Matthew Steeples invites you to an evening with ‘Waking The Dead’ writer and co-founder of ‘Byline Times’ Peter Jukes on 20th May 2026 at PJ’s Chelsea Brasserie, London
Matthew Steeples of The Steeple Times
invites you to
An evening with author, screenwriter, playwright and journalist Peter Jukes
Writer: ‘Holby City’, ‘The Inspector Lynley Mysteries’ and ‘Waking The Dead’
Author: ‘A Shout in the Street’ and ‘The Fall of the House of Murdoch’
Podcaster: ‘Untold: The Daniel Morgan Murder Exposed’
Co-founder: ‘Byline Times’
The Steeple Times – Discussion and Dinner
at PJ’s Chelsea Brasserie, 52 Fulham Road, London, SW3 6HH
on Wednesday 20th May 2026
THE EVENING
* Arrivals for a Prosecco reception in a private setting on the first floor of PJ’s Chelsea Brasserie from 6.30pm. Those arriving earlier are welcome to enjoy a drink at the ground floor PJ’s bar.
* Matthew Steeples in conversation with Peter Jukes at 7pm prompt with audience questions to follow for 30 minutes. The format will be similar to our previous discussions with amongst others biographer and true crime legend Geoffrey Wansell, Britain’s best known crime correspondent Martin Brunt of Sky News, actor, writer and producer Steven Berkoff, filmmaker Amanda Eliasch, Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York author Andrew Lownie and Manhunt and Crime Suspect host Peter Bleksley. There will be an opportunity for questions.
* 3-course dinner with wine, with options for those with particular dietary requirements, to follow. Guests will have the opportunity to chat with Peter Jukes and Matthew Steeples during the dinner.
* After dinner, guests will be welcome to continue discussions downstairs at the legendary PJ’s bar for further cocktails and conversation.
PETER JUKES
Swindon born Peter Jukes graduated from Queens’ College, Cambridge with a double first in English. A self-declared “Jack of all trades,” Peter’s early plays were performed by Tilda Swinton and Johanna Scalon and his contemporaries at the Cambridge Footlights numbered Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry and Emma Thompson.
During a veritable and varied career, here is a personable polymath who has worked as a journalist, playwright, screenwriter, literary critic and author. Aside from being lauded as an expert in the art of dark comedy, on television and radio, Peter is primarily known for his work in the field of crime thrillers and medical dramas. Credits have included The Inspector Lynley Mysteries, Waking the Dead and Sea of Souls. His opening episode of the third season of Holby City was described by The Guardian as “the televisual equivalent of crack” whilst his 20-part series about the murder of the British private investigator Daniel Morgan topped the UK iTunes podcast chart.
Delving into the phone hacking scandal took Peter down a rabbit hole that resulted in him becoming the first person to ‘live tweet’ a trial on his iPad (with the permission of the presiding judge, Mr Justice Saunders). After spending nearly 9 months doing this in 2013 and 2014 and having written a book about the paradoxes of the News Corp head honcho, Rupert Murdoch, titled The Fall of the House of Murdoch, in 2012, he co-founded the crusading investigative title Byline Times in 2012.
The work of Peter Jukes and his colleagues on topics ranging from Brexit and Cambridge Analytic to Jeffrey Epstein’s expressed desire to establish a church for “confession privilege” have resulted in Byline Times being described as a “counter-balance to the billionaire dominated British press.”
BOOKING
Tickets are priced at £85 per person and include a glass of Prosecco on arrival and half a bottle of either red or white wine per person with dinner.
To pay by bank transfer, please use the details below or alternatively please make a transfer of £85 per ticket to the account listed below by clicking the following link:
Tickets can only be purchased in advance and guest names must be supplied for allocated place settings. The deadline for booking is 6pm on Tuesday 19th May 2026. Tickets are issued on a non-refundable basis.
MENU
The ticket price includes a glass of Prosecco on arrival, ½ a bottle of either red or white wine per person and a three course meal.
As the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are slammed as “hypocrites” and “liars,” they perform another “PR stunt” in announcing a forthcoming speech on Mandela Day
“At Archewell, we unleash the power of compassion to drive systemic cultural change” begin the Duke and Duchess of Sussex on the website for their “non-profit.” They continue by referencing the noun “Arche” as a “Greek word meaning ‘source of action’” and “Well” as “a plentiful source or supply; a place we go to dig deep.”
Trending this morning on Twitter with hashtags including #PrinceHarryisaLiar, #PrinceHarryisaHypocrite, #PrinceHarryisaRacist, #MeghanMarkleisaLiar, #MeghanMarkleisaBully and #MeghanMarkleisaNarcissist, Yahoo!News yesterday reported Prince Harry will be “relaunch[ing] his career as a global humanitarian with a keynote address to the United Nations in New York next week to mark Nelson Mandela day” on Monday next.
Described by the publication’s Tom Sykes as an attempt to “flirt with increasingly political causes” and an attempt to “turn a page on the humiliations they suffered during their visit to England for the Platinum Jubilee, where snubs by the royals, which included being seated behind the Duke of Gloucester in a church service and being banned from appearing with the Queen,” here is another example of the decidedly drippy but also deviant duo yet again stirring the pot.
Rightly, Sykes pointed out “many observers were left wondering what the purpose of their appearance was” and resultingly on Twitter, condemnation and mockery followed.
In separate news, the noxious nuisance formerly known as Meghan Markle has failed in her attempt to dismiss her half-sister’s defamation suit against her whilst the singer Dolly Parton’s sister has come out in support of the actress turned activist.
Stella Parton stated: “I think more people should speak out when they see phony [sic] people in high places thinking their snooty behavior is ok. I also think it’s very telling of Meghan’s sister to change her name back to Markle then use it to trash her little half-sister.”
Twitter users including @DuchessPnocchio reacted to the trending topics about Prince Charles’ second son and his wife by stating “let’s keep this trend rolling.” The intense dislike for the pair of pontificating prattlers continues to grow.Another @tartanpirate1 added: “Guess his past misdemeanors have come back to bite him. That’s what you get when you Nelson Mandela, the global freedom fighter against Apartheid as a PR stunt to launch your business. Still standing on the back of others, eh?”@LemonTrifle concluded: “2 of the most hypocritical, deplorable people ever to step foot off a private jet and sashay into the UN to record private conversations on hidden recording equipment.” Here, indeed, are a couple that are considered an embarrassment to the royal family and here is a pair who have proven themselves to be not at all private – as they had claimed they wanted to be – but instead publicity seeking personal profiteers.
