Tag: joke

Moneybags Madeley’s £500k Pay Day

Alleged shoplifter turned moneybags man Richard Madeley can certainly now afford to actually pay for Krug champagne after landing a £500k pay day with ITV

Tellybox twerp Richard Madeley well and truly hit the jackpot this morning with revelations that he’s getting £200,000 to appear on ITV1’s I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! this month as well as an annual salary of £300,000 to present the same channel’s Good Morning Britain going forward from December.

First reported by the MailOnline’s Eve Buckland, news that motormouthed Madeley will replace Piers Morgan on Good Morning Britain “alongside a revolving team of guest presenters” was immediately condemned on social media. According to Buckland, Judy Finnigan’s annoying husband “is expected to host for two or three days a week.”

Assessing why the former This Morning co-host – whose cringeworthy car crash Alan Partridge-esque moments we feature below – decided to take on the role, a source commented:

“[Richard had a] heart to heart [with Judy]… [He] has always maintained he would never do GMB full-time, as he loves his life as it is.”

“But as the weeks have gone by, and he’s proven a constant hit with viewers, he’s really got into his stride and has been enjoying it more and more. He polls really well with fans and ratings have steadily been on the rise again over the past six months.”

“After a couple of meetings with ITV bosses, he was offered a full-time contract. And after consulting with his family, especially wife Judy, he decided ‘sod it’ – and to go for it.”

On Twitter, one user, Matthew Payne, declared of the channel’s decision: “Money for old rope. A sad, biased, ill-informed prat” whilst another, Rob McGuire, added: “[He’s just] a tactless, ignorant, rich, Tory clown.” Going further, quite rightly, John Slater concluded: “The bottom of the barrel has well and truly been scraped.”

‘Moneybags Madeley’ – whose washed-up wastrel wife is best known for necking rather than sipping her booze and flashing her tits at awards ceremonies – must be doing cartwheels. He’ll no longer have to worry about being accused of shoplifting champagne when heading down the booze aisle at Waitrose. The Krug’s most definitely now on him.

‘Moneybags Madeley’ – as he will henceforth also be known – is often compared to the inept comedy character broadcaster Alan Partridge. They not only look alike, but also are equally incompetent and tactless. Twitter users regularly condemn Romford, Essex born Madeley as “daft” and as a “pompous prat.”

‘Moneybags Madeley’ once dressed up as Ali G to present ‘This Morning.’ It was later voted “one of the worst moments in television history.”

In April this year, we revealed that the one-time classmate of ‘Spreadsheet Phil,’ the former Tory chancellor Philip Hammond, Madeley was being followed by Ghislaine Maxwell’s PR team on Twitter and that he’d written two columns in the ‘Daily Express’ in which he expressed “empathy” for the currently incarcerated alleged mucky madam.

‘Moneybags’ Madeley’s Finest Moments

On his son’s wedding

“There’s been so much angst about it… It’s been so choppy, but, yes, he got married and now we’ve got a daughter-in-law.”

Of his daughter

“Sorry Chloe, but you were an accident and you know it!”

In conversation with President Clinton

“I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent.”

Of women

“I’ve never met a single woman who’s happy with the way she looks, except Jordan, although I’ve never met her.”

Of alleged mucky madam Ghislaine Maxwell

“The sharks are circling; they smell blood in the water… Cynics would say the [FBI] agency is playing a long game, seeking to sway the minds of jurors in advance of Maxwell’s trial next year… Innocent until proven guilty? That honourable credo is in shreds.”

“Firstly, consider the conditions under which Ms Maxwell is being held. They are truly grim… It would take a heart of stone not to feel empathy for another human being suffering what amounts to mental torture. To coin a phrase: you wouldn’t treat a dog like that.”

“But it’s not sadism, or premature punishment ahead of a verdict. No; there’s calculated purpose behind this pitiless regime. But, here’s another prediction… it will. They’re trying to break her.”

On elephants

“So, are you telling me elephants are not born evil?”

To a man crying after paramedics saved his life

“Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway, after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it!”

