The tedious twerp formerly known as Meghan Markle has had her maiden name turned into both a verb and a noun – go get ‘Meghan Markled’
Last week, both the Guardian and The Sun revealed a note of amusement in the context of the otherwise tedious familial feud between the devious Duchess of Sussex and her fobbed-off father in sharing that the walk-away royal has had her maiden name turned into a verb.
Whilst The Sun predictably mocked this trivial story at a time of a lack of news other than coronavirus, the Guardian’s “social justice” focused columnist Poppy Noor unsurprisingly lauded “to Meghan Markle” – or as she somewhat soppily put it, “to get the hell out [when] love is not returned.”
Noor went further and, in a decidedly ‘woke’ fashion, added of the Duchess of Sussex’s decision to head off to the land of profit in LA: “You could understand why Meghan Markle, who opted out of royalty this month after a year of being hounded and vilified by a racist, rightwing press could be referred to in some circles as the patron saint of good mental health” and shared a definition
“Meghan Markle, a verb, past tense – Meghan Markled: to value yourself and your mental health enough to up and leave a room/ situation/ environment in which your authentic self is not welcomed or wanted.”
Elsewhere previously, in January 2018, the Urban Dictionary took another view on what being ‘Meghan Markle’ and being ‘Meghan Markled’ means. They suggested it to be a “noun for coming up nicely despite your family’s socio-economic status.”
Putting it in context, they gave an example:
“A: I wonder how Lisa is doing. I haven’t spoken to her since her family drama situation. Poor thing.”
“B: Girl, she’s engaged to a Russian billionaire now. She Meghan Markle’d her way to the top!”
We’ll leave it to you, good readers, to decide which you prefer, but one thing’s for sure the saga of the attention obsessed ‘Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ and her row with the media: It isn’t going to end any time soon.
Word of the Week 2021 – ‘Meghan Markled’ – The Duchess of Sussex has most definitely ‘Meghan Markled’ her way to the top and, along with her drip of a husband, is cashing in with huge payments from projects with Apple, Disney, Netflix and Spotify amongst other things.
Currently facing charges after being arrested for disgustingly covertly recording himself having sex with Love Island’s Georgia Harrison, this “small-fry star” and “clear wrong-un” (whose “official calendar” was nearly as unpopular as Sir Cliff Richard’s) was pictured breaking quarantine rules after claiming “rules don’t apply to me” in an article by Stephanie Soteriou.
Prone to wearing garments that feature nasty notes such as: “Bitch better have my money,” brain dead Bear – a maskless man plainly “prepared for warmer climates as he donned a pair of sunglasses” as he paid for petrol at a Morrisons – tediously told the paper: “I am God… I have super human powers and I am part of the Illuminati.”
Bear, unsurprisingly, is a moron and he’s got previous. In March 2018, burger brand Rustlers issued a statement describing why they’d chosen to end their ‘relationship’ with him. It read:
“Last month we chose to cancel a campaign featuring Stephen Bear after several unsuitable images of Stephen feeding tigers at a temple in Thailand appeared on social media last month. He has been paid appropriately under the terms of our cancelled agreement with him, and no other payment is due.”
“You are a f**king disgrace and I hope you are never, ever, EVER allowed another animal in your company. You did not deserve a dog, you were using him as a prop for Instagram from the moment you got him… And you think having his name tattooed on your neck makes you owner of the year?”
Wastrel wazzock Stephen Bear’s ‘finest’ quotes:
On why he shouldn’t have to pay attention to lockdown rules:
“I am God. Rules do not apply to me. I have super human powers and I am part of the Illuminati.”
“Everyone else should stay at home and not go M&S and buy some food. They should sit at home and starve.”
About those he “claimed” owed him money:
“Yeah, so this one’s called the Monday rant. I’m owed a lot of money from three different people. First one is Rustlers, where’s my £3,000 you owe me? It’s been five months.”
“Second one, Good For Nothing, you owe me 16 grand, my contract isn’t finished until April, you owe me £16,000. Where is it?”
“And the third one is for you Charlotte, listen, reply back to the emails. I haven’t received 1p from the business which I started with my money. Okay?”
“Tell your dad to reply to the f**king emails, do you understand? Make sure he gets back to him because what’s going on at the minute is b******s and it’s embarrassing.
“Do you understand? Because I’ve had enough now. That’s the Monday rant over, I want all my f**king money from all three of you, do you understand?”
“I’m here to find someone new… Are all your minges shaved? I’m just saying, clean nails, clean minges.”
On being arrested for “on suspicion of disclosing private sexual photographs or films without consent with intent to cause distress, harassment, and obstructing a police officer”:
“Where do I f**king start? I’m back from Dubai and I’ve actually got a criminal case of my head.”
“While I was in the police cell they have gone into my house, smashed open the door. I’ve had to get everything fixed – they’ve busted my front gate too.”
“Obstructing a police officer. What do you reckon I did? Do you reckon I got in his way? I think voyeurism because I’ve been to Dubai and I’ve gone on a voyage.”
Moron of the Moment 2021 – Stephen Bear – This vacuous and vain prat should be sent to social media Siberia. In fact, Siberia is probably too good for this drip.Moron of the Moment 2021 – Stephen Bear – Here is someone plainly desperate for attention. Any kind of attention will, in fact, do. Next!
Odds of Donald Trump pardoning mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell move to 50/1 from 3/1 earlier just as Joe Exotic’s supporters start planning a “pizza party” for him
Whilst yesterday, Sports Betting Dime were reporting that the odds of Ghislaine Maxwell getting a pardon before the 45th POTUS departs tomorrow had moved to 50/1 from 3/1 in December, this morning the author Kirby Sommers tweeted to the contrary and suggested: “Trump would be very inclined to pardon Maxwell even without a bribe.”
With other Twitter users echoing that sentiment of it being “highly likely for her to be freed” because “she has the Epstein money and the secrets” and her “being the worst one on the list [of 100 likely pardons] 100%,” the true prospect of Maxwell joining another possible recipient, Joe Exotic, for a “huge party… with pizza, steak and a McRib from McDonald’s” tomorrow however, does now actually seem as far-fetched as Madeleine McCann riding in on Shergar the racehorse.
Indeed, stranger things have happened, but we’d argue that even Trump – a deranged dope with plenty of problems of his own to face once he’s out of the safe confines of the White House, financial, legal and there otherwise – will pass on “going out with a bang” in spite of his previous “good wishes” to ‘Grubby Ghislaine.’ If that proves to be the case, it’ll be about the only decent decision he makes before leaving office.
