Fashion fruitcake Alexa Chung arrogantly announces that she has no interest in anything other than “endless parties” in “post-pandemic” times
Whilst over 100,000 people may have died from coronavirus in Britain to date, this morning, the Guardian’s Jess Cartner-Morley shared that alien-to-all-of-this Alexa Chung – a weird wench who once merged her entire name into one hashtag, #ALEXACHUNG – has announced that her priority is not helping others, but instead getting her glad rags on when the pandemic is over.
In response to a WhatsApp message from Cartner-Morley, fresh from running up debts of £2.3 million in 2020, ex-Big Mouth Chung supposedly, without a thought for those already gone and others on their deathbeds, ridiculously replied:
“When I think about life post-pandemic, all I can think about is endless parties… [I will be in] eye-wateringly short bodycon dresses – I may need matching knickers – and high heels.”
NHS staff and key workers will no doubt also be delighted to learn of Chung’s latest pearl and once again: “Thanks, Alexa” will resonate throughout the land.
Descriptions of Alexa Chung
- “Fashion brand.”
- “Queen of Instagram.”
- “It’s no surprise to me that I’m in this position now.”
- “I’m driven by a desire to communicate.”
- “I have an emotional connection with other people.”
- “Airports are such emotionally charged places. I travel a lot, and I people-watch. And I love that British thing of wearing your holiday outfit home but with a sensible jacket because if you are British you are never not thinking about the weather.”
- “I’m always under scrutiny – and I always feel it.”
- “[Modelling] warped my reality.”
By Lily Waddell of the Mail on Sunday:
- “Fashion royalty.”
- “The belle of the ball.”
- “The biggest designer name of the moment.”
- “A style maven.”
- “A starlet.”
- “A fashion genius.”
By Niomi Harris of the MailOnline:
- “Usually cuts a stylish figure at showbiz bashes.”
- “Allows her dress to do the talking.”
By Kayleigh Giles of the MailOnline:
- “Sits front row at almost every major Fashion Week show.”
By Anna Wintour:
- “A phenomenon.”
By The Sun’s Simon Boyle:
- “Miserable, snooty model.”
- “Does naff all.”
- “Stuck-up socialite.”
- “Believes she knows better.”
- “If Alexa really had any kind of nous, she’d have cut the ridiculous costs of her line.”
- “Don’t go into business with a pretentious model [like Alexa Chung], there’s a lesson for you.”
Send her Down Under and get her on my knee!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll birch the bitch into the real world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This young lady is plainly a) lacking in real talent, b) loves hearing her voice and nobody else’s and c) is utterly pointless.
She should focus on clearing her debts. Stupid bint.
A legend in her own mind.
Another one for the rubbish heap.
She has a slight look of Victoria Beckham about her and is definitely as vapid.
She should shut the fu*k up. 150,000 deaths and countless maimings are not reason to celebrate. Our doctors and nurses are dying as well as our friends and relatives. I hope when we are through there will be a solemn remembrance service for what we have been through. Keep safe and make sure you vaccinate. Debunk denialism and visit this website