Showing sympathy for people who died in quicksand in Morecambe Bay

“Yes, what an awful way to die.”

In Nostradamus-like fashion on coronavirus and lockdowns

“We are being duped… [They are trying to] put the fear of God into the public. A great reckoning is coming.”

“There’s no point in running away and hiding from the virus.”

“We must learn to live with coronavirus.”

“If I had a bell, I would ring it… Only 59 people who have been double vaccinated and without any other serious underlying health problems, died from COVID, out of 50,000 deaths in England, this year.”

“I have to say that the majority of people are surprisingly forgiving [to government representative Steve Barclay], and are actually saying that they understand that the reason for some of the mistakes wasn’t malpractice but scientific ignorance – we didn’t know enough… But on the whole, you seem to be getting away with it – as far as our viewers are concerned.”

Of old women skipping

“There’s not many better things than seeing an older woman skipping.”

Of wanting to be black

“I hope when I’m reincarnated I come back black because you age better.”

To Keira Knightley

“Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore.”

Of an autistic teenager

“The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s ‘Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”

To a caller

“I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”

Judy Finnigan’s decision to defend footballer Ched Evans – jailed for 5 years in 2012 for allegedly raping a 19-year-old – on ‘Loose Women’ in October 2014 shocked the nation. Responding at the time, Katie Russell, of Rape Crisis England and Wales remarked: “Judy Finnegan’s comments are really unfortunate and could potentially cause some hurt and distress to the many survivors of sexual violence who will inevitably have been watching ‘Loose Women’ and who will read and hear her views reported.”

‘Moneybags’ Madeley and Finnigan are often pictured out boozing. Often, ‘Mummy Finnigan’ looks a little beyond pissed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcx3FUarNiI&feature=emb_logo
Whilst ‘Dorian Gray-esque’ Richard Madeley is best known for helping himself to champagne in supermarkets, his wife Judy Finnigan will be forever remembered for flashing at an awards ceremony in 2000.

November 3, 2021
A Perverted Parish

Internationally infamous Handforth parish council member Brendan Murphy faces jail for calling his neighbours “perverted” and a “tart” and a “peeping Tom”

Handforth parish council became infamous in December when a “doughty clerk” named Jackie Weaver mercilessly “kicked out” argumentative male councillors whilst “barely blinking when being yelled at” by them.

By February this year, the council’s meeting were being “dogged by rows again,” but now further scandal has emerged after one of its members, Councillor Brendan Murphy, was convicted of harassing his neighbours over a 13-year period.

Whilst the bickering councillors of Handforth provided light amusement for millions at the height of December’s lockdown, 79-year-old Councillor Murphy it seems is headed to jail for labelling his elderly neighbours “perverts” and “The Tart” and “The Peeping Tom.”

“Maverick” Murphy, currently a member of the Real Independent Group and the “first Macc Tory to ever be sacked” in December 2001 according to the Macclesfield Express, was found guilty of two charges of harassment at Stockport Magistrates’ Court last Friday.

Featured in the Daily Mail earlier this week, Murphy stood accused of “hounding” his neighbours Christopher and Margaret Boyd “with barbed comments after they fell out over a dispute about local gossip… and alleging he was underpaying his council tax.”

With police called on over 19 separate occasions, Murphy – whom unsuccessfully (unsurprisingly) stood for Parliament for the Conservative Party in the Vale of Clywd in 2001 – Mr Murphy told the court:

“I call Mr Boyd a ‘Peeping Tom’ and his wife a ‘Tart’ for a good reason and I think my legal response is justifiable.”

“I saw a CCTV camera on the wall filming me and I jokingly said, ‘I see you are a peeping Tom.’ I also said: ‘Mind you don’t fall off that roof, I cannot give you the kiss of life,’ but that was a joke too.”

“On one of the occasions, I was out with my dog. Mr and Mrs Boyd were walking down the road hand in hand swinging their arms looked very happy.”

“I said: ‘I’m glad to see you are so happy’ but instead of crossing the road she lurched into me and the dog whimpered in pain and that is when I called her a tart.”

“I think they are making a big deal out of this. I do not do it every day. I am an elected active councillor and I do a lot of community work.”

