies Schiller & Flexner that she was “a citizen of TerraMar” in April 2016.
    @RealGhislaine Tweet 1
    The @RealGhislaine ‘Mark Twain Moment’ tweet didn’t exactly go viral. It was liked just 24 times, quoted once and retweeted by 3 other accounts.

    Responses to @RealGhislaine’s ‘Mark Twain Moment’:

    “F**king what? The whole family is delusional lmfao.”

     

    “This is so disgusting! Your basically say all those women are liars, f**k outs here. This account is pathetic.”

     

    “You wouldn’t know Mark Twain if you ran into him! He wasn’t a sick person such as yourself. #guilty #pedophile.”

     

    “If I raped a bunch of kids (like you), I’d probably wish for that outcome as well.”

     

    @RealGhislaine Tweet 2
    The @RealGhislaine ‘Bad Man’ tweet was equally badly received and only liked 28 times and retweeted by 3 other accounts.
    @RealGhislaine Tweet 3
    The second part of this missive, complete with a link to a toady interview with Ian Maxwell in ‘La Repubblica’ on 31st January 2022, was liked only 18 times.

    Responses to @RealGhislaine’s ‘Bad Man Moment’:

    “Let’s be honest. For donkey’s years, your sister has had the media on her side with the rich and famous for her own aggrandizement and projects. You are lucky you are given a platform to speak. Most people are not.”

     

    “Whichever way you cut it, you cannot get beyond the fact that your sister had a business with/was in business with Jeffrey Epstein and that she herself or her reps have admitted to his misconduct. She could have done something to stop it. So why didn’t she?”

     

    “When your sister was deposed she could have said something. She didn’t. That was her choice. She could have gone to the FBI herself. She didn’t. These were conscious decisions she made. She does have to bear responsibility of her own decisions to keep quiet.”

     

    “If your sister was a victim of Jeffrey Epstein’s, she could have told the FBI, she could have called trafficking hotlines. It’’ not as if she was not extremely well connected, including to Clinton, Trump, Gates, Jobs, Rothschild, Kerry… She was better connected than 99.9%.”

     

    “Ghislaine Maxwell traded on being the daughter of Robert Maxwell and girlfriend/associate of Jeffrey Epstein. She didn’t have a problem with being associated with them when it served her purpose. Only now is it a problem…”

     

    “I guess we need to see the sex photos to prove her brother is wrong.”

     

    “What a vomit inducing family.”

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pUzcRORDIg&list=PLrpYYSyHdJhhUgM5HW7vYXL92eDMSWA73
  • Don’t Come On Carrie!

    Don’t Come On Carrie!

    Matthew Steeples argues that Daniel Johnson’s “Come on Carrie: your country needs you!” call to Boris Johnson’s wine chucking latest baby mama is nothing but claptrap

    The Article is one of those online titles that one can dip into from time to time and find an array of opinions about politics. It claims to show “the world in all its shades of grey” and though that’s not meant in a ‘John Major style’ (thank the Lord), the publication’s attempts to “see a story from every angle” is indeed refreshing.

     

    Yesterday, however, the title’s editor Daniel Johnson – the brother of the controversial right-wing Vote Leave and anti-lockdown COVID Recovery Group funding former owner of the Pizza Express group Luke Johnson – penned quite frankly the most bizarre article known to man.

     

    Daniel Johnson, also a founding editor of Standpoint and described by the Independent as having “the air of a classics don” and listed on Wikipedia for having “asserted that Islam in not a peaceful religion,” asked: “Why isn’t the Prime Minister calling for a post-Covid catch-up campaign [for British school children]?” He then turned to what he believes should happen in the wake of Prince Philip’s funeral tomorrow.

     

    Bizarrely and from utterly nowhere, the journalist went off on a seriously odd tangent and declared:

     

    “Our sympathy for the Royal Family is all the greater because this has been a sad time for so many others, too. After so many funerals, a wedding would not come amiss. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a divorced man in possession of the good fortune to be Prime Minister must be in want of a wife.”

     

    “Next month Boris Johnson and Carrie Symonds will have been engaged for 18 months. Once the restrictions on weddings have been lifted in June, there is nothing to stop them getting married. Not everyone would rejoice, but most people would wish them well. Royal weddings happen regularly; prime ministerial ones are rare birds. Indeed, the last time a Prime Minister tied the knot while in office was in 1822, when Lord Liverpool remarried after being widowed.”

     

    “If a week is a long time in politics, two centuries is an aeon. There are many reasons why Boris might be hesitant, but his fiancée is no shrinking violet and is quite capable of insisting that the time has come. Little Wilfred is growing fast. The nation needs cheering up. Come on, Carrie: your country needs you!”

     

    Aside from the fact that most of the nation would prefer Prime Minister Johnson to be focusing on getting the current out of the Covid crisis and fixing our economy, ‘Journalist Johnson’ misses the point entirely about the country’s thoughts about our serial shagging head honcho.

     

    Whilst Tory sleaze – with the Greenshill scandal and the likes of Matt Hancock handing out multi-million pound contracts willy-nilly to his mates – is dominating the headlines, I’d argue that our country needs a little less of ‘Costly Carrie’ and not a bit more. With her penchant for £200,000 “monstrous” interior design makeovers and £12,500 deliveries of food from ritzy Daylesford, here is a Barbara Amiel-esque wastrel completely out of touch with the nation.