Of her claiming having got married the day before she actually did, Mr Markle stated: “Lying about the archbishop? How can you say: ‘We’ve been married three days before we got married’? Her lies are so obvious, I don’t know why she says them.”
Her very own half-sister, Samantha, has called her out as a liar on multiple occasions also. It has been proven that the duchess’s claim that she hasn’t seen her sibling in over 20 years was proven untrue when a photo of the pair 13 years ago emerged.
Her very own half-brother, Thomas Jr., said of her: “I told Prince Harry, I think she’s going to ruin your life. She’s very shallow… She’s a phony, a bully, a jaded, shallow, conceited woman.”
The former Meghan Markle has been called out on multiple occasions for spinning stories against other members of the royal family, most especially the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.
Staff who’ve worked for her have complained that she is a bully and investigations into this remain ongoing.
The Duchess of Sussex is a known manipulator of the press and paparazzis and it has been claimed that she’ll “twist the truth” to get any headline she wants.
Questions remain as to how many times she’s actually been married in total. Some say twice, some say thrice.
‘The Steeple Times’ chooses our Heroes & Villains 2021; the 25 best and 25 worst people of the last year and the 25 who’ll be missed and the 25 who won’t
Happy New Year to all our readers. Our ‘Heroes & Villains’ list was well received in 2020 and as we move into 2021, we yet again to echo our sentiments from last year and join all celebrating ‘good riddance’ to the monstrous mess that so sadly continued from 2020 into 2021.
May we now all hope that this period of uncertainty is coming towards it end and may we salute the heroic frontline workers who’ve continued to work towards getting a solution to this.
Our Heroes & Villains 2021 list follows, but first we make a special award:
For such amazing dedication and tenacity in his quest to help others, this 24-year-old truly deserves to be commended as not just a hero of the year, but as one of the most remarkable men of the decade. We salute Marcus Rashford and join those lauding him for showing compassion, kindness and decency.
Long may this decent gent continue – but may we also hope that one day soon, a country like Britain stops actually needing to rely on the efforts of such people. It is time in 2022 for our Prime Minister to work towards provide a solution to this crisis, rather than, as it did in 2021, to allow itself to get mixed up in scandals such as ‘Wallpapergate’ and the disgraceful protection of its very own self-serving members like ‘MP for the BVI’ Geoffrey Cox QC and the now money grabbing rather than constituent focused ex-MP Owen Paterson.
HEROES OF 2021
We’ve seen some great people do some wonderful things during 2022 and in the face adversity and strife, it is yet again healthcare heroes who are the ones most deserving of our ultimate respect as they continue to fight to rid us all of coronavirus.
Elsewhere, others have put on extreme shows of courage, broken down barriers and supported those working to expose injustice. We celebrate them all, but our first selection for our Heroes & Villains 2021 list had to be:
WINNER – Richard Ratcliffe
Iranian-British dual citizen Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe has been imprisoned for no good reason in Iran for 19 months. Her husband, Richard Ratcliffe, meanwhile, has never given up hope and his 21-day hunger strike in Westminster in 2021 was illustration of his dedication and courage.
Though the British government has done little to nothing to help him and that the Foreign Secretary has yet to reach a solution is beyond disgraceful, Ratcliffe remains hopeful and in December remarked: “It feels like things are moving and movement is good. My greatest fear is inertia. I always feel it’s shameful, how could it happen, but it did.”
Rose Ayling-Ellis
Aged just 27 and born deaf, Rose Ayling-Ellis has played Frankie Lewis in the BBC One soap EastEnders since 2020. In 2021, she became the first deaf contestant on the channel’s Strictly Come Dancing and went on to win the show’s nineteenth series.
Her victory brought joy to the nation and of her success, award winning deaf and disabled journalist Liam O’Dell remarked: “It goes to show how, with the right support, deaf people can achieve anything… It’s important now that the buzz, passion and momentum generated by Rose’s journey does not dissipate – let’s continue uplifting deaf people!”
Alfie Best
In spite of being of humble origins and leaving school aged just 12, “old school, blood and blisters businessman” Alfie Best has risen to the top and deservedly recently won the ‘Entrepreneur of the Year Award’ at the Signature Awards at the Park Lane Hilton, London.
Described as “the world’s first gypsy billionaire” by the Mirror in August 2021, Wlydecrest Parks chairman and founder Best remarked: “I’m a Romany gypsy. I’m a gypsy through and through and sometimes I pinch myself.”
Generous, flamboyant and the owner of a fleet of helicopters and supercars, Best is the largest residential park and holiday home operator in the UK. He has over 91 parks in the UK alone and is also the owner of East Thurrock United.
Alfie Best, interviewed first by The Steeple Times in April 2017, is someone with tenacity and dedication to hard work. He sets an example to others that if you put in the hours, you’ll get the results and success you desire.
Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, LG, GCVO, CSM, PC
Herself an “avid reader as a child,” the second wife of Charles, Prince of Wales, started what she described as a ‘Reading Room’ that is “inspired by the success of Her Royal Highness’s reading lists shared during the pandemic in 2020” in the last year.”
It has involved everyone from William Boyd and Susan Hill to Kazuo Ishiguro and Hilary Mantel and of why she started it, she herself stated:
“To me, reading is a great adventure. I’ve loved it since I was very small and I’d love everybody else to enjoy it as much as I do. You can escape and you can travel and you can laugh and you can cry. There’s every kind of emotion that humans experience in a book… It has been a lovely way of communicating.”
We urge readers of The Steeple Times to join the 128,000 who’ve already followed this worthy endeavour on Instagram.
Tony Hudgell (AKA ‘Bear’)
Happy New Year Everyone🎉 A message from Tony see you in 2022
Wishing you all health, love and happiness in the year to come 💙
— Tony Hudgell BEM (BCyA) Paula Hudgell OBE (@paula_hudgell) December 31, 2021
In his relatively short life thus far, 7-year-old double amputee and victim of parental abuse as a baby Tony Hudgell has morphed into a courageous changemaker.
This unstoppable dynamo – now adopted by two loving parents and living in West Malling, Kent – is a true “inspiration” and described as someone who “never complains, carries on no matter what is thrown at him – all the challenges, he just gets back up and carries on.”
Nicknamed ‘Captain’ for following in the footsteps of the late Captain Sir Tom Moore, Weller responded to the news by announcing:
“I’m chuffed to bits… It feels absolutely amazing to be honoured by the Queen. My mum told me about the award on Christmas Day and I thought, ‘wow! I am so excited.’”
