Wednesday, May 29, 2024

Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie

Will wine chucking Boris Johnson baby mama Carrie Symonds go the same way as the ‘Carrie’ of creepy crooner Sir Cliff Richard’s 1980s song?

Described on his ‘official’ YouTube channel in the comments section by some as “magical” and “one of his greatest hits” in spite of being frankly weird, a seriously strange video of Cliff Richard singing ‘Carrie’ on The Kenny Everett Video Show is something that could sum up what could soon happen to Carrie Symonds next.


Focused on the lyrics “Carrie doesn’t live here anymore” as the contemptible Christian crackpot ‘Cliffy’ croons in the mist outside a café-bar, the continuation with “Carrie used to live on the second floor… Sorry that she left no forwarding address… That was known to me, Carrie” could soon apply to Boris Johnson’s latest baby mama.


Quite deservedly under fire as to failing to explain who really funded payment of the vast £200,000 bill caused by Peter Jones loathing Miss Symonds’ demands for a quite unnecessary makeover of their perfectly habitable Downing Street flat, Boris Johnson – who still faces an ongoing inquiry also into who paid for the December 2019 Mustique holiday nearly 16 months later also – is on the ropes. Like Teflon, he may bat these investigations away, but with his “psychopath” nemesis – as some have branded him – Cummings having “gone rogue,” this time things are beginning to stick.


Of the imaginary ‘Carrie’ in the 1980 song – written by ‘Devil Woman’ songwriter Terry Britten – all-round oddity Sir Cliff told the Mail on Sunday in November 2008:


“It’s a mysterious song because you never really know what it’s about. A guy turns up in the neighborhood asking where Carrie is. The very last line goes: ‘Carrie doesn’t live, doesn’t live…’ You’re left thinking: ‘Is she dead? Has she been murdered?’”


Now, with public outrage turning up the heat in ‘Costly Carrie’s’ Westminster lair, will this ‘Modern Day Lady Macbeth’ puppet mistress ‘survive’ her “date with her own kind of fate”? Some might think that, but we couldn’t possibly comment.


Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie 2021 – The March 1980 screening of Cliff Richard singing ‘Carrie’ on The Kenny Everett Video Show. Of the song, one fan, Tim Roxborough, cringeworthily declared: “Late 70s/early 80s songs like ‘Dreamin,’ ‘Carrie’ and ‘We Don’t Talk Anymore’ aren’t just hits, nor are they just catchy pop tunes. Vocally, Cliff is singing much higher and with far greater emotion and elasticity than what he did in the 50s and 60s. If you’re prejudiced, pretend ‘Carrie’ isn’t a Cliff Richard song and its hook, its groove, its paranoid lyrics and its clean production make it a worthy music cousin of Marvin Gaye’s ‘I Heard It Through The Grapevine.’” We’d argue to the contrary: It’s frankly just creepy.
Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie 2021 – Cliff Richard & Carrie Symonds – Will wine chucking Boris Johnson baby mama Carrie Symonds go the same way as the ‘Carrie’ of creepy crooner Sir Cliff Richard’s 1980s song?
Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – Sir Cliff Richard and Carrie Symonds share a penchant for hooch and holidays. Equally, they both share a liking for making things up and being the centre of attention. Examples of such behaviour includes Miss Symonds’ temper tantrum over being called ‘Princess Nut Nut’ by Dominic Cummings and Sir Cliff’s “young man, go f**k yourself” rant after supposedly being “duped” into describing his own wine as “tainted and insipid” by Gordon Ramsay in June 2006.
Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie 2021 – Cliff Richard & Carrie Symonds – Will wine chucking Boris Johnson baby mama Carrie Symonds go the same way as the ‘Carrie’ of creepy crooner Sir Cliff Richard’s 1980s song?
Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – The similarities between Boris Johnson’s latest baby mama and the creepy Christian crooner continue in the design department. Whilst Miss Symonds likes curious colour concoctions that wouldn’t look out of place in the home of Edina Monsoon in the comedy ‘Absolutely Fabulous’ (left), Sir Cliff favours décor decisions that would most definitely appeal to dictators and despots such as Saddam Hussein and Nicolae Ceaușescu (right).
Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – Both Sir Cliff Richard and Carrie Symonds take the attitude of the late, great Ian Richardson in the original (and better) television adaptation of Michael Dobbs’ ‘House of Cards’ and respond to any criticism with his infamous: “You might very well think that, but I couldn’t possibly comment.” Perhaps, if Tory sleaze does indeed engulf his administration, puppet mistress Miss Symonds and her hapless hubby-to-be may find themselves forced into taking a very ‘Long Summer Holiday’ soon too.
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. WTF is wrong with you?????? Sir Cliff is a supporter of the Find Madeleine campaign and he has given to help dear Gerry and Kate find their beloved daughter Madeleine!!! You should be praising him and though Boris Johnson hasn’t done anything yet…. I hope and am sure he will welcome Gerry and Kate to Downing Street soon like Therese May did with Catherine Meyer and Nick Candy and Holly Valance. The Steeple Times is wrong not to get behind the campaign to FIND MADELEINE, FIND HER NOW and Carrie Symonds is a victim of misogyny and bulliying. I want you to put this right now and show support for FIND MADELEINE, FIND HER NOW.

  2. Carrie Symonds clearly has a hold over Prime Minister Johnson. Something is not right in that household and his alleged affair with the BBC woman that never asks any questions is what we should all be looking at. Why is no one talking about that park bench episode? And why doesn’t said BBC journalist ever quiz BoJo properly?

  3. Carrie Symonds is rotten to her core. Cliff Richard was proven innocent of those nasty fake charges but he still seems to have bitterness and a lack of Christianity in his heart. They both need to seek the help of the couch of a good doctor.

  4. Boris Johnson has broken the rules clearly and possibly the law. He should do the decent thing now and resign as he has destroyed the moral code that the once great Tory party used to have. He is the father of so many children he doesn’t know and some of them out of wedlock and some unacknowledged even. Reprehensible qualities for a leader of Great Britain.

  5. The world of Carrie and Boris is plainly not like those of us ordinary folk. Sending out Therese Coffey to claim that it is normal to get £200,000 of decorating done in a small flat that had already been renovated recently by David Cameron and Theresa May is just stupendously silly.


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