     

    A wedding for Carrie Symonds would certainly cement the status of a wine chucking wench with a penchant for hanging around with members of the far-right Traditional Britain Group and working for organisations supported by the deservedly incarcerated mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell, but what would it actually do for the great British public?

     

    “Absolutely nothing” is frankly the only acceptable answer.

     

    Next!

     

    Don’t Come On Carrie! The nation does NOT need Carrie Symonds – Matthew Steeples argues that Daniel Johnson’s “Come on, Carrie: your country needs you!” call to Boris Johnson’s wine chucking latest baby mama is nothing but claptrap.
    Don’t Come On Carrie! Boris Johnson’s current squeeze Carrie Symonds was described by her alleged spreader of fake news about Russia ex-boyfriend Oliver Haiste (sometimes spelt ‘Haste’) as: “Any relationship with Carrie or friendship with Carrie is very intense and can often burn brightly… Never boring… Tumultuous… Intense and passionate… That passion can work the other way when she is not happy with you… It’s the most up and down relationship I have had.”
    Don’t Come On Carrie! The nation does NOT need Carrie Symonds – Matthew Steeples argues that Daniel Johnson’s “Come on, Carrie: your country needs you!” call to Boris Johnson’s wine chucking latest baby mama is nothing but claptrap.
    Don’t Come On Carrie! Rumours of Boris Johnson’s affairs continue to do the rounds on social media. Aside from a supposed ongoing fling with a certain tame BBC journalist, the Prime Minister has been repeatedly linked to various Russians.
    Don’t Come On Carrie! The nation does NOT need Carrie Symonds – Matthew Steeples argues that Daniel Johnson’s “Come on, Carrie: your country needs you!” call to Boris Johnson’s wine chucking latest baby mama is nothing but claptrap.
    Don’t Come On Carrie! The man pictured left believes “Boris Johnson was sent by Christ” to “fulfill bible prophecy” whilst a parody magazine mocked the Prime Minister with a headline: “Scumbag Exposed! My hubby had TWELVE children before WE MET!”
  • (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey

    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey

    Tedious Tory twerp Shaun Bailey’s leaflets reported to the CPS as “fraudulent” after his burglar alarm blunder and being condemned over “talking bollocks” about the finances of homeless people

    Aside from likely just polling his own campaign office and nobody else to come to the conclusion: “A majority of voters now believe Shaun Bailey will do a better job as Mayor,” the batshit bonkers Conservative candidate campaigning to run the nation’s capital has this morning again featured in the Guardian. This time, this noxious nitwit has hit the headlines for allegedly distributing “fraudulent” leaflets.

     

    Reported to the Crown Prosecution Service over junk mail that featured a fake City Hall insignia yet included no mention of the Conservative Party, bombastic Bailey was condemned by Labour’s lawyers, Edwards Duthie Shamash. They stated that his latest campaign literature represented an “attempt to attract the reader’s attention with the pretence that it is issued from the headquarters of the London mayor and the Greater London Authority, such that it is an official communication from a public authority with powers of taxation.”

     

    Previously, brazen bozo Bailey was condemned earlier this month for condescendingly claiming that homeless people could and should save £5,000 to get a home and in March 2020 for bizarrely arguing that giving out 300,000 burglar alarms to Londoners aged 65 plus would “reduce the amount of people who become career burglars.”

     

    In 2005, in a further illustration of his bizarre bigotry, Bailey claimed multiculturalism could make the UK a “crime-ridden cesspool” and argued that accommodating Muslims and Hindus was “robbing Britain of its community.” At the time, he also concluded: “It’s far easier for black people to integrate.”

     