“It makes me feel magnificent. I love raising money for charity and knowing I have helped other children is a lovely feeling. I am so proud and privileged.”
VILLAINS OF 2021
As could only be expected, many of the usual suspects to be considered villains in the context of our Heroes & Villains listings have behaved appallingly during 2021. Amongst them, towards the top of such a collection, has to be the buffoon that supposedly runs Britain but seems too busy consuming cheese and wine with his puppet mistress wife, Boris Johnson, and the mendacious money grabber the Duchess of Sussex and her sidekick drip of a husband, Prince Harry.
This dastardly duo – quite rightly now known as ‘Ginge and Cringe’ – have caused pain to the Queen at a time when she has lost her stalwart husband and joining them, others consistent in their vileness and ridiculousness must include, as ever, publican Tim Martin for whining about his beloved Brexit causing his profits to slump and the especially moronic media mouthpieces Darren Grimes, Owen Jones and Richard Madeley for their continuing crackpot craziness.
Now, unlike the entirely innocent and wrongly incarcerated Nazanin Zaghhari-Ratcliffe, rightly certain to spend the rest of her days rotting in the clink, mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell (pictured in happier times with her father’s rival, Rupert Murdoch) will never again be called a “socialite.”
This wicked wench will henceforth quite deservedly will forever be labelled a “sex offender” and “sex trafficker” and again The Steeple Times joins those calling for the 1994 Met Police investigation into what went on at the alleged brothel at her Stanhope Mews East mews house to urgently be reopened.
We know that’ll be unlikely to occur whilst her school and university mate Dame Cressida Dick remains in charge and equally, we suspect, the deviant daughter of a murdering pension pot plunderer will not offer up any powerful names of those that so disgustingly ‘enjoyed’ abusing the innocent victims she so willingly passed around.
Shame on her and in 2022 and beyond, may Ghislaine Maxwell forever rot in hell.
Russell Brand
In June 2021, The Steeple Times featured the story of how The Sun excused the unfunny comedian Russell Brand as “quick thinking and a hero” after his German Shepherd dog, Bear, caught a female wallaby “whilst it had its baby in its pouch” and “mauled it to death” in Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire. He should have instead been condemned and most certainly not saluted and at time we remarked:
“If Brand’s dog had attacked sheep or a child – which it quite potentially could do next given it plainly has a clear penchant for blood – would The Sun so easily have leapt to his defence? The hypocrisy of this shocking story is clear and today we call upon the RSPCA and police to intervene before Brand’s dog slaughters something else.”
As far as we are aware, disgustingly, both Bear and Brand remain at large; where the poor wallaby and its baby is buried is, however, unknown.
Gordon Elliott
Racing “blow-in” – given his being the son of a panel-beater and lacking any familial connections to horse racing – Gordon Elliott brought utter disgrace to the sport in March 2021 when he was banned as a trainer for 12 months after being captured on camera sitting on a dead horse whilst on his mobile phone and making a V-sign. Outrageously, this sick scumbag was allowed back into the game just 6 months later and nobody seemed to bat an eyelid.
Ivy Holt
PR pontificating prized pillock Ivy Holt of Media PR is so “highbrow” that we haven’t even got a photo of her – not that we’re bothered; it’d probably break your screens, she’s probably as ugly as sin physically on top of her ugly as sin soul.
This wannabe Brian Basham and fake news muckspreader was called out by The Steeple Times on 1st April 2021 – April Fools’ Day – after she tried to make a mockery of our previous day’s story about the twentieth anniversary of the tragic murder of Stuart Lubbock at the home of the disgraced ‘entertainer’ Michael Barrymore. Shame on her; what an utter disgrace.
Ms Holt (AKA Ivy Elizabeth Barbara Elsby) thought herself clever for sending a press release containing nothing but fake news. When questioned, she claimed that we, instead, were at fault for hurting the feelings of the deranged drug addict Lindsay Lohan. Frankly, this stupid cow and her crappy clients ‘Love Yourself’ ought to have got real. Next!
Rebecca Sabben-Clare
If you were a barrister, you’d most probably abide by the law and be a pillar of the community. Sadly, Rebecca Sabben-Clare of 7 King’s Bench isn’t such a person and after failing to keep her dog on a lead, the result was that her out-of-control beast savagely killed a seal that it managed to get its teeth into.
Sabben-Clare, instead of putting her hands up in shame, then tried to PR her way out of the situation and herself lawyered up. Why the police didn’t prosecute this unfit-to-own-an-animal-of-any-kind barbarian is beyond comprehension.
James Staley (AKA ‘Jes Staley’)
In February 2020, The Steeple Times made reference to an investigation into Barclays CEO Jes Staley (pictured left) in connection to his close connection to the croaked just under a year earlier paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
It took 627 days until anything progressed, but on 1st November 2021, this Boston, Massachusetts born close associate of Ghislaine Maxwell’s ex-lover finally stepped down. The mucky madam, meanwhile, had her Barclays account closed shut down while she was trying to fund her case in February 2020 on the basis of her links to the proceeds of crime.
THOSE WHO’LL BE MISSED
Sadly, as with any year, countless great people pass on into the skies and amongst the many who’ll be greatly missed are are the Queen’s late husband and constant stalwart Prince Philip, the billionaire businessmen Sir David Barclay and Galen Weston OC, CVO, OOnt, footballer Jimmy Greaves, founder of Tramp nightclub Johnny Gold, the Girls Aloud singer Sarah Harding, the talk show host Larry King, the actresses Helen McCrory OBE and Una Stubbs, the racehorse trainer Zoe Davison and the Cheveley Park Stud owner David Thompson CBE.
Our twenty-five selections follow, but naturally the winner of the most missed for our Heroes & Villains 2021 list had to be:
WINNER – Archbishop Desmond Tutu OMSG CH GCStJ
A 90-year-old humanitarian, human rights activist and key force in the campaign to end apartheid, this humble South African hero to millions insisted on “no ostentatiousness or lavish spending” for his funeral and that he be given “the cheapest available coffin.”
Of him, via a video message shown at his funeral, Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby, the head of the worldwide Anglican church, remarked:
“Archbishop Tutu lit up the world… that light has lit up countries globally that were struggling with fear, conflict, persecution, oppression, where the marginalised suffered.”
“When we were in the dark, he brought light. For me to praise him is like a mouse giving tribute to an elephant.”
“South Africa has given us extraordinary examples of towering leaders of the rainbow nation with President Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Tutu… Many Nobel winners’ lights have grown dimmer over time, but Archbishop Tutu’s has grown brighter.”
