Friday, February 23, 2024

A Pair of Privileged Pillocks – Lord Rothermere and Lady Victoria Hervey

As Lord Rothermere shows desperation in his bid to take the Daily Mail and General Trust private, he trips up by giving promotional pages to privileged pillocks like Lady Victoria Hervey

Very, very, very rich aristocrat Jonathan Harmsworth, The Right Honourable The 4th Viscount Rothermere – a tycoon struggling to buy back shares in his very own company in spite of upping his offer from 251p a share to 270p last week – clearly isn’t having the best of times of late.


Instead of trying to appeal to shareholders by focusing on his organisation’s undoubted strengths as a media giant this weekend, Lord Rothermere did nothing to stop Martin Clarke – the “chief architect of the MailOnline” and the creator of his paper’s clearly “best bit,” its ‘Sidebar of Shame’ – announcing he will be “stepping down and will leave next year.” How on earth could any sensible media conglomerate chairman allow such a key lieutenant to leave – especially at this time?


In failing to intervene, the Harmsworth family vehicle, Rothermere Continuation Limited, gave an ‘up-yours’ to those very same shareholders and instead told them Friday that their last offer was also “its final offer and would not be increased.” One is left asking in response: “Has Johnny Rothermere actually lost his marbles?”


Making matters worse and showing that they would rather focus on sensationalising trashbags of their own class than actually selling newspapers, Lord Rothermere clearly didn’t intervene when a rehashed article about the ultimate ‘TwIt Girl’ Lady Hervey – a washed-up wastrel, fellow aristocrat whom disgustingly stated: “F*ck BLM” in 2020 – was published on Saturday night.


In a pointless piece by self-declared on Twitter “scary bitch” Lydia Spencer-Elliott for MailOnline, Lady Victoria was ludicrously lauded as “never [failing] to wow with her phenomenal toned figure” in spite of the fact that this “former socialite” looked like something dragged in off a trawler boat after a storm.


Going further of a person she ridiculously described as looking “flawless as she caught some rays” in Miami, Spencer-Elliott cringeworthily crowed: “The blonde beauty forewent sunglasses and shielded her eyes with her hand as her tresses bounced around her shoulders in glamorous curls. Lady Victoria’s skimpy swimwear featured stylish zip details at the hips and emphasised her assets with its colourful panelling.” Who actually wrote this? Her pointless PR prattler?


The so-called journalist Spencer-Elliott, however, neglected to bother with any actual journalism and said nothing of Lady Victoria’s bizarre remarks about her “friendship” with “full of life” Ghislaine Maxwell and nothing about her disgustingly boasting about being taught how to give blowjobs at Jeffrey Epstein’s house.


Come on Lord Rothermere – If, after ridding yourself of Miss Maxwell’s friend and former Daily Mail editor Geordie Greig amongst others, you want to take your empire to another level, actually employ people some people capable of writing something relevant.


Pictured top: Jonathan Harmsworth, 4th Viscount Rothermere (left); washed-up wastrel Lady Victoria Hervey (right).


Lady Victoria Hervey and Ghislaine Maxwell
Lady Victoria Hervey is ALWAYS capable of making a fool of herself, but her remarks about her alleged mucky madam ‘friend’ Ghislaine Maxwell really have made an utter berk of her.
Lady Victoria Hervey and Jeffrey Epstein
The ‘aristoprat’ has also tripped herself up previously in uttering kindly words about the late paedophile Jeffrey Epstein. After readfing them, one is left asking: “Is this halfwit on acid?”
Viscount and Viscountess Rothermere
The strategy of the 4th Viscount Rothermere (pictured with his garden gentrification loving wife Claudia) to take the DMGT private doesn’t quite seem to be going to plan. Allowing his staff to pen articles about annoying ‘aristoprats’ certainly won’t be endearing to shareholders, however.
Geordie Greig and Ghislaine Maxwell
Ghislaine Maxwell gyrating with mate since the early 2000s Geordie Greig behind her. In September 2018, Eton and Oxford educated Greig became editor of the ‘Daily Mail’ and stories published in support of those he knows are often described as having been ‘FOGged’ (‘Friend of Geordie-ed’). He is amongst the many who didn’t surive the latest cull at the DMGT.
Lydia Spencer-Elliott
‘MailOnline’ journalist Lydia Spencer-Elliott didn’t exactly produce prize winning journalism with her article about the daughter of the 6th Marquess of Bristol this weekend. Her descriptions of this pillock were frankly nothing other than laughable.

