Tag: joke

  • Snowflake Society

    Snowflake Society

    Matthew Steeples supports William Sitwell and suggests his employer Waitrose develop a better moral compass before attacking him

     

    Aristocrats have a habit of saying stupid things. That’s a fact but equally that millennials now take offence at a bit of banter is something quite more ludicrous.

     

    Outrage has ensued this week after a gentleman named William Sitwell – a critic on MasterChef UK and editor of Waitrose Magazine – “dared” to make fun of veganism.

     

    “Disgraceful” some might declare but nonetheless that Sitwell was criticised for responding to a woman suggesting an article on “plant-based meals” with the following is ridiculous:

     

    “How about a series on killing vegans, one by one. Ways to trap them? How to interrogate them properly? Expose their hypocrisy? Force-feed them meat? Make them eat steak and drink red wine?”

     

    In response, Waitrose issued a statement that read:

     

    “Even though this was a private email William’s gone too far and his words are extremely inappropriate, insensitive and absolutely do not represent our views.”

     

    Well, Waitrose – the company that won’t sell poppies because “they don’t condone war” – I’d suggest you get your own house in order before condemning a man who’d simply made a joke.

     

    How about getting this trending on Twitter? #Snowflakes

     

    Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

    Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

    Twitter: @SteepleTimes and @M_Steeples

     

  • Illuminating the Illuminati

    Illuminating the Illuminati

    As ‘The Guardian’ explores the power of the Illuminati, Matthew Steeples argues that the few claiming links to such are nothing but mad, old cranks

     

    This morning, The Guardian’s Martha Gill asked: “What is the Illuminati?” in an article that jokingly suggested Googling such would put one at “great personal risk.”

     

    Referencing the organisation’s “top bananas – such as for example the Queen – [as] ancient lizards dating from an era before man existed” without even bringing the crackpot David Icke into it, politics, culture and neuroscience expert Gill made connections instead to Beyoncé, Madonna and Katy Perry. She called the Illuminati a “very clever cover-up” and a “myth” and a group that formed because a German philosopher named Adam Weishaupt “couldn’t afford the Freemason admission fee.” Overall, she concluded: “It is a powerful and savagely guarded organisation that secretly controls the entire modern world, probably while wearing cloaks. It has done this mainly through infiltrating the media and brainwashing everybody. It could be doing it right now.”

     

    Whilst such claims are both countered and at the same time mocked in such works as Roman Polanski’s 2010 film The Ghost Writer –where a fictional former British Prime Minister turns out to have been controlled by a very shady operation named the Hatherton Corporation – what Gill misses is that the groups that continue to claim links to the Illuminati – such as the Ordo Templi Orientis – are, in fact, actually nothing but a bunch of mad, old cranks.

     

    Follow The Steeple Times on Twitter at @SteepleTimes and Matthew Steeples at @M_Steeples.

     

  • More on Menéndez

    More on Menéndez

    As Lyle Menéndez creates a Facebook page about the case against him and his brother Erik, a juror contacts ‘The Steeple Times’ and brands their conviction for killing their wealthy parents “imperfect self-defence”

     

    Renewed interest in the 1989 murders of the multi-millionaires José and Mary ‘Kitty’ Menéndez by their sons, Erik and Lyle, has accompanied NBC’s screening of their fascinating new eight-part Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez Murders.

     

    Consequently discussion has intensified and aside from Lyle Menéndez creating a Facebook page this month where interested parties can read about the slayings and the alleged abuse he and his brother were subjected to, a juror in the first trial contacted The Steeple Times to share her thoughts on the eventual outcome.

     

    In an email to editor-in-chief Matthew Steeples, a juror in the first case brought against Erik Menéndez and author of Hung Jury: The Diary of a Menendez Juror Hazel Thornton remarked:

     

    We were given the choice of:

    – First degree murder (what the men wanted)

    – Second degree murder

    – Voluntary manslaughter (what the women wanted)

    – Involuntary manslaughter

     

    It was widely reported that the women were 1) in love with the M brothers, 2) enamored with defense attorney Leslie Abramson (that part is true; I consider her to be a hero and am thrilled that LOTC [Law & Order True Crime] Menendez is focused on her character), 3) voting emotionally, not logically, and 4) too stupid to understand the jury instructions.

     

    Also, that we wanted to let them go free. No one voted to acquit. Acquittal was not on the table. We didn’t even vote for Involuntary manslaughter.

