As President Putin invades Ukraine, we highlight some of the worst apologists for Russia in Britain and what they’ve had to say about this tyrant and his rotten regime – amongst them Arron Banks, Bernie Ecclestone and Nigel Farage
“With friends like these, who needs enemies?” comes to mind of three British born buffoons right now. Those buffoons? Disruptive businessman Arron Banks, former head honcho of Formula One Bernie Ecclestone and ex-UKIP leader Nigel Farage.
As the Russian tanks role into Ukraine and countless thousands are killed and injured by the tyrannical aggressor Vladimir Putin, it must be remembered that there are some in the United Kingdom who actually are fans of the current regime’s monster-in-chief.
Mildest of the three in his offerings past on Putin’s Russia is surprisingly Banks – who happens to be married to a Russian – who blames the West for having “humiliated” a country that covers 11% of the landmass of the world, but for Ecclestone and Farage, “the 21st century Hitler” is something of a hero.
In July 2019, Ecclestone remarked: ““If someone had a machine gun and was prepared to shoot Putin, I would stand in front of him because he’s a good guy. He’s never done anything that isn’t doing good things for people” and going further added:
“Honestly, I think the guy who be running Europe, impressed me more than anything, is Mr Putin because he’s a guy that says he’s going to do something and does it… [He’s] a first-class person.”
“He does what he says he’s gonna do, he gets the job done. I mean people don’t understand exactly what he wants to do… He wants to put Russia back to what it was.”
In March 2014, the fruitcake that is Nigel Farage – who in the last 24 hours ludicrously claimed the invasion of Ukraine has been entirely caused by the EU and NATO trying to “poke the Russian bear with a stick” and suggested: “If Vladimir Putin’s one demand is that we state clearly that Ukraine is not going to join Nato, why don’t we do it?” – said of Putin: “As an operator [I admire him]. The whole way he played Syria. Brilliant.”
ARRON BANKS’S WORST MOMENTS
Once quite rightly termed a “nobody” by William Hague, Arron Banks is currently in a legal suit with the courageous crusading columnist Carole Cadwalladr. He was expelled from two schools – once for stealing the lead off the roof – and is married to a Russian he met at a Britney Spears concert.
Of the war Russia is raging on Ukraine:
“Enjoy the war… Of course, it’s complex… Russia needs to cool its jets but people need to understand… The West humiliated Russia after the Cold War, ransacked its borders and behaved very badly. NATO and the EU on the Russian border was always going to provoke them.”
“The EU decided to play politics on Russia’s border, I don’t agree with the aggression but it’s a predictable reaction.”
On Sir Nicholas Soames, Sir Winston Churchill’s grandson:
“Tommy Two Belts Soames… Soames is a pompous old bore whose blind Europhilia would make Juncker blush. The only thing he and his fine ancestor have in common is their waistline.”
On President Donald Trump:
“[He] represents a new kind of politics and I think it’s coming [to Britain].”
Of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:
“I am convinced the Queen secretly loves [Farage] and would welcome him as a knight of the realm.”
On the late Duke of Edinburgh:
“A man with a great sense of humour.”
On New Labour and Bernie Ecclestone and other donors:
“Didn’t New Labour take a million pound bung from Bernie Ecclestone or promise British passports to a couple of Indian brothers?”
On Russian interference in the Brexit referendum:
“There was no Russian money and no interference of any type.”
On a meeting with a Russian ambassador with British-Belizean political activist Andy Wigmore:
“We’d been invited by a shady character called Oleg who we’d met in Doncaster at the UKIP conference… Our host wanted the inside track on the Brexit campaign… We shook hands and promised to meet again.”
Asked by the Electoral Commission about his involvement with Russians:
“My sole involvement with ‘the Russians’ was a boozy 6 hour lunch with the ambassador.”
On Cambridge Analytica:
“They devise psychological profiles of the electorate, using thousands of pieces of data to filter population into 150 personality types. With this information, you can tailor campaign material to particular groups… It may sound a bit creepy, but these days it’s how most political parties work.”
On the EU:
“A closed shop for bankrupt people.”
“[Membership] is like having a first-class ticket on the Titanic.”
Of how he perceives his personal importance in helping Brexit happen:
“I helped bankroll freedom & the biggest electoral shock of all time. Brexit will work out brilliantly. Dry your tears and move on.”
Of the Civil Service:
“They won’t be missed.”
On his and Andy Wigmore’s campaigning style:
“Wiggy and I like winging it.”
“Let’s play the ball, not the man.
