Charlie Gilkes

‘Stretched’ 1994 Toyota Century for sale for less than the price of a brand new Ford Fiesta; the rammed full of gadgets limousine comes with a food heating compartment and privacy curtains favoured by notoriously shy Japanese people even.

Matthew Steeples finds amusement in Twitter handles; a life in a sentence can be found on some of the best profiles.

Moving on homes owned by the newsworthy – including a country house apartment in a castle currently owned by Jasper Conran and the childhood homes of Al Capone and Jackie Kennedy.

Acclaimed actor, writer and producer Steven Berkoff responds to an article in ‘The Times’ featuring an image of a sub-human barbarian with a polar bear he’d mercilessly slayed.

‘Stately’ Cape Cod style ‘mini mansion’ in North Carolina with 1.14 acres of land for sale for just £44,000; it is situated in a town that was the birthplace of the biggest ever American, a very fat and very tall man named Mills Darden.

‘The Steeple Times’ reports on anything but a ‘Super Saturday’ at The Botanist on Sloane Square; we share here imagery and a video of a thieving woman whom must be caught.

Matthew Steeples questions why Alan Dershowitz is getting so enthusiastic in his defence of the vile paedo procurer Ghislaine Maxwell.

‘The Steeple Times’ takes a look at the seven horse Group 1 Coral-Eclipse 2020 at Sandown and opts for a tasty outsider for an each way bet.

As a poll reveals the public believe Ghislaine Maxwell will ‘suicide herself’ in a similar manner to her former master Jeffrey Epstein, the Cash & Rocket ‘charity’ unbelievably announce they are going ahead with another rally in 2021.

‘The Steeple Times’ analyses the selections for a somewhat damp double at Epsom on ‘Super Saturday’; we suggest enjoying The Oaks and The Derby 2020 at home.

Vast Edwardian mansion with basketball court in the roof in Watseka, Illinois for sale at half price it listed for in 2016; it’s on for just £20 per square foot.

As manipulated millennial Darren Grimes gets himself into yet another racism storm with the help of his beloved bigot Dr David Starkey, one has to ask: “Who is this cretin’s puppet master?”

Acclaimed restaurateur Philip Lawless to reopen Square Mile institution and haunt of city financiers the Bow Wine Vaults on Monday.

Statue of late billionaire sex beast Jeffrey Epstein mysteriously appears outside City Hall in Albuquerque, New Mexico (and is promptly removed by officials).

E-Scooter-ing Out a Minister For Rent – As the government disgracefully announces they’ll be allowing rentable e-scooters on Britain’s roads, Matthew Steeples asks: “Who gave ‘a Robert Jenrick’?” to get this multi-million market going.

Matthew Steeples urges fans of ‘The Archers’ to forget the BBC’s revised coronavirus version; until normality returns, give ‘The Pargetter Triptych’ a...