Monday, February 26, 2024

Branding Henley’s Wallaby Killer

Russell Brand should be condemned not congratulated after his rabid dog killed a wallaby in the scene of weird animalistic happenings, Henley-on-Thames

In July 2014, we featured the sale of a “chocolate box” thatched cottage – with the rather predictable name ‘Thatched Cottage’ – next to the River Thames at Mile End Reach, near Henley-on-Thames in Oxfordshire that had featured in the Inspector Morse sequel Lewis on two occasions.


Visited in that murder mystery series by the since gone-utterly-off-his-merry-rocker actor Laurence Fox in his role as DS James Hathaway, by February 2016, Thatched Cottage had become the real-life home to the near equal wack job Russell Brand. Now, after a particularly gruesome incident, it ought to be the scene of a real-life police and RSPCA visitation.


In May this year, when The Steeple Times reported on a red kite attacking a 2-year-old toddler (with the amusingly ironic name of Frankie Bird) for a custard cream in Henley-on-Thames, we also mentioned incidents of wallabies bounding around the vicinity of the ritzy town previously most famous for its annual regatta.


Supposedly escapees from a nearby private zoo along with a chimpanzee also in 2002, the “delinquent” (according to the Evening Standard) wallabies of Henley – like other wildlife that does as it wishes in these environs – suffered a calamity courtesy of Brand’s deviant dog last Monday.


According to The Sun, vegan rent-a-gob Brand’s German Shepherd dog, Bear, caught a female wallaby “whilst it had its baby in its pouch” and “mauled it to death.”


Unlike with another irresponsible dog owner previously featured by The Steeple Times, Rebecca Sabben-Clare QC – whose snarling terrier tore a defenceless seal apart in March this year – the media has yet to tear into Brand for not having kept his dog on a lead. Unbelievably, instead, they bigged up this brazen bozo as a “brave… funnyman.”


Bizarrely terming this complete and utter wazzock wastrel  “quick thinking” and a hero,” but neglecting to condemn him for allowing his out-of-control pet for disgustingly slaying another animal, the paper instead focused on how the crackpot comedian “sprang into action.”


One is now simply left asking: “Why is The Sun so ludicrously lauding Russell Brand for ‘rescuing’ the victim’s offspring joey from its pouch as its parent died the most hideous of deaths, when it was, in fact, his very own self-declared ‘tornado of fear’ dog that caused this utterly avoidable incident?”


If Brand’s dog had attacked sheep or a child – which it quite potentially could do next given it plainly has a clear penchant for blood – would The Sun so easily have leapt to his defence? The hypocrisy of this shocking story is clear and today we call upon the RSPCA and police to intervene before Brand’s dog slaughters something else.


Thatched Cottage Russell Brand Lewis Laurence Fox
Russell Brand’s home, Thatched Cottage at Mile End Reach, near Henley-on-Thames was used for the filming of two episodes of ‘Lewis’ – starring Kevin Whately and Laurence Fox – before being sold to the crackpot ‘comedian’ circa 2016.
Russell Brand dog Bear
Russell Brand with his killer dog, Bear. Unsurprisingly and quite possibly an invented source ridiculously remarked of the rabid beast to ‘The Sun’ yesterday: “Absolutely no one is blaming Russell or his dog — it’s just a horrible accident. In fact, Russell was the hero because he managed to save the little joey. It could have been far worse if he hadn’t stepped in so quickly. He is a very caring man with animals – he has plenty of pets and they’re all his babies. I understand he’s devastated over what happened. It’s really sad.”
Russell Brand dog bear lamb kitten
Brand’s dog, Bear, with a lamb that one can only hope was not injured subsequently and looking especially savage whilst with its owner’s kittens.
Weird wildlife Henley-on-Thames
Prior to Russell Brand’s dog, Bear, going on the rampage, the weird wildlife of Henley-on-Thames was able to roam freely and without incident. His dog, Bear, now, must be classified as a very grave danger and the police and RSPCA must act.
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. The dog needs to be put down for health and safety reasons. If it has killed once, it will kill again. It now has the taste for murder.

    Also, how did this story end up in the paper? Russell Brand trying to promote himself again?

  2. Rusty Rockets Russell Brand is filth!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Scum!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not send Down Under as our beautiful kangaroos do not need to be harmed by him and his out of control animal pack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He can keep away from our Sheilas too ——- as I have read previous that he is filthy dirty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep the beast in England and euthanise the dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Russell Brand needs a rocket up his arse and the dog requires a lethal injection. It is as evil at its owner – trained by the Jew baiter no doubter.

  4. It is not the fault of the poor dog. Bear needs to be rehomed and protected from the irresponsible owner. Why was Bear not kept on a lead in an area where wallabies were roaming? Russell Brand is to blame, not the poor dog.

  5. This article made me cry – Why did Russell Brand go to the media and tell them about this? Did someone see his dog savaging the wallaby? How else did The Sun know?

  6. The killer dog should have been shot. Period. Disgraceful.

    As for Brand, don’t get me started as what I would do with this anti-Semite.

  7. Well things must be a little quiet for Brand at the moment, he obviously needs a little publicity. Like Eric mentioned, this crackpot needs a rocket up his arse.
    By the way, I like the picture of the pair of them, but which one is the Rabid dog?

  8. All the wallabies must be culled. All of them. They are an invasive species to the UK and if left to their own devices, will wreak havoc on the native flora and farm crops. They just shouldn’t be in England.
    They have no road sense, just like Kangaroos – And can be the cause of accidents, mostly to themselves but if you hit one it’s very traumatizing and costly.
    That’s why we have warning road signs in Australia.


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