     

    But we did think the defense was strong enough that it may have happened exactly as they said –that they were in fear of their lives, rightly or wrongly, at the very moment of the killings. It’s called ‘imperfect self-defense’.

     

    Elsewhere in today’s The Steeple Times, we interview Zach Tinker – the actor who plays Erik Menéndez’s classmate, Craig Cignarelli.

     

    More on Menéndez – As Lyle Menéndez creates a Facebook page about the case against him and his brother Erik, a juror contacts ‘The Steeple Times’ to comment on their conviction for killing their wealthy parents
    Lyle Menéndez (left) and Erik Menéndez (right) in prison photographs in more recent years
    More on Menéndez – As Lyle Menéndez creates a Facebook page about the case against him and his brother Erik, a juror contacts ‘The Steeple Times’ to comment on their conviction for killing their wealthy parents
    The brothers continue to allege they were abused by the wealthy parents they slayed, Kitty and José Menéndez
    More on Menéndez – As Lyle Menéndez creates a Facebook page about the case against him and his brother Erik, a juror contacts ‘The Steeple Times’ to comment on their conviction for killing their wealthy parents
    722 North Elm Drive, Beverly Hills, CA 90210 – The home where the Menéndez brothers committed their crimes on 20th August 1989; the house had previously been the residence of both Elton John and Prince in years prior
    More on Menéndez – As Lyle Menéndez creates a Facebook page about the case against him and his brother Erik, a juror contacts ‘The Steeple Times’ to comment on their conviction for killing their wealthy parents
    A tweet by juror in first trial Hazel Thornton containing a Facebook post by Lyle Menéndez about his views on her book

     

    Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez Murders is available to watch in the UK on Sky Living and below an unedited Facebook post from Lyle Menéndez follows:

     

    I thank my family for helping me with this page. I don’t have internet access so this site depends on them. I have been told that setting up this page will open me up to ridicule and criticism. That’s probably true, but it’s something I’m already used to. It is very hard to accept that sexual assault can be the punchline of jokes or the subject of ridicule, but it has occurred–to me–and to many others. If I am mocked for this page, the shame of that belongs on the mocker and not on me or anyone who shares their story here. There is, quite simply, nothing funny about child rape or other abuse.

     

    The purpose of this page is not to debate the clearly wrong actions that I took. The purpose is to provide a safe place for people to talk about their similar experiences and find comfort in others who have suffered in silence in the same way. Those of us who have suffered abuse understand the healing power of sharing our experiences.

     

    I have received thousands of letters from people all over the world who have heard about my experiences and connected with them or simply had empathy for me and my brother. When I first started to receive the letters, I answered every one. But, eventually, I became overwhelmed. Still – whether I answered them or not – I read all the letters and my heart ached for each person brave enough to share, and I was inspired by the strength it took every person to take pen to paper and pour out their hearts.

     

    In fact, I testified every day at my trial in 1993 with a letter of an abuse survivor in my pants pocket to give me courage. The letters I receive to this day continue to give me courage and strength.

     

    With the resurgence of interest in our case and the prevalence of social media, I’m now in a better position to be able to create a place for those of you who want to reach out to me. Even more, this format gives us all the opportunity to create a community of compassion, empathy, inspiration and strength. I hope you will share your stories here and that we can build something positive from something so negative. I hope that we can all be survivors, lift each other up when we need it, and show everyone that by supporting each other, we can not just survive but thrive.

     

    If you write to me here, I will be read your posts, through my family, and I will respond sometimes. We can help each other. But this page is less about me and more about all of us helping each other. There is a community here. But please keep in mind that neither I nor anyone in my family is a professional counselor, therapist, or any type of professional equipped to deal with the psychological and/or emotional issues that child abuse causes. I will be offering my support and advice as a fellow sufferer and survivor and not as any type of expert.

     

    Like I said, I do not have the internet. This site depends on my family. If you see an “-a” after a comment that means that the administrator is the one commenting. And many conversations will be started by the administrator.

     

    One final note: I have heard that social media can be the opposite of what I just described. Please know that hateful posts will not be approved and hurtful/hateful comments will be deleted by an administrator. Let’s make this a safe space.

     

    For more information Hung Jury: The Diary of a Menendez Juror about by Hazel Thornton, click here.

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVcw6H2MA8E

     

  • Viscount Porridge

    Viscount Porridge

    Thrice bankrupt bigot Viscount St Davids banged to rights and set to be jailed Thursday; he blames Gina Miller as “untruthful” and Matthew Steeples as “an eavesdropper” and accepts utterly no blame for what he did

     

    On Thursday, if he doesn’t turn up at Westminster Magistrates’ Court on time, justice will come knock, knock, knockin’ on Baron Strange of Knockin’s door.

