Wednesday, February 28, 2024

So, Prince Andrew, You’ve Been Publicly Shamed

As Prince Andrew becomes an ideal case study for Jon Ronson’s ‘So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed’ after his £12 million settlement with Virginia Giuffre, we ask: “Where next for this non-sweater and his spendaholic live-in ex-wife?”

Unsurprisingly, after it was announced he’d reached a preliminary settlement with Virginia Giuffre on Tuesday afternoon, Prince Andrew was yet again slammed for his poor judgment and poor choice of friends.


Totaling a sum of “more than £12 million ($16.2 million, €14.3 million or درهم59.7 million)” if The Telegraph’s Victoria Ward and Josie Ensor are to be believed, the undisclosed out of court settlement awarded to a trafficked lady who claimed to have been forced into having sexual relations and been raped on three occasions when she was just 17 marks a remarkable turnabout.


Prince Andrew Virginia Roberts Ghislaine Maxwell 44 Kinnerton Street Belgravia 2001
They say: “A picture paints a thousand words” and this picture, taken on 10th March 2001, at the home of the since convicted mucky madam sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell did that all over the world for the “chubby fingered” grabber Prince Andrew. It went viral and in spite of the claims of lascivious loons like Lady Victoria Hervey about it being Photoshopped, it has never been discredited.
Prince Andrew NSPCC child abuse appeal 1999
Ironically, in March 1999, Prince Andrew was referenced in an article in ‘The Sun’ about “a crusade about child abuse.” At the time, he declared: “It’s an outrage we must end. We must act and should our responsibility. Failure isn’t an option.” Only two years later, he found himself in the company of a 17-year-old sex trafficked girl in the form of Virginia Giuffre courtesy of his child abuser mates Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. What did he do? He subsequently denied having even having met her, yet now has paid her in excess of £12 million. Strange that, strange that.
Ghislaine Maxwell Duke of York email
An email sent by the Duke of York on Saturday 3rd January 2015 at 5.50am to Ghislaine Maxwell was definitely key to his undoing. For a man who denied having met his accuser, it seems strange that he messaged his alleged one-time lover Maxwell and stated: “Let me know when we can talk. Got some specific questions to ask you about Virginia Roberts.”
Ghislaine Maxwell Alan Dershowitz
A subsequent email, sent to Ghislaine Maxwell by lawyer and Jeffrey Epstein associate Alan Dershowitz – who is currently involved in a defamation lawsuit brought by Virginia Giuffre – a week later on Saturday 10th January 2015 at 3.14pm, read: “Dear G, Do you know whether the photo of Andrew and Virginia is real? You are in the background.” Clearly considering the matter important, Robert Maxwell’s deviant daughter responded within 11 minutes at 3.25pm and answered: “It looks real. I think it is. Warmly, G.” That very relevant email surfaced only recently and after being leaked was published in the ‘Daily Mail’ yesterday; if it had been seen by Prince Andrew it most certainly would have influenced his decision to settle.
Prince Andrew laughing stock Jimmy Savile Pizza Express
The Duke of York will go down in history as one the royal family’s most notable laughing stocks. Pilloried across the globe and mocked up as the late paedophile Sir Jimmy Savile even, here is a playboy prince whose painfully pathetic excuses eventually quite deservedly brought his privileged world crashing down.
In predictably out-of-touch form, the BBC’s royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell – once derided by Prince Charles who commented of him: “I can’t bear that man. I mean, he’s so awful, he really is” – suggested Prince Andrew could possibly “find a route back to public life” by campaigning for the victims of sex trafficking. Though clearly Witchell has visions of the Queen’s second son redeeming his reputation from rotten and reviled to once again revered in the fashion of John Profumo, this seems extremely far-fetched and predictably cack-handed comment outraged many on social media.

In a joint statement issued by power broker lawyer David Boies, it was declared:


“Virginia Giuffre and Prince Andrew have reached an out of court settlement.”


“The parties will file a stipulated dismissal upon Ms Giuffre’s receipt of the settlement (the sum of which is not being disclosed). Prince Andrew intends to make a substantial donation to Ms Giuffre’s charity in support of victims’ rights.