“There have been instances where I did say in response to them and they would stare, laugh, and sneer.”

“Mr Boyd is a very active DIY man with improving the garden, etc. His garage is his workshop, and he makes a loud noise that I do not want to hear.”

“People use the word ‘tart’ in lots of different ways and I will continue calling them a Peeping Tom and a tart as long as the cameras are still there.”

“I say these words 100 times when I see the cameras and it just gets it off my chest. There are nastier things I could say.”

Responding after being convicted, Murphy of 6 Hilton Road, Disley, Cheshire, SK12 2JU “confirmed that he intends to remain as a Cheshire East councillor” and boldly declared: “An immediate appeal will be launched, I am confident the conviction will be overturned.”

Previously, in April 2012, Brendan Murphy was found guilty of harassing Mr and Mrs Boyd. At that time he was fined £300 for harassment, ordered to pay £1,500 in court costs and given a restraining order prohibiting “him from speaking to or making gestures at the Boyds,” according to Macclesfield Live.

Murphy, the kind of person even “snitchin’” Priti Patel wouldn’t welcome to her street, will be sentenced on 26^th April. He remains on unconditional bail until then, but will go down in history with the likes of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and Zipporah Lisle-Mainwaring as an ultimate neighbour from hell.

A Perverted Parish 2021 – The row between Brendan Murphy and his neighbours Christopher and Margaret Boyd escalated after they installed a fence in 2007 as part of an attempt to stop him harassing them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB3P_0GAi0I
A Perverted Parish 2021 – Councillor Brendan Murphy, a man prone to calling his neighbours “perverts” on hundreds of occasions, was one of the councillors involved in December 2020’s infamous Handforth parish council Zoom debacle.

March 26, 2021
Post-Pandemic Pillock Alexa Chung
Fashion fruitcake Alexa Chung arrogantly announces that she has no interest in anything other than “endless parties” in “post-pandemic” times

Whilst over 100,000 people may have died from coronavirus in Britain to date, this morning, the Guardian’s Jess Cartner-Morley shared that alien-to-all-of-this Alexa Chung – a weird wench who once merged her entire name into one hashtag, #ALEXACHUNG – has announced that her priority is not helping others, but instead getting her glad rags on when the pandemic is over.

In response to a WhatsApp message from Cartner-Morley, fresh from running up debts of £2.3 million in 2020, ex-Big Mouth Chung supposedly, without a thought for those already gone and others on their deathbeds, ridiculously replied:

“When I think about life post-pandemic, all I can think about is endless parties… [I will be in] eye-wateringly short bodycon dresses – I may need matching knickers – and high heels.”

NHS staff and key workers will no doubt also be delighted to learn of Chung’s latest pearl and once again: “Thanks, Alexa” will resonate throughout the land.

Post-Pandemic Pillock Alexa Chung – Spoof Wikipedia-esque site Illogicopedia.org amusingly describe Alexa Chung as a “British fashion model made entirely out of wood.” They add: “She is best known for designing custom handbags for diabetic canker sores and hurling red paint at celebrities who refuse to wear fur” and conclude: “Anything you can do Alexa can do better. She can do anything better than you.”