The late Archbishop himself once wisely added: “If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.” He was spot on and with his passing, humanity is all the poorer.
Harry Brant
A “socialite and style setter” according to The New York Times, Harry Brant fulfilled the prophecy of “the good die young” when he was found dead aged just 24 in January 2021.
Son of the industrialist Peter M. Brant and original supermodel Stephanie Seymour, this modern-day “Little Lord Fauntleroy,” as Vanity Fair once called him, “pushed the boundaries on gender stereotype” and released unisex makeup collections with MAC with his brother even in 2015 and 2016.
Of his passing, his family announced in a statement: “He was a creative, loving and powerful soul that brought light into so many people’s hearts. He was truly a beautiful person inside and out.”
John Challis
The Steeple Times interviewed actor John Challis in May 2013. He told us that “mobile phones are a bloody nuisance” and that he loathed the word “gobsmacked.” He spoke of ABBA being his guilty pleasure and his love of the Hotel Splendido in Portofino and though he became best known for playing a conniving car dealer in Only Fools and Horses, he was only meant to be in the sitcom for one episode.
Thrice married and born in Clifton, Bristol, the legend that was John Challis died aged 79 in September 2021. The statement: “Come on, Marlene. Let’s go home and ignore each other for the evening” will sadly now never be heard directly from his lips ever again.
Terry Lubbock
A campaigner to the end for justice for his raped and murdered son, Stuart – a father of two who was killed in the most gruesome manner in March 2001 at the home of the since deservedly disgraced ‘entertainer’ Michael Barrymore – died after a long battle with cancer in September 2021.
Though he never managed to see any of those present at the Roydon, Essex bungalow when his son died, he will forever be remembered for being “mild-mannered” yet having “the heart of a lion.”
Wilbur Smith
Born in Northern Rhodesia in 1933, British-South African novelist Wilbur Smith (pictured with his beloved wife, Niso) had published an astonishing 49 books and sold over 140 million copies by the time he died in November 2021.
Smith was an international household name whose swashbuckling adventure stories gripped readers for over half a century. He covered critical periods including the dawn of colonial Africa, the American Civil War and the apartheid era South Africa and did so with style and panache.
In 2018, in his memoir On Leopard Rock, the author recounted his life and remarked he’d had ““tough times, bad marriages … burnt the midnight oil getting nowhere, but it has, all in the end, added up to a phenomenally fulfilled and wonderful life.” Believer in “deep research” Smith concluded: “I want to be remembered as somebody who gave pleasure to millions” and he most certainly will.
THOSE WHO WON’T BE MISSED
It is much harder to choose villains who deserve to be dead than heroes who deserve to be missed given they are all loved by somebody whatever they may have done, but lots of bad guys and gals have gone in 2021 – amongst them mobsters, murderers, rapists and sex offenders.
Those that especially stand out for our Heroes & Villains 2021 list include:
WINNER – Bernard L. Madoff
Having been sent to prison for 150 years, the maximum sentence allowed, on 29th June 2009, Queens, New York born Bernie Madoff died in prison on 14th April 2021.
An individual rotten to his core and the personification of greed this Ponzi schemer stole not only £48 billion ($65 billion), but also left behind a family in ruins. One of his two sons died of cancer, the other committed suicide and to the end this wicked “wizard of lies” and all-round wrong ‘un.
Quite rightly, in June 2020, this fraudster’s request for release on compassionate grounds was denied. His wife, Ruth, continues to deny any knowledge of the fraud in spite of being the long-time keeper of his books.
Michael McKevitt
Founder of the Real IRA Michael McKevitt was the brother-in-law of hunger striking Provisional Irish Republican Army (IRA) hunger striker Bobby Sands.
A County Leith native and eventually expelled from the Real IRA, McKevitt was one of four men found liable for the 1988 Omagh bombing and jailed in 2003 for “directing terroism” between August 1999 and October 2000. He had allegedly planned to assassinate the then British Prime Minister Tony Blair and died following a battle with cancer on 2nd January 2021.
Donald Rumsfeld, 13th and 21st United States Secretary of Defense
Forever more, Donald Rumsfeld’s name will be associated with “the biggest military fiasco in US history, the 2003 invasion of Iraq in pursuit of non-existent weapons of mass destruction, alongside the widespread use of torture that has dogged America’s reputation ever since” according to The Guardian.
A Donald Trump supporter described by Henry Kissinger as “the most ruthless man” he ever knew, the villain Rumsfeld was also labelled the “worst secretary of defense in American history” and a man who “lacked the wisdom to change his mind” by The Atlantic. Many believe this psychopath will burn in hell; they are more than likely right.
Phil Spector (born Harvey Phillip Spector)
Born in The Bronx, New York in December 1939, this clearly talented but totally unsound of mind American record producer, musician and songwriter worked with The Beatles, The Ronettes and Tina Turner.
In 2009, this monstrous twisted drug addict was convicted of the 2003 murder by shooting of the actress Lana Clarkson at his then home, the Pyrenees Castle in Alhambra, California, and sentenced to nineteen years to life in prison. Phil Spector died in the clink in Los Angeles, in January 2021. The world is a better place for this repugnant specimen’s passing.
Raymond Teret (AKA ‘Ugli’ and ‘Ugly Ray’)
Chauffeur to the perverted paedophile Sir Jimmy Savile turned radio DJ, Salisbury born Ray Teret was accused of over thirty offences of sexual abuse and eventually convicted of seven counts of rape and eleven counts of indecent assault in December 2014.
AND FINALLY… A SELECTION OF FIVE AMAZING ANIMALS WHO’VE SADLY LEFT US IN 2021
Some incredible animals spotted doing incredible things have kept us all going in the dark days 2021, but amongst those that sadly passed and are thus included on our Heroes & Villains 2021 list are:
WINNER – Seal named ‘Freddie Mercury’
Though the death of any majestic animal is awful, the way in which an irresponsible barrister (one of our Villains of 2021) named Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC reacted after her “snarling” terrier-cross mauled to death a “defenceless” seal on the River Thames in March 2021 was utterly disgraceful.
‘Freddie Mercury,’ as the seal was nicknamed, shamefully never got justice whilst the reprehensible Sabben-Clare was not even prosecuted. The lesson here is this: If you spot this wicked woman and her deranged dog in 2022, run for the hills.