On the coronavirus lockdown:
“A total waste of time.”
On facts:
“What [the American lobbying firm and referendum specialist Goddard Gunster] said early on was: ‘Facts don’t work,’ and that’s it… It just doesn’t work… It’s the Trump success.”
On Conservative to UKIP turncoat and now ex-MP Douglas Carswell:
“Borderline autistic with mental illness wrapped in.”
“Slanty-jawed, boggle-eyed bellend.”
On the climate change activist Greta Thunberg setting out in a zero-carbon yacht:
“Freak yacht accidents do happen in August.”
On fellow Brexiteer Sir Bill Cash MP:
“[A] Eurosceptic corpse.”
On former Labour MP Chuka Umunna:
“[A] self-appointed spokesman for political correctness.”
On Jeremy Corbyn MP:
“He’s our greatest ally. Long live Jezza!”
Of actor Hugh Grant commenting on ‘PartyGate’ and Boris Johnson:
“Shagging hookers in the back of your car in public probably ranks worse than tea and cake in a boring office do.”
On the Conservatives he likes:
“The only two people I trust with carrying out the peoples’ wishes are Andrea Leadsom and Liam Fox.”
On spending limits in British elections:
“We’re supposed to be Great Britain, not a banana republic!”
On the Electoral Commission:
“The Electoral Commission should wind their necks in.”
On what he wants next for Britain:
“Immigration cap of 50,000, with a £5,000 deposit. The economy would explode. Singapore on steroids.”
Of himself:
“I form my own opinions and ignore the crowd… I’m capable of independent thought… I’ve got my own opinion.”
On where he has been known to go late at night:
“I’m sorry to report that our last stop was a sleazy gay bar in Soho, the only place still open.”
BERNIE ECCLESTONE’S WORST MOMENTS
A poisonous penny-pinching dwarf and well-known as a “coffin dodger,” Bernie Ecclestone – a bestie of the man who paid £12 million to a woman he claims never to have met Prince Andrew – couldn’t give a damn about anything other than money. He’ll mouth off in support of anyone who might help him get just a little bit more.
On President Vladimir Putin:
“[He] should be running Europe… He should be in Brussels running Europe… We should get rid of Brussels and he should just be in charge.”
“Honestly, I think the guy who be running Europe, impressed me more than anything, is Mr Putin because he’s a guy that says he’s going to do something and does it… [He’s] a first-class person.”
“He does what he says he’s gonna do, he gets the job done. I mean people don’t understand exactly what he wants to do… He wants to put Russia back to what it was.”
“I was with [Putin] after the [2014 Sochi Winter] Olympics on the top of the bloody mountain… We had a meeting, just the two of us, and we came out and we were walking along and people were coming up to him asking for an autograph… That’s what people think of him.”
“If someone had a machine gun and was prepared to shoot Putin, I would stand in front of him because he’s a good guy. He’s never done anything that isn’t doing good things for people.”
On President Putin’s intolerance to gay people in Russia:
“When I was at school, if you did something wrong, the teacher used to say: ‘Go and get the punishment book and the cane. Go to your headmistress and get a few whacks or something.’ That’s what he does.”
On President Donald Trump:
“I think he’d be fantastic [as President of the United States of America]. I’m sure he’s much more flexible than most of them. If he’s made a mistake, he’s more likely to say: ‘It was a good idea at the time.’”
“He has done a lot of good things for the world.”
On Adolf Hitler:
“Apart from the fact that Hitler got taken away and persuaded to do things that I have no idea whether he wanted to do or not, he was in the way that he could command a lot of people, able to get things done… He wasn’t a dictator.”
On Jewish people:
“They have a lot of influence everywhere.”
On black people:
“In a lot of cases, black people are more racist than what white people are.”
Of democracy in the United Kingdom:
“If you have a look at a democracy it hasn’t done a lot of good for many countries – including this one.”
Of his crackpot suggestion that the now late Max Mosley, son of the late Fascist Oswald Mosley, might have been Prime Minister of Great Britain:
“[He would have done] a super job… I don’t think his background would [have been] a problem.”
On Brexit:
“I’m 100% an outer.”
On his wealth:
“I’ve got enough I can do with my money.”
On following the rules:
“I never stopped breaking the rules.”
Asked if immigrants had made a contribution to the UK:
“They have not.”
On who is worth speaking to:
“Anyone who doesn’t speak English isn’t worth speaking to… I’d rather get to the 70-year-old guy who has a lot of cash.”
On journalists:
“I can’t remember a single occasion when I have been kind to a journalist.”
