Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Time Out MeGain

‘Time’ magazine’s decision to make ‘Cringe’ and ‘Ginge’ (AKA the Duke and Duchess of Sussex) their poster children is quite beyond cringeworthy

Supposedly, ‘MeGain’ and her drip of a husband Prince Harry moved to America to ‘find freedom’ and seek privacy. ‘Ginge’ and ‘Cringe’ then did deals with Netflix and Spotify and foisted themselves upon the world with a car crash interview full of lies with the simpering sop Oprah Winfrey. These clearly were the antics of a couple wanting to quit the limelight. Not.


Now, with Time magazine having ludicrously featured the wannabe left alone yet still determined to be the centre of attention pair as the poster children of their list of “the world’s most influential people” in 2021, this ghastly duo have rightly been yet again slammed by ordinary folk everywhere as utterly annoying hypocrites. Instead, couldn’t Time perhaps have chosen someone who actually achieved something remarkable like the teenage tennis sensation Emma Raducanu maybe?


In an arse-licking “short profile,” written by the founder of World Central Kitchen José Andrés for the magazine, the condescendingly cretinous couple are nonsensically described as “turning compassion into boots on the ground through their Archewell Foundation.”


Andrés predictably continues: “They give a voice to the voiceless through media production,” but neglects to discuss their profiteering for personal gain and the facts that they do so from an £11 million mansion and with the help of the likes of equally non-private Sir Elton John’s titleless hubby David Furnish and President Biden’s wife, Jill.


As one has to expect, the Spanish chef avoids discussing ‘Meddling MeGain’s’ war with both her very own family and the media. He fails also to mention the damage done by her husband to “the firm” through his moaning and miaowing, but laughably concludes:


“In a world where everyone has an opinion about people they don’t know, the duke and duchess have compassion for people they don’t know. They don’t just opine. They run toward the struggle.”


Condemned in a brilliantly witty opinion piece by Maureen Callahan in the New York Post yesterday quite deservedly as “insufferable… phonies… ponderous and platitudinous,” the latest outing for these renegade royals, very much like non-sweating Prince Andrew, are called out as having shown them to be serving nobody but themselves. In fact, the pair’s determination to call out their “struggle” and “suffering” from their private jet about lifestyle is nothing but laughable.


In response, as always, the couple’s pointless and pathetic PR peddler, Omid Scobie, took to Twitter to leap to their defence. Ignoring many comments from his followers that pointed out that Time made Adolf Hitler their ‘Man of the Year’ in January 1939, Scobie celebrated the couple’s appearance on the cover. He went as far to laud the former Meghan Markle’s “confidence” and her husband as a “man secure enough in himself to not be intimidated by it” and yet again illustrated his inability to show any kind of journalistic impartiality.


The public, predictably, have heard quite enough. It is now time for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex to actually do something else: Time out and disappear.


José Andrés Time Out Duke and Duchess of Sussex
Chef José Andrés claims the Duke and Duchess of Sussex “take risks to help communities in need” and suggests they have “been blessed through birth and talent, and burned by fame.” He suggests “it would be much safer to enjoy their good fortune and stay silent,” but neglects to realise that the pugnacious pair are the ones who’ve gone to war on others rather than others having gone to war on them.
Meghan Markle banana
The former Meghan Markle is known for repeatedly slipping on metaphorical banana skins. Her and her drip of a husband seem incapable of realising the error of their ways and that with each and every move they make, they simply irritate the public and media more and more.
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. The ‘Voiceless’ are invoked simperingly of course but might they reflect on the truly voiceless to the antics of this excruciatingly selfish and odd pair namely our dear Queen. HM cannot, and anyway has far too much class [!], to respond to this collection of infra-dig inappropriate and family unique outbursts. I have though read somewhere that it seems HM may have instructed a firm of solicitors to ready themselves to actually push back in the doubtless future of their continued ‘cashing in by treachery’ of the firm: We can but hope.

  2. Their doing an incredible job of keeping a low profile ever since they emigrated to Disney land.
    How on earth can these two selfish muppets be two of the most influential for 2021??
    It still amazes me that, no matter what the Royals get up to, you will still have the blue rinse set out there waving their little union jacks, and in their eyes, none of them can do any wrong.
    As for Andy and Fergie, the odd couple, well you couldn’t make it up.


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