    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – Tory Shaun Bailey reported to CPS – Tory twerp Shaun Bailey’s leaflets reported to the CPS as “fraudulent” after his burglar alarm blunder and being condemned over “talking bollocks” about the finances of homeless people.
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – Lawyers acting on behalf of Labour, in their submission to the Crown Prosecution Service, called leaflets distributed by Bailey’s campaign team in December a “fraudulent device,” as described by the 1983 Representation of the People Act.
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – Tory Shaun Bailey reported to CPS – Tory twerp Shaun Bailey’s leaflets reported to the CPS as “fraudulent” after his burglar alarm blunder and being condemned over “talking bollocks” about the finances of homeless people.
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – Marina Purkiss compared Shaun Bailey’s decidedly dodgy leaflets to those of Vote Leave’s fake news NHS ones.
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – Tory Shaun Bailey reported to CPS – Tory twerp Shaun Bailey’s leaflets reported to the CPS as “fraudulent” after his burglar alarm blunder and being condemned over “talking bollocks” about the finances of homeless people.
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – An Oddschecker analysis in January 2021 puts Shaun Bailey in third position behind Sadiq Khan and Brian Rose, “a guy with a mid-Atlantic twang who hosts David Icke on his YouTube channel.
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – Tory Shaun Bailey reported to CPS – Tory twerp Shaun Bailey’s leaflets reported to the CPS as “fraudulent” after his burglar alarm blunder and being condemned over “talking bollocks” about the finances of homeless people.
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – On the 19th January, Ladbrokes Politics pointed out that the latest internal polling by Shaun Bailey’s campaign director had left “betting markets strangely unmoved.” In response, one Twitter user, Jon Ragno, remarked: “’Internal polls’ – Ben means they asked round the campaign office, doesn’t he.”
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – Tory Shaun Bailey reported to CPS – Tory twerp Shaun Bailey’s leaflets reported to the CPS as “fraudulent” after his burglar alarm blunder and being condemned over “talking bollocks” about the finances of homeless people.
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – Twitter users mocked the campaign’s ‘Shaun Bailey – A Fresh Start For London’ logo resembled an “ad for a laundry product.” One, Lewis Taylor, responded: “Bang, and the bullshit is gone!”
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – Tory Shaun Bailey reported to CPS – Tory twerp Shaun Bailey’s leaflets reported to the CPS as “fraudulent” after his burglar alarm blunder and being condemned over “talking bollocks” about the finances of homeless people.
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – Other Twitter users rounded on Bailey and suggested he is more likely to come “a very bad second” or third even in the forthcoming London mayoral elections.
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – Tory Shaun Bailey reported to CPS – Tory twerp Shaun Bailey’s leaflets reported to the CPS as “fraudulent” after his burglar alarm blunder and being condemned over “talking bollocks” about the finances of homeless people.
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – Another response to the same article suggested “Tommy Robinson would be proud of [Shaun Bailey]!” and added: “[He] should be ashamed!”
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – Tory Shaun Bailey reported to CPS – Tory twerp Shaun Bailey’s leaflets reported to the CPS as “fraudulent” after his burglar alarm blunder and being condemned over “talking bollocks” about the finances of homeless people.
    (Yet More) Bollocks from Bailey – After a recent article in ‘The Times,’ one respondent, Michael Brown, highlighted Shaun Bailey’s remarks about how “good looking [girls] tend to have been around.” He quoted the Tory wannabe mayor as having said: “The boys have got this opinion that if a girl looks clean, and that generally means she’s good looking, she appeals to them, it is less likely that she’ll have an infection… If a girl appeals to one that way, she’ll appeal to all of them… She’ll tend to have been around.” A Dr. Helga Lees responded: “It is not obvious [Shaun Bailey] is a nutcase?”
  • Moron of the Moment – Shaun Bailey

    Moron of the Moment – Shaun Bailey

    Pontificating pillock Shaun Bailey proves himself unfit to be Mayor of London after curiously claiming impoverished homeless people can and should save £5,000 to get a home

    As we pointed out last March, Rory Stewart would have made a great Mayor of London. Sadly, since he’s no longer in the running, the “inept banger-on about being the son of a bus driver” Labour incumbent Sadiq Khan is getting the bloody easiest ticket-to-ride.

     

    Aside from an especially creepy looking American YouTuber and fan of David Icke named Brian Rose as an independent, all the opposition have managed to put up is a pontificating pillock named Shaun Bailey. This self-declared “different dude” is standing for the Conservative Party in spite of bizarrely previously branding himself “gobby and dangerous.”

     

    Having declared a pointlessly ear-piercing policy of giving free burglar alarms to 300,000 Londoners aged 65 plus and shown himself as a “foolish man with pockets plainly as large as China” in 2020, bombastic Bailey has returned to the fray this week. This Tory twit has now ludicrously stated that he believes 62,670 “homeless people in the capital would be able to save up for a £5,000 deposit to buy a share in a newly-built affordable home.”

     

    Reported on this morning in the Guardian and Mirror, Bailey’s off-the-wall remarks to Inside Housing included:

     

    “I don’t think the £5,000 [deposit to secure a mortgage] will [be a problem for those currently in temporary accommodation]. The mortgage application thing might be a bit tougher … They could save for it, yeah.”

     

    Going further, the Guardian reported that this “man of gimmicks” and “malicious” moron continued with his gibberish:

     

    Pressed by the interviewer on whether he was suggesting a homeless family in bed and breakfast accommodation could afford a deposit, Bailey replied: “Not all of them, but some people could. A full proportion of people could.”

     

    He added: “I know about that situation, I sofa surfed for years. You’re right, I definitely couldn’t have come up with £5,000, but those people I’m not expecting to or asking to. We’ll provide social housing for them.”

     

    Reaction to this nitwit numbskull was unsurprisingly that of “widespread bewilderment” and of him, Lambeth Labour councillor Ed Davie tweeted:

     

    “Famously, people living in poverty usually have at least £5,000 lying around – it’s amazing that it hasn’t occurred to them to simply buy a London property, which are well known for being really cheap. Thank God senior Tories are here to give out this good advice.”

     

    Whilst Sadiq Khan’s policies – such as the extension of Boris Johnson’s bonkers bike lanes – have been equivalent to driving a bus into a brick wall, Shaun Bailey has yet again proven something else: Here, indeed, is a berk who shouldn’t be allowed to be in charge of a bus ticket, let alone Britain’s capital. It’s time, instead, that Bailey was just put back in his box.