Elsewhere, today at 10am EST (3pm GMT), Loretta A. Preska, Senior United States District Judge in the Southern District of New York Court, will consider unsealing further documents in the case of Virginia L. Giuffre v Ghislaine Maxwell. That matter has yet to attract much mainstream media attention, but boy could that actually be the dynamite that ‘Mucky Maxwell’s’ lackey Brian Basham might wish to not having to peddle his paws around.
To follow and support the work of Kirby Sommers on Patreon, click here.
Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Donald Trump’s friendship with both Jeffrey Epstein and his mendacious madam Ghislaine Maxwell is well documented. Here, the 45th President of the United States of America is pictured with the croaked paedophile and his very own children.Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Widely acclaimed author and sex slave survivor Kirby Sommers has tweeted extensively about the likelihood of Donald Trump pardoning Ghislaine Maxwell in recent days.Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Twitter users remain convinced in the main that Ghislaine Maxwell WILL get a pardon from Donald Trump.Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – ‘Miami Herald’ investigative journalist and author of a soon-to-be-published HarperCollins book about Jeffrey Epstein Julie K. Brown went further and suggested of the chance of a pardon for Robert Maxwell’s degenerate daughter: “After the past two weeks, nothing seems impossible.”Ghislaine Maxwell Goes 50/1 – Twitter user Derek MacEwen asked: “Who will be first to be pardoned – Ghislaine Maxwell or Joe Exotic?” Yesterday, the DailyMail.com reported that “Joe Exotic’s camp is preparing for a possible pardon” and claimed they “already have a limousine parked about half a mile from the prison.” No mention was made of any such vehicle being stationed ready to whisk Ghislaine Maxwell away from the notoriously “hellish” Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn.Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Yesterday, Ghislaine Maxwell’s accuser Virginia Giuffre announced she’d be taking a break from Twitter after revelations that representatives for Prince Andrew and Sarah, Duchess of York had been approaching a troll named Molly Skye Brown – a woman who has also trolled both Kirby Sommers and ‘The Steeple Times’ amongst others.Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – Today marks another major stage in the court case of Virginia L. Giuffre v Ghislaine Maxwell with a conference call to decide whether further documents will be unsealed.
Ghislaine Goes 50/1 – On the 15th January on YouTube, Shaun Attwood shared further news about the Epstein-Maxwell saga and reported on a new lawsuit being launched against the dastardly duo’s associate Leslie Wexner.
Tea leaf Theresa May lookalike goes on the rampage in Hereford and robs a purse; at least she didn’t grab ‘The Donald’s’ hand this time round (or have to share a curry with rotten paedo Rolf Harris)
Featured in the Mirror this morning, it transpires it’s actually not the real Theresa May who has been on the rob in Whitecross Road, Hereford, but in fact just a body double of the ‘Boys Jobs and Girls Jobs’ loving ex-Prime Minister.
According to the paper, “cops are searching for a grey-haired ‘Theresa May lookalike’ after a woman’s purse was taken from a shop” on 11th December 2020. Going further, they added:
“The force released a CCTV image of a middle aged-looking woman wearing a red jacket similar to the one regularly donned by the ex-Prime Minister.”
“Web users were quick to point out the ‘striking resemblance’ to the current Tory MP for Maidenhead after police began circulating the photo.”
Elsewhere, LADbible reported the story had gone viral on social media with one user commenting:
“Looks like Theresa May fell on tough times after the Brexit fallout.”
Another added:
“Oh Theresa, surely times aren’t that hard. I’m sure Boris and his chums would lend you a fiver.”
Theresa The Tea Leaf – This purse stealer was widely described as a “Theresa May lookalike” after West Mercia Police released a CCTV image of her following a theft inside a Hereford store at around 10.30am on 11th December 2020. Of the theft a spokesperson for the force stated: “It is believed another woman put a newspaper on top of the wallet and then took both the paper and wallet. She then left the shop.”Theresa The Leaf – Lady May MP, herself, is often to be found dining with her ‘Garden Gnome-like’ hubby Sir Philip in Malik’s Tandoori House in Cookham, Berkshire. Here, the owner, is pictured serving her and also posing with another regular, her constituent and convicted paedophile Rolf Harris and his wicked wife Alwyn Hughes.
Grimsby resident takes with good humour someone attaching an Argos sign to his house on New Year’s Day whilst journalist reporting story of it goes all Miss Marple
“I think if people were all a bit more like Andy, there would be no wars” remarked one Nick Kay on the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ of a story about an Argos sign “taking a tour of Grimsby before ending up attached” to the house of someone named Andy.
According to the paper’s Gregory Ford, a journalist with plainly a hell of a lot of other subject matter to sift through as he moves into 2021, “[the sign] first took a stop at the town hall a few yards away” and appeared the next day “at an address in West Marsh where it appeared to have been attached to the side of a house.”
Ford – a man who makes Miss Marple looks like an amateur – continued:
“GrimsbyLive finally caught up with the wandering logo at around 1pm where it was found still attached to the side of a property on Haycroft Street near the junction with Lord Street.”
Speaking to the “resident at the property,” a man whose surname he neglected to include named ‘Andy’ subsequently, Ford gained the following surprisingly witty comment:
“I think someone has put it here as a bit of a joke, we have some banter with the neighbours, one of my friends sent me a video of someone attaching it to the house last night.”
“I’ve got no idea how they got it down or if they were even the ones that took it off the wall in the first place to be honest.”
“I’m keeping it up though I think, it is a bit funny isn’t it? I might just treat it as a bit of a late Christmas present, I’ll have to set up my own click and collect.”
Predictably members of the Facebook ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ had fun with the story with one declaring: “Bet Visit Grimsby are pissing themselves over this free advertising.”Another added: “They’ll put a pick-up point anywhere these days” whilst another mocked: “I saw Argos tour in the 80s, before they sold out.”Andy from Argos’ sign is about its only highlight – Grimsby (a grim town whose residents are nicknamed ‘Grimbarians’) is the place Theresa May chose to give her final speech prior to the final vote on her ultimately rejected Brexit deal in 2019 in a hangar for housing life vests (rather appropriately); ditch loving murderess Jane Andrews (pictured with her former boss Sarah Ferguson) grew up in Grimsby and as of November was a Morrisons shelf-stacker in the town; chancellor “best known for singing in the bathtub as the economy collapsed” Norman Lamont was brought up there too and in 1974, Sir Elton even decided to sing about the accursed place. Now, in 2021, it doesn’t even have an Argos.