Descriptions of Alexa Chung

By herself:
- “Starlet.”
- “Human.”
- “Fashion brand.”
- “Queen of Instagram.”
- “It’s no surprise to me that I’m in this position now.”
- “I’m driven by a desire to communicate.”
- “I have an emotional connection with other people.”
- “Airports are such emotionally charged places. I travel a lot, and I people-watch. And I love that British thing of wearing your holiday outfit home but with a sensible jacket because if you are British you are never not thinking about the weather.”
- “I’m always under scrutiny – and I always feel it.”
- “[Modelling] warped my reality.”
By Lily Waddell of the Mail on Sunday:
- “Fashion royalty.”
- “The belle of the ball.”
- “The biggest designer name of the moment.”
- “A style maven.”
- “A starlet.”
- “A fashion genius.”
By Niomi Harris of the MailOnline:
- “Usually cuts a stylish figure at showbiz bashes.”
- “Stunning.”
- “Allows her dress to do the talking.”
By Kayleigh Giles of the MailOnline:
- “Sits front row at almost every major Fashion Week show.”
- “Stylish.”
- “Star.”
By Anna Wintour:
- “A phenomenon.”
By The Sun’s Simon Boyle:
- “Miserable, snooty model.”
- “Galling.”
- “Ridiculous.”
- “Does naff all.”
- “Stuck-up socialite.”
- “Believes she knows better.”
- “If Alexa really had any kind of nous, she’d have cut the ridiculous costs of her line.”
- “Don’t go into business with a pretentious model [like Alexa Chung], there’s a lesson for you.”
Post-Pandemic Pillock Alexa Chung – Prior to coronavirus lockdowns in the UK and elsewhere, Alexa Chung was best known for hitting the party circuit and in February 2019 hosted a launch for a range of sunglasses at a restaurant named Wild By Tart. At it, she “allowed her dress to do the talking” and also “spoke of her “#MeToo moment.” She managed to find also to be snapped being kissed simultaneously on her cheeks by both Pixie Geldoff and Jack Guinness.

Post-Pandemic Pillock Alexa Chung – In June last year, utterly in love with herself Alexa Chung shared a bizarre 22:08 minute ‘video quiz’ on YouTube. In it, she helpfully announced that her lockdown activities had included “Netflix and chilling” and banged on about herself and her style tips. She suggested of the medium she was using: “The beauty of doing this on this is that you can just pause me.” Instead, 61 people unsurprisingly hit the ‘dislike’ button.
January 30, 2021
Moron of the Moment – Shaun Bailey

Pontificating pillock Shaun Bailey proves himself unfit to be Mayor of London after curiously claiming impoverished homeless people can and should save £5,000 to get a home

As we pointed out last March, Rory Stewart would have made a great Mayor of London. Sadly, since he’s no longer in the running, the “inept banger-on about being the son of a bus driver” Labour incumbent Sadiq Khan is getting the bloody easiest ticket-to-ride.

Aside from an especially creepy looking American YouTuber and fan of David Icke named Brian Rose as an independent, all the opposition have managed to put up is a pontificating pillock named Shaun Bailey. This self-declared “different dude” is standing for the Conservative Party in spite of bizarrely previously branding himself “gobby and dangerous.”

Having declared a pointlessly ear-piercing policy of giving free burglar alarms to 300,000 Londoners aged 65 plus and shown himself as a “foolish man with pockets plainly as large as China” in 2020, bombastic Bailey has returned to the fray this week. This Tory twit has now ludicrously stated that he believes 62,670 “homeless people in the capital would be able to save up for a £5,000 deposit to buy a share in a newly-built affordable home.”

Reported on this morning in the Guardian and Mirror, Bailey’s off-the-wall remarks to Inside Housing included:

“I don’t think the £5,000 [deposit to secure a mortgage] will [be a problem for those currently in temporary accommodation]. The mortgage application thing might be a bit tougher … They could save for it, yeah.”

Going further, the Guardian reported that this “man of gimmicks” and “malicious” moron continued with his gibberish:

Pressed by the interviewer on whether he was suggesting a homeless family in bed and breakfast accommodation could afford a deposit, Bailey replied: “Not all of them, but some people could. A full proportion of people could.”

He added: “I know about that situation, I sofa surfed for years. You’re right, I definitely couldn’t have come up with £5,000, but those people I’m not expecting to or asking to. We’ll provide social housing for them.”

Reaction to this nitwit numbskull was unsurprisingly that of “widespread bewilderment” and of him, Lambeth Labour councillor Ed Davie tweeted:

“Famously, people living in poverty usually have at least £5,000 lying around – it’s amazing that it hasn’t occurred to them to simply buy a London property, which are well known for being really cheap. Thank God senior Tories are here to give out this good advice.”

Whilst Sadiq Khan’s policies – such as the extension of Boris Johnson’s bonkers bike lanes – have been equivalent to driving a bus into a brick wall, Shaun Bailey has yet again proven something else: Here, indeed, is a berk who shouldn’t be allowed to be in charge of a bus ticket, let alone Britain’s capital. It’s time, instead, that Bailey was just put back in his box.