     

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    Moron of the Moment – Shaun Bailey – Out-of-touch Tory wazzock – Pontificating pillock Shaun Bailey proves himself unfit to be Mayor of London after curiously claiming impoverished homeless people can and should save £5,000 to get a home.
    Birds of a Feather – Shaun Bailey with Boris Johnson. The fact that the pair “get on well” is proof enough that the loopy wannabe Mayor of London is unfit for office.
    Moron of the Moment – Shaun Bailey – Out-of-touch Tory wazzock – Pontificating pillock Shaun Bailey proves himself unfit to be Mayor of London after curiously claiming impoverished homeless people can and should save £5,000 to get a home.
    Birds of a Feather – Shaun Bailey with now former Prime Minister David Cameron. The smug look on this duo’s faces sums up the “f**k the rest of you” attitude of these opportunists; here is a pair whose involvement in politics has caused nothing but disaster for everyone whilst their own pockets get deeper.
    Brian Rose’s decision to stand as a candidate to become Mayor of London was understandably greeted with mockery by ‘Coffeezilla’ and described as “some form of joke” by ‘From The Hornets Nest.’
  • Moron of the Moment 2021 – Karren Brady

    Moron of the Moment 2021 – Karren Brady

    Poundland muckspreader Karren Brady desperately seeks attention by bleating that men are “sexist” against her; Lady Brady brought up a story from years ago proving she has utterly nothing new to say

    “The arrogant, self-interested baroness,” “gutter gossip hack” and “all-round nasty piece of work” are just some of the descriptions that have deservedly stuck to Karren Brady (AKA The Right Honourable The Baroness Brady of Knightsbridge in the City of Westminster CBE) over the years.

     

    Also widely mocked for her links to “dildo floggers” and as “Mrs Blowjob or No Job,” Brady used her column in today’s The Sun on Sunday to yet again moan about people making “jibes” against her.

     

    Referencing an alleged incident long ago with Sky News’ football anchorman Richard Keys, Brady bleated to readers:

     

    He was later overheard talking about me when he thought the microphone was off.

     

    He said: “See charming Karren Brady this morning complaining about sexism? Yeah. Do me a favour, love.”

     

    How condescending is that? Needless to say, I have never forgotten it. And I doubt I ever will.

     

    In the case of this acid-tongued harpy, nothing other than stones and glass houses come to mind. Now, please, Karren, just do us all a favour and put a sock in it in 2021.

     

    “Overpainted Aunt Sally” Karren Brady on…

     

    Her destroyer of jobs and the high street mate ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green

    “The most dynamic, the most energetic, the most relentless business-person I have ever come across, a whirlwind of energy and ideas.”

     

    The nearly as controversial businessman Mike Ashley:

    “I feel sorry for a guy like Mike Ashley… He tried his best… I feel tremendous sympathy for Ashley.”

     

    Her “precarious work-life balance”…

    “[It’s a] balancing act… [I feel] constant guilt over being a working mother.”

     

    Her being investigated in connection with corruption in football

    “I was in a very dark place… It was gut-wrenching… I didn’t want to have to justify myself to people.”

     

    The East End of London…

    “A hotbed of racism.”

     

    Condoms in the Birmingham City boardroom…

    “I found it floating in the toilet… And it became this big whodunit. I mean, in the boardroom toilet of all places.”

     

    Her “wickedly indiscreet newspaper column”…

    “It’s what I leave out that would make your hair curl.”

     

    Unsurprisingly getting abuse given her own vile tongue…

    “The abuse I get is vile. And so much worse now than it’s ever been.”

     

    Herself

    “At 23, I had skin as thick as a rhino… I don’t have any fears.”

     

    “I dare to put my head above the parapet, to have a mind and a voice of my own and to plough my own furrow.”

     

    “[I am now] one of the most highly sought-after motivational speakers in the world.”

     

    More modest than the late Mother Theresa, one is simply left asking: “What on earth was it about the very wealthy woman Karren Brady that David Cameron saw fit to elevate her to the House of Lords?”

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

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    Moron of the Moment 2021 – Karren Brady – Poundland muckspreader Karren Brady desperately seeks attention by bleating that men are “sexist” against her; Lady Brady brought up a story from years ago proving she’s nothing new to say.
    In 2016, Duncan Bannantyne described Karren Brady as a “nasty piece of trash” and “a complete coward” after she penned a column describing him as “hilariously repulsive.” Here, this mouthy muckspreader is pictured with her disgraced bestie Sir Philip Green.
    Moron of the Moment 2021 – Karren Brady – Poundland muckspreader Karren Brady desperately seeks attention by bleating that men are “sexist” against her; Lady Brady brought up a story from years ago proving she’s nothing new to say.
    It was ludicrously announced that plain old Karren Rita Brady would be given a seat as a Conservative life peer on the House of Lords on the 8th August 2014. She had previously addressed the Conservative Party Conference in Manchester on 30th September 2013.
    Moron of the Moment 2021 – Karren Brady – Poundland muckspreader Karren Brady desperately seeks attention by bleating that men are “sexist” against her; Lady Brady brought up a story from years ago proving she’s nothing new to say.
    As this banner proves, football fans loathe her and on 6th June 2020, in yet another column in ‘The Sun on Sunday’ Karren Brady banged on about ‘missing’ Madeleine McCann before turning to sharing her bizarre belief that Big Macs are brilliant. If ever there’s been a columnist with a better ability to choose interlinking subjects, we’d argue that it was time the world was told.
  • Morons of the Moment – Keith and Catherine Larkham

