Thursday, December 29, 2022

Horrified of Haddenham

Section:

Irrational ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ type correspondence is on the increase in national newspapers during the coronavirus lockdown; ‘Horrified of Haddenham’ cash-coronavirus conspiracist Garry May is a fine case in point

The coronavirus lockdown has no doubt resulted in a dramatic increase in the number of ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ (and even paradoxically ‘Delighted of Tunbridge Wells’) types corresponding with both national and local newspapers. There are, after all, now many more people moping around at home with little else to do other than to ponder with a pen (or clatter on a keyboard).

 

Whilst in November 2019, The Telegraph stated that its letters editor received and read 600 missives per day from readers (and subsequently published 18 of them in their next edition) and in June that year, the Guardian referenced a by comparison meagre sum of 82 per day (citing 30,000 communications annually), one can only assume that both publications have seen huge spikes in their mailbags in the last few weeks – the content of which of course now mostly arrives by email rather than with the help of the Royal Mail.

 

Editors such as Christopher Howse – who has worked on The Telegraph’s letters pages for over twenty years – however, is plainly still favouring letters from his reliable riled-up regulars and yesterday was no exception. In publishing a totally irrational observation from one Garry May of Haddenham, Buckinghamshire linking cash to coronavirus (a totally nonsensical view very clearly empirically denied by the World Health Organisation in March), the paper fulfilled its ability to share views to spread yet more Eamonn Holmes-esque claptrap. This kind of 5G type twaddle will no doubt appeal to its stereotypical conspiracy theory believing old buffer audience, but it is without factual base.

 

In his letter, Mr May suggested:

 

SIR – I hope this pandemic cements the use of debit cards for all transactions, and thereby the end of cash.

 

Bank notes and coins spread diseases. Ruling out ready money could also put an end to most drug deals on our streets.

 

Garry May

Haddenham, Buckinghamshire

 

On a date exact unknown circa 2011, in a letter to The Telegraph, that was subsequently republished in the compilation book The Lunatics Have Taken Over The Asylum: Political Letters to The Daily Telegraph, Mr May previously shared his views on phone hacking. He presented yet another pastiche of days gone by and read:

 

SIR – The hacking scandal left my family debating who we can still rely on. Our shortlist of trustworthies came down to the Gurkhas, other ranks in our Armed Forces, postmen and Simon the pieman, who works in the butcher’s shop.

 

Garry May

Haddenham, Buckinghamshire

 

Mr May’s archaic idealism might resonate as charming and worthy, but what should be noted is that this prolific man of letters belonging in the 1950s lives in Haddenham, a quintessential English village that most definitely has Midsomer Murders-esque qualities (it was used as a location in eight episodes of the television drama even). One of only three ‘wychert’ settlements in the country and a place peppered with thatched cottages and a duck pond famed for breeding Aylesbury ducks, one can imagine the era of “old maids bicycling to holy communion through the morning mist” John Major-style still reigns in this parish.

 

Indeed, at this time, as countless rural residents turn to growing their own vegetables and even start going to their local ‘community shop’ in order to avoid queuing for hours whilst safe distancing at Tesco, many will join in eulogising a love of postmen and piemen and – quite rightly – a loathing for evil drug dealers also.

 

Sadly, however, getting rid of cash will not wipe out that particularly vile scourge on society and it will not stop the spread of coronavirus. Instead, maybe it’s time for ‘Horrified of Haddenham’ to find another topic to get het up about: Perhaps, indeed, Mr May could turn his pen to the squealing sickness of snitching ‘quarantine shaming’ or maybe he could just calm down and pour himself a large G&T.

 

An early example of ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ correspondence:

SIR – Being present at the unveiling of the plaque on Thursday last week on the Pantiles, I was surprised when the National Anthem was played to see that in a place like Tunbridge Wells, which is noted for its loyalty and calls itself ‘Royal,’ there should be people who refused to remove their hats. Are such people Communists? If they are, Tunbridge Wells should be no place for such as they. We can do without them.

 

Letters to the Editor, ‘Tunbridge Wells Advertiser’ – 14th June 1929.

 

Pictured top: Haddenham, Buckinghamshire – a quintessentially quaint English village with a duck pond and thatched cottages from whence nosy parkers peer from behind net curtains.