“Prince Andrew has never intended to malign Ms Giuffre’s character, and he accepts that she has suffered both as an established victim of abuse and as a result of unfair public attacks.”


“It is known that Jeffrey Epstein trafficked countless young girls over many years.”


“Prince Andrew regrets his association with Epstein, and commends the bravery of Ms Giuffre and other survivors in standing up for themselves and others.”


“He pledges to demonstrate his regret for his association with Epstein by supporting the fight against the evils of sex trafficking, and by supporting its victims.”


Responding to the statement, Los Angeles trial attorney Christa Ramey tellingly remarked: “The prince definitely had something to fear from the case moving forward, that’s why it was settled essentially without lawyers conducting any discovery,” whilst councillor Darryl Smalley of York Council added: “Following the news that Prince Andrew has reached a financial settlement in the sexual abuse lawsuit brought against him, we are reiterating our calls for his title as the Duke of York to be removed.”


Going further and totally slamming the renegade royal, media lawyer Mark Stephens told the PA news agency: “[Prince Andrew] is reputationally toast and will never appear on a royal balcony ever again and has effectively been airbrushed from polite society and the royal family.”


Pictured top – Mouthy mouse-not-a-man Prince Andrew claimed that he never went out in London without a jacket and tie, this picture proved that claim a lie (left); Prince Andrew might now do well to read Jon Ronson’s ‘So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed,’ it might offer him a little hope as he tries to forge a new life (centre) and Prince Andrew pictured guffawing in military regalia, he won’t be doing much of that in the coming years (right).



Given he’s well and truly pissed off Prince Charles and Prince William, aside from likely losing his position as a Counsellor of State – as was suggested by the Daily Mail’s Richard Eden in January – shamed Prince Andrew may well also soon find himself turfed out of the Grade II listed mansion where he’s lived since 2003.


The freehold of Royal Lodge – said to have an “open market value of at least £30 million ($40.6 million, €35.8 million or درهم149.2 million)” – is owned by the Crown Estate and if Prince Andrew and his live-in ex-wife (resident there since 2008) are asked to disappear into obscurity by the royal family, instead, this pair of national embarrassments could instead:


Duke and Duchess of Sussex Ginge Cringe Montecito

Move in with ‘Ginge & Cringe’?


Given this demanding duo like to live large and spend big, living in ‘La La Land’ in the £10.3 million ($14 million, €12.2 million or درهم51.4 million) mansion of his equally tiresome exiled nephew might well appeal to the disgraced Duke of York.


Whilst ‘Randy Andy’ could busy his days ogling Californian blondes and playing golf with the drip Prince Harry at the Jack Nicklaus designed Montecito Club, it’d be a delight for ‘Fergie’ to be close to her old mucker Oprah Winfrey. Maybe they could team up with the former Meghan Markle and make some scones and wonga together. That’d solve a few financial woes and pay for a Bentley or two.


The price:

Well, who knows, but you can guess your bottom dollar that ‘MeGain’ would want as much as she could get for her guest cottage. She is a broad, after all, with a penchant for raking in millions from Netflix and Spotify.


We reckon:

Whilst very appealing in many ways as Americans do love royals of any kind, Prince Andrew might well to do well avoiding America for the rest of his life. He wouldn’t want a visit from the FBI and a potential criminal case after all.


Holm of Huip island

Buy themselves a private island off Scotland?


Helicopter loving Prince Andrew could instead whisk his live-in ex-wife off to live on the currently uninhabited 61.77-acre Holm of Huip private island in the Orkney Isles.


Complete with its own pod of seals and once occupied by Vikings, selling agents Vladi Private Islands remark of it: “The island can certainly be described as well-connected” and emphasise that the remains of three stone houses could be “renovated and made habitable.”


The price:

Given the prince and his ex-wife are no doubt now of much reduced means, they’d welcome the thank the price has moved from £350,000 ($474,000, €417,000 or درهم1.7 million) in January 2015 to “offers welcomed.”


We reckon:

Given this island has been on the market for so long, the ‘No Longer So Grand Old Duke of York’ could probably do a part exchange on the island and trade in his Bentley for it.