    Morons of the Moment – Keith and Catherine Larkham

    Creosoted creatures turned “vexed visitors” Keith and Catherine Larkham complain to a local newspaper about the public being “murderers in the making” in a park in Lytham, Lancashire

    Wannabe otter and heron killer John Aeberhard and masturbation megaphone moaner Danny Shine were just two of the extraordinary idiots we featured from the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ in 2020, but today we’re following up with a pair of pandemic proportions.

     

    Included on the site yesterday, “David Dickinson coloured” Keith and “David Dickinson coloured” Catherine Larkham of Preston, Lancashire contacted the Lytham St Annes News to “express their disbelief” about the public “basically [becoming] murderers” by not wearing masks to walk round an outdoor area in Lytham St Annes – a Tier 3 town they travelled 20 miles to for a stroll in the middle of a pandemic.

     

    In a rambling Ronseal ripped rant, Mr and Mrs Larkham – whom have previously risked infecting others by travelling during 2020 to and from Spain – bizarrely went to extraordinary lengths to tell the paper’s ‘community contributor’:

     

    “Our stroll around Fairhaven Lake turned into an avoid everybody exercise… We could not believe what we were seeing… We just want know as we were visitors to Lytham and Fairhaven Lake at the weekend why out of literally thousands of people in and around this area, nobody and we mean nobody were [sic] wearing masks. We have endured lockdowns in Spain for weeks and months fully policed by the armed forces and successfully adhered to, but in Lytham not even a police officer anywhere to challenge all these people who are basically murderers in the making. SO PLEASE can anyone explain why??”

     

    Unsurprisingly, the reaction by members of the Facebook group to this pair of prized pillocks was anything but supportive. Equally, given wearing masks is not compulsory outdoors, Lytham St Annes News and Keith and Catherine Larkham deserve to be equally saluted for the ultimate non-news story of 2020.

     

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    Morons of the Moment – Keith and Catherine Larkham – Creosoted creatures turned “vexed visitors” Keith and Catherine Larkham complain to a local newspaper about the public being “murderers in the making” in a public park in Lytham, Lancashire.
    Morons of the Moment – Keith and Catherine Larkham – The couple’s penchant for tanning beds or sitting outside for too long on the ‘Costa Del Crime’ were widely mocked by members of the ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ Facebook group.
    Morons of the Moment – Keith and Catherine Larkham – Creosoted creatures turned “vexed visitors” Keith and Catherine Larkham complain to a local newspaper about the public being “murderers in the making” in a public park in Lytham, Lancashire.
  • Murky McCanns Yet Again Meddle

    Murky McCanns Yet Again Meddle

    Latest PR spin from anonymous “friend” of Gerry and Kate McCann is plainly simply part of yet another attempt to get more cash to top up the £12 million already wasted

    Just as ‘Operation Grange’ is no doubt about to need a further input of wonga-wonga to top up the £12 million plus pointlessly thrown at it so far, “friends” of Gerry and Kate McCann have returned to PR spinning and are now describing the investigation into Christian Brueckner to be “beyond bizarre.”

     

    Featured in the Mirror this morning, the unnamed “friend” in question claimed the McCanns cannot understand what is going on with the German suspect and anonymously remarked:

     

    “Any police force or prosecuting chief should not be boasting… but should be remaining silent as in the case of the Met Police.”

     

    “They should… not be suggesting that members of the public would be reaching the same conclusion as they do about the suspect if they knew the evidence they had. It is beyond bizarre and not very helpful to the investigation.”

     

    “If Mr Wolters [the German prosecutor] has got any significant evidence we cannot understand why the key suspect is not being questioned.”

     

    “If the prosecutors are intent that Brueckner is a genuine person of interest to be questioned and possibly charged over Madeleine’s disappearance, why has this action not been taken.”

     

    “If they think he is a red herring and had no involvement they should say so, instead of playing games, because the real culprit could be out there and escaping any scrutiny.”

     

    Responding on the Facebook group ‘The Madeleine McCann Controversy,’ one of 36,500 members, Lisa Jeynes, quite rightly remarked: “Good PR from Kate and Gerry. Or are they getting cold feet?”

     

    Plainly, as has repeatedly been suggested, Christian Brueckner is most definitely a vile man, but as of date nothing concrete has emerged linking him to the ‘disappearance’ of Madeleine McCann. Enough is enough and it is now frankly time that Scotland Yard allocated their resources to help other families in need.

     

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  • Moron of the Moment – Alexa Chung

    Moron of the Moment – Alexa Chung

    Self-declared “human” Alexa Chung’s fashion business unsurprisingly flops; the “stuck-up socialite’s” company is supposedly very deservedly “in tatters”

    Utterly boring, former presenter of the appropriately named show Big Mouth, Alexa Chung has hit the headlines yet again – and unsurprisingly given her audacity, annoyingness and arrogance, it’s very deservedly for the wrong reasons.