     

    Donald Trump supporter and serial bankrupt Rhodri Philipps (AKA 4th Viscount St Davids, Lord St Davids, Baron Hungerford, Baron de Moleyns, Baron Strange of Knockin and, to the public and no doubt his new jailbird chums, plain old Mr Philipps) – a bigot whose insistence on being called anything other than Mister sealed his fate as the real life representation of Paul Whitehouse’s Rowley Birkin QC – was found guilty Tuesday of two counts of sending menacing messages on a public electronic communications network. After convicting him, chief magistrate Emma Arbuthnot warned the aristocrat: “The first port of call will obviously be a prison sentence.”

     

    She added:

     

    “I have no doubt the first post was menacing, you were offering money to have [Gina Miller] killed. A reasonable person reading the post would have felt a sense of apprehension at least, if not fear.”

     

    “I don’t accept you didn’t understand the post could be shared. On Facebook users share and have shared any number of others’ posts – nothing is private about a Facebook post.”

     

    “They were not funny, not a joke, they were sent when Lord St Davids was infuriated – they were not meant to be light-hearted comment, they were intended to cause apprehension among some of your Facebook acquaintances, not all as some clearly shared his views.”

     

    “I find you knew when you posted these messages they might create apprehension in a reasonable person reading them in the multi-racial country we live in.”

     

     Viscount Porridge – Mr Rhodri Philipps, 4th Viscount St Davids, Lord St Davids, Baron Hungerford, Baron de Moleyns, Baron Strange of Knockin – Racist – Gina Miller and Matthew Steeples – Tariq Siddiqi and Councillor Andrew RinkerViscount Porridge – Mr Rhodri Philipps, 4th Viscount St Davids, Lord St Davids, Baron Hungerford, Baron de Moleyns, Baron Strange of Knockin – Racist – Gina Miller and Matthew Steeples – Tariq Siddiqi and Councillor Andrew Rinker Viscount Porridge – Mr Rhodri Philipps, 4th Viscount St Davids, Lord St Davids, Baron Hungerford, Baron de Moleyns, Baron Strange of Knockin – Racist – Gina Miller and Matthew Steeples – Tariq Siddiqi and Councillor Andrew Rinker

     

    Represented initially by a chubby dimwit American and Conservative councillor for Kensington (yes, one of them, a member of the worst council in Britain) named Andrew Rinker – a curious creature commonly known as ‘Rinker The Stinker’ in even the most polite circles – Philipps proved himself nothing but a nasty piece of work and a fool in the dock. He tried to blame me for “stalking” and “trolling” him and referenced me “a professional eavesdropper.” He claimed his trial was “political” and motivated because of his multiple titles and whilst his scumbag chum and cohort Tariq Siddiqi targeted me also via social media throughout the period, he was ultimately convicted simply because the Crown was able to prove he is nothing but an inept racist incapable of covering his own vile tracks.

     

    Of the result, Kate Mulholland of the Crown Prosecution Service commented:

     

    This threat caused extreme concern to Gina Miller and although Lord St Davids claimed his Facebook friends would have been tolerant of his views, they were open to the public.”

     

    “No-one should have these kind of menacing comments made to them or about them and where there is evidence of an offence the CPS and police will bring a prosecution.”

     

    As I said previously, the law must now change: What goes on social media, doesn’t stay on social media. We must all be held accountable for whatever we post.

     

  • Hannah, Soleil and Winter Strafford-Taylor

    Hannah, Soleil and Winter Strafford-Taylor

    Narcissist and “yummy mummy” Hannah Strafford-Taylor describes herself as “Instagram’s most stylish mum” to her 8,600 followers. Mocked as a “plastic clichéd fool using her bizarrely named daughters [Soleil and Winter] as accessories”, Mrs Strafford-Taylor told the Mail Online: “My husband says I have my own unique currency of holidays. I compare everything to the price of a holiday. My favourite place in the world is the Maldives” in January 2017. Of her one commentator remarked: “Well, she loves herself a bit too much” whilst another concluded: “Another bragging Brit, we can all do that”.