Racehorse named ‘Galileo’
Aged 23 at the time of his death in July 2021, Galileo was a spectacular Irish Thoroughbred racehorse who ran eight times and won six races including The Derby, the Irish Stakes, the King George VI and the Queen Elizabeth Stakes in 2001. After his retirement, he became one of the most sought after sires of the world with notable offspring including Frankel, Nathaniel, and Anthony Van Dyck.
Minke whale calf named ‘Minnie’
In May 2021, an injured minke whale calf became trapped at Teddington Lock in the River Thames. Stuck sixty miles from the estuary, this poor 13-foot long juvenile – which was named ‘Minnie’ – got stuck in weeds after “running out of river and having nowhere to go.” After a desperate attempt to save the “poor fella,” the unfortunate mammal had to be put down with an overdose of anaesthetic.
Racehorse named ‘Roy Rocket’
With nine 1st places along with two 2nd and six 3rd places at Brighton during his eleven-year life, “Roy’s The Boy,” as he was known was “an incredible horse.” Stubborn to the point he wouldn’t go anywhere else, this favourite of punters even had an octogenarian fan named Iris who forced his trainer, John Berry, to down flasks of gin prior to sending him to post.
Dolphin named ‘Winter’
This female Atlantic bottlenose dolphin was found when she circa two months old tangled in a crab trap line in Mosquito Lagoon, Florida in December 2005. Without circulation to her tail flukes as a result, ‘Winter’ lost her tail and was given a prosthetic replacement. In turn, it allowed her make a complete recovery and become an international star featuring in books, films and Nintendo games even. She died in November 2021 of a twisted intestine.
THANK YOU AND ALL THE BEST FOR 2022
All at The Steeple Times would like to thank everyone who has contributed suggestions to our list of the Heroes & Villains 2021. Most have expressed that they would rather not be named so we shall respect that, but all their contributions are greatly appreciated.
May we end by wishing you and yours great times and prosperity in 2022 and may this, for us all, be a much better year.
Cheers and happiness galore and do send your suggestions for the heroes and villains of 2022 to us at [email protected] as the year progresses.
As painfully pushy PM’s wife Carrie Johnson comes under fire again, we examine the background of another of her ‘court’ members, SpAd Josh Grimstone
‘The Court of Queen Carrie’ dominates Britain in 2021 without a doubt. When pushy ‘Princess Nut Nut’ isn’t rifling through her hubby’s phone or choosing wacky, overpriced wallpaper, she’s said to be sparking diplomatic incidents with Japan.
Backing up this unbridled wine chucking busybody – whom previously worked for the mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s charity of choice, Oceana – is a team of ‘besties’ that includes not only the “drowning in honey, stingless” Henry Newman – the alleged “chatty rat” featured on these pages previously – but also a “photogenic, waspish protégé of Carrie Symonds” named Josh Grimstone.
Part of the Prime Minister’s latest baby mama’s “in-crowd of top-notch aides,” according to the Evening Standard’s Anne McElvoy, Tiffin School, Kingston-upon-Thames and University of Manchester educated Grimstone – described by the Daily Mail now as “a special advisor to Michael Gove” – is such a “close friend” to the woman formerly known as Carrie Symonds that he was one of just a few guests at her wedding in May.
Recruited first by DEFRA as a SpAd in July 2018, according to Guido Fawkes, “Tory hunk” Grimstone previously worked for the Vote Leave campaign. He is now “beefing up [recently separated from his wife] Gove’s media presence” and for five years prior was head of broadcast for Conservative Campaign Headquarters.
Grimstone used to have an Instagram account where he displayed topless shots of himself, but that has now somewhat bizarrely disappeared. Likely taken down at the behest of ‘Controlling Carrie,’ this 28-year-old is currently paid between £80,000 and £84,999 for his troubles, the Cabinet Office recently shared. Nice work if you can get it!
Elsewhere, Grimstone can be found sharing ‘Boris’ Puppet Mistresses’ tweets with his 1,470 followers on Twitter. What a truly busy bee.
In December 2019, Carrie Symonds shared a photo of Josh Grimstone (right) with Henry Newman, political press advisor to the Conservative Party Sophia True and an unnamed other man. She described them as “four of my favourite people.”In November 2018, Grimstone was referenced in an article by ‘Guido Fawkes’ that was titled: “Totty watch: DEFRA beef edition… DEFRA beefs up media spin” in which four shirtless pictures of him were shown.
Whilst many will sympathise with Hopkins’ dislike for following rules relating to coronavirus that they consider overly authoritarian, in breaching her hotel quarantine in Australia, this mouthy meddler actually exposed herself as a hypocrite given she so regularly tells immigrants to follow the rules of the countries they move to.
Of her deportation and arrival back in Britain last night, Sky News reported:
“Touching down at Heathrow overnight, the far-right commentator said ‘it’s nice not to wear a mask again’ before stepping into black Mercedes and being driven away.”
“In a now-deleted post on Instagram, which is one of the only social media platforms Hopkins has not been banned from, she wrote: ‘You may ‘deport’ the Hopkins. But you cannot silence the truth. We will fight to TAKE BACK our freedoms.’”
Today we join those in Britain saying anything but thanks to the people Australia; we’d rather you’d kept this ketamine taking, money motivated and utterly batshit bonkers woman. Please, anyone, anyone anywhere: Help save the British public from this noxious nuisance and get ‘Hateful Hopkins’ once again out of ‘ere.
Amongst the many lowpoints of moralising-without-morals-herself Katie Hopkins’ life was the moment she got caught having sex with a married man in a field. Of this, she shamelessly remarked: “Mark was a married man and yes I stole him. I stole my first husband as well – get over it.”
Deservedly banned from Twitter and most other social media platforms, Katie Prince was brilliantly duped into accepting a fake award that labelled her a c*nt by YouTubers Josh Pieters and Archie Manners in January 2020.
Some of Katie Hopkins’ most outrageous moments:
On people with dementia:
“Dementia sufferers should not be blocking beds. What is the point of life when you no longer know you are living it?”
On Ramadan:
“Ramadan typically brings a spike in violence in Middle East. I get grumpy when I don’t eat – but I don’t blow things up. Religion of peace?”
On ginger haired children:
“Ginger babies. Like a baby. Just so much harder to love.”
On ‘Highgella’ Nigella Lawson:
“A self-confessed drug-taker, spendthrift, and a self-obsessed flirt determined to show other women they were imperfect.”
On tourists stranded in Egypt after the bombing of a Russian airplane:
“I think if you are going to take your children out from school, which is ridiculous in itself, stick them in a destination that is dangerous, don’t be complaining on my television that you’ve been delayed at the airport, don’t be complaining that you don’t have any information, and don’t be coming back acting like you are a refugee from a war-torn country.”