     

    Featured in The Sun this morning, the paper’s ‘Bizarre Column’ reporter Simon Boyle reported Chung’s company, Alpha Charlie Limited, “lost almost £2.3 million and is predicting a tough 2021.”

     

    Going further, Doyle revealed: “Shareholders had to pump in £1.7 million, then put in more money in June this year.” He then concluded:

     

    “If Alexa really had any kind of nous, she’d have cut the ridiculous costs of her lines. But alas, the stuck-up socialite believed she knew better. Yet it seems even her posh pals have snubbed her not-so-trendy designs… Don’t go into business with a pretentious model, there’s a lesson for you.”

     

    Previously this dopey drip of a designer has made headlines for claiming David and Victoria Beckham “begged” to talk to her at a party and even merged her Christian and surnames into one word, ‘ALEXACHUNG,’ to accompany her transition “from muse to founder and creative director.”

     

    Now, given nobody wants to buy your tepid tat, Miss Chung, please finally copy your Amazon namesake and “Alexa off.”

     

    Descriptions of Alexa Chung:

     

    By herself:

    • “Starlet.”
    • “Human.”
    • “Fashion brand.”
    • “Queen of Instagram.”
    • “It’s no surprise to me that I’m in this position now.”
    • “I’m driven by a desire to communicate.”
    • “I have an emotional connection with other people.”
    • “Airports are such emotionally charged places. I travel a lot, and I people-watch. And I love that British thing of wearing your holiday outfit home but with a sensible jacket because if you are British you are never not thinking about the weather.”
    • “I’m always under scrutiny – and I always feel it.”
    • “[Modelling] warped my reality.”

     

    By Lily Waddell of the Mail on Sunday:

    • “Fashion royalty.”
    • “The belle of the ball.”
    • “The biggest designer name of the moment.”
    • “A style maven.”
    • “A starlet.”
    • “A fashion genius.”

     

    By Niomi Harris of the MailOnline:

    • “Usually cuts a stylish figure at showbiz bashes.”
    • “Stunning.”
    • “Allows her dress to do the talking.”

     

    By Kayleigh Giles of the MailOnline:

    • “Sits front row at almost every major Fashion Week show.”
    • “Stylish.”
    • “Star.”

     

    By Anna Wintour:

    • “A phenomenon.”

     

    By The Sun’s Simon Boyle:

    • “Miserable, snooty model.”
    • “Galling.”
    • “Ridiculous.”
    • “Does naff all.”
    • “Stuck-up socialite.”
    • “Believes she knows better.”
    • “If Alexa really had any kind of nous, she’d have cut the ridiculous costs of her line.”
    • “Don’t go into business with a pretentious model [like Alexa Chung], there’s a lesson for you.”

     

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    In October, Alexa Chung decided to pretend she was Queen Elizabeth II. The boring 16:53-minute YouTube feature was not in the slightest amusing, but, of course, this ridiculous woman accompanied her shit-show with a vain message: “And yes, I’m 36” and an announcement that she was launching her own Spotify channel.

  • The Calamities Carrie On

    The Calamities Carrie On

    Ghislaine Maxwell was involved in the charity Carrie Symonds works for; Dominic Cummings’ nemesis also has an ex-lover with links to Russia and the far right, racist Traditional Britain Group

    When she’s not furiously texting 25 missives per hour to her lapdog on-off lover Boris Johnson or forcing him to get rid of his puppet master Dominic Cummings, Carrie Symonds finds time to be a senior advisor and member of staff at Oceana – a curiously funded operation that describes itself as “the largest international advocacy organisation focused solely on ocean conservation.”

     

    Fascinatingly, mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell also has links to Oceana and hosted a cocktail party for their benefit at her East 65th Street residence in 2008 according to The Cut even.

     

    Jailbird paedo procurer Maxwell’s interest in the oceans is well-known via her now defunct TerraMar Project – which operated with the motto: “Sea Hope. Sea Change. Sea Future” and is now being accused of allegedly being part of her and Epstein’s trafficking activities – but, today, we remind readers that the British Prime Minister’s wine chucking latest baby mama has other curious connections.

     

    In October 2019, The Steeple Times followed up on The Sun’s story of Symonds’ “emotionally charged” and “tumultuous” previous relationship with a character named Oliver Haiste and revealed his connections to a curious Russian hoax news operation and association with members of the extremely bigoted, far-right Traditional Britain Group.

     

    ‘The Lady Macbeth of Downing Street’ may well think she won against Cummings as he marched out of Downing Street Street with his box last night, but here was just the first skirmish of a battle. The true war is yet to come and whether ‘Conniving Carrie’ and her cretinous clown will still be in residence by Christmas remains to be seen. One thing’s for sure next: Red wine on the sofa at the ready, The Carrie On Show is most certainly going to most unpleasantly kick off very, very soon.

     

    Pictured top: Ghislaine Maxwell supporting Oceana in 2008; Carrie Symonds – the very same organisation’s employee in 2020.

