Friday, April 26, 2024
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Telly Box Twerps

Mother of God! Omid Scobie’s Headed Down The Nick

Mother of God! Law firm give notice that the Duchess of Sussex’s pugnacious PR peddler Omid Scobie has been sent a cease and desist letter and reported to the Metropolitan Police regarding “the harassment, threats and stalking of Sadie Quinlan.”

The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe

ITV1’s ‘The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe’ is a must watch; it recasts the narrative of the 2002 disappearance of John Darwin and shows his wife as an under the thumb woman manipulated into fraud – just as said 71-year-old fraudster has supposedly headed off to Ukraine to fight.

It’s NOT “Duchess Meghan”

In constantly referencing the Duchess of Sussex as “Duchess Meghan,” PR peddler and arse-licker Omid Scobie proves himself anything but an expert on royalty, titles, honours and protocol.

Feckless Farting Fergie’s Flatulent Failings

That taker of loans from paedophiles and reader of books about farting Sarah, Duchess of York thinks she can get away with keeping £225,000 in tainted cash shows her yet again as nothing but a total berk.

Funding A Fool

That the fool Prince Andrew and his feckless live-in ex-wife were prepared to accept £1.3 million from a Turkish conman illustrates how low their moral compasses truly are.

Moron of the Moment 2022 – Richard Madeley

The unwanted gift that keeps on giving Richard Madeley, as is always to be expected, sticks his cloven hooves in the proverbial yet again after asking guest to “define what a woman is” and suggesting Will Smith had “a moment of flawed humanity.”

Bring Back ‘Yankee Wally’ – The Duchess of Sussex’s nemesis should NOT be cancelled

Matthew Steeples slams the vindictive campaign against YouTube sensation Sadie Quinlan – known as ‘Yankee Wally’ – by the mendacious ‘Sussex Squad’ groupies led by PR peddlers Omid Scobie and Christopher Bouzy and helped along by a bashful ‘BuzzFeed News’ busybody named Ellie Hall.

Facts & Feckless Fergie

As birdbrained Sarah, Duchess of York goes on a moneymaking tour in America, this debtor to croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s tweet about her thoughts on “facts” come back to bite her in her not so regal arse.

“Wild Times” With ‘Randy Andy’

As Prince Andrew’s notches on the bedpost non-counter Michael Wynne-Parker talks of their “wild times” bedding birds, we suggest the randy royal might do better to silence his chirping chums including ‘Lady Herpes’ also.

From ‘TwIt Girl’ to ‘InstaIdiot’ – Lady Victoria Hervey

Dumber than dumb non-entity Lady Victoria Hervey morphs from ‘TwIt Girl’ to ‘InstaIdiot’ in a series of Instagram posts about her mucky madam mate Ghislaine Maxwell; she charmingly labels one victim she doesn’t even know a “complete whore” and another she claims to actually know a “drug addict slut and a f*ck up.”

Curtains For Randy Andy

As a former Buckingham Palace employee reveals that “spoilt” Prince Andrew made her run up four flights of stairs to shut his curtains whilst he sat next to them, we suggest it’s now curtains for him.

Not So Social Randy Andy

As Prince Andrew loses yet more responsibilities, quits social media and plunges deeper into debt, we suggest he turns to one of his last remaining chums, the notoriously noxious skinflint Bernie Ecclestone.

Moron of the Moment 2022 – Lady Victoria Hervey

Lady Victoria Hervey’s latest airing to share irrelevant claims about Ghislaine Maxwell simply show her lack of connection with the real story; this tedious twerp ought to now learn the art of silence.

Buffoon Boris & Rotten Randy… Get A Room!

The blithering buffoon that is Boris Johnson and the randy rotter that is Prince Andrew should do the decent thing… Disappear from public view forever and get a room together with their weird wack job wives.

Friendless Fergie

Simpleton Sarah, Duchess of York “pauses” her unsurprisingly unpopular ‘Fergie & Friends’ YouTube channel as her increasingly friendless husband continues to face sexual assault allegations in New York.

Poundland MeGain – Duchess of Sussex Goes Bananas

In spite of her victory over ‘The Mail on Sunday’ all the Duchess of Sussex will be able to do with her winnings is afford a trip to Poundland; £1 ‘MeGain’ better now also watch out for metaphorical banana skins.

Moron of the Moment – Amanda Platell

Paedophile and sex offender apologist Amanda Platell’s claims that the BBC “conned” her into an interview about the royals are beyond laughable.

Pointless Madeley

Richard Madeley admits his career to have been “pretty pointless” yet claims being compared to Alan Partridge is “unfair.”

Busy MeGain

Duchess of Sussex claims to be “too busy” to see the Queen at Christmas just as she’s advised to drop case against ‘Mail on Sunday’ after “forgetting” various email exchanges.

Maxed-Out Murky Meg

Maxed-out Duchess of Sussex provides proof that greed ain’t really that good and in telling “untruths” about THAT letter illustrates how warped her moral compass truly is.

Moneybags Madeley’s £500k Pay Day

Alleged shoplifter turned moneybags man Richard Madeley can certainly now afford to actually pay for Krug champagne after landing a £500k pay day with ITV.

Duchess of Pork Puts A Pig Up Her Nose

Sarah Ferguson – better known as the Duchess of Pork – makes a prat of herself trying to stick a pig up her nose, but still has failed to confirm whether she repaid the loan she took from the croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.