Whilst Elton John waxed lyrical about Grimsby in his song – with lines including “there’s nothing to compare with my Grimsby,” “Grimsby, oh, a thousand delights” and “I miss your magic charm” – one visitor remarked of it: “The place just stinks of fish.”
In August 2020, Argos announced it would no longer be printing paper copies of its catalogue. ITV1’s ‘This Morning’ responded by interviewing a retail studies expert named Professor Leigh Sparks who’d collected every single copy since 1973. He remarked: “It was a book of dreams in many ways. What a record of consumer tastes they were” whilst Eamonn Holmes intelligently chirped: “They can show you every stage of your life.”
“It’s So Easy” was Argos’ strapline in advertising campaigns in the 1980s. No doubt, ‘Andy’ won’t share such sentiments when he’s bashed his head against the sign after a night out on the razzle dazzle.
That the ‘Mirror’ focused on the non-story of a man changing his name to Celine Dion to start 2021 is beyond ridiculous
Evidence of the 1st January 2021 being a slow news day was provided by the Mirror’s decision to publish a non-story about a 30-year-old man who supposedly got drunk whilst watching Céline Dion on the telly box and changed his name to hers.
Thomas Dodd, a supposed “super fan” of the utterly irritating My Heart Will Go On crooner claimed the alcohol “must have given him [the] great idea” and told the paper’s Daniel Newbould and Luke Matthews:
“I am slightly obsessed with her, I’m not going to lie. During lockdown I’ve been watching a lot of live concerts on the TV. I can only think I’ve been watching one of hers and had a ‘great idea’ after a few drinks.”
According to the report, the man formerly known as Thomas Dodd spent £89 to make “the title become official, and even splashed out on eight extra certificates as proof of his new identity, adding he’s now able to see the funny side after dealing with the initial shock.”
He added:
“I walked in from work and there was a big white envelope with ‘do not bend’ written across it. I nearly passed out in my kitchen when I opened it.”
“My initial concern was how on earth do I tell the HR department at work that I need to change my email footer? Now I’m thinking it could be a great way to get backstage.”
“I’m just praying I don’t get pulled over by the police for anything – that could get awkward. More annoyingly I’ve paid for eight extra certificates to prove it and they are £10 each.”
“My mother didn’t see the funny side though. I did explain it could be worse and it could’ve been Boris Johnson – we’re just lucky he doesn’t have any live concerts. She’s laughing about it now.”
“I’ve not really thought too far ahead. I’m a little concerned that if I start telling people my name is Céline Dion I’ll get sectioned. However, it may come with its perks.”
“I’ll figure it out, I’m not rushing to change it back that’s for sure.”
“I tried singing Céline in the shower this morning and I can assure everyone I haven’t inherited her voice or bank balance. If this gets to Céline, someone best make sure I have a defibrillator next to me.”
When not belting out Falling Into You or Taking Chances, Céline Dion or Thomas Dodd (or whatever he decides to call himself next to get another outing in a red-topped rag) works as a hospitality manager in Clifton Campville, Staffordshire.
Members of the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ were merciless in mocking the story about the name change from Thomas Dodd to Céline Dion. One remarked: “Last night he changed it again to light weight desperate attention seeker.”One added: “So drunk he typed in all his details correctly, entered his bank details correctly, had a witness counter sign correctly” and another remarked: “Coincidentally, Céline Dion had too much to drink after one of her Vegas shows and changed her name to Thomas Dodd. What are the odds?”
‘The Steeple Times’ chooses the 25 best and 25 worst people of the last year and the 25 who’ll be missed and the 25 who won’t
Happy New Year to all our readers. Our ‘Heroes & Villains’ list was well received in 2019 and as we move into 2021, we join all celebrating ‘good riddance’ to the monstrous mess that was 2020.
Whilst many bombed, most especially Dominic Cummings and Donald Trump in the sphere of politics, for example, the likes of the heroic footballer Marcus Rashford and his campaign for free school meals for poor children showed that even a footballer can make a difference in a pandemic.
HEROES OF 2020
Obvious heroes of the year: Jacinda Ardern for being a leader capable of acting with good sense, Captain Sir Thomas Moore for raising £32 million for the NHS, Lord Sumption for arguing for lockdown liberty and Joe Wicks for keeping the nation healthy and turning down a £2 million deal with a supermarket.
WINNER – Bob Grace
Eternally cheerful groom Bob Grace led out his first winner after 38 years of racing at Royal Ascot in June when his trusty steed Battaash romped home in the King’s Stand. He raised the spirits of the nation and of this humble hero, one Twitter user concluded: “Bob is wonderful, be like Bob.”
Emily Bolton
One of “Britain’s most powerful civil rights lawyers,” Emily Bolton boldly fought for the likely wrongly convicted ‘Freshwater Five’ fisherman in 2020. She is tenacious and dedicated and a force for genuine good.
Steve Cotton
Alongside his cat named Hitler as his barman, “Britain’s grumpiest landlord” proved the spirit of Victor Meldrew was well and truly still alive in 2020. Summing up his approach to business and life in general, Steve Cotten remarked:
“I just make it up as I go along. I might not know how to run a pub but I know what’s wrong with every pub I’ve ever been in. There’s no landlord anywhere, nobody talks to each other. I involve the whole community – everyone knows it’s not my pub, it’s everybody’s pub… We are a dark and cold and miserable boozer – and that’s what people like about it.”
“They all know you can do what you want here, use it for what you want, come here on your own at any time of the day or night and help yourself to a tea or coffee. Everybody will talk to everybody… You can discuss any topic under the sun here, nothing is taboo… Everyone has a go serving behind the bar, we all have a laugh and everyone joins in… No one else talks to them like crap like I do.”
Bilkis Dadi (real name: Bilkis Bano)
This 82-year-old crusader and anti-Modi protester became the “voice of the marginalised” in India in 2020 and was escorted away from the farmers’ protest by the police. This heroine was included in Time magazine’s 100 most influential people of the year and remarked: “We will not stand for this division.”
Alfie Diaper
Ten-year-old “little star” Alfie Diaper recovered from a ruptured spleen in 2019 and “came back fighting” with riding successes in 2020. One Scottish reader of The Steeple Times quite rightly termed this pint-sized hero a “talented, spirited wee soul.”