     

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    The Calamities Carrie On – Carrie Symonds & Ghislaine Maxwell – Ghislaine Maxwell was involved in the charity Carrie Symonds works for; Dominic Cummings’ nemesis also has an ex-lover named Oliver Haiste (also spelt ‘Haste’) with links to Russia and the far right, racist Traditional Britain Group.
    The Calamities Carrie On – The Prime Minister’s on-off spouse Carrie Symonds’ biography on the Oceana website.
    The Calamities Carrie On – Carrie Symonds & Ghislaine Maxwell – Ghislaine Maxwell was involved in the charity Carrie Symonds works for; Dominic Cummings’ nemesis also has an ex-lover named Oliver Haiste (also spelt ‘Haste’) with links to Russia and the far right, racist Traditional Britain Group.
    The Calamities Carrie On – The Traditional Britain Group, of which the preposterously named convicted thief Gregory Lauder-Frost is vice president, itself is opposed to feminism. It also believes in “the heterosexual family” but is against “immigration and multiculturalism” as well as “internationalism… globalisation… communism… socialism… liberalism… anarchism… political correctness… the purely materialist conception of life… [and] all the great heresies of our age.” Repugnant Lauder-Frost once disgustingly referred to Baroness Lawrence, mother of the murdered teenager Stephen Lawrence, as “a complete nobody” and once demanded “people not of ‘European stock’ should be offered ‘assisted voluntary repatriation’ to their ‘natural’ homeland.”
    The Calamities Carrie On – Henry Hopwood-Phillips, when not attempting but failing to create hoax Russian news sites with Carrie Symonds’ ex Oliver Haiste (sometimes spelt ‘Haste’), spends time getting involved with the bigoted Traditional Britain Group and making bizarre music videos on YouTube. He charmingly also stands accused of flashing his “tumescent member” by a blogger named Claire Khaw.
  • Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office

    Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office

    Range Rover developed by Land Rover in conjunction with ‘Mr Blobby’ sidekick Noel Edmonds as a ‘mobile office’ at the incredulous price of £450,000 to be auctioned for a knockdown price of just £15,000

    A once most expensive ‘mobile office’ on the road is to be sold for next to nothing today when Silverstone Auctions will offer a totally though unsurprisingly unique Range Rover for a sum 96% lower than it cost to produce at their NEC Classic online auction.

    The 1997 Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) “bespoke project” was originally developed as a “mobile office” concept in conjunction with the television presenter and spiritually wacky Noel Edmonds’ Unique Group.

    Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office – £450k Range Rover for sale for £15k – 1997 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Autobiography, LP or P38A by Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) and the Unique Group, registration P880 KAC developed by Land Rover in conjunction with ‘Mr Blobby’ sidekick Noel Edmonds as a ‘mobile office’ at the incredulous price of £450,000 to be auctioned for just £15,000 to £18,000 by Silverstone Auctions at their 14th November 2020 NEC Classic online auction.
    Noel Edmonds is best known for his partnership with the character Mr Blobby from November 1992 onwards. Subsequently, more recently, his decision to share strange, David Icke-esque views and disputes with financiers have been what gain him more column inches.

    Used initially as a pilot test and PR showcase by Cellnet, Land Rover and Sony, the car came with every imaginable piece of technology of the time. Here was a 4×4 not intended for taking its owner to his butt on the grouse moor, but more a bizarre kind of business space which even Warren Buffett might have found over the top.

     

    Amongst technology crammed into the consequently weighty motor are a phone system with three telephone handsets, a fax machine, a HP printer, various laptops, a Sony VHS system, voice recognition software, web cams, a black box video recorder and Sony infrared headphones. As a result, according to an interview with the then owner in 2018, the Range Rover manages a very unimpressive 8 miles per gallon.

     

    Noel Edmond’s chubby mate, Mr Blobby, is unlikely to have ever ridden in this ‘mobile office’ given there’d barely be space for his posterior, but one thing’s for certain: This must number amongst the fastest depreciating cars in history and it is certainly not surprising that its production run never expanded beyond one-of-one.

     

    The Names & Numbers – 1997 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Autobiography, LP or P38A by Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) and the Unique Group, registration P880 KAC

     

    14th November 2020 – To be auctioned by Silverstone Auctions with an estimate of £15,000 to £18,000 ($19,800 to $23,800, €16,700 to €20,100 or درهم72,700 to درهم87,200).

     

    2020 – Offered for sale on website AutoVolo for £24,995 ($33,000, €28,000 or درهم121,000) with 86,000 miles on the clock.

     

    2018 – Sold via eBay to Jaguar Land Rover employee Nav Singh Rai for “just under” £8,000 ($10,600, €8,900 or درهم38,800) with 81,000 miles on the clock. It featured in Drivers Insight magazine in October that year and in Land Rover Monthly in August 2019.

     

    January 2012 – Offered for sale by Coys with an estimate of £25,000 to £35,000 ($33,000 to $46,000, €28,000 to €39,000 or درهم121,000 to درهم170,000)

     

    2001 – Sold by Noel Edmonds.

     

    1997 – Cost of development estimated at £450,000 ($594,000, €502,000 or درهم2.2 million) and technology was supplied by Noel Edmonds’ Unique Group. The ‘mobile office’ Range Rover was used subsequently sold to Noel Edmonds after being used for PR purposes by Cellnet, Land Rover and Sony – supposedly to avoid it being scrapped.