On Jewish politician Ed Miliband’s wife:
“Pollsters say Justine [Miliband] is the least popular of the party wives. He might stick her head in the oven and turn on the gas.”
On refugees:
“Make no mistake, these migrants are like cockroaches. They might look a bit ‘Bob Geldof’s Ethiopia circa 1984,’ but they are built to survive a nuclear bomb. They are survivors.”
On obesity:
“I don’t really like fat people… Would I employ you if you were obese? No, I would not… If you are obese, you look lazy.”
On suicidal prisoners:
“They should just kill themselves.”
On the Grenfell Tower tragedy:
“The biggest victims of Grenfell are the taxpayer.”
This morning and now unfortunately for the nation now-back-in-Britain Hopkins took to her verified Instagram account to remark: “I will not relent. I will not back down. I will not apologise. Australians must be set free. #FreeAustralia.”
That the pointless prattler the Duchess of Sussex is to team up with Sir Elton John’s titleless husband David Furnish for Netflix is nothing but oily
News that two equally pointless prattlers – Meghan, the mouthy Duchess of Sussex and the titleless moaner David Furnish – have teamed up isn’t surprising.
Coming together as executive producers for “a new animated series for Netflix,” the dastardly duo are to make a “series that follows a young girl’s adventures.” It has a working title of Pearl and cringeworthily will be “inspired by a variety of influential women from history.”
A statement from Netflix announced the coming together of Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex and Sir Elton John’s hapless hubby David Furnish.
“I am delighted that we are finally able to announce this exciting animated series. Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex and I are deeply passionate about bringing the inspirational and positive stories of extraordinary women from around the world to a global audience of all ages. The team collaborating on the series are first class, and @netflix are the perfect partner.”
Going further, ‘The Modern Day Mrs Simpson’ and the worse half of the duo that is ‘Cringe and Ginge’ added in a statement subsequently:
“Like many girls her age, our heroine Pearl is on a journey of self-discovery as she tries to overcome life’s daily challenges.”
“I’m thrilled that Archewell Productions, partnered with the powerhouse platform of Netflix, and these incredible producers, will together bring you this new animated series, which celebrates extraordinary women throughout history.”
“David Furnish and I have been eager to bring this special series to light, and I am delighted we are able to announce it today.”
Previously ever-so-private Furnish and continually ever-so-public ‘MeGain’ (in spite of claiming she wishes to be ever-so-private) frankly are two people the world could do without more from. Please, Netflix, change your position and do the decent thing: Keep this oily, ingratiating pair off our screens.
Both the Duchess of Sussex and David Furnish are only really known globally for whom they are married to. This tedious pair truly are actually made for one another.
‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie deservedly gets slammed by ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan for getting her shut down on Twitter; this childish chap should now just ‘belt up, wrap up and shut up’
Last night, in a video missive uploaded to YouTube – where she once again declared “all my content is found in the public domain,” but for once didn’t add that she “plays by the rules” and instead cautioned: “I follow the fair use and fair dealing guidelines” (whatever they may be) – Sadie Quinlan (better known as ‘Yankee Wally’) shared that she’s had her Twitter account suspended.
“I have got to be very careful that I don’t slip up with anything,” began Quinlan in her 13:19-minute dialogue about how she has been accused of making “a violent and disturbing comment” that Omid Scobie – a pointlessly pathetic peddler of PR for the Duchess of Sussex – reported to the social media giant when “trying to get her account shut down.”
Whilst, frankly, one would imagine the self-professed “bestselling author, royal editor for Harper’s Bazaar USA, ABC and Good Morning America contributor and host for ABC Audio’s podcast #TheHeirPod” Scobie would surely have plenty to keep his gut wrenchingly woke “positive vibes” focused on elsewhere, it seems he has a vendetta against The Steeple Times’ reader favourite, ‘Yankee Wally.’
Condemned by one of ‘Yankee Wally’s’ supporters as a “lying git who twists everyone like his best friend,” Scobie came in for a roasting from Quinlan after he tweeted:
“Context: Seeing as the important details were removed. Around two years ago, I received tweets telling me about a video made by a user with a criminal record and a history of online threats and abuse that contained a disturbing and violent remark and I wanted to report it to YouTube.”
Going further of this revelation, Quinlan announced: “So, that’s Scobie’s justification for reporting me to Twitter and YouTube… Hang on now, I’m now going to expose some of what’s underneath that. And if you find me guilty, you find me guilty,” before offering up a direct message between ‘MeGain’s’ bestie and her source.
In it, the former Meghan Markle’s rent-a-gob asked the unnamed individual:
“Hi – do you know which video Wally said ‘bloody foreigner’? Trying to get her account shut down.”
Responding, Quinlan – who made a point of declaring: “By the way folks, I’m 65 now, my birthday is on the same day as the Queen, she was 95 and I was 65” – justified her words by remarking:
“I’m sorry for laughing and I don’t mean to offend anybody, but I say it all the time. Not just for foreigners, for my cats, for all sorts of things. You know, I say: ‘The bloody Welsh’ if they lose the rugby. It doesn’t matter to me. It’s, it’s flippant to me, but obviously not to Omid, so that’s what Omid is calling ‘violent and worrying,’ whatever he calls it. That’s it.”
“I was talking to somebody in the media today and the reason that Scobie is being mostly ignored is that the majority of reporters don’t like to give him airspace or any time because he loves it, he likes to dine out on it for a week. He likes to make mountains out of molehills and that’s why he’s very much like Meghan, dramatic, a drama queen.”
“The more attention you give him, the more he thrives on it, because he’s so desperate for attention. Him and Meghan don’t only look alike, they are alike.”
Continuing, in response to another user’s remarks, Quinlan then added:
“It looks like the ‘bloody foreigner’ remark, which may have been cheeky, but I’m Welsh. It doesn’t mean a lot to me and if I have offended you, I really am sorry, I wouldn’t offend you for the world, but I wasn’t saying it about you. I was saying it about Scobie and maybe he’s offended because he used to live in Wales.”
“I’ll tell you something for nothing now, he ain’t no Welsh. He hasn’t got what it takes to be a Welsh person. I’ve got a son-in-law whose Persian and I think Scobie’s Persian.”
“I thinks perhaps Scobie might understand me a bit more if only, I am a very tolerant person. ‘Bloody foreigner’ because he behaves like a foreigner and he’s not acting with any respect for the royal family. That’s probably why I said it. He was behaving like somebody that hated the royal family and to me that doesn’t make him a British person because most Brits don’t do that.”