Classic clangers from privileged pillock and former ‘It Girl’ Lady Victoria Hervey

Described by the by-contrast lovely, late fellow ‘It Girl’ Tara Palmer-Tomkinson as “unpleasant” and “a right snob,” here is a woman who has come out with some of the most stupid statements ever. They include:


  • “I am Lady Victoria Hervey – it doesn’t get more British than that.”
  • “I don’t want to make enemies.”
  • “Fuck BLM [Black Lives Matter].”
  • “I’m not going to lie, I never wear [a face mask]… I storm out of any shop [that asks me to put one on].”
  • “[I used to sell PPE at the start of the pandemic]… But I did a little pivot [and stopped]… I was selling it to hospitals, not to people out walking their dogs or shopping.”
  • “[Asked: ‘Would you ever take the Covid vaccine?’]… No way! It’s a personal thing, and my mother’s had hers, but at my age I really believe in natural immunity.”
  • “Unless it’s champagne, I can’t handle it.”
  • “I’m an A-list celebrity and this is a C-list party.”
  • “I do have a day job.”
  • “My career always goes much better when I haven’t got a man.”
  • “A baby is easy – you hand them over to a nanny!”
  • “I’m kind of into star signs and I want my baby to have a sign that’s compatible with mine. It’s to plan though… We’ll just have to see… We’ll do the embryos and then I’ll figure out which month I’d like the baby to be born.”
  • “[Of having six of her eggs frozen at a cost of £11,000]: I had a friend who was going to be my sperm donor. He was going to be involved in my child’s life, but as a friend, not a partner. And I was supposed to be pregnant now. But then Covid happened, which was a big blow, but looking back I’m really grateful I didn’t do it with that person.”
  • ‘He just wasn’t right
  • “I’m not stupid. I’m not a dumb model.”
  • “[I aim to become] the next Kate Winslet – but with class.”
  • “I have had four past lives, three of them as a man. I was a composer in 17th-century Paris, I made materials in India and in Ancient Greece I was a famous politician. In Ancient Egypt I was keeper of the oils for the Pharaoh’s wife, and I love oils so it all kind of fits.”
  • “I feel I’ve aged 100 years in lockdown. I’ve had Botox, of course.”
  • “What annoys me is when these families have got like 12 children and we’re paying for these kids… They work out that they make more money being on the dole than having a job, they just laze around.”
  • “The real irony of this is that the poor get poorer and the rich get richer.”
  • “Travelling is in my blood, and so is liking luxurious things and spending.”
  • “I haven’t given up on men, there are a few of them around, but I keep leaving every city I meet them in.”
  • “Everyone from Europe wants to buy houses in LA.”
  • “I was too old for Jeffrey Epstein… [He seemed] very charming… He was a very well-liked guy.”
  • “I’m not one of those kind of girls, I don’t like going to dinners with ten models invited… I was very young and impressionable, Jeffrey was a very charismatic man.”
  • “I haven’t seen [Ghislaine Maxwell] since September [2018] at a friend’s baby shower… I don’t think anyone is going to find her. She’s gone far away. She’s a bit like a James Bond character. She’s quite a unique person and I don’t believe anyone is going to find her… I don’t think we will ever see her again, it’s going to be like Robert Maxwell continued; she will continue that family mystery.”
  • “I had no idea what was going on [with Jeffrey Epstein]… It’s extraordinary it’s the case, it’s a wild story.”
  • “I suddenly thought, I’m just Victoria Hervey… Horrible.”


Responses to supposedly 44-year-old privileged pillock Lady Victoria’s latest comments from ‘MailOnline’ readers

  • “How is this woman always 44 years old? … She’s at least 54 years old… She has been 44 for the past 20 years… 44? She’s at least 49… 44 + VAT… 44? And the rest!”
  • “Who writes this rubbish? … Yawn… Every flippin’ cliché in the book.”
  • “Oh no, it’s her again… Scurvy Hervey, the sailor’s call her. Below decks, she smells like Portsmouth at low tide, they say, and she’s been plumbed more often than Kentish Knock. Stay away boys, stay away.”
  • “Been round the block more than a New York cab.”
  • “Not ageing well… Skeletal… Knees don’t lie… Awful figure, looks like my ironing board.”
  • “Gormless… Deluded old nobody… What the hell does this pointless woman do?”
  • “Absolutely stuck up her own behind.”
  • “Starting to think she is a bloke… I thought he’d transitioned? … That’s some lunchbox. Is she a he?”
  • “This is the type of woman that would drive Macron wild.”
  • “Please seek urgent medical help.”
  • “Plank of wood springs to mind.”
  • “No wonder she’s alone and childless… She’s got the body of a scrawny old woman.”
  • “This article never recovered from the blatant lie in the very first sentence. It went downhill from there… Much like Hervey’s ‘toned figure.’ What a pointless joke article, with the text recycled almost verbatim from the last advert for her swimwear range.”
  • “A life on earth with no reason. She would have been eaten and regurgitated in the wild.”
  • “She always seems to be alone… Mel B disagrees.”
  • “Bone idle woman. Doesn’t know what work is… Idle rich… Get a job you sponger… Has she ever worked a day in her pointless life?”
  • “She ain’t no lady.”


Matthew Steeples
Matthew Steeples
A graduate of the London School of Economics, Matthew Steeples is a writer and marketing consultant. He conceived The Steeple Times as a media arena to fill the void between the Mail Online, The Huffington Post and such organs as the New York Social Diary in 2012.


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