     

  • Brenda from Bristol

    Brenda from Bristol

    Pearl clad pensioner ‘Brenda from Bristol’ became the Gillian Duffy of the 2017 General Election when she shared her views about politics with a BBC reporter. This 75-year old retired secretary spoke for the nation in remarking: “You’re joking? Not another one!” Oh for God’s sake, I can’t honestly… I can’t stand this. There’s too much politics going on at the moment. Why does she [Theresa May] need to do it?” and later added: “There’s hardly anybody in any of the parties that you’d put your life on the line for. We need somebody who’s got a little bit of guts to get us all going”. Brenda is entirely right: It is time that politicians stopped bothering us.

     

    #BrendaForPM

     

    Brenda from Bristol – The voice of the nation, 2017’s Gillian Duffy – Pearl clad ‘Brenda from Bristol’ became the Gillian Duffy of 2017 General Election when she shared her views about politics with a reporter.Brenda from Bristol – The voice of the nation, 2017’s Gillian Duffy – Pearl clad ‘Brenda from Bristol’ became the Gillian Duffy of 2017 General Election when she shared her views about politics with a reporter. Brenda from Bristol – The voice of the nation, 2017’s Gillian Duffy – Pearl clad ‘Brenda from Bristol’ became the Gillian Duffy of 2017 General Election when she shared her views about politics with a reporter.Brenda from Bristol – The voice of the nation, 2017’s Gillian Duffy – Pearl clad ‘Brenda from Bristol’ became the Gillian Duffy of 2017 General Election when she shared her views about politics with a reporter.

  • A Reminder of What Is To Come

    A Reminder of What Is To Come

    Donald Trump on ‘Saturday Night Live’ back in 2015 needs to be viewed again; it might be comedy but now it looks like an especially scary indicator of what is yet to come

     

    Back in 2015, Donald Trump and his daughter, Ivanka, appeared in a sketch on Saturday Night Live.

     

    At the time, ‘The Donald’ was still just a brash businessman, self-promoting ‘celebrity’ and possible Republican candidate but what he said during a 3:56 minute sketch back then now actually provides indication of how he truly views what being President of the United States of America is really about. For him, it appeared, the whole thing is nothing but an utter joke and an opportunity to make more money for the Trump Organization.

     

    In the video clip we share here, the then highly unlikely future winning opponent to ‘Crooked Hillary’ – as he later cruelly christened Mrs Clinton – behaved more like a comedy actor than the leader of the free world. He appeared – in a pretend setting of a fake “White House in 2018” – and stated: “I don’t have to get specific, with me it just works, it’s always been that way my whole life” whilst an actress playing his wife (plainly the real one was too incomprehensible to join in) remarked that 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is “the smallest place Donald and I have ever lived but we made it work”.

     

     

    Aside from announcing that China is in debt to America and that the national anthem has been rewritten and retitled It’s yuuuge, one of Trump’s The Apprentice candidates, Omarosa Manigault, told Trump: “After your face-to-face meeting, Putin has withdrawn from Ukraine. Believe me, he does not want to be called a loser again. He cried for hours”.

     

    “You’ve really made America great again”, another of Trump’s fake cabinet added whilst his fake wife gibed: “See I told you. More than just words on a silly hat”.

     

    Complete with a fake Mexican President telling Trump: “Nothing brings two countries together like a wall” (before handing him a cheque that ‘The Donald’ promptly pocketed), the clip ends with his fake assistant remarking:

     

    “The American people are just sick of winning, they’re winning so much, it’s just too great sir”.

     

    Trump, always one for having the last word, responded:

     

    “Look, I know how they feel. It’s exhausting. Winning is that tough. It’s not that easy. If you think that’s how it’s going to be when I’m President, you’re wrong. It’s going to be even better”.

     

    “I said to the writer’s of this sketch: Keep it modest, OK. It’s better to start with low expectations. That way, you have no way to go but up”.

     

    At the time, this sketch was no doubt amusing to many. Now, frankly, it’s nothing but a scary indicator of what’s to come.

     

    #GodHelpAmerica #DumpTheTrump

     

     

  • Video of the Week: #PleaseNotThem

    Video of the Week: #PleaseNotThem

    National Lottery make a cringeworthy advert featuring Piers Morgan as part of their #PleaseNotThem promotion (more…)

  • Video of the Week: Pranking Paris

    Video of the Week: Pranking Paris

    Paris Hilton given the shock of her life by Egyptian prankster (more…)

  • Andy Carroll and Billi Mucklow

    Andy Carroll and Billi Mucklow

    Andy Carroll and Billi MucklowProfessional footballer Andy Carroll earns £85,000 a week and has 283,000 followers on Twitter. (more…)