Sanity reigns as creepy Christian crooner Sir Cliff Richard announces “he would no longer be able to pose topless” and will thankfully keep his kit on instead
During an especially soppy saga in April 2020 in which Sir Cliff Richard OBE got hot and bothered about radio stations being “unfair” and “snubbing” his crappy crooning, this Christian crackpot demanded his tiresome tunes be played “once a day for two weeks.” Quite understandably, he didn’t get what he wanted.
In response, at that time, the response to the “held together by Botox” ‘singer’ from one commentator was: “I’m surprised he isn’t like his music – dead already” and now, this morning, The Guardian are finally reporting some better news about this bombastic bore.
In a report that primarily focused on the self-declared “genuine celebrity” 81-year-old having sold more 2022 music calendars than Harry Styles, Kylie Minogue, Little Mix and Taylor Swift, but actually “slipped” from seventh place in overall sales to eleventh in the Calendar Club charts, it was also revealed that “Sir Cliff had informed potential buyers that he would no longer be able to pose topless for calendars.” One immediate response was simply: “Thank bloody God, our eyes are saved.”
Doing one last distasteful turn with little-to-nothing on in his 2022 “offering,” according to the paper, the August shot features Sir Cliff “in only swimming trunks while raising a glass to the camera from the comfort of a swimming pool.” Thankfully, if he sticks to his word, there’ll be no more of that muck in the 2023 edition, though with printed calendar sales slumping just like those of printed diaries, will it even get produced?
Such news has no doubt left Sir Cliff – a wack job warbler perceived to be a “national treasure” by some but loathed by others for his connections to criminals like the late murderer Kray twins, the late paedophile Lord Boothy, the late paedophile Sir Jimmy Savile and the amazingly still just about alive paedophile Rolf Harris – with only one option: Taking a very long summer holiday and returning to creepily crying on his kitchen floor.
Pictured top: Sir Cliff Richard OBE – a moralising moaning Minnie who’ll henceforth thankfully keep his kit on – with his Australian child abuser ‘friend,’ the convicted paedophile Rolf Harris.
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.
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