Tuesday, September 12, 2023

Poundland Pinching Pincher – “Arse Squeezing” Tory Terror Chris Pincher MP Must Be Punched Out

Grubby groper Chris Pincher MP must now be thrown out of Parliament unceremoniously; this filthy disgrace should be chucked off the terrace and into the Thames along with the rest of the raging sex pests amongst his creepiest of colleagues

“Pincher by name and a pincher by nature” and “a pound shop Harvey Weinstein” are just two of the appropriately noxious nicknames attributed by former Conservative colleagues to the slammed as “shocking by any standards” The Right Honourable Chris Pincher MP.


The “full on grope” loving Member of Parliament for Tamworth “brought the House into disrepute” and most worthily was given an eight-week suspension after being condemned by the Standards Committee for doing “significant” damage to public life. The now former Prime Minister Boris Johnson had first been made aware of “alleged misconduct” about Pincher in 2017, yet chose to completely ignore this in the subsequent five years and in subsequent Cabinet level appointments.


Referencing 53-year-old, Walsall born Pincher’s filthy antics at the once tony Carlton Club in London on 29th June 2022 – which included what one victim referenced as “squeezing [his] arse” and “kind of grabbing where [his] testicles [were]” and “squeezing” – the Commissioner raged:


“[It is a matter] of fact [that] Mr Pincher groped two individuals.”


“Mr Pincher touched the first individual (the complainant) on his arm and neck, before groping his bottom. Mr Pincher groped the second person on his bottom and then groped his testicles (Witness 3).”


“The damage that has been caused to the reputation and integrity of the House and its Members cannot be described as trivial, unnoteworthy, or not important to address.”


“The damage is significant. It involves behaviour that by any standards was shocking, deeply inappropriate, and adversely impacted two unsuspecting individuals who had no expectation that they would be subjected to such behaviour.”


“Further, it was conduct that risks advancing a misplaced public perception that Members of Parliament do not have to abide by normal standards of behaviour and can commit acts of misconduct with impunity.”


Given that any suspension over 10 days is likely to generate a recall petition, this morning Sky News’s Tamara Cohen suggested:


“I think a by-election is very likely [in Tamworth]… This could be a fifth one for Rishi Sunak.”


It is unknown as to whether Mr Pincher remains a member of the Carlton Club or whether he was expelled, but equally it should now be enquired as to if, and if not why, the Metropolitan Police have taken actions against him. Given creepy actor Kevin Spacey’s current trial involves similar allegations, if they don’t, this sordid saga could pile further disgrace on the police formerly headed by Dame Cressida Dick.


Elsewhere on social media, The Steeple Times’s Matthew Steeples conducted a poll (see below) and added:


“Given there are over 50 individual cases of MPs accused of sexual misconduct out of the 650 MPs currently in the House of Commons, if this mucky matter isn’t dealt with at a higher level, public confidence in Parliament will fall only further. How on earth can the public trust Members of Parliament to represent us, when so many of them cannot help but keep their filthy hands off members of that very same public?”


Editor’s note – Unlike as is the case in many publications, this article was NOT sponsored or supported by a third-party. Follow Matthew Steeples on Twitter at @M_Steeples.


Pictured top – The bottom and testicle pinching MP with the man whose career he helped end, the former Prime Minister and father-of-children-number-of-unknown Boris Johnson.


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This morning on Twitter, Matthew Steeples asked: “Is alleged bottom pincher Chris Pincher MP going to pay the price of his alleged bottom pinching by losing his currently Conservatives held seat?” By 11:30am on Thursday 6th July 2023, the majority of respondents favoured the answers: “Yes; definitely deserved” and “Yes; and put him in the stocks.”

Other Tory twerps who’ll go down in history as ‘Sex Pests’ (at the very least)…

Now ex-MP Neil Parish will forever just be remembered at for watching ‘tractor porn’ whilst sitting in the Chamber of the House of Commons. This creepy farmer turned Tory will go down in history as a grubby, skid-mark on parliamentary history. Mr Parish laughably claimed later that what he had done was “very immoral” but not illegal; he argued that he’d actually been looking at Class Dominator tractors, a brand of combine harvesters.
Another person who thought she could make the House of Commons a “sexual area” was Sally Bercow, the wife of the now former Speaker, John Bercow. She is pictured here in their home within the Palace of Westminster clad in nothing but a sheet. That she went on to have an affair with her own husband’s cousin, Alan Bercow, about says all that needs to be said.
In April 2022, the Conservative MP for Somerton and Frome, David Warburton, was accused of sexually harassing three women. He was subsequently admitted to a psychiatric hospital, pictured in a photograph with lines of what looked like cocaine and was also revealed to have taken a loan of £150,000 from a Russian businessman through a Seychelles company without declaring it. This member of Mensa was subsequently suspended from the Tories awaiting the outcome of an Independent Complaints and Grievance Scheme (ICGS) investigation into allegations of harassment and drug abuse.
Another decidedly dodgy MP still in the House of Commons is Rob Roberts. The Member for Delyn “acted inappropriately after he sought to engage in a relationship with a male member of his staff,” according to a report in May 2021. This former “financial planner” was elected as a Conservative, but still shockingly sits as an independent to this day, but has now “separated” from his wife Alexandra Roberts supposedly.
In April 2022, Tory MP Imran Ahmad Khan was jailed for groping a 15-year-old boy in 2008. He was expelled from the Conservative Party and resigned as an MP. He subsequently appealed, but failed to convince anyone that he was anything but a nonce in December 2022.
The ultimate examples in Tory sex pest scum are Charlie Elphicke – a now convicted, ex-MP and sex offender – and his wicked, immigrant hating scumbag wife, Natalie Elphicke. That the Conservatives gave this woman her criminal husband’s seat to make her own speaks volumes as to how the once great political party of Margaret Thatcher feels about making monsters pay for sex crimes.
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. Thank you for the reminder. I often forget how murky the Palace of Westminster can be outside of the politics. I had no idea that Sally Bercow had an affair with her husband’s cousin. Of course she did not represent constituents but had access to public money to enjoy the grander things in life.


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