However, though it’d suit the public a treat to see this pair of grubby grabbers castaway, the local wildlife may not be so welcoming of witnessing Fergie having her toes sucked on the island’s long, sandy southern beach.


Falkland Islands

Head back for a non-sweaty encounter in the Falkland Islands?


Given he didn’t totally disgrace himself and was even lauded as a hero for his actions there by some after he fought there in 1982, returning to the Falkland Islands could be a good way out for Jeffrey Epstein’s former bestie.


Joining a total population of around 3,400 people might well also appeal to the chatterbox ‘Fergie’ since it is “a very social place” and “stopping for a chat is a way of life.” She could get the locals involved in her Fergie & Friends YouTube channel. Wouldn’t that be swell?


The price:

There are no estate agents on the Falklands and to acquire land, you do require a licence from the Attorney General. A brand spanking new timber framed kit house might seem like a veritable bargain to the Duke of York and Sarah, Duchess of York as one could cost them just £80,000 ($108,000, €95,300 or درهم398,000), but there’s one major issue: Given there’s no Pizza Express in the territory, what would ‘Randy’ do when he wanted a good old Sloppy Giuseppe?


We reckon:

Andrew Windsor claimed in his 2019 BBC interview with Emily Maitlis that going to the islands caused him “a peculiar medical condition which is that I don’t sweat or I didn’t sweat at the time and that was… was it… yes, I didn’t sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the Falklands War when I was shot at and I simply… it was almost impossible for me to sweat.”


Going back wouldn’t require the pair taking a container load of deodorant, but according to The Guardian: “In a place where everybody knows everybody’s business, there’s no hope of minding your own.” That might prove a bit problematic if ‘Randy’ gets a bit handy with any young lady down at the local in the capital, Stanley.


Peter Nygard Nygard Cay Jeffrey Epstein Paedo Island Little St James and Great St James

Perform a coup and take over the croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s empty ‘Paedo Island’ or the incarcerated awaiting trial alleged paedo Peter Nygard’s Nygård Cay home?


Both the Duke of York and Sarah, Duchess of York liked holidaying in luxury residences owned by the croaked paedophile Jeffrey Epstein and the alleged and currently incarcerated paedophile Peter Nygård. On occasions, they even took their daughters Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie.


Despite being scenes of disgusting depravity on an epic scale, we’re certain the most rotten royal ratbags since the late Duke and Duchess of Windsor would be willing to gloss over that and focus on “livin’ la vida loca.” Fergie’s most definitely rather good at that; well, she’s actually rather spiffingly good at that until a ‘Fake Sheikh’ comes along.


The price:

Neither paedo property is likely to be in the price range of a couple who’ve lived beyond their means for most of their lives. Jeffrey Epstein spent circa £19.2 million ($26 million, €22.9 million or درهم95.5 million) on Little St James and Great St James islands whilst Nygård allegedly sought £43.6 million ($59 million, €51.9 million or درهم216.7 million) for his crib.


We reckon:

Despite lapping it up in luxury they’d never have to pay for, the ‘Rotten Old Duke of York’ and his ex-wife missus would find themselves on a hiding to nothing with these properties. After all, they wouldn’t even be able to find the coppers to keep the electricity meters running for half a day given the bills Prince Andrew’s now facing.



Twitter 1
Amongst those commenting on Tuesday’s development were Nazir Afzal OBE, former Chief Crown Prosecutor for North West England and Richard Eden of the ‘Daily Mail.’ Mr Afzal remarked: “He is willing to pay [Virginia Giuffre] large sums of money for something he denies. Make of that what you will” whilst Mr Eden added: “Prince Andrew should be banned from public events.”
Twitter 2
The BBC’s ‘Have I Got News For You’ brought up two-for-one offers at Pizza Express whilst others condemned the rotten royal as a “toxic asset both to the royal family and the UK.”
Twitter 3
Others enquired: “Who exactly is paying for Prince Andrew’s settlement?” whilst plenty suggested: “If he was entirely innocent and had never met [Virginia Roberts], he wouldn’t have settled.”
Twitter 4
Art expert Dr Bendor Grosvenor declared: “We hereby award Prince Andrew the Order of the Moron” whilst the actor Hugh Osborne brought the Britain’s equally loathed lothario Prime Minister into it. He concluded: “War in Ukraine. Prince Andrew. Fair do’s to Boris Johnson: he knows how to lay his hands on a dead cat.”