 

Facebook: @TheSteepleTimes

Instagram: @TheSteepleTimes

Twitter: @SteepleTimes

 

The Steeple Times
The Steeple Times
We research and background check our articles. If you believe we have made and error in some detail please get in touch, we seek always to write the truth and stand against a press owned by a self selected few. Please help us, we will accept all your likes, subscriptions and anonymous suport. The Editor and his team at the Steeple Times.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Are they making any more episodes of Midsomer? If they decide to, they should give Mr May a part. “Death by poison pen” would be a great sleuth solver.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

£1 per week Supports The Steeple Times

Help journalism to remain honest & independent. You can make a difference to the world today.

3,091FansLike
2,068FollowersFollow
14,723FollowersFollow
4,962SubscribersSubscribe

Subscribe For DAILY NEWS

Please subscribe, like and share this unique site, it helps us tremendously. The Steeple Times in return will send you an email at noon each and everyday, that we sincerely hope you will enjoy & look forward to seeing in your inbox.

AD
Advertisement

Trending Now

Crypto Crook’s Big Short – Will Sam Bankman-Fried Story Be Turned Into Blockbuster?

Crypto crook Sam Bankman-Fried astonishingly gets to hang out with the author of ‘The Big Short’ in spite of being on £207 million bail and now has not only Ghislaine Maxwell’s lawyer onside but also Prince Andrew’s judge to face also.

Five Unlikely Things Famous Footballers Did Next…

David Lennox shares the little-known stories of what five famous footballers did next after retiring their pitch time prowess – amongst them everything from novel writing to forensic detective work.

Most Popular Articles

Justice for James Scurlock

Power of social media proven after senseless killing of James Scurlock in Omaha, Nebraska allegedly by a controversial bar owner named Jake Gardner who has been photographed with Donald Trump.

Moron of the Moment – Prince Harry

With his marriage to the woman formerly known as Meghan Markle, Prince Harry has morphed into an utter bore   Prince Harry used to be a...

Scobie Orf!

‘MeGain’s’ bestie Omid Scobie deservedly gets slammed by ‘Yankee Wally’ Sadie Quinlan for getting her shut down on Twitter; this childish chap should now just ‘belt up, wrap up and shut up.’

A Massive Media Maelstrom – McCann, Mandelson and Maxwell

Matthew Steeples highlights how the ‘Mandelson Media Method’ is very much in play in both the case of the Prince Andrew-Jeffrey Epstein connection and the renewed interest in the Madeleine McCann disappearance.

The Phil & Matt Show

Phillip Schofield filmed smoking shisha with his alleged ex-lover Matt McGreevy (and pictured in bed thereafter); another image shows the pair together in photograph...

Plane Perverted

EXCLUSIVE – Previously unnamed 9-year-old child pictured on the lap of Jeffrey Epstein on his plane in ‘Daily Mail’ suggested to be daughter of billionaire Glenn Dubin.

Moron of the Moment 2021 – Richard Madeley

As the new Diana, Princess of Wales statue is mocked as looking like him, ‘Dorian Gray of Daytime Telly’ Richard Madeley pathetically claims he got PTSD due to worrying about his son’s wedding.

Most Liked...

Ampika Pickston

Ampika Pickston
Oldham born divorcee and former glamour model Ampika Pickston describes herself as “feisty, fun loving and warm hearted”. Now based in Hale Barns, Cheshire...

Picture of the Week: The Wallies of Whalley

Picture of the Week: A field at Whalley Arches, Lancashire before and after flooding
Image of flooded Lancashire field complete with sign advertising it as a development site for 39 homes illustrates the perils of building on flood...

Was Mucky Minx Meghan Markle A ‘Yacht Girl’ For ‘Randy Andy’?

Was Meghan Markle A ‘Yacht Girl’ For ‘Randy Andy’?
As author Kirby Sommers suggests that the then Meghan Markle likely spent time with Prince Andrew and Jeffrey Epstein before she met Prince Harry, we again highlight the mucky, murkiness and mendacious manner of this alleged “yacht girl.”

Unprecedentedly THAT – Scrag-End Omid Scobie’s Christmas Twitter Missive Stinkers

Unprecedentedly THAT – Scrag-End Omid Scobie’s Christmas Twitter Missive Stinkers
In using Twitter to share rabid rants about everything from Ribena to the royals, Omid Scobie simply shows himself as unprecedently awful.

MeGain’s Mouthpiece’s Moronic Meltdown – Soppy Omid Scobie v Joyous Jeremy...

MeGain’s Mouthpiece Has Meltdown Jeremy Clarkson Meghan Markle Omid Scobie
Matthew Steeples salutes Jeremy Clarkson for expressing honest thoughts about the deviant Duchess of Sussex (and especially for causing the soppy snowflake that is ‘MeGain’s mouthpiece Omid Scobie to have a meltdown as a result).