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Birds of a Feather – Shaun Bailey with Boris Johnson. The fact that the pair “get on well” is proof enough that the loopy wannabe Mayor of London is unfit for office.

Birds of a Feather – Shaun Bailey with now former Prime Minister David Cameron. The smug look on this duo’s faces sums up the “f**k the rest of you” attitude of these opportunists; here is a pair whose involvement in politics has caused nothing but disaster for everyone whilst their own pockets get deeper.

Brian Rose’s decision to stand as a candidate to become Mayor of London was understandably greeted with mockery by ‘Coffeezilla’ and described as “some form of joke” by ‘From The Hornets Nest.’

January 14, 2021
Wally of the Week – Mike Alan

“International magician” Mike Alan goes mental with a cucumber after alleging a “razor sharp” M&S shelf “savaged” his coat and left him “looking like a snowman”

At a time when 13,000 families are worrying about ending up in penury thanks to retail rotter ‘Sir Shifty’ Philip Green’s empire collapsing, there’s one very, very angry man with bigger issues to fry with the sinking high street shopping sector.

Featured for “crying to the papers” first via the Facebook group ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers,’ an “international magician” named Mike Alan – a man mocked as the type that “shops in M&S but cuts a Lidl version of Richard O’Brien” – claims to have paid £75 for a coat that one commentator described simply as “I’ve seen nicer jackets on hot water tanks.”

Aptly ‘Digusted of Tunbridge Wells’ (and yes, Mr Alan just had to be from Tunbridge Wells) moaned to KentLive’s multimedia journalist John James that he was left “seething” after an encounter with a shelf in the spa town’s Calverly Road Marks & Spencer store.

Of the calamitous incident, Mr Alan – whom claims to have performed for both the Queen and the Sultan of Brunei – explained:

“I went into the store like I do most days. I don’t have a problem with the shop or the staff themselves, they’re very polite. I go to look at a tin of biscuits and as I pull them off the shelf it rips my coat.”

“I went to the desk and asked to speak to a manager and they said they didn’t have one on shift at the moment, I said ‘What are you? A corner shop?’”

“By this point I looked like a snowman walking around with all the feathers coming out of my coat. I was told to call up head office.”

Wally of the Week – Mike Alan – Especially for ‘Kent Live’ readers, “as seen on TV” Mr Alan shared an image of the damage he did to a cucumber with the offending shelf. He did not declare whether he paid for said vine plant fruit.

Continuing of his subsequent lengthy less than magical correspondence with the retailer, Mr Alan – a man plainly lacking a Debbie McGee to do his biscuit buying – then angrily added:

“They’ve denied it’s sharp, so yesterday I went back in there and cut one of their cucumbers with the shelf. And they still say it’s not sharp. It’s like a razor!”

“All I’m after is for them to own up to it and give me £50 for the coat, which I’d give to a homeless charity so they could buy a coat.”

“I’m just really annoyed with their attitude. I’ve not been going in there since the incident. I’ve sent an invoice to them, I’m going to charge them for every email I send them.”

“The shelf is sharp and it’s at the same height as a child’s face. It’s a joke.”

Plainly sick of this moaning Minnie, an M&S spokesman responded: “We are giving him a gesture of goodwill to cover the cost of his coat.” Magic that, Mike.

Pictured top: Mike Alan displays his “savaged” coat for the benefit of readers of ‘Kent Live’ (left); previous encounters with retailers including Sports Direct feature on his Facebook page.

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Wally of the Week – Mike Alan – ‘Angry People in Local Newspapers’ members had a field day with Mr Alan subsequently. “It’s not just any savaging. It’s an M&S shelf savaging,” remarked one Michael Burke.

Wally of the Week – Mike Alan – “This is a proper Quentin Tarantino film in the making” added a ‘top fan’ named Marcus Marr. Another ‘top fan,’ Cath Dodge, added: “Wearing a natty hat does not make you a magician, mate,” whilst one Danny Beattie observed: “I know what has a problem, and it’s not the shelf!”