Julia Donaldson
The author of The Gruffalo went down in literary history as the biggest seller of the last decade in any genre in 2020 and now sells a book about every 11 seconds. JK Rowling did not even make the top five.
Hollie Doyle
Whilst she was ridiculously robbed of the BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2020 and came third, Hollie Doyle amazingly scored 151 wins in 2020. She also broke another record in becoming the first woman to win five races on a card at Windsor and our money is on her to become a hero of 2021 too.
Alain Ducasse
In January, Alain Ducasse spoke complete sense is echoing Iris Apfel’s “more is more and less is a bore” mantra. This culinary remarked: “I’ve noted [the Dry January] trend, but I don’t want to see or hear of it, I am opposed to it… “[I want to] rid consumers of their inhibitions [with regard to wine drinking].”
Lord Fowler
The Lord Speaker of the House of Lords quite rightly argued “there are too many Lords” in December. He added: “As we have just seen, its recommendations can be overridden by No 10. The result is that a prime minister has the power on his or her own to add peers to a house of parliament that can make and, within limits, unmake laws. Is this what the public expect in the third decade of the 21st century?”
Bryony Frost
Rising-star jockey Bryony Frost became the first woman ever to win the King George VI at Kempton on Boxing Day. This true heroine of the year is undoubtedly going to break many other glass ceilings in 2021.
Lady Glenconner
The former lady-in-waiting to the late Princess Margaret declared of coronavirus: ““I’ve been through the second world war and lived with someone with Aids at the beginning [of the Aids crisis]. I’m not scared of a little virus, you know.”
Agnes Gund (AKA ‘Aggie’)
A “put-your-money-where-your-mouth-is” philanthropist, Agnes Gund was described as “the last good rich person” by the New York Times in 2018 and in 2020 used money from the sale of one the most valuable artworks from her collection, a Roy Lichtenstein worth £120 million, to fund US prison reform. She has also given more than 900 significant works to the Museum of Modern Art in New York in the last 50 years.
Anders Holch Povlsen
Asos billionaire Anders Holch Povlsen led the way in rewilding in 2020. He also paid back the government £300,000 of furlough money during the year voluntarily and thus made a mockery of the likes of Sir Richard Branson and Sir Philip Green.
Patrick Hutchinson
Compassionate “fitness buff” Patrick Hutchinson carried an injured far-right racist protestor to his safety in spite of being himself black in June. Sensibly, he remarked: “Living with the image of a man being beaten to death isn’t something I could stomach. How do the police do that? They just seemed to be standing there watching it and filming with their selfie sticks. One of them said ‘well done’ to me, but I couldn’t really comprehend it.”
Jeremy King
The co-owner of The Wolseley rightly slammed Boris Johnson repeatedly during 2020. He rightly described lockdown Tier 2 coronavirus restrictions as “another knee jerk, ineffective, window-dressing, butt-covering initiative that hasn’t been thought through properly.”
Abdulkareem Musa Adam
This child refugee from a war zone in Darfur shone at Royal Ascot 2020. Accompanied by Shadn, this 22-year-old’s story was described by Clare Balding as “[showing] the incredible power of sport to bring people together and help them to heal, even after the most appalling suffering.”
Dolly Parton
In 2020, Dolly Parton gave £733,000 to fund a COVID-19 vaccine. The Guardian rightly said of her: “She understands that money is something you do, rather than something you have.”
Sister Norma Pimentel
Described as the “pope’s favourite nun,” Sister Norma Pimentel featured on Time magazine’s “100 most influential people of 2020” list. She has supported over 100,000 people seeking refuge at the border between Texas and Mexico and of her Julián Castro, former United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, remarked: “Sister Pimentel will keep changing the world, one act of kindness at a time.”
Dr. Ugur Sahin and Dr. Özlem Türeci
The “dream team” husband-and-wife team behind the leading vaccine to solve COVID-19 were amongst the ultimate healthcare heroes of 2020.
MacKenzie Scott
The ex-wife of Jeff Bezos gave £4.3 billion of her fortune to charity during 2020. In doing so, she became one of the biggest single donors to charity in a single year ever.
Santosh Shah
He didn’t win, but the unlikely star of MasterChef Professionals 2020 was this Nepali chef. He was eternally positive and widely lauded as the “people’s champion.”
Shirley Sherwood OBE
Britain’s leading botanist, after losing her tycoon husband at the age of 87, has become an unlikely star of Facebook with her videos sharing positivity and her passion for plants. She has rightly been described as the “driving force behind a revival of interest in botanical art.”
Micheline Stephen
A martini drinking 90-year-old and Dame Maggie Smith-lookalike, Micheline Stephen fought off a burglar and told him: “You’re a wee shite” in 2020.
‘Window Twerky’
Spotted on both the Fulham Road and Kings in Chelsea, this unknown woman amused many with her maniac moves during Lockdown 1.0. Her Fifty Shades of Crazy antics during that Strictly insane time were batshit bonkers but brilliant.
Tobias Weller (AKA ‘Captain Tobias’)
This heroic 9-year-old with cerebral palsy and autism raised over £150,000 for a children’s hospital during Lockdown 1.0 by completing marathons. He remarked: “It feels amazing to have completed both marathons. I feel fantastic. Thank you for clapping and cheering me every step of the way. You are all awesome. I love doing challenges so who knows what will be around the next corner?”
VILLAINS OF 2020
Previous list makers, but repeat offenders included Sir Philip Green, Sir Richard Branson, Tim Martin, Dominic Cummings, Boris Johnson, Darren Grimes, David Starkey, Sir Cliff Richard, Prince Andrew, Matt Hancock, Ghislaine Maxwell, Larysa Switlyk, Liz Hurley, Owen Jones, Richard Madeley, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Michael Barrymore, Vivienne Westwood, Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump and Ferne McCann, but our winner just had to be:
WINNER – Priti Patel
When she wasn’t “minglin’” and “movin’” and misusing the English language, Priti Patel was angling for a return to the death penalty in the UK in 2020. Asked what kept her going in 2020, when even Emily Thornberry declared “gin,” the most awful Home Secretary in generations ridiculously responded: “Showing the perpetrators of crime that they have nowhere to hide and joining our police on early morning raids – reminding the criminals that we’re coming after them.”
James Abbott-Thompson
The son of calculator lacking Diane Abbott MP appeared at Westminster Magistrates’ Court in January after “spitting at a police officer and biting his colleague.” He’d previously exposed himself on a hospital ward and had crystal meth delivered to his mother’s £1.2 million home.