Duke of York nonce
The new world for the Queen’s second son is not going to be pleasant. Graffiti labelling him a “sweaty nonce” has been scrawled on a number of walls across Britain already and there will be likely even more of the same to come.
Prince Charles Greta Thunberg Prince William Duchess of Cambridge
The Duke of York’s downfall was most definitely speeded up at the behest of Prince Charles and his son Prince William. They, unlike the overprivileged prat forced into a climbdown on Tuesday, realised the importance of concluding this most disgraceful and embarrassing chapter.
Boris Johnson Duke of York Carrie Johnson
In January 2015, after the allegations of Virginia Giuffre against the Duke of York were revealed, the then Mayor of London Boris Johnson responded by commenting: “Prince Andrew, let’s be very clear, is a guy who does a huge amount of unsung, unheralded work for this country and people, they go on and on about air miles and so on – actually, I’ve seen that guy get out there and sell this country, try and help British firms to get business around the world. He does a huge amount of good and a huge amount of hard work. So, if you ask me whether I have sympathy for him, of course I do.” At that time, the prince’s live-in ex-wife ‘Feckless Fergie’ added: “He is the greatest man there is.” Perhaps it is now time for this disgraceful pair to eat their words.
Duke of York Bill Clinton Ghislaine Maxwell Buckingham Palace God Save The Queen girl
Whilst Prince Andrew has pretended not to remember hanging out with Ghislaine Maxwell and President Bill Clinton at Buckingham Palace, this recently surfaced picture showed him up yet again. In it, a young girl (face blurred) is shown wearing a “God Save The Queen” T-shirt.
Duke of York President Bill Clinton golf
Regular ‘Lolita Express’ flyer President Bill Clinton (pictured here in 1999 golfing with the Duke of York) could be next on the target list for the victims of Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. He certainly has a lot of questions to answer.
Royal Lodge Windsor
Will the Duke of York and his live-in ex-wife be forced out of Royal Lodge, Windsor? If they remain there in close proximity to the Queen, they will undoubtedly remain under scrutiny and it is likely that Prince Charles and Prince William will attempt to have them moved on.
Sunninghill Park
Equally troublesome for Prince Andrew right now is the fact his name is due to be mentioned in another court case, a High Court money laundering case involving his former marital home, Sunninghill Park. Though the house constructed for the royal couple has been demolished and replaced, the ghosts of the House of York are coming back to haunt.
Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


  1. Enjoyed your piece about Andrew but don’t think it is right to compare Harry and Meghan’s decision to leave the “Firm” to Andrews criminal association with sex trafficked young women as equally troublesome.
    Today the Police launched a criminal investigation into Prince Charles cash for honours scandal today. It was more than sensible for Harry and Meghan to leave the firm.
    Andrews scandal has been handled appallingly. The Queen Camilla announcement was terrible timing. Prince Charles selling honours for cash that didn’t even reach his charities is beyond belief. The firm” is a rotten sinking ship. No amount of wishful thinking can claim the Queens diamond jubilee celebrations will not be affected by their own appalling incompetence.

  2. Well I see, She ain’t no lady, Victoria Hervey has blasted Virginia Giuffre as a scam artist, just hours after Andy decided to settle out of court.
    She said, “Virginia wanted to settle very fast when all the truth was coming out” I would suggest it’s completely the opposite. He that doesn’t sweat was the one that didn’t want the truth coming out, he has a few more secrets in his closet he doesn’t want exposed. Also, it begs the question, why would an innocent person pay somebody if he was innocent?
    I had a chuckle at this, this morning:
    The grand old Duke of York
    he had 12 million quid
    He gave it to someone he never met
    for something he never did..

  3. Meghan and Harry who? Yikes!!
    Andrew is a ninny..double yikes!!
    The Queen a bit of a treasure Id say…
    Charles and Camilla look like retired, pampered war horses…poor things..thank God for gin and cigarettes ..

  4. Not publicly shamed as far as I’m concerned Matthew!

    But do keep putting us through the threshing machine of your massive intellect!!


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