     

    Pictured top: Noel Edmonds with the car (date unknown).

     

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    Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office – £450k Range Rover for sale for £15k – 1997 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Autobiography, LP or P38A by Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) and the Unique Group, registration P880 KAC developed by Land Rover in conjunction with ‘Mr Blobby’ sidekick Noel Edmonds as a ‘mobile office’ at the incredulous price of £450,000 to be auctioned for just £15,000 to £18,000 by Silverstone Auctions at their 14th November 2020 NEC Classic online auction.
    A recent image of the car. It is described as “coming to auction needing a little love and attention.”
    Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office – £450k Range Rover for sale for £15k – 1997 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Autobiography, LP or P38A by Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) and the Unique Group, registration P880 KAC developed by Land Rover in conjunction with ‘Mr Blobby’ sidekick Noel Edmonds as a ‘mobile office’ at the incredulous price of £450,000 to be auctioned for just £15,000 to £18,000 by Silverstone Auctions at their 14th November 2020 NEC Classic online auction.
    The rear passenger space is primarily dominated by office equipment.
    Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office – £450k Range Rover for sale for £15k – 1997 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Autobiography, LP or P38A by Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) and the Unique Group, registration P880 KAC developed by Land Rover in conjunction with ‘Mr Blobby’ sidekick Noel Edmonds as a ‘mobile office’ at the incredulous price of £450,000 to be auctioned for just £15,000 to £18,000 by Silverstone Auctions at their 14th November 2020 NEC Classic online auction.
    A bulky computer certainly absorbs a lot of space.
    Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office – £450k Range Rover for sale for £15k – 1997 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Autobiography, LP or P38A by Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) and the Unique Group, registration P880 KAC developed by Land Rover in conjunction with ‘Mr Blobby’ sidekick Noel Edmonds as a ‘mobile office’ at the incredulous price of £450,000 to be auctioned for just £15,000 to £18,000 by Silverstone Auctions at their 14th November 2020 NEC Classic online auction.
    The car offers plenty of options to watch Noel Edmonds on its screens.
    Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office – £450k Range Rover for sale for £15k – 1997 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Autobiography, LP or P38A by Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) and the Unique Group, registration P880 KAC developed by Land Rover in conjunction with ‘Mr Blobby’ sidekick Noel Edmonds as a ‘mobile office’ at the incredulous price of £450,000 to be auctioned for just £15,000 to £18,000 by Silverstone Auctions at their 14th November 2020 NEC Classic online auction.
    The driver gets plenty to play with also.
    Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office – £450k Range Rover for sale for £15k – 1997 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Autobiography, LP or P38A by Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) and the Unique Group, registration P880 KAC developed by Land Rover in conjunction with ‘Mr Blobby’ sidekick Noel Edmonds as a ‘mobile office’ at the incredulous price of £450,000 to be auctioned for just £15,000 to £18,000 by Silverstone Auctions at their 14th November 2020 NEC Classic online auction.
    There’s a load more (out-of-date) technology in the front.
    Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office – £450k Range Rover for sale for £15k – 1997 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Autobiography, LP or P38A by Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) and the Unique Group, registration P880 KAC developed by Land Rover in conjunction with ‘Mr Blobby’ sidekick Noel Edmonds as a ‘mobile office’ at the incredulous price of £450,000 to be auctioned for just £15,000 to £18,000 by Silverstone Auctions at their 14th November 2020 NEC Classic online auction.
    And the boot most certainly must contain a fair amount of wiring also.
    Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office – £450k Range Rover for sale for £15k – 1997 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Autobiography, LP or P38A by Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) and the Unique Group, registration P880 KAC developed by Land Rover in conjunction with ‘Mr Blobby’ sidekick Noel Edmonds as a ‘mobile office’ at the incredulous price of £450,000 to be auctioned for just £15,000 to £18,000 by Silverstone Auctions at their 14th November 2020 NEC Classic online auction.
    Mr Edmonds plainly wanted to advertise his love of the word “unique” on a car he eventually bought to save from the scrapyard.
    Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office – £450k Range Rover for sale for £15k – 1997 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Autobiography, LP or P38A by Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) and the Unique Group, registration P880 KAC developed by Land Rover in conjunction with ‘Mr Blobby’ sidekick Noel Edmonds as a ‘mobile office’ at the incredulous price of £450,000 to be auctioned for just £15,000 to £18,000 by Silverstone Auctions at their 14th November 2020 NEC Classic online auction.
    The engine of the ‘mobile office,’ however, is still pretty standard.
    Noel’s Blobby Mobile Office – £450k Range Rover for sale for £15k – 1997 Land Rover Range Rover HSE Autobiography, LP or P38A by Land Rover Special Vehicle Operations (LR-SVO) and the Unique Group, registration P880 KAC developed by Land Rover in conjunction with ‘Mr Blobby’ sidekick Noel Edmonds as a ‘mobile office’ at the incredulous price of £450,000 to be auctioned for just £15,000 to £18,000 by Silverstone Auctions at their 14th November 2020 NEC Classic online auction.
    The car has featured in various magazine articles; in this one its owner was deservedly described as “special.”