Victoria Baker Harber and Inigo Philbrick
Though ‘Mini Madoff’ Inigo Philbrick was deservedly was dragged to the clink by the FBI in June and remains in custody, his latest ‘baby mama,’ Victoria Baker Harber, couldn’t keep her almightily large trap shut. Shortly afterwards, she turned on one of his many victims, Kenny Schacter, and crudely tweeted: “Are you crying about cash or cock?”
Brian Basham
Bombastic PR peddler Brian Basham didn’t manage to get the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell out of jail in 2020. In response he angrily ranted to his friends at the Daily Mail and called Finding Ghislaine podcast host John Sweeney a drunk and someone he “despises.”
Scott Borgerson (AKA ‘Scott Marshall’ and ‘Mr Ghislaine Maxwell’)
This tech company CEO was revealed to be Ghislaine Maxwell’s “secret husband” in December. He then tried and thankfully failed to use their millions to get her out on bail in time for Christmas.
Benjamin Clark
After attacking the Winston Churchill statue in Parliament Square in September, son of a pastor Benjamin Clark deservedly got fined. His solicitor’s attempts to try to defend him quite rightly fell on deaf ears.
Lizzie Cundy
Desperate-and-will-do-anything-for-attention Lizzie Cundy, 52, turned coronavirus into a photo opportunity in a bikini made out of face masks in October. For her, nothing isn’t worth using for self-publicity.
Ellen DeGeneres
The wheels fell off for goody two shoes Ellen DeGeneres when she was shown to be anything but nice. Her attempt at an apology for allowing workplace bullying was mocked as “underwhelming.”
Alan Dershowitz
Having defended multiple rapist Harvey Weinstein in 2018, Alan Dershowitz went one stage further in 2020 when he leapt to the defence of Ghislaine Maxwell and trashed the reputations of the victims of Jeffrey Epstein.
Tamara Ecclestone Rutland (AKA ‘Miss Piggy’)
Banshee-like billionairess Tamara Ecclestone Rutland appeared on ITV1’s This Morning in April. This daughter of a man whom once disgustingly described Hitler as someone who “was able to get things done” pestered people far poorer than her to donate to the NHS. Of this shameless attention seeker, a Twitter user remarked: “No offence but this feature on #ThisMorning is embarrassing. Trying to raise £1m but they have a family net worth of almost £4bn? Good publicity stunt though…”
Charlie Elphicke and Natalie Elphicke OBE MP
Ex-MP turned sexual predator and “Naughty Tory” Charlie Elphicke and his replacement MP wife Natalie got caught out after urging fellow parliamentarians to pester the judiciary after he got sent down. She was also very nasty about immigrants.
Laurence Fox
Actor Laurence Fox morphed from a housewives favourite and telly box treasure into a tedious twerp in 2020. His Reclaim Party became a laughing stock online and his decision to tattoo “freedom” and “space” on his hands was mocked unsurprisingly.
Mark Francois MP
This tedious Tory was pilloried online when he “disappeared” after an MP was accused of rape. He returned just-in-time to bang on and bore about the brilliance of Brexit in December. We can only hope he’ll “disappear” again in 2021.
Art fraudster Angela Gulbenkian attempted to flee to Portugal to escape going on trial in June. She was quite rightly extradited back to the UK and victims including Percy Bass of Walton Street should finally get justice against this blonde bimbo in 2021.
Julia Hartley-Brewer (AKA ‘Julia Heartless-Brouhaha’)
She’s awful every year without a doubt and will never be a hero to anyone, but in ignorantly defending a right-wing thug who’d relieved himself on a memorial to murdered constable Keith Palmer, this tedious twerp made a total prat of herself. In response, one Twitter user asked her: “Why do you as a woman think it is ok for a bloke to expose himself by getting his dick out and urinating in a public place?”
Michael Heaver
In blubbering like a baby after Nigel Farage failed to make the New Year’s Honours List, “milk bottle white” Westmonster co-owner Michael Heaver again showed himself as just one thing: “A remarkably unpleasant child.”
Lady Victoria Hervey (AKA ‘Toff Totty Vicky’)
Accurately described by the late Tara Palmer-Tomkinson as “unpleasant” and “a right snob,” dimwitted dope Lady Victoria Hervey defended Prince Andrew in 2019 and then stated: “Fuck BLM [Black Lives Matter]” in 2020 on her Instagram page. The world hope she remains silent in 2021.
Eamonn Holmes
Crackpot conspiracy theorist Eamonn Holmes morphed into the David Icke of 2020 when he declared that the “mainstream media’ was hiding a link between 5G technology and coronavirus. Him and his wife were unsurprisingly subsequently dropped from their weekly presenting roles on ITV1’s This Morning.
Dr. Walter Palmer (AKA ‘The Driller Killer’)
Having slayed ‘Cecil the Lion’ in 2015, deranged dentist Dr. Walter Palmer returned to his barbaric ways when he massacred an endangered ram in July 2020. Though he claims to be “looking forward” to his next “adventure,” one can only hope that this monster meets a sticky end in 2021.
Stephanie Pratt (AKA ‘Shady Steph’)
One-time crystal meth addict demanded shoplifters be shot in May 2020 on Twitter. Unfortunately for her, the public were on hand to remind her she’d been arrested for stealing a £1,000 of clothing from Neiman Marcus in May 2006.
Phillip Schofield
Aside from “claiming to have been murdered in a past life because of a debt” in October, Phillip Schofield attempted to rival Sir Cliff Richard and launched quite possibly the most loathed collection of boxed wines ever in September. What a plonker!
Carrie Symonds (AKA ‘Carrie Not On Regardless’ and ‘The Duchess of Downing Street’)
Boris Johnson’s wine chucking puppet mistress proved herself to be a total busybody in 2020. Despite not being elected herself, that the PM’s latest ‘baby mama’ got her own cronies into Downing Street during the year was a total disgrace.
Alexandra Tolstoy
Miserable moaning Minnie Alexandra Tolstoy bleated about not being able to live on £10,000 per week before getting £606,000 for a few of her possessions in a Christie’s auction in November. Loopy to her core, she remarked: “We’re just surviving.”
Dominic West
Aside from being caught kissing actress Lily James in October, actor Dominic West got caught breaching social distancing rules on a shoot in Wiltshire in December. He also claimed to have “jumped for joy” when he found out Donald Trump had coronavirus.
