Creosoted creatures turned “vexed visitors” Keith and Catherine Larkham complain to a local newspaper about the public being “murderers in the making” in a park in Lytham, Lancashire
Wannabe otter and heron killer John Aeberhard and masturbation megaphone moaner Danny Shine were just two of the extraordinary idiots we featured from the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ in 2020, but today we’re following up with a pair of pandemic proportions.
Included on the site yesterday, “David Dickinson coloured” Keith and “David Dickinson coloured” Catherine Larkham of Preston, Lancashire contacted the Lytham St Annes News to “express their disbelief” about the public “basically [becoming] murderers” by not wearing masks to walk round an outdoor area in Lytham St Annes – a Tier 3 town they travelled 20 miles to for a stroll in the middle of a pandemic.
In a rambling Ronseal ripped rant, Mr and Mrs Larkham – whom have previously risked infecting others by travelling during 2020 to and from Spain – bizarrely went to extraordinary lengths to tell the paper’s ‘community contributor’:
“Our stroll around Fairhaven Lake turned into an avoid everybody exercise… We could not believe what we were seeing… We just want know as we were visitors to Lytham and Fairhaven Lake at the weekend why out of literally thousands of people in and around this area, nobody and we mean nobody were [sic] wearing masks. We have endured lockdowns in Spain for weeks and months fully policed by the armed forces and successfully adhered to, but in Lytham not even a police officer anywhere to challenge all these people who are basically murderers in the making. SO PLEASE can anyone explain why??”
Unsurprisingly, the reaction by members of the Facebook group to this pair of prized pillocks was anything but supportive. Equally, given wearing masks is not compulsory outdoors, Lytham St Annes News and Keith and Catherine Larkham deserve to be equally saluted for the ultimate non-news story of 2020.