Following on about her personal past, Quinlan observed:
“The thing is, when I first came to Twitter and YouTube, when YouTube first took me down, I had to open another account under my real name, which I changed to ‘Yankee Wally’ then. And that ‘Sussex Squad’ are relentless and they got my real name and did a Google search and found something out about me that was to them a battering ram to batter me with.”
“And batter me, they did. And this was an occurrence that happened 16 years ago, actually almost to the month 16 years ago. And I paid my price, I learnt my lesson and I was very full of remorse to the point where I actually apologised to the bloke.”
“But, you know, it doesn’t really matter now. You should judge me as I judge you. You know, I take you on face value – what I see in your tweets, what I see in your emails. I judge you on that. I don’t want to know if anything rotten, I wouldn’t want to be talking to an axe murderer or Ted Bundy’s wife or anything. I got my standards, but if I don’t know, I don’t know and that’s good enough for me.”
“I will just judge you as you judge me on face value. You’re lucky in a way that you’ve got more of me than I’ve got to judge me on because I think somebody’s voice and the way they speak is indicative of their personality, you know.”
“And I’m blessed like that because I’ve got a very open voice and because I am an open person, but I’m not going to stand here, sit here, and have everybody bash me for something I did 16 years ago. Which, nobody died, nobody was robbed, nobody lost anything, nothing was stolen, nothing, nothing. It was a nothing offence. But anyway, I paid for it.”
“I’ve never hidden it because I can’t. I would never have mentioned it in my life, ever, but when the ‘Sussex Squad’ started plastering it all over Twitter and making me sound like a demon and an absolute Satan, I think I hid away because I didn’t know what else I could do.”
“You can’t always make people believe you or like you, you know, and I wouldn’t even try to because that’s false and so, I just thought, and I’ve said to people: ‘Well, you know, if you’ve seen the things you see, I’m not saying this is a lie, but it’s not quite as it seems. You know, it’s hard, it’s very hard.”
“Scobie, mind, he’s not very nice in his heart… Now, my past, after 7 years, you are entitled to have it kept secret or hidden or not spoken about, I think. I did make moves to get that done with Google search, but by that time, the cat, you know, the cat was out of the bag.”
“But, I haven’t got a history, I’ve never threatened anybody and I’ve never abused anybody. And that violent and disturbing remark, those ‘bloody foreigners,’ is why he wanted to take my YouTube channel down.”
“We don’t want to talk about this again. Well, not my past, because I don’t want to, but if you need to know anything just email me… And thanks for listening, cheerio!”
Our advice to “triggered” Omid Scobie – an individual with a hint of Gerry and Kate McCann ‘groupie’ Martin Brunt about him – follows: Follow the late, great Michael Winner’s advice, “calm down, dear” and allow ‘Yankee Wally’ her audience. She’s not doing you an ounce of harm and her thoughts on the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are entirely in track with the majority of the British public. Go back to your pointlessly pathetic arse-licking antics and leave this amusing and audacious lady be.
Join the 2,700 people who’ve signed a petition against Omid Scobie’s actions by clicking here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtDr4AzqJ6A
Evidence shared by Sadie Quinlan (AKA ‘Yankee Wally’) illustrating how determined her pointlessly pathetic adversary is in getting her “cancel cultured.”In the end, the “triggered” Scobie did, indeed, get what he wanted and now the @yankeewally2 account is suspended from Twitter for having “violated the Twitter rules.”Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II with Michael Winner. Omid Scobie would do well to heed this late, great sage’s often uttered advice.
Nikolay Kalinin urges readers to support journalist and screenwriter Peter Jukes’ crowdfunder as he commences legal action against mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell’s moronic mouthpiece Jay Beecher
Far-right twerp Jay Beecher went somewhat silent after The Steeple Times published an article in April about him joining the hellish circle of utterly delusional individuals hell-bent on defending mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell.
Several days ago, however, this noxious nitwit emerged out of the dark hole that is the Phantom Zone in order to shockingly and without any evidence accuse the talented screenwriter and Byline Times editor Peter Jukes of child abuse in an article for the far-right Politicalite website. According to Beecher, the accuser he wrote of once starred in one of Jukes’ plays after joining an amateur acting group.
Jukes responded on Twitter and announced that he was setting up a legal crowdfunder against Beecher and his associates Jordan Kendall, James Bembridge and James Melville. In another post featuring a screenshot of an email sent to Beecher’s representative, Jukes has denied the clearly nonsensical accusations and stated that if he “actually believed these allegations he should inform the police.”
In another tweet, Jukes stated: “Beecher and James came up with this on the back of a naff Google search on me, having already declared they were going to take Byline Times ‘down,’” which demonstrates that Beecher’s actions are motivated by a desire to bring down a man calling out clear crackpots like him.
Jukes’ complaints against Bembridge and Melville were based on them retweeting the article published on Politicalite – where Beecher is a regular contributor – which reiterated the appalling accusation that Jukes committed child abuse.
Today, I urge readers to support Jukes’ campaign to tackle Beecher’s lies, because his work as editor of Byline Times has allowed people to gain a new perspective on our country, which is important in these divisive times. It is important also that the harmful tosh being spewed by people like Jay Beecher is not allowed to harm anyone else’s lives and it is important also that such individuals are brought to book for their reprehensible conduct.
To contribute to Peter Jukes’ crowdfunder, click here. All donations will be used only to fund the costs of specialist defamation solicitors, Bindmans LLP.
Prior to publication of the ‘Politicalite’ smear, Peter Jukes responded in writing to Jay Beecher’s nonsense with a comment. It read: “These allegations are completely untrue and I believe Mr Beecher to be making them maliciously. Rather than publishing a libelous and contemptible smear – if Mr Beecher actually believed these allegations he should inform the police. I would happily talk to them and prove this is a malicious allegation for which Mr Beecher will be able to provide no proper details or supporting witnesses, because none exist.After ‘The Steeple Times’ highlighted Jay Beecher as an attention seeking desperado devoted to supporting the deviant daughter of the pension pot plunderer Robert Maxwell, Ghislaine Maxwell, in April, the cowardly cretin blocked our Twitter account. Today, we remind readers that what we are dealing with here is an ignoramus with an especially nasty tongue.