Heroes & Villains 2020 – Lizzie Cundy (left) and Inigo Philbrick and Victoria Baker Harber (right) – Examples of the worst people of 2020 without a doubt.
THOSE WHO’LL BE MISSED
Sadly, many great people were lost in 2020 and amongst those most widely mentioned were Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Honor Blackman, Chadwick Boseman, Kobe Bryant, Jack Charlton, Sir Sean Connery, Des O’Connor, Kirk Douglas, George Floyd, Dame Olivia de Havilland, Eddie Van Haylen, Irrfan Khan, Dame Vera Lynn, Diego Maradona, David Prowse, Gene Reynolds, Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sachs, Jackie Stallone, Larry Tesler and Bill Withers.
WINNER – John le Carré (born David Cornwell)
Having sensibly summed up Donald Trump’s election and the banality of Brexit, novelist John le Carré died from pneumonia aged 89 in December. Of his passing, his agent Johnny Geller remarked: “[He was] an undisputed giant of English literature. He defined the cold war era and fearlessly spoke truth to power in the decades that followed… We will not see his like again.”
Michael Angelis
Liverpudlian actor Michael Angelis brought happiness to many. He was the narrator of Thomas & Friends for 21 years and also appeared in Bergerac and Z-Cars. He died in May aged 76.
Lady Elizabeth Anson CVO (married named Lady Elizabeth Shakerley)
This first cousin-once-removed of Queen Elizabeth II was “discreet and professional.” She observed that “the very rich, the very idle, the very busy and the ones who simply haven’t a clue what to do” didn’t have the skills to organise events, so set up a party planning business. She died in November aged 79.
Sir Terence Conran
Multi-skilled and described as “the most passionate man in Britain when it comes to design,” Sir Terence Conran died in September aged 88. He once remarked: “It’s thrilling as a designer when you see something you’ve designed and built actually being used. Seeing a shop filled with people, or a restaurant with people smiling away happily, it’s like, gosh, all my dreams have come true.”
Alan Davidson
This legendary newspaper photographer captured stars at play from 1969 until his death in March aged 70. Of him, the Daily Mail’s Richard Kay remarked: “No event was off limits to Alan.”
Sir Harold Evans
Described in an obituary in the Guardian as “the most admired newspaper of his generation,” Sir Harold Evans died aged 92 in September. He will be best remembered for exposing Robert Maxwell as a fraudster and Kim Philby as a traitor. In doing so, he became the first editor to order a D-notice and summing him up, here was someone who’ll be remembered as someone “loved by his staff.”
Lynn Faulds Wood
The wife of fellow television presenter John Stapleton was best known for co-hosting the BBC’s Watchdog with him. She died after a stroke in April aged 72.
Derek Fowlds
Affable actor Derek Fowlds was best known for his roles in Yes Minister and The Basil Brush Show. He died as a result of complications from pneumonia in January aged 82.
Desmond Guinness
Brewing heir Desmond Guinness was an author and expert on Georgian architecture. He will be remembered as a “great dandy of his generation” and saved countless buildings from the wrecking balls of property developers. He died in August aged 88.
John Hays
Having doubled his workforce and saved thousands of jobs when him and his wife bought Thomas Cook in 2019, “high street hero” John Hays died suddenly at his offices in November aged 71. He considered his workers “family” and laughed off people comparing him to a “country bumpkin.”
Shere Hite (born Shirley Gregory)
Twice married sex educator and feminist Shere Hite renounced her US citizenship in 1995, was briefly stateless and then became German. She posed in the nude for Playboy whilst at university and died of corticobasal degeneration in September aged 77.
Thomas Hoare (AKA ‘Mad Mike Hoare’)
This fervently anti-communist British mercenary leader died in February having led campaigns in the Congo and a failed “package-holiday coup” in the Seychelles. Of him, his son remarked: “Mike Hoare lived by the philosophy that you get more out of life by living dangerously, so it is all the more remarkable that he lived more than 100 years.”
Tony Hooper
A founder member of the Strawbs, singer and guitarist Tony Hooper died in December aged 81. He left the band after argument over whether they should be more folk or rock in 1972 and became an educational author and book jacket designer in the 1990s.
Knut Kloster
With a name that sounded like a brand of breakfast cereal, “visionary” cruise line king Knut Kloster died in September aged 91. He was best known for co-founding the hugely successful Norweigan Caribbean Line in 1966, but his attempt to build a “world peace boat” eventually came to nothing.
Sir Stirling Moss OBE
“Who do you think you are? Stirling Moss?” will go down in history as a much-quoted punchline of policemen, but this racing driver will be remembered for two other quotes also: “If God had meant for us to walk, why did he give us feet that fit car pedals?” and “There are two things no man will admit he cannot do well: drive and make love.” He died in April aged 90 having survived falling down the lift shaft of his Mayfair home in 2010.
Geoffrey Palmer OBE
As Time Goes By star Geoffrey Palmer died in November aged 93. Of him, his co-star Dame Judi Dench concluded: “Geoffrey was master of comedy.”
Julia Peatling
This Stockwell based medical secretary loved a gin and tonic at PJ’s on Fulham Road and her Downton Abbey star dog, Poppy.
Margarita Pracatan (born Margarita Figueroa)
Cuban novelty singer Margarita Pracatan, who died in June in New York aged 89, was best-known for performing on Clive James’ television show Saturday Night Clive in the 1990s. Of her, he remarked: “She never lets the words or melody get in her way. She is us, without the fear of failure.”
Carl Reiner
Born in The Bronx, actor, author and comedian Carl Reiner joined Twitter at the ripe old age of 90 in 2012. Two days before he passed in June, he tweeted: “Nothing pleases me more than knowing that I have lived the best life possible by having met and marrying the gifted Estelle (Stella) Lebost – who partnered with me in bringing Rob, Annie & Lucas Reiner into to this needy & evolving world.”
Michael Russell
“Publisher, wit and author” Michael Russell was the creator of the spoof memoirs of J. R. Hartley, he of Yellow Pages fame. He also published Richard Spitzy’s How We Squandered the Reich – a book that described Hitler as being “like a cross between a head waiter and a chimney sweep.”
James Sherwood
Buccaneering American businessman James Sherwood revived the Orient Express, built up a chain of hotels and created the Sea Containers empire. He died in May aged 86 having once been stranded at 16,000 feet in the Andes with Princess Michael of Kent after his helicopter had to make an emergency landing.