On social media:
“I think the change that is currently taking place is very short-lived, as these social media people are starting to think it is not as good as they thought.”
On waiters and prostitutes:
“Waiters are like hookers, never around when you want them.”
On women:
“You know, I’ve got one of those wonderful ideas… Women should be all dressed in white like all the other domestic appliances.”
“What I would really like to see happen is to find the right girl, perhaps a black girl with super looks, preferably Jewish or Muslim, who speaks Spanish.”
On women participating in Formula 1:
“I don’t know whether a woman would physically be able to drive an F1 car quickly, and they wouldn’t be taken seriously.”
On Lewis Hamilton:
“I don’t find him particularly engaging… He’s not particularly you would say black.”
On the corrupt criminal and disgraced banker Gerhard Gribkowsky:
“Dear old Gribkowsky… I don’t blame him because I would have probably done the same if I could have done it. He found the weak spot, found some leverage and used it. You can’t blame somebody for doing that.”
On the individuals who kidnapped his mother-in-law:
“If I get upset, how could it help?”
On his business career and his family’s Bambino Holdings offshore trust:
“I’ve got the highest position there is. So high that when I look down, I can’t see anything.”
“Maybe the most serious thing I regret was giving my shares to my ex [Slavica Radić], because when she them all in a trust for her and the kids, I lost control.”
NIGEL FARAGE’S WORST MOMENTS
Though he thinks himself a “man of the people,” this big-mouthed braggart is actually more of a “man of the elite.” Prone to hanging around in Belgravia and Knightsbridge with his old convict chum ‘Posh George’ Cottrell – jailed in America in 2016 for wire fraud – Nigel Farage is prone to pontificating on almost any subject and supposedly, according to one of his school teachers, “marched through a quiet Sussex very late night shouting Hitler Youth songs” as a child.
On President Putin being his political idol:
“As an operator, but not as a human being, I would say Putin. The way he played the whole Syria thing. Brilliant.”
On President Barrack Obama:
“[A] loathsome individual.”
On President Donald Trump:
“A good President.”
“Dominated [Hillary Clinton] like a silverback gorilla.”
Reacting to a poster showing Adolf Hitler promoting the single currency:
“Politics needs a bit of spicing up.”
On the then European Union President Herman van Rompuy in 2010:
“You have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk… The sooner you are put out to grass, the better.”
On the problems caused by immigration:
“[The M4] is no longer as navigable as it should be.”
On who should be allowed into Britain:
“People who do not have HIV, to be frank.”
On Romanian immigrants:
“Any normal and fair-minded person would have a perfect right to be concerned if a group of Romanian people suddenly moved in next door.”
On Muslim immigrants:
“[They are] coming here to take us over.”
On a UKIP candidate called a Chinese person a “Chinky”:
“If you and your mates were going out for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for? … A lot would [say ‘Chinky’].”
On Scotland:
“A pretty ugly nation.”
On the Swiss:
“We wouldn’t want to be like the Swiss, would we? That would be awful. We’d be rich.”
On politics in general:
“We are the turkeys who have voted for Christmas.”
On people speaking in languages other than English on public transport:
“[Makes me feel] uncomfortable.”
On gun laws:
“Ludicrous.”
On global warming and climate change:
“A scam… We may have made one of the biggest and most stupid collective mistakes in history by getting so worried about global warming.”
On gay marriage:
“I think we’re opening up a very big can of worms here and I think there some very, very big risks… I do not support the idea of same sex marriages.”
On breastfeeding women:
“[They should] sit in the corner, or whatever it might be.”
On the banking crisis:
“The banking collapse was [not caused] by greed.”
On women in the workplace and maternity leave:
“A woman… is worth far less to her employer… Working mothers are worth less than men.”
“Maybe it’s because I’ve got so many women pregnant over the years that I have a different view.”
On being chased out of a pub in Kent by protestors:
“I hope these ‘demonstrators’ are proud of themselves. My children were so scared by their behaviour that they ran away to hide. At the time of writing this a relative has gone to look for them, and they are not yet at home. These people are scum.”
After being in a plane crash:
“Looking at the picture of me in the wreckage, note that I’ve still got my top button done up and my tie on.”
On the extra £350 million per week for the NHS Vote Leave claim:
“A mistake.”
On whether Brexit could be a failure:
“I never promised it would be a huge success.”
On what he’d do if Brexit fails:
“If Brexit is a disaster, I will go and live abroad. I’ll go and live somewhere else.”
On himself:
“I’ve been called a great many things in my time.”