Wally of the Week – Mike Alan – “That shelf could have cut a woman in half… and that’s my job!” mocked one Jim MacNee.

December 8, 2020
Bathtub Bonkers

As a poll in ‘The Sun’ reveals 89% of participants do not want to see alleged bathtub shagger Prince Andrew return to public duty, his batshit bonkers ex-wife makes what she calls ‘bathtub teddies’

Whilst ‘Randy Andy’s’ live-in ex-wife is well known for having her toes sucked by her lovers, this week she turned to making bizarre jokes as she waved frankfurters around in a somewhat sexual fashion on her Storytime with Fergie and Friends YouTube channel.

Plainly ignoring public outrage about the Duke of York’s alleged non-sweaty bathtub antics in Ghislaine Maxwell’s Kinnerton Street, Belgravia home with Virginia Giuffre, ‘Fergie’ also decided to make what she termed some ‘bathtub teddies.’ Whilst it turned out that this simpleton was actually just playing with cupcakes (as you do), it is just clear that this wack job just doesn’t get the severity of what the Pizza Express lover stands accused.

Elsewhere in The Sun on Sunday this morning, just as a poll has suggested the vast majority of the public do not wish to see Prince Andrew return to public duties, it seems the ‘Prince of Darkness’ has been making “secret night visits to the Queen as he plots [a] public return.” Quite frankly, he’d be better doing something else instead: Get back in his tub and scrub himself into obscurity.

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Redbubble.com are now selling bath mats featuring an image of Prince Andrew online for £23.61. Measuring 61cm by 43cm, the 100% polyester microfiber printed foam with non-slip bottom items are captioned: “Nonce.”

Sarah Ferguson was photographed having her toes sucked by her then lover John Bryan at a villa in the South of France in 1992.

November 1, 2020
Remembering Jeffrey Epstein Albuquerque Style

Statue of late billionaire sex beast Jeffrey Epstein mysteriously appears outside City Hall in Albuquerque, New Mexico (and is promptly removed by officials)

A ‘statue’ of the dead sex offender Jeffrey Epstein somewhat bizarrely briefly put in an appearance in Albuquerque, New Mexico yesterday. God only knows why.

Positioned downtown in front of the city’s municipal hall, what turned out to be a gold paint covered mannequin was accompanied by a plaque. It read:

“Jeffrey Epstein (January 20, 1953 – August 10, 2019) was an American Financier who started as a teacher and worked his way up from a low level assistant to be one of the top financial advisers in the USA. He had a home in New Meixco, Zorro Ranch. He was also a rapist who died in prison.”

Speaking (with an “altered voice”) to Rebecca Atkins of KRQE News 13 on Wednesday, an “anonymous member of Antlion Entertainment ‘Art’ Collective remarked:

“We think we need an Epstein statue in every school ‘cos how are students going to learn he even existed? You know, those that don’t remember history tend to repeat it and so, if we don’t have statues of Epstein, how can we prevent the predatory behaviour?”

“A statue is just a statue,” the spokesperson added, whilst the local mayor, Tim Keller, responded with bemusement and commented: “I personally didn’t see it… I was like: ‘That doesn’t make any actual sense.’ So, that’s where I’m at right now.”

Whatever next? An erection of non-sweating, Pizza Express loving Prince Andrew embracing In-N-Out burger munching procurer Ghislaine Maxwell? Meanwhile, though the fate of the now removed statue is unknown, one witty sort quipped: “That statue will not hang itself!”

Pictured top: Left – The briefly installed Jeffrey Epstein statue; Top Right – Jeffrey Epstein with Donald and Melania Trump and Ghislaine Maxwell; Bottom Right – The paedophile with fellow sex offender Harvey Weinstein and Miss Maxwell at a party in Prince Andrew’s garden.

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The ‘statue’ was briefly positioned outside Albuquerque’s City Hall; a member of the Antlion Entertainment ‘Art’ Collective that ‘installed’ the mannequin posed for a photograph with it. ‘Newsweek’ later reported that their online searches “found no websites or accounts connected to the aforementioned art collective.”