Barbara Smoker
This “promoter of many causes now take for granted” died in April. Barbara Smoker will be best remembered for saying: “Don’t always be obedient. Obedience is overrated. You’ve got to work out your morality for yourself, not do everything you’re told. Obedience can be more of a vice than a virtue.”
Alexandra Sykes (born Alexandra Sotomayer)
The third wife of businessman Mark Sykes was vivacious and bubbly. “Wise and kind” Alexandra Sykes loved to keep fit and at a party, hers was always the liveliest voice in the room.
Helen Taylor-Thompson OBE
After having worked as a spy in occupied France in the Second World War as part of Churchill’s “secret army,” Helen Taylor-Thompson co-founded Europe’s first AIDS hospice. She died in September aged 96.
Alexander Thynn, 7th Marquess of Bath
Polygamous Lord Bath was as famed for his ‘wifelets’ as he was for his erotically styled paintings. He played an aristocrat in the 1987 video for the Pet Shop Boys song ‘Rent’ and died of COVID-19 in April aged 87.
The late Margarita Pracatan is exactly the kind of person we could do with now.
THOSE WHO WON’T BE MISSED
WINNER – Peter Sutcliffe (AKA ‘The Yorkshire Ripper’)
This evil HGV driver claimed he’d “heard voices that ordered him to kill prostitutes while working as a gravedigger” as an excuse for slaughtering at least 13 women and attempting to murder 7 more between 1975 and 1980. He died as a result of complications from COVID-19 in November.
Tariq Aziz
Saddam Hussein’s principal spokesman died in June aged 79. He had been found guilty of “deliberate murder and crimes against humanity” in October 2010.
Donato Bilancia (AKA ‘The Liguria Monster’ and ‘The Killer on the Trains’)
This Italian serial killer murdered 17 people between October 1997 and April 1998 on the Italian Riviera. A compulsive gambler with a passionate hatred for night watchmen and sex workers, Bilancia died of COVID-19 in Due Palazzi prison in Padua in December.
George Blake
This remorseless British MI6 officer turned double agent for Soviet Union believed he was not a traitor and once remarked: “To betray, you first have to belong. I never belonged.” He died on Boxing Day having caused the deaths of at least 40 British agents in Russia as a result of his treachery.
Alfred Bourgeois
This trucker molested and murdered his 2-year-old daughter and then joked about it. He was given a lethal injection of pentobarbital in December at a prison in Terre Haute, Indiana.
Anthony Casso (AKA ‘Gaspipe’)
An American mobster and serial killer considered a “homicidal maniac.” He confessed involvement in upto 36 murders and was imprisoned for 455 years in 1998. Casso died from complications related to COVID-19 in December.
Brian Daniels
A bus driver turned paedophile serial rapist, Daniels was approaching the end of an 18-year sentence for attacks on four young girls in May when it was discovered he had further victims. He died in prison in October having remarked: “I did something against kids and I was punished. I don’t deserve to live. My final punishment will be death.”
Roy Den Hollander
This American lawyer shot himself in July after being made a suspect in the murder of fellow lawyer Marc Angelucci in California and the son of Judge Salas in New Jersey earlier that month. He had been a member of the National Coalition for Men, but after being kicked out called them “wimps and whiners.”
Terry Dicks (AKA ‘Phil’)
Possibly the most bigoted ex-Conservative MP ever, Dicks termed Nelson Mandela a “black terrorist” and ridiculed a Somali refugee family buying water in a supermarket by saying “where they come from they’re happy to drink out of puddles.” He referenced himself as a “spastic” due to his cerebal palsy and said of an Observer journalist sentenced to death by his hero Saddam Hussein: “He deserved to be hanged.” He loathed gay people and was nicknamed ‘Phil’ – for “elevating Philistinism to an art form.”
Vikas Dubey
An Indian gangster and history-sheeter turned murderer, Dubey was “killed” in July after “the police vehicle carrying him met with an accident and overturned.” He snatched a pistol from a policeman trying to fix a flat tyre, tried to run away and was then shot by another officer.
Scott Erskine
This American serial killer and rapist was responsible for the death of at least 3 child victims. He died in July after contracting COVID-19 in July.
Lonnie Franklin (AKA ‘The Grim Sleeper’)
This LA born serial killer committed at least 10 murders between 1984 and 2007. The majority of his victims were black women.
Dustin Honken
This serial killer was responsible for the murders of 3 adults and 2 children in Iowa in 1993. Before being executed in July, his last words were: “Hail Mary, Mother of God, pray for me.”
William LeCroy
This former soldier murdered a woman he believed was a witch in Georgia in 2001. He never showed any remorse for his actions and his last words were to his “spiritual adviser.” He remarked: “Sister Battista is about to receive in the postal service my last statement.”
Daniel Lewis Lee
This American white supremacist murdered a gun dealer and his family in Arkansas in 1996. He claimed to be innocent until the end.
Samuel Little
An American serial killer responsible for the deaths of at least 60 women, Little claimed to have killed as many as 93 between 1971 and 1997. He died in a Los Angeles County area hospital in December.
John Lowe (AKA ‘Keepers Cottage Stud Murderer’)
This puppy farm owner fatally shot his partner and her daughter in February 2014. He claimed he wanted them “put down” and himself died in a hospice in August.
Ba Ag Moussa
A Malian militant and jihadist, Moussa was shot and killed by French Armed Forces in November.
Roy Norris (AKA ‘The Toolbox Killer’)
Along with Lawrence Bittaker, Norris kidnapped, raped, tortured 5 teenage girls in 1979 in Southern California with pliers, ice picks and sledgehammers. He died of natural causes in February.
Abel Ochoa
High on crack, Ochoa killed five members of his family and tried to justify it due to being “intoxicated and in a delirium.” His final words were: “I would like to thank God, my dad, my Lord Jesus savior for saving me and changing my life. I want to apologise to my in-laws for causing all this emotional pain. I love y’all and consider y’all my sisters I never had. I want to thank you for forgiving me.”
Gordon Pinkerton
An RAF serviceman turned child abuser, Pinkerton sexually abused 6 young girls between 1963 and 2011. He was jailed in 2013 and died of coronavirus in prison in April.
Wesley Ira Purkey (AKA ‘The Claw Hammer Killer’)
Executed by lethal injection in July, Purkey raped and killed a teenager in 1998 and beat an 80-year-old to death with a claw hammer later that year.