Desperate for attention Jay Beecher has pinned himself to a whole array of crackpot ‘causes’ over the years. Aside from having been involved in UKIP (from which he was ultimately and unsurprisingly suspended) and the Tory Party, he more recently created a weird wack job website named ‘The Maxwell Files.’ Here, in June 2021, he published a rambling rant in support of the deservedly incarcerated Ghislaine Maxwell. In it, he quoted the mucky madam’s brother as saying: “One of our favourite games when she was very young was to teach Ghislaine bad words (which of course she did not know the meaning of) and then encourage her to use them in front of our parents when they had guests over which got us into trouble but made Kevin and I hoot with laughter as when Ghislaine, around 4, told a former Principal of Brasenose College, Oxford to ‘piss off’ when he asked her how old she was. We had told Ghislaine that was a form of greeting!” With friends like Beecher, who needs…
Bear abusing Republican wannabe Governor of California John H. Cox deserves to be sanctioned for his senseless stunt in San Diego
More ‘bozo’ than ‘beast’ and plainly a practitioner of nothing but ‘bear cheek’ rather than ‘bare chic,’ 66/1 chance wannabe Governor of California John H. Cox is a multi-millionaire Republican who well and truly deserves a roasting.
Condemned by the San Diego Humane Society and featured in the Guardian this morning, this reckless rogue turned up to campaign in that particular city with a 1,000lb Kodiak bear named Tag as part of his voteforthebeast.com operation.
Disgustingly and without consideration for the poor beast, Cox’s decision to appear “at lecterns with his ursine companion wandering behind him” were shot down by animal rights groups and state lawmakers as a “senseless stunt.”
Quite rightly now given he has likely breached a San Diego city code that reads: “No person shall offer for sale, give away, bring into or maintain within an area coming within the jurisdiction of this ordinance, any lion, tiger, bear, monkey, wolf, cougar, ocelot, wildcat, skunk,” Cox deservedly likely faces action against him in the form of a misdemeanor charge.
Moron of the Moment 2021 – Attention seeking John H. Cox rented Tag from a firm that hawks out “wild animals for entertainment purposes.” According to NBC7 San Diego, the Republican’s gubernatorial campaign is “centered around the theme a ‘beauty and the beast’ theme, with Newsom being the beautiful out-of-touch politician and Cox being the ‘beast’ who can make change in California. Tag has become a quasi-campaign mascot.”Moron of the Moment 2021 – John H. Cox’s inane logo even features a roaring bear.Moron of the Moment 2021 – This true berk deserves full sanction over his frankly sick treatment of an animal that should not be paraded around as a prop.
Will wine chucking Boris Johnson baby mama Carrie Symonds go the same way as the ‘Carrie’ of creepy crooner Sir Cliff Richard’s 1980s song?
Described on his ‘official’ YouTube channel in the comments section by some as “magical” and “one of his greatest hits” in spite of being frankly weird, a seriously strange video of Cliff Richard singing ‘Carrie’ on The Kenny Everett Video Show is something that could sum up what could soon happen to Carrie Symonds next.
Focused on the lyrics “Carrie doesn’t live here anymore” as the contemptible Christian crackpot ‘Cliffy’ croons in the mist outside a café-bar, the continuation with “Carrie used to live on the second floor… Sorry that she left no forwarding address… That was known to me, Carrie” could soon apply to Boris Johnson’s latest baby mama.
Quite deservedly under fire as to failing to explain who really funded payment of the vast £200,000 bill caused by Peter Jones loathing Miss Symonds’ demands for a quite unnecessary makeover of their perfectly habitable Downing Street flat, Boris Johnson – who still faces an ongoing inquiry also into who paid for the December 2019 Mustique holiday nearly 16 months later also – is on the ropes. Like Teflon, he may bat these investigations away, but with his “psychopath” nemesis – as some have branded him – Cummings having “gone rogue,” this time things are beginning to stick.
Of the imaginary ‘Carrie’ in the 1980 song – written by ‘Devil Woman’ songwriter Terry Britten – all-round oddity Sir Cliff told the Mail on Sunday in November 2008:
“It’s a mysterious song because you never really know what it’s about. A guy turns up in the neighborhood asking where Carrie is. The very last line goes: ‘Carrie doesn’t live, doesn’t live…’ You’re left thinking: ‘Is she dead? Has she been murdered?’”
Now, with public outrage turning up the heat in ‘Costly Carrie’s’ Westminster lair, will this ‘Modern Day Lady Macbeth’ puppet mistress ‘survive’ her “date with her own kind of fate”? Some might think that, but we couldn’t possibly comment.
Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie 2021 – The March 1980 screening of Cliff Richard singing ‘Carrie’ on The Kenny Everett Video Show. Of the song, one fan, Tim Roxborough, cringeworthily declared: “Late 70s/early 80s songs like ‘Dreamin,’ ‘Carrie’ and ‘We Don’t Talk Anymore’ aren’t just hits, nor are they just catchy pop tunes. Vocally, Cliff is singing much higher and with far greater emotion and elasticity than what he did in the 50s and 60s. If you’re prejudiced, pretend ‘Carrie’ isn’t a Cliff Richard song and its hook, its groove, its paranoid lyrics and its clean production make it a worthy music cousin of Marvin Gaye’s ‘I Heard It Through The Grapevine.’” We’d argue to the contrary: It’s frankly just creepy.Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – Sir Cliff Richard and Carrie Symonds share a penchant for hooch and holidays. Equally, they both share a liking for making things up and being the centre of attention. Examples of such behaviour includes Miss Symonds’ temper tantrum over being called ‘Princess Nut Nut’ by Dominic Cummings and Sir Cliff’s “young man, go f**k yourself” rant after supposedly being “duped” into describing his own wine as “tainted and insipid” by Gordon Ramsay in June 2006.Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – The similarities between Boris Johnson’s latest baby mama and the creepy Christian crooner continue in the design department. Whilst Miss Symonds likes curious colour concoctions that wouldn’t look out of place in the home of Edina Monsoon in the comedy ‘Absolutely Fabulous’ (left), Sir Cliff favours décor decisions that would most definitely appeal to dictators and despots such as Saddam Hussein and Nicolae Ceaușescu (right).
Creepy Cliff & Costly Carrie – Both Sir Cliff Richard and Carrie Symonds take the attitude of the late, great Ian Richardson in the original (and better) television adaptation of Michael Dobbs’ ‘House of Cards’ and respond to any criticism with his infamous: “You might very well think that, but I couldn’t possibly comment.” Perhaps, if Tory sleaze does indeed engulf his administration, puppet mistress Miss Symonds and her hapless hubby-to-be may find themselves forced into taking a very ‘Long Summer Holiday’ soon too.