In November 2019, the First Church of God Marseilles in Illinois were condemned for their “joke” sign that suggested Jeffrey Epstein “didn’t kill himself.” Though the church’s pastor explained: “It gave us a chance to expose people to Jesus and who he is, getting people to ask questions,” most simply condemned the move as being “in pretty poor taste.”

July 2, 2020
Moron of the Moment – Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan sinks to a new low during the coronavirus crisis and attempts to relaunch her tawdry self on April Fool’s Day; the washed-up wench claims to be “evolving”

Loathsome leech Lindsay Lohan once curiously claimed she was a “normal, nice person, a good person” and that she “[didn’t] have any bad intentions.” She then proceeded to prove herself totally wrong in leaping to the defence of the now convicted sex abuser Harvey Weinstein in 2017.

Jailed for 90 days in 2001 and put in rehab in 2008 (and on many other occasions since), this often violent, deranged, on-off druggie has now decided to revive her music ‘career’ at quite possibly the most inappropriate time – that being on April Fool’s Day during the coronavirus crisis. You simply couldn’t make it up, but, as we all know, ‘Loopy Lindsay’ can’t actually get a PR advisor for toffee.

Some might argue that this move is reflective of this trashbag’s position in society, but that Lohan – whom the term “celebutard” was created in her very honour by Michael Musto some years back – issued a cryptic video on Instagram that ends with the wastrel weirdly stating: “I’m back!” about says it all. Frankly, the public will be the judge of that love and given past performance tends to be a guide to the future, we all already know where this almighty mess is going to end up next.

Here we go again, Lindsay: Another car crash that’s headed to be washed away down the gutter. Next!

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A Twitter user aptly summed up Lindsay Lohan’s April Fool’s Day 2020 actions.

In her video message on Instagram, the self-absorbed mess showed a message that stated: “Evolution of Lindsay Lohan.”

April 1, 2020
Wally of the Week – Richard Madeley

Richard Madeley once again proves himself a complete prat in remarks about autism on ‘Good Morning Britain’

Richard Madeley isn’t a man, he’s simply a menace. Married to the old soak and famous boob flasher Judy Finnigan and looking more and more like Dorian Gray as each day passes, the former This Morning presenter “has been branded ‘embarrassing’, ‘ignorant’ and ‘an idiot’ after [asking a] shocking question to the mum of a man with autism.”

Standing in for the equally pugnacious Piers Morgan on ITV1’s Good Morning Britain this week, “Richard Went Full Madeley” according to The Mirror when he curtly asked: “The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”

Criticised for his stupid and inappropriate question widely on social media, here is yet again evidence that Madeley really isn’t the sharpest tool in the box. This classmate of Chancellor ‘Spreadsheet Phil’ Philip Hammond previously made a joke about alleged abuser of 1,000 women Harvey Weinstein in October 2017.

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November 3, 2018
Wally of the Week – Richard Madeley

Richard Madeley once again proves himself a complete prat in remarks about autism on ‘Good Morning Britain’

Richard Madeley isn’t a man, he’s simply a menace. Married to the old soak and famous boob flasher Judy Finnigan and looking more and more like Dorian Gray as each day passes, the former This Morning presenter “has been branded ‘embarrassing’, ‘ignorant’ and ‘an idiot’ after [asking a] shocking question to the mum of a man with autism.”

Standing in for the equally pugnacious Piers Morgan on ITV1’s Good Morning Britain this week, “Richard Went Full Madeley” according to The Mirror when he curtly asked: “The thing with Daniel [Wakeford, a ‘star’ on Channel 4’s Undateables] is, he has autism but is very intelligent and as we can see extremely talented. Has Daniel always been autistic?”

Criticised for his stupid and inappropriate question widely on social media, here is yet again evidence that Madeley really isn’t the sharpest tool in the box. This classmate of Chancellor ‘Spreadsheet Phil’ Philip Hammond previously made a joke about alleged abuser of 1,000 women Harvey Weinstein in October 2017.

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November 3, 2018