Omar Sadiq (AKA ‘Roger’)
This Glasgow gangster and racial hatred inciter was killed by two of his associates in September. A floral tribute at the location of his shooting read: “Absolutely devastated. There was a better plan for you.”
Cathy Smith
This Canadian backup singer injected Saturday Night Live’s John Belushi with a fatal dose of heroin and cocaine in 1982. She died in August and had received a further drugs conviction in 1991 after serving 15 months between December 1986 and March 1988 for involuntary manslaughter.
Howie Winter
This mobster and leader of the Winter Hill Gang was implicated in a number of slayings in the 1960s and 1970s, but never charged. Of his demise in November aged 91, Thomas Foley, a retired Massachusetts State Police colonel, remarked: “It’s the end of a legend, but not a good legend… He is a guy that actually got away with murder.”
Pictured top: Winning Villain of 2020 Priti Patel and winning Hero of 2020 Bob Grace.
As two victims of Jeffrey Epstein do deals with his estate, will mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell now getaway from the charges against her?
Ghislaine Maxwell’s purchase of a house named ‘Tuckedaway’ was indicative of her arrogant decision to try to evade justice and now, maybe, if she pulls off a coup she’ll name her next residence ‘Getaway.’
In it, tellingly, Sommers suggested that ‘Bouncing Bob’s’ daughter “is probably doing cartwheels in her 6 x 9 jail cell” and argued:
“Two victims of the three victims expected to testify as witnesses in the United States v Ghislaine Maxwell case have accepted settlements from Jeffrey Epstein’s estate. This will no doubt weaken the government’s stance against Maxwell and may, in fact, signal the beginning of the end of any possible indictment.”
“Maxwell’s attorneys had begun to argue, as early as July 14th, 2020, during the initial bail hearing, that the case against her is ‘weak, supported by only three accusers who are expected to testify about events that are more than 25 years old.’”
“During the past couple of weeks Annie Farmer and a second ‘Jane Doe’ (believed to be soap opera actress Nadia Bjorlin) accepted settlements from the Epstein’s Victims’ Compensation Program. The restitution fund, handled by Kenneth Feinberg – who was also the ‘9/11 Fund Administrator’ – requires them to dismiss any pending litigation against Jeffrey Epstein’s estate and any of his former employees. Ghislaine Maxwell among them. It also requires they dismiss the civil lawsuits they each initiated against their alleged abuser: Maxwell.”
Getaway Ghislaine – Will Ghislaine Maxwell get a pardon as Donald Trump departs office, will prosecutors drop charges against her or will she actually face the trial she truly, genuinely deserves in 2021? Whatever happens, this wicked wastrel will wield her power packed address book in her battle and she will attempt to damage the reputations of anyone who gets in her path.
Getaway Ghislaine – Whilst Ghislaine Maxwell’s time in prison has been amusingly parodied, the seriousness of the possibility of her potentially now evading justice thanks to some dodgy deals and/or Donald Trump is quite shocking.
Deranged dope Dawn Ward uses the ‘distraction technique’ by quitting ‘Real Housewives of Cheshire’ as she faces a trial for racism and cocaine possession
When she’s not getting herself convicted for slapping Sinitta in “fish fueled fights” in Knightsbridge restaurants, motormouthed maniac Dawn Ward is often to be found seeking out attention on the nation’s telly boxes.
Now, this morning, however, the MailOnline’s Natasha Hooper plainly fell for Mrs Ward’s PR spin and shared news that she’s leaving ITV’s Real Housewives of Cheshire programme after five years “so that she can focus on her family.” Hooper, however, terribly conveniently neglected to mention that this washed-up wench is actually awaiting trial for racism and cocaine possession in March 2022.
Given this rather inconvenient “matter” cannot exactly sit well with a family orientated channel such as ITV was so clearly overlooked, it seems Dawn Ward, for once, has pulled a blinder and got the distraction technique into play. Shame on Natasha Hooper for not showing the slightest ounce of journalistic nous.
Pictured top: Aside from swigging champagne and her terrible temper, Dawn Ward is most certainly not known for her sartorial elegance. Here, the creosoted creature is pictured taking to the catwalk to sport the ‘alien look.’
Distraction Dawn – Dawn Ward with her ex-footballer husband Ashley Ward (left) and dressed up in fetish gear with what one might politely term “a gimp” (right). Here’s one classy bird. Not.Distraction Dawn – Dawn Ward likes to turn on the tears (or wag her finger in anger) when she doesn’t get her way. The public should be reminded she already has one criminal conviction and now faces yet more serious charges as she heads back to court in March 2022.
Self-declared “human” Alexa Chung’s fashion business unsurprisingly flops; the “stuck-up socialite’s” company is supposedly very deservedly “in tatters”
Utterly boring, former presenter of the appropriately named show Big Mouth, Alexa Chung has hit the headlines yet again – and unsurprisingly given her audacity, annoyingness and arrogance, it’s very deservedly for the wrong reasons.
Featured in The Sun this morning, the paper’s ‘Bizarre Column’ reporter Simon Boyle reported Chung’s company, Alpha Charlie Limited, “lost almost £2.3 million and is predicting a tough 2021.”
Going further, Doyle revealed: “Shareholders had to pump in £1.7 million, then put in more money in June this year.” He then concluded:
“If Alexa really had any kind of nous, she’d have cut the ridiculous costs of her lines. But alas, the stuck-up socialite believed she knew better. Yet it seems even her posh pals have snubbed her not-so-trendy designs… Don’t go into business with a pretentious model, there’s a lesson for you.”
Now, given nobody wants to buy your tepid tat, Miss Chung, please finally copy your Amazon namesake and “Alexa off.”
Descriptions of Alexa Chung:
By herself:
“Starlet.”
“Human.”
“Fashion brand.”
“Queen of Instagram.”
“It’s no surprise to me that I’m in this position now.”
“I’m driven by a desire to communicate.”
“I have an emotional connection with other people.”
“Airports are such emotionally charged places. I travel a lot, and I people-watch. And I love that British thing of wearing your holiday outfit home but with a sensible jacket because if you are British you are never not thinking about the weather.”
“I’m always under scrutiny – and I always feel it.”
In October, Alexa Chung decided to pretend she was Queen Elizabeth II. The boring 16:53-minute YouTube feature was not in the slightest amusing, but, of course, this ridiculous woman accompanied her shit-show with a vain message: “And yes, I’m 36” and an announcement that she was launching her own Spotify channel.
