PR peddler Ivy Holt of Media PR makes a prized pillock of her client Love Yourself by trying to spread unentertaining fake news; all she achieved was to prove herself to be a wannabe Brian Basham
At 11:55am yesterday, a prattling PR peddler named Ivy Holt of Media PR Limited – a firm we’d thankfully never heard of or knowingly dealt with previously – had the gall to send The Steeple Times fake news on the very day we’d joined those respectfully marking the 20th anniversary of the tragic murder of Stuart Lubbock at the home of the disgraced entertainer Michael Barrymore.
Beginning, as if to be clever with an ‘embargo’ and really just sharing a rotten attempt to promote her client Love Yourself – a Park Royal, NW10 based flogger of overpriced dieting regimes – Ms Holt (who is listed as Ivy Elizabeth Barbara Elsby by Companies House) attempted to make light of those suffering during the pandemic with cheap throwaway lines. She supplied a completely invented tale about a non-existent bean and spuriously claimed it could cause “excess lockdown weight” to be lost “quickly.”
Having written back to this not-so-clever practitioner of piffle at 12:38pm to point out that her press release wasn’t exactly witty, the mendacious minx tried to justify her stupid stunt on behalf of Love Yourself, a company that plainly has no honest story of its own to tell.
At 12:47pm, proving she’s as much use as a chocolate teapot when it comes to marketing might, Holt bleated:
“Fake Fun [sic] news in a fun on April the 1st, It is called April Fools day [sic]. This is 100% positioned for that. Tomorrow brands like Heinz, Apple, Tesla will all have April fools [sic] jokes in national papers. Yet, no-one will complain about their ‘Fake news’ as they are big brands.”
Going further and turning on the inevitable wokeness of Oprah loving private profiteers ‘Ginge and Cringe,’ Covent Garden and Bridlington, East Yorkshire based Holt then just had to come back with more. That came in the form of a tediously tepid “I’d also like to point out” in spite of her having been sent no further correspondence.
Choosing to slam the very publication she’d minutes earlier tried to feed her fake news to, at 12:57pm definite never to be a winner of a spelling bee Holt returned and barked:
“You must be very proud to work in an organisation that dismisses new stories for April Fools day [sic] and instead write harmful articles on people [such as Lindsay Lohan] who have been in rehab, This is what is wrong with society. Too eager to point the finger and call, rathe [sic] than look inside. Keep up the ‘good’ work.”
If you’re after a PR to make a prat of you or your company, do drop aspiring successor to Jo Moore, the world’s leading “burier of bad news,” Ivy Holt of Media PR a line. She won’t fail to disappoint and plainly is the kind of fake news spreader who’d also prove a useful addition to Brian Basham’s team helping Ghislaine Maxwell as she faces trial for trafficking minors in July.
As for Love Yourself, we today urge our readers to boycott their bilge until they appoint a more intelligent marketing department.